We all have these expectations on what we want our relationships to be. Everyone is a little different, but we still have the same fundamental desires… love, respect loyalty, and support. Although we may be looking for this in our partners, it is what we should be seeking within ourselves. As relationships are a reflection of who we are and what we settle for in ourselves.
Vulnerability isn’t a dirty word!
We have to stop thinking that being sensitive and vulnerable is bad thing. We are all afraid of being hurt. Love hurts because we cared so much, and there is nothing wrong with believing in someone, and trying your best. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it should never be something we feel angry or ashamed about. It’s happened to us all and they are valuable lessons taking us closer to the truer love we were meant to experience.
Walking the talk
No one is perfect. We all have our flaws. If we are meant to have this wonderful Utopian love life and relationship we dreamt of then we have to be the willing partner. It’s not about waiting to see if it comes in return. Be the love you want. Give the respect you want. Not from jaded hearts, and suspicious eyes that look for some imaginary emotional garbage at every turn. Life is what you make it. So is love. Be the love you want in return. If it isn’t returned… walk.
Live in the moment
Some people are so cautious. They take every step in fear and in doubt. Open yourself to be receptive to the love that embraces you. Accept the imperfections within yourself and your partner and stop sweating stuff that you manufacture in your mind, because you seek and ideal, not something that is real. Make love fully in the moment. There is nothing greater than being in the arms of your partner fully lost in the passions of the moment, surrendering to the love. When you can free your mind, you can free your physical manifestation of your love, and be in unison with your partner on every level.
Love is a reflection of who we are. It is what we want it to be. If we want to this great love that we’re all told we are to experience once in our lifetimes then we have to embrace it within ourselves so that we attract it from others. Love is inside us to give. Yet, we are the ones who taint it, and we are the ones who cage it. Once you fall in love with the love deep inside you, then you will truly never settle for less.
Elliot Zovighian is a life coach, speaker, author, blogger is the owner of EZ Lifestyles, a life coaching company from Toronto, Canada. His daily blog offers articles and advice on such subjects as life skills, work and career, relationships, parenting, featured videos and more. http://www.ezlifestyles.ca
As an ordained minister I have officiated at many weddings – at least 200 of these special events and the one I officiated last night may be my last. Age has caught up with me a bit – we’ll see.
But if it was my last, it was a wonderful way to retire. It was very, very special.
It wasn’t that it was a wedding for African-Americans that set it apart. It was the first wedding I had done with an all African-American group. The ceremony even included “Jumping the Boom” – a lovely little ceremony within the ceremony that remembered the years in slavery and symbolized sweeping out all the old negative energy to give a “clean sweep” to the new marriage.
It wasn’t that it was held in a beautiful home in a lovely neighborhood in Scottsdale, Arizona.
It wasn’t because of the ceremony, although the bride and groom had worked with me to create something just for them. It was long ceremony that included giving gifts, lighting a unity candle, jumping the broom and a rose ceremony. It was the longest ceremony I have ever participated in.
It wasn’t because there were big celebrities there, although I may just not have recognized them if they were. To me they were all celebrities.
It wasn’t because the bride had the most beautiful gown I have ever seen at any of the weddings I have done. She was an older bride – in her middle fifties and had chosen a dress perfect for her. The bridesmaids and matron of honor were also elegant. No “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” dresses for any of them.
It wasn’t because everything was so tastefully and elegantly done, although that certainly didn’t hurt.
It was the love.
Love seemed to fill every space in that home. There were a number of children there and the love between the adults and children was palpable and the children were the most well-behave children I have ever seen anywhere. As an outsider I know I may have missed anything that might have been a subtle undercurrent – although usually these are easy to detect. I did not detect any such energy in this family.
The wedding started late. And yet there was no rush. There was no anger. There was little stress shown by anyone. (I say this because weddings are often so stressful that everyone is on edge, tempers often flair and tears often fall). Nothing like this was present in this place.
The bride and groom were in such synchronicity that they seemed to know just what the other was thinking and feeling. They had known and silently loved each other for years, and now they were finally together. They were beautiful. In her vows she told him he put music back in her life. That touched my heart.
I was included in all this love. I was hugged and welcomed and thanked. I was made to feel so at home that I hated to leave. I have never been treated as graciously anywhere. Not anywhere. Ever.
I wish everyone who holds anger toward someone else, or who feels lonely, who is prejudiced, or who has never experienced what a loving family feels like could have been a part of this event. I still feel warm and fuzzy when I think of it.
Love like this is an energy that changes you at a cellular level and you’ll never be quite the same again.
Thank you Mildred and Gary, for giving me the privilege of officiating at you wedding. Thank you for reminding me about how real love shows up.
Holistic Medicine refers to the system of health care that fosters a cooperative relationship among those involved and leads toward optimal attainment of physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual aspect of health.
The career outlook for a holistic health care provider is good. They make on average $45-$55 thousand a year. Holistic care is a growing field in the green market.
Some other terms associated with Holistic medicine are alternative medicine which is widely used by the public and many health care practitioners, complementary medicine which refers to the non-invasive, non-pharmaceutical techniques by conventional medical practitioners to complement conventional medical treatments like surgery, and natural healing which refers to the use of non-invasive and non-pharmaceutical techniques to help the patient heal.
Alternative medicine is usually applied to the medical techniques that are not considered traditional forms of healing and medicine. This also includes the practice of herbalism, acupuncture, and massage therapy.
Professional and Personal Qualities
Individuals interested in an alternative medicine career should be compassionate and willing to provide the necessary assistance to their patients. Since massage therapist usually work in health clubs, hospitals, corporate setting or in the field of education, a knowledge on basic holistic medical approach must also be considered and studied. Holistic health care providers should be able to look at the whole person, and analyze their physical, nutritional, environmental, emotional, social, and spiritual and lifestyle values.
Educational Requirements and Training Certifications
To be accepted into a program for holistic studies or alternative healing, schools usually require at least a two-year degree or bachelor’s degree. Many other schools offer professional certification and licensing in different areas such as acupuncture, massage therapy, and herbal medicine.
Most holistic healers however are self-employed. Their salaries vary depending on the field they have chosen. Holistic healers in the public sector such as hospitals, clinics, and universities make more than those who are self-employed.
Holistic health care providers includes herbalists, acupuncturists, and massage therapists. People interested in the field of herbal medicine may start their education by taking correspondence courses at their local community college. Professional groups provide certification to members who have attained a certain level of training as herbalist. A person interested in acupuncture may find many accredited schools in the US. On the average, an acupuncture program lasts for 2-4 years. There are also master’s degrees available for students and doctoral programs are being considered at many acupuncture schools. GreenCareersGuide.com is the #1 green careers website on Google. We have the most comprehensive database of articles on green jobs. Whatever your stage of life, we have you covered. Green careers, green training, and green entrepreneurship articles are only a small part of our exhaustive green career site. There are tremendous upsides to having a green career. http://www.GreenCareersGuide.com
I love computer games and I’m addicted to Pogo. No, I don’t work for them and I have never won a prize for playing their games. But there are things I learn, not necessarily about how to play the game but about me. This morning while I was trying to decide what to blog about I played a round of Word Jong. There’s four sets in this game, each one composed of a pile of letters in different configurations. The letters are chosen to form words – you know the drill. When you finish the four sets you are gifted with a “fotrtune symbol” – you get to choose whether you want:
When you make your choice you get a fortune cookie saying such as “Laughter is everywhere.” It’s a little hokey but leaves you with an “up” feeling.
I find that I have begun to choose these with some degree of seriousness and use them as a prayer for what I truly want. I use them as little affirmations.
In the beginning I chose things the loftier selections like truth, honor and wisdom because I somehow thought I should. Now I find that I generally rotate between love and happiness and may simplify even more and hone in on love only. Everytime I play the game, I get it reinforced.
Love is the key to everything that’s meaningful in life. I don’t mean the mushy, gushy, crushy love that slobbers all over you – although that’s nice now and then. I mean the bold, rock solid kind of love that makes you better, spurs you on, keeps you going, helps you sacrifice, makes a difference, makes life worth living and fills you with joy. It’s love for yourself which in turn can ripple out to love for others. There’s nothing else if there is no love.
Do you want to be happy in your life? Not the constant blissed out happiness of flower children, but genuine happiness on a day to day basis. Happiness is only a thought away. What do I mean by that? One of the key indicators of how happy you feel is how optimistic you are and one of the causes of optimism is how you talk to yourself. In a previous issue, we talked about your internal guidance system and touched on self talk. This month I would like to explore this concept a bit further.
When you make a mistake – do you beat up on yourself? Do you call yourself names like “stupid”, “failure” or “idiot”. Do you “should” all over yourself, “I should be doing this” or “I shouldn’t be doing that”. When we were born, we did not have these negative critics in our head. As we grew, we adopted them into ourselves from our parents, teachers and other kids.
Most of us learnt the art of criticism really well – after all we didn’t want to get above ourselves did we? In fact many of us learnt the lessons so well, that we outdid the originators of the criticism. Whatever they said, we thought it twice as strong and twice as fast. Sort of like if mum was going to send us to our room for 5 minutes time out for something we had done, however we had already sent ourselves to our rooms and decided to lock ourselves in for a whole year, not eat for a week and remove the TV for good.
So what can you do about it? Martin Seligman in his groundbreaking book “Learned Optimism” gives some simple tools to turn around your thoughts.
1. Listen to your self-talk. When do you do it most? What do you say to yourself? Would you speak to your small children the same way that you talk to yourself? Are your “shoulds” realistic measures of you or are they setting unrealistic benchmarks for your behaviour?
2. Think about some times when your behaviour contradicted the self talk (eg: if you think you are a bad mum, then find some examples of when you were a good mum).
3. Find some different explanations for the situation or event. This is not about justification, it is about finding different possibilities. (eg: It could be that the person that yelled at you for something you did was having a bad day and their anger really had nothing to do with you)
4. Distract yourself from going over and over the bad thoughts. Tie your worries onto a worry tree or a into a worry basket and come back to them later if you really have to. Find other “lighter” thoughts to think about. Listen to music, do some exercise – anything to interrupt the flow of negative thoughts.
5. Question your underlying beliefs (eg: I must be liked by everyone I meet, I must be completely competant and make no mistakes ever if I am worthwhile, it is easier to put off something unpleasant than deal with it). Underlying beliefs can be hard to shift, but they are not impossible.
So if you really want to be happy in your life, listen to your self talk and take some action.
In the words of Groucho Marx:
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:
‘I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
Julius “Groucho” Marx, 1890-1977
Ingrid Cliff is a [http://www.heartharmony.com.au]Brisbane freelance writer and the Chief Word Wizard of Heart Harmony – her writing services studio that helps put your business into words. Ingrid writes a free weekly newsletter packed full of small business tips to help both you and your business grow [http://www.heartharmony.com.au/index.html]www.heartharmony.com.au.
This morning as I was reading my book at breakfast, I read that question – “When is the last time you said ‘I love you?’” Hmm. It was yesterday. I hugged my grandson and declared, “Jack, I love you soooo much.” He smiled, wiggled down and continued his important mission with some trains, trucks and cars. Sometimes he’ll stop what he’s doing and come over to put his arms around my neck and say, “Gramma, I love you.” Sometimes it’s followed by “Can I watch TV?” but generally it’s a stand alone statement. [Read more...]
Yesterday I watched and listened as the Pope, the leader of the Catholic Church, addressed the American bishops at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, D.C. I was especially interested since I went to school at The Catholic University of America which is located on the same grounds as the Shrine and I spent a great deal of time in the Basilica. The Vesper service prior to the address was beautiful and uplifting and set the tone for reverence and worship and I felt “warm fuzzies” at the beauty of it.
As well as observing the actions at the Shrine I was also observing the reaction within myself – something I have learned to do over the years. Where do I tighten up and why? [Read more...]
Melanie Brocklehurst, the guest on last week's Self Improvement Show, brought to our attention the plight of little girls in Nepal and Tibet. (If you didn't hear the show, it's worth listening to - click the video above and hear what Melanie has to say.)It is an opportunity for you to help someone … [Read More...]
Frontline Learning is making over 40 online learning courses available to 5000 unemployed individuals. Any currently unemployed person is eligible to receive these programs simply be registering online (see link below).
There is no hook or catch or "fine print" here - these are full featured … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan -
For some it was a stretch to accept the idea of the wholeness of the individual—that we work as a unit with body, mind, emotions, and spirit working together and what affected one part affected the whole. If my emotions, for example, are seething with anger something will … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan -
Thoroughly researched and carefully crafted this is a program that is designed for success in a field that sees far too much failure. How many people struggling with addiction to drugs and alcohol check themselves into rehab over and over and never seem to be free of the need to … [Read More...]
This morning when I started working on this blog, I opened the Dashboard, as usual, to deal with the comments. Often I get great comments about the articles I've posted. Occasionally, I get comments by someone who thought the article was wrong, needed changing, or just didn't measure up. I welcome … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan-
Have you seen the ads for electronic cigarettes? It's an interesting twist on the ordeal of quitting the smoking habit.
My son decided he wanted to quit and after researching a number of companies settled on a productg by LeCig.
His package arrived Friday and today he … [Read More...]
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