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Becoming Your Best Self – Six Top Ways to Give – And Get – Acknowledgment

May 7, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

What we need has a lot to do with how we live our life. Actually, let me correct that. What we need and DON’T GET has almost everything to do with how we live our life. When we need something and don’t get it, we put a lot of energy into trying to get that need met.

While our compulsion to satisfy unmet social, emotional and growth needs is just as strong as our need to obtain food and water, these efforts usually happen on an unconscious level.

Without understanding why, we are driven to do things, not always in our best long-term interests, to satisfy our needs.

As I’ve worked with many people over the years in trying to identify their unmet needs, the single most pervasive missing need is acknowledgement. We have a need to be valued, acknowledged, visible and counted.

There are definite tools you can use to work on getting your needs fulfilled. One of the simplest — and the one you have the most control over — is to GIVE what you want to RECEIVE. To paraphrase the message from the Bible, “You reap what you sow”. People tend to respond in kind. That means, if you’re nice to them, they’ll be nice to you. Taking these two ideas together, here are some simple suggestions for giving acknowledgement, which in turn should allow you feel acknowledged as well.

Make eye contact. Looking at people straight in the eye is the first step in showing acknowledgement. This little tip can make an enormous difference in your life because it’s simple to do and can be practiced every day, every where. Try keeping your head up while you walk and really “look” at the people you pass in the street. Notice who is looking at you and who is looking down, afraid to make eye contact. Making eye contact is a definite sign of self confidence and draws people to you.
Smile. Sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many people prefer not to do it. I’m not clear why, but I think it may have to do with not initiating interaction. We prefer to respond to others, not start the ball rolling. This, in turn, has to do with our fear of rejection. We are concerned that our smile won’t be returned, so we wait to see what the other person does.
Use names where you know them. There is nothing so aligned with who we are as our name. In fact, what is your first response to “Who are you?”. Yes, your name! So using the names of people goes a long way in helping them feel acknowledged. Use first names when you know them and it’s appropriate; use Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Smith, when the situation calls for a more formal salutation. If you think about, there are a lot of situations where people, especially in stores, are wearing name tags. Make sure you check it out and use it frequently during any conversation.
Say thank you often. No matter what the situation, there are many opportunities to say thank you. For example, when a waiter brings your food, when an employee completes an assignment, when your son draws a picture of you — the examples are endless. Two small words and yet how powerful they are in helping people feel validated and useful. That simple phrase is at the core of all acknowledgement, so use it often. It never gets old or corny.
When someone does a good job, let them know. There are few things more motivational than having someone pat you on the back and saying “Nice work!”. Sometimes you need to search for something to acknowledge people for, but it is well worth the effort. For 90% of all people, your recognition will spur them to try harder and do an even better job the next time. Don’t forget to say “Well Done!” for that achievement, too.
Be willing to ‘go first’. As I mentioned above, most of us prefer to take the lead on how to act from other people. It takes courage to be the first one up, but with practice, it becomes easier. It might help to remember that others are waiting for someone ELSE to start the interaction, so why not be that person?

Try these simple steps and pay close attention to how others feel around you and also how you start feeling about yourself. Notice how people perk up when you come around and notice how you feel when you are alone. I am willing to bet that you feel more acknowledged and valued yourself.

And if you’re interested in more tips for Becoming Your Best Self, I invite you to claim your free instant access to the ebook “Blueprint for Success”, chock full of ideas and strategies to reclaim your energy and get the results you want by visiting [http://www.touchpointcoaching.com/bfs.htm].

From Louise Morganti Kaelin – Become Your Best Self and Live Your Best Life!

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Why Problems Are Valuable?

May 6, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Steve Wickham -

Problems have their role,
In highlighting our distress,
So we can approach the goal,
Of working on what to address.

***

We all experience life from various states of emotional undress. Life has its consistent way of undoing us. The resilient person is the one who takes the initiative and works on their states of emotional undress, always striving to overcome depressive episodes (not that depressed people ever willingly succumb).

PROBLEMS HAVE THEIR ROLE

Why is there suffering in the world? It may be one of the most paralyzing and perplexing of all realities; one for which we have no concrete answer.

But we can, if we want to, choose to see that problems have their role; that there is a time and a place for every problem.

Problems may have about them the recognition that something or all is not well. They highlight the symptom. They are a beacon for the cause. And if we have the interest, the throbbing curiosity, we can begin the process of inquiry and see it through.

By exploring our problems, especially by externalizing them so as to employ our imaginations, removing fear, we can perceive the source and reason for our distress. Then, and only then, are we positioned to construct a goal; which is the work of recovery.

When we admit we’re undressed, undone for introspection, with our vulnerability agape, we stand on a precipice of an important consciousness. We’re beautifully poised to know what work needs to be done, and from there, if we have the courage, we can resolve our problem.

DESIRING INNER KNOWLEDGE

This is the real secret: to desire the knowledge of ourselves that may even be unknowable. When we attempt the impossible like this, willing to explore our unconscious anxiety, nothing will remain untouchable, though many things we’ll admittedly never touch. (Our unconscious minds cannot be plumbed.)

The point of problem-solving is set in obtaining knowledge of the problem in order to establish a goal for recovering the situation. We dredge for inner knowledge. We get curious. From there, we find what it is we need to address.

Inner knowledge is our key. We transfer from an attitude of resentment for the problem, to an attitude of curiosity to spark change. Suddenly we’re delimited. Goals come creatively to mind. And inspiration fills our heart to implement the goal.

***

Problems have their value in highlighting to us what needs to change. If it wasn’t for problems we would never grow. As soon as we can see problems are our impetus, curiosity replaces resentment, and we feel saved again.

� 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

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Be Happy by Resigning As Center of the Universe

May 5, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Tim O’Brien -

“I recently resigned as the person in charge of running the Universe. It was a self appointed position. And, I gladly accepted my resignation.” (Note to myself)

Have you ever caught yourself fuming inside? Maddened by an internal dialogue about what another person should do with their life? Have you ever said, “If they’d only do this, they wouldn’t have a problem”? Do you have a habit of finding fault, criticism and aloof sarcasm and quippy responses either internal or aloud? If so, join the crowd! I had a difficult time with it. Now it is better. Not gone, but much better.

How did I begin to control the role I played as a “know it all”? I resigned from the position! I’m sure that sounds silly or absurd, however, that was what I wanted. I needed to make the behavior appear as it actually is: worthless. I held a small formal ceremony in front of a mirror. I was the only attendee, as I was the person who had appointed myself to the position. I told my reflection that I no longer felt comfortable or qualified to be the center of the universe. After the solitary laughter subsided, I solemnly accepted my resignation.

Then I wrote myself some notes on behavior patterns that were no longer acceptable or appropriate. Here are some of those notes to myself. Consider them for yourself.

1) Let others be. They are their own person. I often don’t know what is right for myself. How can I presume to know what is good for others?

2) Listen more than I speak. Through listening, understanding the situation, views and actions of others usually follows.

3) Watch children, both at play and in serious discussion. They have a way with simplicity. When they are happy, they laugh. When sad, they cry. Don’t complicate living.

4) Think the best of others. And, feel surprised when it isn’t true. Cynicism is easy. Having optimism and confidence in others is a greater challenge, but more functional.

5) When in doubt, don’t. Think until clear on a subject. Then, speak, if needed, in a plain, direct way.

6) Discuss the negative and embarrassing in private. Have compassion for the feelings and ideas of others. Never make a joke at another person’s expense.

7) When there is a choice, be kind. Encourage whenever possible.

Look for the good in others. Forgive the negative. Avoid those who show no interest in self-improvement. Avoid those who take joy in demeaning others.

9) Remember, “we all arrived on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” All humanity has a connection. Emphasize the common points of agreement, not the points of contention.

10) A corollary to #9, “since we’re all in the same boat, let’s row in the same direction.” Find strength in cooperation, not through condescension.

If you’ve never acted like the center of the universe, perhaps you gained insights about someone who has. If you have spent a day or two at the center, hopefully you’ve found the courage to resign. You mirror awaits you.

More FREE articles at http://www.hyperstress.com that will help you improve your performance and regain control of your life. By Timothy J. O’Brien M.S. co-author of the Amazon Best Seller, “If You Have Employees, You Really Need This Book.”

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Creativity – What Does It Take to Get Your Creative Juices Flowing

May 4, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Andreea Butiu -

Being creative is not an easy task. As all of the people who work in fields that require constant creativity, there are moments when ideas just don’t come. What can you do in those moments?

You can’t give an exact recipe of what works for each of us, because as we all know, we are each unique. Nevertheless, there is no problem in giving you some ideas of what to do in this case.

1. Try doing old things in new ways - Generating new experiences for you opens up your mind. If you feel like you’ve lost your whole inspiration, then there is something in your life that you can do differently in order to bring the new into it. If you always used to take the same road to work every morning, this time choose a different path. If you used to drink black coffee each day, this time try a frappe. Small changes can be done in order to break the habit. Habit is the biggest enemy of creativity.

2. Try a new environment - This can mean everything from re-painting your working corner, to taking a trip to the other side of the world. Meeting new cultures would be the supreme change of vision and environment.

If you’re not up for such a big change, then you can stick to just re-arranging your work space. Put a flower on your desk, add some awesome framed photos of your friends and family, create a collage of interesting articles from magazines, write your name in colorful letters.. Anything! Just make it colorful and inspiring!

3. Look for inspiration - You can find inspiration on the internet, or why not, from the people around you. Just be open to actually see the world and other people’s ideas.

To give you a personal example, I’ve joined different websites, like deviantart.com for example, to help me in getting some inspiration for photography, design and digital painting. Besides that you can also subscribe to blogs that will feed you the information, no effort from your part required ( besides checking out the posts, of course).

The main idea is that our creative juice is triggered by different things. For some it’s a scene, for others it’s a word, a sense or a smell. It’s important to get a hint of the things that trigger your creativity. What sense of the 5 turns your brain creative mode?

It’s not easy, but it can be done with patience and trying the different methods I talked about here. You’s eventually get the idea of what you need to be creative.

We have decided that people need a drop of inspiration in their life.
Busygoat is a blog that works 24/7 to keep your creative juice flowing. Find creative and amazing ideas here!

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The Privileges System for Children: Ten Steps to a Courteous Kid

May 3, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

Editor’s Note: We have been running articles this week about decisions. This article offers a way to teach your children to make decisions about their own behavior. Perhaps we as parents should apply it to decisions about our behavior as well. Hmmm. Parents and children behaving well. What a concept!

By Jennifer M. Koontz -

It is possible to raise kind, well-mannered children with no yelling, no spanking, and no time-outs. When I created the Privileges System three years ago, my daughter needed boundaries… fast. I always said, “I won’t have a brat,” but I had to admit that if I didn’t act soon, I would indeed have one. Now I get compliments on her behavior, and though she’s not perfect (who would want the perfect child?), she is polite and respectful. The best part is that she even recognizes other children who need to use this system!

You can bring peace and harmony back into your home by using the Privileges System for Children. Here’s how it works, in ten easy steps:

1. Say to your child, “Wouldn’t it be great if you got to do what you wanted and Mommy and Daddy didn’t have to yell anymore?” (The answer is quite likely to be, “Yes!”)

2. Each day, ask your child to choose approximately 5 – 8 privileges that he or she would like to enjoy. You write (or sketch, if your child is a non-reader) one privilege per sticky note and attach the sticky notes to a place that is easily visible to you and your child.

3. Any time the child engages in inappropriate behavior (whining, pouting, bossing, tugging, stalling, pestering, etc.), name the behavior and count. For example, “I hear you whining. I’m counting that as number one. If you continue to whine, I will continue to count. If I reach three, you will lose a privilege.” Only wait about ten seconds to count to the next number if the behavior does not improve. If the behavior does improve but reemerges later, start the counting over.

4. It is imperative that you remain calm and never try to talk your child into stopping the behavior. Calmly name the behavior, and then count. When you reach three (and you must, for the system to work), say, “You have reached number three. You have lost the privilege of _____ for today.” You choose the privilege that is to be “counted out.” Just because you are giving choices does not mean that you give up control of the system.

5. Once a privilege is “counted out,” it is highly likely that your child will react with tears, pleading, more whining, and whatever else is in his behavioral arsenal. If that happens, you may simply say, “I am sad, too, that you made the choice to continue that behavior. I was looking forward to watching you enjoy that privilege.”

6. Remove the sticky note representing the privilege that was “counted out” from its place and put it inside a kitchen cabinet, or somewhere else that is out of sight. That privilege is gone for today, but remember… tomorrow is another day.

7. If inappropriate behavior ensues following the loss of a privilege, simply name the behavior and count again. It is not unusual for a child to lose two or three privileges quickly when you first begin the system. Some parents choose to begin with more than five privileges if they anticipate their children will lose them quickly at first.

8. Once a privilege has been “counted out,” it is gone for that day. A child cannot earn back a privilege by being well-behaved. This is not a system of negotiation. It is important to remind your child that he or she will have the opportunity to choose that privilege again on another day. Say, “maybe on that day you will be able to make a better choice with your behavior and we will get to enjoy the privilege.”

9. When your child chooses privileges, be sure that they work for you. Don’t agree to a privilege that won’t fit into your schedule for the day. The Privileges System teaches parents and children to work as a team. If your child makes a suggestion that won’t work for one day, explain why another day might work better. You are the parent; you have veto power.

10. Go about your day and enjoy the privileges. When a privilege has been enjoyed, put the sticky note representing that privilege out of sight. Utilizing the sticky notes enables children to see the consequences of their actions, both favorable and unfavorable. If there are no privileges left and it’s only the middle of the afternoon, allow your child to choose several more privileges, but do not reinstate privileges that have been “counted out.”

The Privileges System fits your schedule and your children’s preferences. Privileges can be anything from a ride on daddy’s shoulders to ten minutes of your undivided attention. The beauty of this system is that it can be used for any age child, from preschoolers to teenagers. Sure, the privileges change over time, but the theory doesn’t. Acceptable behavior results in the enjoyment of privileges; unacceptable behavior results in the loss of privileges.

Don’t worry that you won’t be able to keep track of your counting or of how many privileges have been “counted out.” Guess who can help you with that? Your child! Children never lose count of their privileges. If you are using the Privileges System with more than one child, use different colored sticky notes and don’t allow one child to be the “score keeper” for another child. Everyone focuses on his or her own behavior.

And you, as the parent, get to focus on the fact that you have not yelled since you began using the Privileges System. You are no longer a yeller! Congratulations! Your children and your vocal cords thank you. Now that you have committed to the Privileges System, you will see results in a very short time, maybe even in a matter of hours. Children enjoy being in control of their behavior and they love to choose their privileges.

If you have the determination and fortitude to really make a change, everyone wins. What do they get? Privileges. What do you get? Peace.

Jennifer M. Koontz is a mother and an educator who has taught students of all ages, from preschool through college. She is the author of When Your Centerpiece is Made of Play-Doh and the Dog Has Eaten Your Crayons: A Mother’s Perspective on Parenting. For more information, please visit, www.facebook.com/jmkoontzforparents

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Happiness Is a Choice, Choose It Today

May 2, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Paul Vann -

We can either be happy or sad, the choice is ours. I consider myself to be happy and it is out of a positive choice to live a life filled with joy.

You will be surprised that some people are not happy and that is a choice as well. I advocate for all people to be happy no matter their station in life. Why?

Being happy add years to your life because it is a positive force that works against one of the number health disorders in the world, stress. Medical studies have proven, a person who is happy has a better quality of life. The reason some people have a better quality of life is because they are operating from within.

When we call upon our strength which is on the inside of us, we summon the essence of who we are which has a direct link with happiness. When we are happy we look better, feel better and is full of excitement about life and when we encounter people who are not happy, we continue on our path of happiness.

So you may be asking yourself, how can I be happy? You have asked a good question and I will explain how you can be a happy person. First of all, make a personal assessment of yourself, to include reflecting on your upbringing as a child. Were your parents happy?

Likelihood is, you will know if your parents were happy because it has a direct link to you and your experience and we mirror what our parent and or guardian did. If your parent was happy, likelihood is you will live a life of happiness because your model during your formative years projected happiness in their personal life, in your presence and they instilled it in you.

I equate happiness with joy and if you are filled with joy, you probably enjoy being alive. To me, being alive is reason enough to be happy, it beats the alternative. If anyone you know does not seem as though they are happy, talk with them to find out why.

Happy people want others to be happy as well, it makes the world a better place and the health value is simply incredible. Just as a smiling add years to your life because of the chemical process taking place, being happy means we smile, laugh and in general look at life through a different set of lenses, rose-colored if you will.

Take a look at the rear view mirror of your life to see if you have lived a life of happiness. One way to do this is to write down the moments in your life that were happy for you and whether that lifestyle continues today.

One of the happiest moments of my life was growing up with parents who loved me and my eight siblings. We did not have a lot of money, however we were happy people. Over the years, I have lived a life of happiness and I hope you have as well, it is a choice, on in which I highly advocate.

Now it is up to you, make the choice to live a life filled with happiness and joy, it is without a doubt the best choice you could ever make. Be happy and healthy, it looks good on you.

Paul Lawrence Vann is an inspirational speaker who motivates and empower people to live with passion, motivation and joy. He is author of the book, Living on Higher Ground and co-author of 101 Great Ways To Enhance Your Life. Paul is a professional speaker, leadership and workplace diversity expert and host of The Wealthy Speaker Radio Show. Paul works with Fortune 500 corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, associations, military and educational institutions to deliver high energy messages that resonate with audiences all over the world. Subscribe to Paul’s monthly ezine: Living on Higher Ground, visit: http://www.paullawrencevann.com or contact him at (240) 416-5077.

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Choose Your Mood

May 1, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Dinyah Rein -

Your mood, in a significant way, is your life. Your predominant mood establishes the tone for your life. If your mood is predominantly happy, content, or an otherwise positive mood, chances are you’ll say you’re having a good life. And if your mood is predominantly negative, well…

What mood are you in right now? How did you come to be in this mood? Do you ever wonder where your moods come from? Do you experience being able to make a choice about them, or do they just seem to happen to you?

The good news is, research in positive psychology and related fields is proving that you can take control of your mood, learn to be more optimistic, even happier, and thus create a better life for yourself.

There are three basic ways moods happen: without our knowing; when something happens, be it something good, or something bad; and because we chose to do something about a mood, and deliberately changed it.

When you wake up in the morning, what mood do you find yourself in? Do you tend to notice the mood, or is your first awareness a thought like, “Oh no, is it time to get up already?” Or “Uh oh, I forgot to….” And now those will get you in a mood, won’t they?

When you start your day with “Oh no,” or “Uh oh,” the sour mood that creates can have a powerful negative impact on your day, and on your overall well-being. If you don’t intervene, you’ve just set the stage for many other things to go wrong, feel wrong, and create stress throughout your day.

Likewise, if you start your day with gratitude for the sunrise, or appreciation that you woke up before your alarm, or excitement about what’s on the agenda for the day and the possibilities, that mood will also likely impact your entire day, and your well-being, this time for the positive.

So how can you take charge of your moods, and become a predominantly happier person?

Catch Yourself in the Act

Many of us have habits of thinking that put us in a bad mood. Self-criticism, worrying, regretting – all of these are thought loops we run, like an old CD we forgot to take out of the stereo, without realizing we can choose something else. The next time you find yourself doing one of these negative bad mood thought habits, STOP. Don’t beat yourself up for it (that would just be more of the same). Simply remove that old CD, and put in a new one. You could literally turn on some music and listen to that rather than thinking. You might try telling yourself you’re not going to waste another minute on that, and then think about something else. Anything would be progress from continuing to indulge those old negative thought habits.

Focus on Positive Thoughts

You can create new, positive thought habits, put some good new CDs on your player, by creating a discipline for yourself of thinking positive thoughts. For example, start a gratitude journal, and focus at least once a day on things you’re grateful for. Get in the habit of acknowledging and appreciating people. Let yourself vision your own positive future. Any time you spend in positive thinking is time well spent!

One simple way to refocus your thinking is to ask yourself (and others, by the way) questions that help focus on the positive, such as: *What am I grateful for? *What am I proud of? *What am I happy about? *Who loves me? *Who do I love? *How have I contributed?

Change Your Language

Your words, both spoke out loud and spoken to yourself in your thoughts, have great power to influence your mood. Phrases like “I can’t…” as in, “I can’t afford that” will bring you down. Replace that with, “I am preparing to…” Or even “I choose to…” and notice the difference you feel.

Every time you describe something from your past as if it were happening now (even if the last time it happened was just a moment ago) you are bringing yourself down. There is great power in leaving the past behind, beginning with your language, and being optimistic about the possibility that the future may be different. The simple phrase, “I used to…” or “Up until now I…” can help you to change your mood, and your behavior, to a whole new possibility.

Don’t Just Stand There, DO Something!

One of the most powerful and simple ways to change your mood is to take action. A simple shift in your posture (look up, stand tall, chin up) will lift your mood. Moving your body, i.e. exercise or dancing, will elevate your mood, even if it’s not strenuous. Play upbeat music, and watch what happens to your mood. Or, sing a song yourself!

Take It On and Feel the Difference

You can retrain your predominant mood by making some or all of these suggestions standard daily practices. Start your day by reciting or writing what you’re grateful for. Before you start working, and throughout the day, stand up, look up, even jump up, and pick up your mood. Acknowledge and appreciate others at every opportunity. Play music in the background as you work, or clean, or cook. Exercise every day. Breath deeply and enjoy the moment. One of my favorites – hold my hands under the water and enjoy how it feels each time I wash up in the bathroom – quick, easy, uplifting.

Play with it, find your favorites, and lift your mood. It’s up to you to take charge of the quality of your life.

Dinyah Rein has been coaching people to succeed at their personal and life goals for more than 25 years. If you’re ready to move powerfully forward toward your own goals,sign up for her weekly newsletter at http://coachdinyah.com

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Getting Over Heartache? You Will Survive

April 30, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Susan Russo -

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” -Herman Hesse

When first going through the heartache that goes along with a divorce or breakup you may think you will never get beyond the pain. You may think you are going to live with this heartache for the rest of your life and you just know that you will never meet anyone again that you love as much.

Well the good news is; you’re wrong. The bad news is that you have to go through it to get to the other side. But, eventually you will get through it and you will survive. There are stages of grieving that you will experience until you get to acceptance.

Getting over heartache is never easy but if you believe that you will survive; you will get through it sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe things will work out or you constantly relive the past, wallow in why, what if, and if only; you will only prolong the inevitable.

Once you accept the truth, when the reality finally sets in that your relationship really is over, is the time that you will begin the healing process. But healing will not happen until you truly accept that things are never going to be the way you wanted.

Heartache happens to every person on the planet in one way or another and along with time healing your wounds; making smart, healthy choices while going through the grieving process with help you get to the other side much faster. Below are some of the good and bad choices you can make to make it easier or harder to get through.

UNHEALTHY CHOICES:

* Continuing to keep in contact: calling, texting, asking to meet; just one more time.

* Rehashing the past all day, every day with anyone who will listen.

* Longing to understand why; this one is a biggie – 99% of the time you will never know why or if they do give you a reason, who knows if it’s the truth? So the sooner you give up on wanting something you may never get, the better off you’ll be!

* Allowing yourself to wallow, having daily pity parties and constantly asking, “Why me?”

* Wishing things were different and hoping things will work out.

HEALTHY CHOICES:

* Keep yourself as busy as possible; surround yourself with the people who love you and want to see you heal.

* Exercise! I don’t care what you do just do something even if it’s only for 10 minutes a day. This is the # 1 thing you can do for yourself that will help you feel better on all levels. * Begin to believe you will survive and that there is a whole big wonderful life ahead of you.

So, if you are getting over the heartache of losing someone you love, know that this is only a temporary situation; this too shall pass. Know that you will survive and move on to have a great life again. And, more importantly begin to believe that you will and you will.

Susan Russo is an author whose pointed and direct approach has helped many people move beyond the heartache of a divorce or breakup and see there really is life after what’s his or her name.Would you like to learn how to move on sooner rather than later? Learn how to with Susan’s FREE “7 Steps to Survive a Breakup or Divorce

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What Are YOU Good At?

April 29, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Rahna Barthelmess -

Recently, during a corporate training session at LEGO, I asked a group of professionals to write down 20 qualities about themselves, 20 strengths of their personal brand. One woman looked completely dumbfounded. She stared down at the blank sheet of paper and finally said, “Rahna, that’s got to be the hardest thing you could’ve asked for!” She was stumped. She had no idea what to write and sadder still, she had no idea what she was good at! This is a woman in a very large, very well-known company that conducts annual formal performance reviews….and still she didn’t know. Can you imagine?

Unfortunately, I see this all too often. People have no idea what value they bring to their world, what strengths they have, what qualities they have to contribute.

This is a crime. This is why I do what I do. EVERYONE needs to know what they are good at, what they do well, and if everyone knew that, they would raise their self-esteem, seek out opportunities to maximize the use of those talents, and ROCK THEIR WORLD!

Please, I’m begging you. If you don’t know what your talents are, go find out!

Here’s how:

Go ask several of your business colleagues, your friends, and a few family members to tell you at least four things they appreciate about you. Ask for qualities they feel you express, and seek to understand why that adds value to their life. What is it about you that is so great? Why are you so important in their life? What value do you bring to them? Why do they seek you out?

Try to be as specific as possible. You want to understand the nuances of these qualities in order to understand what makes you unique. Bill Cosby, Jim Carey, and Chris Rock are all “funny” in COMPLETELY different ways. You want to understand the subtleties about your strengths and how you are different from everyone else.

When you’re in middle school, you just want to fit in. Standing out, being different, being unique is tantamount to social suicide….But for marketers, being unique is what it’s all about, because no one wants to buy what they perceive as “me-too” products. People seek out something special, something one-of-a-kind…and the same applies to people, too. Those who are different, unique, one-of-a-kind tend to stand out in a crowd and find it easier to “make a name for themselves.” Actors who can find their own style have more earning potential and end up with the “plum” roles. Think about Meryl Streep, Jack Nicholson, Katherine Hepburn, Dustin Hoffman, or Tom Hanks.

So please, if you care about advancing your career in amazing ways, find out what you’re good at. It is a foundational piece of information for radical career growth both inside a corporate environment and on your own. Understanding your unique value helps you “sell” yourselves to others (and make no mistake about it: in your career, you are always selling yourself).

From her work in a top NYC advertising agency to the international conference rooms of a leading toy company, Rahna Barthelmess has turned branding into business for a variety of leading brands, most notably LEGO, Miracle-Gro, and Texaco. With over 20 years of experience, Rahna has passionately built some of the world’s beloved brands and shared her marketing expertise and branding programs to over 2000 people in a variety of industries.

Rahna Barthelmess is a branding expert who inspires executives to stronger personal branding for more authentic work and greater impact on their world through her Signature for Success ( http://www.beacon-marketing.com/programs/signatureforsuccess.html ) personal branding program. She has helped those in executive development programs in Fortune 500 companies strengthen their leadership and do more meaningful work.

In addition, Rahna lends her expertise to start-up businesses as Adjunct Professor of Branding and Positioning at The University of Hartford’s Center for Entrepreneurial Studies.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rahna_Barthelmess
http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Are-YOU-Good-At?&id=2572045

Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: self improvement, strengths, weaknesses, what are you good at

Relationship Tips To Create More Fun And Playfulness With Your Partner

April 28, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Sheena Jean -

My husband and I spend a lot of time together. We have gone on 3-week vacations together, in which we are with each other almost 24 hours of every single day. And like any other couple, we do have friction from time to time, but we never get tired of being around each other. We haven’t needed to “take a break” or retreat to our respective “caves”.

Why? My theory is two-fold. We are able to spend so much time together because we allow each other our own space (even when we are together) and because we are playful and have fun with each other.

While writing this, I realized that having a great relationship with someone really has more to do with having a great relationship with yourself first. Think about it…if you have a lot of doubts, fear and negativity in your own life, what do you really have to offer to another person, besides a warm body at night?

A common value that my husband and I share is that we are both COMMITTED to evolving and growing as human beings first – in our work, life, spirituality and relationships. We are both continuously working on being the best human beings we can be. The positive benefits of living this way automatically drip over into our relationship with each other.

We are far from perfect, and still have our quibbles, but I have pondered what makes our relationship fun and work so well for us. This is what I have come up with and hope that my relationship tips can help you in your relationship.

Don’t Take Life So Seriously

More than a few times, I have gotten caught up in the ridiculous delusion of taking life too serious. A recent example is when I got an attitude with my husband for making me late to an appointment because he wanted to stop at the post office beforehand to pick up a package. The woman at the post office couldn’t find his package and ended up spending 20 minutes looking for it. I waited outside in the car, frantically texting him to make sure he was aware that I was going to be late.

As he casually strolled out to the car, I lost it. How inconsiderate of him to not be rushing as if his life depended on it. Then he got in the car and leisurely searched for his sunglasses and put them on before starting the car. I was on fire.

This would have been the perfect time for a self-reminder not to take life so seriously. But no, I had to grill him first and try to manipulate him into feeling guilty for his inconsiderate actions. I was on a roll. I was clutching onto anger and unwilling to let it go. And all for what??

NOTHING.

Thankfully he didn’t entertain my negative reaction and turned up the radio and started to sing.

JFZ (Judgment Free Zone)

My husband will actually sing out the above phrase to me when he feels that I am judging him. It snaps me out of my judgment mode and actually makes me laugh. Open communication creates emotional connection and bonding. The death of a relationship is when one partner or the other feels unable to openly express themselves without being judged by the other.

Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances. ~ Wayne Dyer

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge. ~ Wayne Dyer

Get Over Things Quickly

I have learned that feeling good is way more important than holding on to grudges or anger. I see feeling negative as poison and want to get it out of my system as soon as possible. I am much quicker now to release negative feelings than I used to be. What used to take me days to get over now takes me just minutes or seconds. I have learned to just let it go. Being happy feels so good.

Always Be Learning

Once you stop learning, you are boring. If you don’t question yourself or life, you are boring. My husband and I are always learning new things. It keeps life and our relationship interesting. Currently, our “thing” is that once a week, we plan something new to do. Last week, we went to Bingo night, which neither of us have done before. This week we are going ghost hunting.

Make the Mundane Insanely Fun

This boils down to having fun no matter what you’re doing or where you’re at. It’s all about the attitude you choose to have. It’s about being random. Doing what you feel like doing without caring what others think. My husband and I do this all the time, every single day.

An example is when my husband left for work one morning and called me just 10 minutes after leaving. When I answered he said “hi”. I was surprised and touched that he was calling just to say hi. Then he immediately said “bye” and hung up. I almost died laughing.

Aside from being random, we make everything into a game. While watching the previews at a movie theater, we will say “yay” or “nay” at the end of each preview signifying whether or not we would watch that movie.

It’s little things like this that add so much fun to what could otherwise be considered mundane.

Don’t Compare. Just Appreciate.

When someone appreciates the work you do or the person you are, how does it make you feel? Great right! This is true of all of us. When I tell my hubby how much I appreciate everything he does for me, it makes him want to continue to do things for me. When he tells me what an awesome woman I am, it makes me want to always be an awesome woman. Focus on and appreciation of the positive aspects of your partner will create more of the positive. Focus on the negative aspects and you will get more of the negative. It’s your decision.

Check out more self improvement tips and relationship tips on my blog.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheena_Jean
http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Tips-To-Create-More-Fun-And-Playfulness-With-Your-Partner&id=6962996

Filed Under: Featured

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