By Irene Conlan -

This is a book that is long overdue and is a must read for those who have aging parents as well as for the aging parents themselves. This book is filled with the wisdom about caring for aging parents that comes from experience and with the compassion that comes from love. Brent walked the path first and then wrote about it in an effort to help others avoid some of the pain,confusion and pitfalls she had to experience in caring for her aging father.

Our society has kept the subject of death and dying hush-hush. It wasn’t a subject we talked about as if not avoiding it would keep it from happening to us or our loved ones. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross brought it to the forefront with her revolutionary book, On Death and Dying in 1969. Since then many books about grief and grieving have been written and many websites are dedicated to the subject of grief.

There is little available, however, on how to prepare for your care when you begin to decline – becoming unable to totally care for yourself. Furthermore, there is little available to help your loved ones prepare for your decline and death. Carolyn Brent helps you find ways to do this kind of planning together BEFORE its to late to have a viable discussion.It isn’t ever pleasant but it is absolutely essential.

Brent covers such subjects as finding an acceptable long term care facility and what is expected from them and what they expect from you. She details caring for them in your home. She helps you approach the discussion about money issues, end of life directives, and care for the body after death. She talks openly about family upheavals, jealousies, interference and ultimatums. She gives encouragement to the caregiver and offers great tips on how to be a caregiver without ruining your own health in the process. In fact she touches on all those difficult and delicate issues that we don’t know how to deal with or how to approach discussing them with the ones we love. She bravely bares her own soul and emotions to describe personal experiences to make it real to you and help you see the necessity of addressing these painful subjects with all who are affected.

Why Wait?  is well written, speaks to the issues without beating them to death, holds your attention and addresses critical information in an understandable way. I recommend that anyone approaching their older years read it and give it to their children. I recommend it to the children of aging parents. I recommend it to caregivers everywhere and I urge every Senior Center and geriatrics practitioner to have a copy of this book available. If you don’t have a copy, Why wait to get your copy of Why Wait?

By Irene Conlan -

Diana Raab’s book, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Story is a three-time blessing. She writes a poignant story of her battle with cancer from the first detection of a lump in her breast until reconstructive surgery after the mastectomy. She gives the reader instructions about journaling and, at the end of each chapter, asks questions that stimulate deep reflection about the reader’s own journey Finally, she gives us her own thought provoking and heart tugging poetry all along the way.

It is a very brave telling of a difficult story that no one wants to be a part of. She lays bare her soul and lets us feel her fears, her anger, her concern and, yes, even her self-pity. (We all deserve a little self-pity now and then when tough times just seem to be getting tougher and tougher). She shares with us her most intimate thoughts about her breasts and what they mean to her and her feelings that she was going to be a lesser woman. It would be nice to think there are no others who go through this – but we all know that most women share this feeling even if they are reluctant to give voice to it. Diana allows them walk through it with her. She doesn’t hold back and she doesn’t give up.

A great strength of the book is that she doesn’t judge or devalue her feelings. They are what they are and she lets you see them all – and sometimes you can feel them along with her. Sometimes they last for what you might consider “far too long.” Sometimes you may want to say to her, “Get on with it.” The tears flow often and copiously and she tells us about them. Please pay attention. It’s o.k. to feel what you feel and not keep those emotions bottled up to fester inside you. This is a special gift Diana gives you – to know it’s o.k. to feel your feelings and cry your tears. This is real. This is what she was facing. It is down to rock bottom honesty and I commend her for being so open and sharing so freely. Many women are being helped by it even as we read this.

And, after winning the battle with breast cancer and coming to terms with her changed body, she received another ominous diagnosis – multiple myeloma – and four years after that diagnosis she states: “In spite of everything, I try to wake up in the morning happy to be alive and with joy in my heart.  I believe it is very important to surround myself with those who bring only positive and nurturing energy into my life. Being surrounded by joy brings joy and helps you move forward toward your dreams.”

Who should read this book? Every woman with a diagnosis of breast cancer (or any cancer) and every man who’s wife or lover is affected by it. If you know someone who has recently received the diagnosis of breast cancer, give them a copy of the book, a lovely bound journal and a really great pen. It could, in all possibility, be a life saving gift.