Stress Management is an Inside Job
By Irene Conlan -
It’s holiday time again and people are already getting stressed. The economy is up and down and many are wondering what to do about holiday spending. We’re coming to the end of the year and quotas and budgets need to be met and the pressure is on. The kids are hoping and pleading for their favorite – and perhaps expensive – thing for Christmas and you don’t know if you will continue to have your job. These and the other stressors of this season are already beginning to cause tension and pressure. Have you noticed this on the streets and freeways?
As you know, there is good stress that motivates you to get up and get going to finish the job, to make the decision, to do what you need to get done. Relief comes when the task is completed. We are not talking about this. We are talking about the stress that creates a negative reaction within you resulting in physical and emotional negative response.
We have to deal with stress on two levels:
- the outer level – alleviating the immediate effects of stress before they get overwhelming
- the inner level – dealing with those inner factors that cause you to react in an unhealthy way to the stressors around you.
To work with stress that is already present, we have a number of great tools:
- deep breathing
- exercise such as a short brisk walk
- affirmations
- an interesting distraction
- and all those other things you find in lists of how to combat stress.
But there are ways to circumvent much of the stress you experience on a regular basis and here I ‘m going to sound like the proverbial broken record saying the same thing I have said time and time again. As you do the inner work, the outer world has less and less impact on you. Inner work is what you do with yourself to know who you are, what you want, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what you believe and why you believe it. Those things. Yep, you have to deal with this stuff if you want to get off the stress merry-go-round.
The starting place is (dare I say it?) meditation. Get quiet. Get relaxed. And ask yourself questions. Listen for answers that come from within.
For example. What do I believe about who I am and why I’m here? Am I physical being only or is there a spiritual side to me? How do I know? What about emotions? Do I believe only what my parents taught me or a teacher relayed or have I examined it for myself and made my own decision? How much of the old, unexamined belief system directs my behavior and my decisions on a daily basis?
Go through the list. What do you believe about every major area of your life? Examine from every angle what you truly believe about:
- God
- Government
- Society
- Marriage
- Economics
- Wealth
- Money
- Ownership
- Relationships
- Men
- Women
- Work
- Responsibility
- And the list goes on
This is not a static thing but something that is ongoing. As you learn more and your consciousness is enhanced, you will find that your beliefs change somewhat. They become clearer and you develop a deeper understanding of the different issues important to you.
This is not a quick fix and cannot be done in one sitting. Spend the rest of your life on it. It will do more for you than the latest episode of Law and Order or a rerun of Friends.
Then when chaos is going on all around you, you don’t need to go into defensive or reactive mode. You know who YOU and what YOU believe and want. The little things no longer “get to you.” You can continue to function in a more balanced manner without having your blood pressure go through the roof, or your fist putting a hole through a wall or your mouth saying things you’ll live to regret because stress has taken control.
Now and then, of course, when you have “one of those days” – you ruined your best dress or suit, your car stalled on the freeway, your children have the flu and/or the dog ate your steak before you got the first bite – you will feel stressed. But on a day to day basis you will find that what’s going on around you is tolerable because what’s going on within you is under control.
Have a great day!
