Let’s focus on self esteem – Part 1 Overview

Self esteem. We talk about it a lot and we  use it as a scape goat for our failures or  for the failures of others. “He is smart enough, you know. But he has such low self esteem … ” “If she didn’t have such low self esteem, she would be at the top of her class.” “His low self esteem holds him back.” I just don’t feel good enough about myself to try that.”So what are we saying here? If he liked himself, he could be a success. That may be true in part but there may, and probably are, other factors at work here as w ell.

We’re very tuned in to self esteem issues and, in fact, they may have become a “catch all excuse” for  our failures. And yet, it is still an important component of success and a feeling of self worth. What it is  that makes you truly “like yourself?f” For the answer to that we will turn  to Positive Psychology.

The starting place is to get to know yourself. What are your strengths? If you know your strengths can you draw on them and side step your weaknesses? (Hey, we all have weaknesses and it’s no shame to admit it).  Martin Seligman, founder of the Positive Psychology Movement, has identified twenty four strengths that are possible to each of us. We will be looking at these in detail. Don’t expect yourself to have all twenty four but know that you absolutely DO have some of them. These are the building blocks and you need to know what they are to do the building of positive self esteem. (Oh, by the way, it’s up to you to come to like  yourself – it isn’t any one else’s responsibility).

As a starting place, I encourage you to go to the Positive Psychology website and complete the survey on strengths so you know exactly what you have to work with. Go to http://www.authentichappiness.org and take the VIA Strengths survey.

Today we will list the strengths and  tomorrow we will take a closer look. Selegman’s twenty four strengths argrouped into seven groups: Wisdom and Knowledge, Perspective, Courage, Humanity and Love, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence. *

Wisdom and Knowledge

1, Curiosity/Interest in the world
2. Love of learning
3 Judgment/Critical thinking/Open mindednes
4. Ingenuity/Originality/Practical Intelligence/Street Smarts
5. Social intelligence/Personal Intelligence/Emotional Intelligence
6. Perspective

Courage

7. Valor and bravery
8. Perseverance/Industry/Diligence
9. Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty

Humanity and Love

10. Kindness and Generosity
11. Loving and allowing oneself to be loved

Justice

12. Citizenship/Duty/Teamwork/Loyalty
13. Fairness and equity
14.Leadership

Temperance

15. Self Control
16. Prudence/Discretion/Caution
17. Humility and Modesty

Transcendence

18. Appreciation of beauty and Excellence
19. Gratitude
20. Hope/Optimism/Future-Mindedness
21. Spiritual/Sense of Purpose/Faith/Religiousness
22. Forgiveness and Mercy
23. Playfulness and Humor
24. Zest/Passion/Enthusiasm

It is my personal belief (and one that is  held by many others) that to  improve your self esteem you  do not have to drudge up all the events of the past that mady you dislike yourself. You don’t need to reiterate the fact that your father called you a “Dummy” or your mother said you’d never amount to anything, etc. You don’t need to bring up that you failed algebra or didn’t get picked for the lead in the school play. Focus on, and develop, your personal strengths and in th end, you will value yourself and even like who your are.

Isn’t it worth your best shot?

See ya tomorrow.

(From Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potoential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin Seligman. Free Press,  N..Y., 2004. Chapter 9.

About Irene: Irene Conlan has a master's degree in nursing, with a major in nursing administration and a minor in psychiatric nursing. She taught nursing at Arizona State University, served as Director of Nursing Administration at St. Luke's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix and served as Assistant Director of the Arizona Department of Health Services for the Division of Health Care Facilities and Emergency Medical Services. She is also a certified hypnotherapist with a practice in Scottsdale, AZ. She is an avid blogger and manages http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com, http://www.theselfesteemblog.com, http://www.thepositivepsychologyblog.com Irene lives in Scottsdale AZ and has two sons and three grandsons.