Let’s Focus on Self Esteem – Part III Courage
By Irene Conlan -
Two friends were walking along the road together and suddenly came upon a group of children who were about to be attacked by a vicious dog. One grabbed a large stick by the side of the road to defend the children and scare off the dog while the other one stood and watched. It isn’t hard to determine which one had courage. We admire people who are brave and who defend us and others who cannot defend themselves – the military, firemen, policemen, paramedics, etc. We cheer in movies when the brave “good guy” wins.
Today we will focus on the strength group representing Courage. In the courage group are
- Valor and bravery
- Perseverance/Industry/Diligence
- Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty
Valor and Bravery – we all have our own idea of bravery and generally we think of our men and women in the military defending us on foreign fields. Most of them are truly brave and we should be grateful for them always. They, and others, put themselves in harm’s way in our behalf on a regular basis. They are in true physical danger and face it regularly.
Those who stand up for what they believe even if it isn’t popular are also brave – they are morally brave. Martin Luther certainly fit this category as well as our founding fathers who stood against the king of England. Martyrs who died for their faith and those who didn’t flinch when their beliefs were threatened are examples of this kind of bravery. It takes great courage to stand alone against a crowd.
There are also those who are psychologically brave. I work with a group that helps those who are grieving the loss of a 
loved one. There are those who want to throw in the towel right away – they want to die rather than pick up the pieces and they expect everyone to help them. On the other hand, there are those who have suffered multiple losses and serious setbacks, who get up and go on, active in their own healing. These are the brave ones. When serious illness strikes there are those who crumble and those who stand and fight it and at the same time reach out to help others. I knew a woman named Joni Erickson Tada who, a quadriplegic since a diving accident as a young woman, faced life again and learned to paint brilliantly with a brush between her teeth and became an inspiration to millions. This is courage.
We do not all have the strength of bravery but we so admire those who do. Where do you fit?
Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty
I can’t say this better than Selegman who, in Authentic Happiness says:
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a “real” person. By integrity and genuineness I mean more than just telling the truth to others. I mean representing yourself – your intentions and commitments – to others and to yourself in sincere fashion, whether by word or deed. “To Thine own self, bge true, and thou canst not then be false to any man.” (Authentic Happiness, p. 147)
There was once someone in my life who had a habit of lying – even when it didn’t serve any purpose for him. I would hear him telling a lie even when the truth would have been better in the situation. I asked him once why he did that and he couldn’t answer me. It was a long standing habit and he wasn’t interested in changing it. I came to distrust everything he said and soon was not able to stay in that friendship. He as dishonest in other things as well and hurt many others because of his lack of integrity – mainly he hurt himself. He made big claims about himself but didn’t walk his talk.
Sometimes it takes great courage to stand for what you believe to be the truth and it takes real bravery to be true to yourself when everyone around you urges you to be “someone else.”
There are courageous people all around us. Are you one of them?
Is courage one of your strengths?
Recommended reading:
Authentic Happiness Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Poetential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin E.P Seligman, N.Y., Free Press, 2002.
