When we live on “automatic pilot”

By Irene Conlan -

Yesterday a friend dropped by for a visit. When she was ready to leave she put her stuff in the car seat, and shut the door while she said her goodbyes and put on her jacket. While she was goodbying and jacketing her automatic car door locks went into action, locking her out of the car with the keys inside. We called AAA and an hour and a half of “why did I” and “Why isn’t AAA here yet” and  “I have too much to do to waste this much time” the door was opened and she was on her way.

This morning, after my morning crossword puzzle and email, I logged in to this blog. Or I tried to log in. I have had this blog for over three years now. My son, the brilliant “web-guy” takes care of it for me and, even though he told me at the time, I couldn’t remember my password. The computer remembers my user ID and my password. Not today.  Most of you know what that’s like. I tried the usual passwords and none worked so I had to click “can’t remember password” and get a new one. When I entered the new one I realized what I had done – I work in two browsers and I had unknowingly opened the wrong one. Well, I have a  new password and I know I can remember this one. I wasted time I couldn’t afford to waste.

My friend and I were both on what I call “automatic pilot.” Our minds were somewhere else and the rest of our being was trying to function on its own. I was thinking about all the things I have to do today – getting my eyes checked, going to Costco, Jack’s Christmas party at school, what to blog about – and how I was going to manage it all. I was simply not aware of what I was doing when I was logging in.

I can’t speak for my friend but I DO know her mind was not on the car and her keys. We both wasted time we didn’t think we could spare.

Paying attention. Awareness. Living in the moment. Those are the key words here.

This is something that is easy to talk about but not so easy to do. We are humans, after all, and our minds can go to the past or future just as easily as they can stay in the now.  The mind also can get sidetracked and go to what someone else is doing rather than what “I” am doing.  She was talking while she was getting ready to leave and not paying attention to what she was doing. I was in my morning mind wandering phase of the day and not paying attention – neither of us was living in the moment.

Jay Dixit, wrote an article published in Psychology Today that lists six things to do to stay in the moment:

1: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it (unselfconsciousness)
2: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present (savoring).
3: If you want a future with your significant other, inhabit the present (breathe).
4: To make the most of time, lose track of it (flow).
5: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance).
6: Know that you don’t know (engagement).
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200810/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment

If you think about those six things you’ll realize they make perfect sense, but I recommend that you read the whole article to fill in the gaps.

Action only happens in the now. Don’t we all want to be where the action is?

About Irene: Irene Conlan has a master's degree in nursing, with a major in nursing administration and a minor in psychiatric nursing. She taught nursing at Arizona State University, served as Director of Nursing Administration at St. Luke's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix and served as Assistant Director of the Arizona Department of Health Services for the Division of Health Care Facilities and Emergency Medical Services. She is also a certified hypnotherapist with a practice in Scottsdale, AZ. She is an avid blogger and manages http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com, http://www.theselfesteemblog.com, http://www.thepositivepsychologyblog.com Irene lives in Scottsdale AZ and has two sons and three grandsons.