We all have these expectations on what we want our relationships to be. Everyone is a little different, but we still have the same fundamental desires… love, respect loyalty, and support. Although we may be looking for this in our partners, it is what we should be seeking within ourselves. As relationships are a reflection of who we are and what we settle for in ourselves.

Vulnerability isn’t a dirty word!

We have to stop thinking that being sensitive and vulnerable is bad thing. We are all afraid of being hurt. Love hurts because we cared so much, and there is nothing wrong with believing in someone, and trying your best. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it should never be something we feel angry or ashamed about. It’s happened to us all and they are valuable lessons taking us closer to the truer love we were meant to experience.

Walking the talk

No one is perfect. We all have our flaws. If we are meant to have this wonderful Utopian love life and relationship we dreamt of then we have to be the willing partner. It’s not about waiting to see if it comes in return. Be the love you want. Give the respect you want. Not from jaded hearts, and suspicious eyes that look for some imaginary emotional garbage at every turn. Life is what you make it. So is love. Be the love you want in return. If it isn’t returned… walk.

Live in the moment

Some people are so cautious. They take every step in fear and in doubt. Open yourself to be receptive to the love that embraces you. Accept the imperfections within yourself and your partner and stop sweating stuff that you manufacture in your mind, because you seek and ideal, not something that is real. Make love fully in the moment. There is nothing greater than being in the arms of your partner fully lost in the passions of the moment, surrendering to the love. When you can free your mind, you can free your physical manifestation of your love, and be in unison with your partner on every level.

Love is a reflection of who we are. It is what we want it to be. If we want to this great love that we’re all told we are to experience once in our lifetimes then we have to embrace it within ourselves so that we attract it from others. Love is inside us to give. Yet, we are the ones who taint it, and we are the ones who cage it. Once you fall in love with the love deep inside you, then you will truly never settle for less.

Elliot Zovighian is a life coach, speaker, author, blogger is the owner of EZ Lifestyles, a life coaching company from Toronto, Canada. His daily blog offers articles and advice on such subjects as life skills, work and career, relationships, parenting, featured videos and more. http://www.ezlifestyles.ca

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elliot_Zovighian
http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-the-Love-You-Seek&id=4995185

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As an ordained minister I have officiated at many weddings – at least 200 of these special events and the one I officiated last night may be my last. Age has caught up with me a bit – we’ll see.

But if it was my last, it was a wonderful way to retire. It was very, very special.

It wasn’t that it was a wedding for African-Americans that set it apart. It was the first wedding I had done with an all African-American group. The ceremony even included “Jumping the Boom” – a lovely little ceremony within the ceremony that remembered the years in slavery and symbolized sweeping out all the  old negative energy to give a “clean sweep” to the new marriage.

It wasn’t that it was held  in a beautiful home in a lovely neighborhood in Scottsdale, Arizona.

It wasn’t because of the ceremony, although the bride and groom had worked with me to create something just for them. It was long ceremony that included giving gifts, lighting a unity candle, jumping the broom and a rose ceremony. It was the longest ceremony I have ever participated in.

It wasn’t because there were big celebrities there, although I may just not have recognized them if they were.  To me they were all celebrities.

It wasn’t because the bride had the most beautiful gown I have ever seen at any of the weddings I have done. She was an older bride – in her middle fifties and had chosen a dress perfect for her. The bridesmaids  and matron of honor were also elegant. No “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” dresses for any of them.

It wasn’t because everything was so tastefully and elegantly done, although that certainly didn’t hurt.

It was the love.

Love seemed to fill every space in that home. There were a number of children there and the love between the adults and children was palpable and the children were the most well-behave children I have ever seen anywhere.  As an outsider I know I may have missed anything  that might have been a subtle undercurrent – although usually these are easy to detect. I did not detect any such energy in this family.

The wedding started late. And yet there was  no rush. There was no anger. There was little stress shown by anyone. (I say this because weddings are often so stressful that everyone is on edge,  tempers often flair and tears often fall). Nothing like this was present in this place.

The bride and groom were in such synchronicity that they seemed to know just what the other was thinking and feeling. They had known and silently loved each other for years, and now  they were finally together. They were beautiful. In her vows she told him he put music back in her life. That touched my heart.

I was included in all this love. I was hugged and welcomed and thanked. I was made to feel so at home that I hated to leave. I have never been treated as graciously anywhere. Not anywhere. Ever.

I wish everyone who holds anger toward someone else, or who feels lonely, who is prejudiced, or  who has never experienced what a loving family feels like could have been a part of this event. I still feel warm and fuzzy when I think of it.

Love like this is an energy that changes you at a cellular level and you’ll never be quite the same again.

Thank you Mildred and Gary, for giving me the privilege of officiating at you wedding. Thank you for reminding me about how real  love shows up.

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Holistic Medicine refers to the system of health care that fosters a cooperative relationship among those involved and leads toward optimal attainment of physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual aspect of health.

The career outlook for a holistic health care provider is good. They make on average $45-$55 thousand a year. Holistic care is a growing field in the green market.

Some other terms associated with Holistic medicine are alternative medicine which is widely used by the public and many health care practitioners, complementary medicine which refers to the non-invasive, non-pharmaceutical techniques by conventional medical practitioners to complement conventional medical treatments like surgery, and natural healing which refers to the use of non-invasive and non-pharmaceutical techniques to help the patient heal.

Alternative medicine is usually applied to the medical techniques that are not considered traditional forms of healing and medicine. This also includes the practice of herbalism, acupuncture, and massage therapy.

Professional and Personal Qualities

Individuals interested in an alternative medicine career should be compassionate and willing to provide the necessary assistance to their patients. Since massage therapist usually work in health clubs, hospitals, corporate setting or in the field of education, a knowledge on basic holistic medical approach must also be considered and studied. Holistic health care providers should be able to look at the whole person, and analyze their physical, nutritional, environmental, emotional, social, and spiritual and lifestyle values.

Educational Requirements and Training Certifications

To be accepted into a program for holistic studies or alternative healing, schools usually require at least a two-year degree or bachelor’s degree. Many other schools offer professional certification and licensing in different areas such as acupuncture, massage therapy, and herbal medicine.

Most holistic healers however are self-employed. Their salaries vary depending on the field they have chosen. Holistic healers in the public sector such as hospitals, clinics, and universities make more than those who are self-employed.

Holistic health care providers includes herbalists, acupuncturists, and massage therapists. People interested in the field of herbal medicine may start their education by taking correspondence courses at their local community college. Professional groups provide certification to members who have attained a certain level of training as herbalist. A person interested in acupuncture may find many accredited schools in the US. On the average, an acupuncture program lasts for 2-4 years. There are also master’s degrees available for students and doctoral programs are being considered at many acupuncture schools. GreenCareersGuide.com is the #1 green careers website on Google. We have the most comprehensive database of articles on green jobs. Whatever your stage of life, we have you covered. Green careers, green training, and green entrepreneurship articles are only a small part of our exhaustive green career site. There are tremendous upsides to having a green career. http://www.GreenCareersGuide.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ezra_Drissman

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I love computer games and I’m addicted to Pogo. No, I don’t work for them and I have never won a prize for playing their games. But there are things I learn, not necessarily about how to play the game but about me. This morning while I was trying to decide what to blog about I played a  round of Word Jong. There’s four sets in this game, each one composed of a pile of letters in different configurations. The letters are chosen to form words – you know the drill. When you finish the four sets you are gifted with a “fotrtune symbol” – you get to choose whether you want:

• love
• peace
• wisdom
• honor
• truth
• happiness

When you make your choice you get a fortune cookie saying such as “Laughter is everywhere.” It’s a little hokey but leaves you with an “up” feeling.

I find that I have begun to choose these with some degree of seriousness and use them as a prayer for what I truly want. I use them as little affirmations.

In the beginning I chose things the loftier selections like truth, honor and wisdom because I somehow thought I should. Now I find that I generally rotate between love and happiness and may simplify even more and hone in on love only. Everytime I play the game, I get it reinforced.

Love is the key to everything that’s meaningful in life. I don’t mean the mushy, gushy, crushy love that slobbers all over you – although that’s nice now and then. I mean the bold, rock solid kind of love that makes you better, spurs you on, keeps you going, helps you sacrifice, makes a difference, makes life worth living and fills you with joy. It’s love for yourself which in turn can ripple out to love for others. There’s nothing else if there is no love.

Love never fails.

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Do you want to be happy in your life? Not the constant blissed out happiness of flower children, but genuine happiness on a day to day basis. Happiness is only a thought away. What do I mean by that? One of the key indicators of how happy you feel is how optimistic you are and one of the causes of optimism is how you talk to yourself. In a previous issue, we talked about your internal guidance system and touched on self talk. This month I would like to explore this concept a bit further.

When you make a mistake – do you beat up on yourself? Do you call yourself names like “stupid”, “failure” or “idiot”. Do you “should” all over yourself, “I should be doing this” or “I shouldn’t be doing that”. When we were born, we did not have these negative critics in our head. As we grew, we adopted them into ourselves from our parents, teachers and other kids.

Most of us learnt the art of criticism really well – after all we didn’t want to get above ourselves did we? In fact many of us learnt the lessons so well, that we outdid the originators of the criticism. Whatever they said, we thought it twice as strong and twice as fast. Sort of like if mum was going to send us to our room for 5 minutes time out for something we had done, however we had already sent ourselves to our rooms and decided to lock ourselves in for a whole year, not eat for a week and remove the TV for good.
So what can you do about it? Martin Seligman in his groundbreaking book “Learned Optimism” gives some simple tools to turn around your thoughts.

1.    Listen to your self-talk. When do you do it most? What do you say to yourself? Would you speak to your small children the same way that you talk to yourself? Are your “shoulds” realistic measures of you or are they setting unrealistic benchmarks for your behaviour?
2.    Think about some times when your behaviour contradicted the self talk (eg: if you think you are a bad mum, then find some examples of when you were a good mum).
3.    Find some different explanations for the situation or event. This is not about justification, it is about finding different possibilities. (eg: It could be that the person that yelled at you for something you did was having a bad day and their anger really had nothing to do with you)
4.    Distract yourself from going over and over the bad thoughts. Tie your worries onto a worry tree or a into a worry basket and come back to them later if you really have to. Find other “lighter” thoughts to think about. Listen to music, do some exercise – anything to interrupt the flow of negative thoughts.
5.    Question your underlying beliefs (eg: I must be liked by everyone I meet, I must be completely competant and make no mistakes ever if I am worthwhile, it is easier to put off something unpleasant than deal with it). Underlying beliefs can be hard to shift, but they are not impossible.

So if you really want to be happy in your life, listen to your self talk and take some action.

In the words of Groucho Marx:

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:
‘I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

Julius “Groucho” Marx, 1890-1977

Ingrid Cliff is a [http://www.heartharmony.com.au]Brisbane freelance writer and the Chief Word Wizard of Heart Harmony – her writing services studio that helps put your business into words. Ingrid writes a free weekly newsletter packed full of small business tips to help both you and your business grow [http://www.heartharmony.com.au/index.html]www.heartharmony.com.au.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ingrid_Cliff http://EzineArticles.com/?Happiness-Is-Only-A-Thought-Away&id=1438140

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I tell my sons I love them – probably not nearly enough. I have two wonderful sons that I know I can always count on. They are great fathers to my three grandsons and just plain good men. Both will drop what they’re doing to help a friend and will do without to give to someone in need. Sometime I take it for granted that they know I love them and don’t say it nearly enough.

I have friends that I love dearly and try to let them know that I care but sometimes I forget to tell them that they matter to me, that I love them.

And what about me? I used to think it was wrong to love myself – I was taught that. I have unlearned it, however, and now I try on a daily basis to appreciate me and even say, “I love you, Irene. I’m so glad that I am me.” So I’m a little nuts (or a lot, maybe) but appreciating myself and telling myself so, is a way to keep my level of happiness more constant. It is true that if I don’t love me, it is harder for others to love me.

Love makes the world go around – I want to do my share to keep it spinning.

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Loving and accepting ourselves is critical in experiencing joy, happiness, and success in life.

When you really love yourself and you really love other people, you find that life flows, and no matter what happens you always find a way to enjoy yourself and feel fulfilled.

You MUST love yourself completely.

This determines your STANDARDS for what you are willing to accept or settle for and;

·        How much money you feel you deserve to earn or feel you can make

·        How well you treat your body and your health

·        Your belief in whether you can achieve your goals

·        How much others respect you and how they treat you

·        Whether people like you and want to be around you.

People love being around confident people. They radiate a positive energy. You feel safe around them.

People who lack in confidence often get ‘stuck’. So you see, your entire destiny is shaped by your degree of confidence.

So how is it we end up with low self esteem or lacking in confidence?

The answer is we choose to.

You choose to believe you ‘can’t do this’ or ‘I am not good enough to have that’.

If the parent of a child suffers from low self esteem and lack in confidence, it is very likely the child will grow up with the same behaviour patterns because they have learnt from them. Some may say ‘but I always tell my child how great they are and show them we love them’. The thing is, it’s like when you tell a child not to smoke when you are a chain smoker.

As a child we learn from making mistakes but years and years of reprimanding and verbal /physical abuse can also lead to low confidence and esteem. A parents attempt to control a child’s behavour through physical punishment can also lead to the child growing up fearful of trying something new, just in case it is a mistake.

Your beliefs are established at a young age, where we try to avoid being rejected by our friends or told off by our peers. When young children begin to think ‘there’s something wrong with me’ because they are exploring and making mistakes and being constantly reprimanded the first beliefs begin to take shape.

The truth is, despite what magazines, and T.V try to say (in making you like every one else) you can be individual and self confident. You can learn to live life with a passion and fulfill your dreams.

Before you can change things you need to be aware of what things in your life you want to change and what you no longer wish to put up with. Make a pact with yourself and begin by following these steps, so that when you take control of your life anything is within your reach.

 Self Analysis

Take 1/2hour out of your day and complete this exercise.

 Buy a notebook and:

·        Write down everything you are not happy with.

·        Write down how you can change this.

·        Write down specifically everything you want in your life(goals)

·        What situations make you feel the most angry and frustrated

·       What do you fear most in your life today? What would it mean if this came true?

·        List 5 fears you hold currently hold.

Finish these sentences

‘I like myself least when I ……….

‘I like myself most when I……….            

Now Take Responsibility

Do you have a problem?… Go on face up to it head on and admit you have it.

Like it or not, what ever exists in your life, the good, the bad and the ugly is there because of you. FACT

Through your beliefs, thoughts, choices and actions the situation has come about. (Please never feel like a victim: it is disempowering and will not serve you well) Blaming someone else or relying on them to change their behaviour takes control out of your hands. And where do we want it…yes that right in yours hands.

The good news is… because you made the situation you can get shot of it as well.

When you take responsibility (your choice) and resolve an issue, you also raise your self esteem and confidence. Take one step at a time and gradually move ahead with the things you want to change. Instead of spending 80% of your time focusing on the problem, turn it around and focus 80% on the solution and 20% of the time on the challenge (problem).

Forget the past and focus on the future.

I know it sounds corny but don’t wallow in the guilt or pain of yesterday/year. You can’t change it; all you can do is admit it and take responsibility for it. Once you’ve done that leave it there because it no longer serves you anymore. To stop holding on to the past try this exercise and remember that when doing something that hurts you, is often the point if when you’re growing the most.

How to lose your dirty laundry:

·        Write down 5 reasons you behaved as you did. Understanding ourselves prevents us repeating the action.

·        If you hurt someone and you can still talk to them, acknowledge your behaviour and the consequences of your actions.(take action and feel your self respect grow)

·        Take action to minimize the harm you caused to them. Tell the truth to yourself.

·        Write down who has wronged you in the past

·       Write down with whom you need to ‘finalize’ with. Make a list

·        Write down who you have wronged in the past

·        Write them a letter. Tell them how you feel about it now and what was going on in your life at the time.

I know it sounds a really tough job to do, but isn’t it better to finish this guilt and self limiting thoughts once and for all?

You will see finalizing the past will give you a massive sense of pride and power. You have empowered your LIFE!! The bags you have been carrying from one relationship/situation to another have been laid down!

Move on, FORGIVE yourself. Forgiveness is the key which will help us be happy and content in life. Forgive the past and embrace the future, where you can make a difference.

Only you can decide if you are ready to change, though please remember we come this way but once and…

“The only failure in life is the failure to participate”.

Arran Pullen http://www.coaching4change.co.uk/ I provide an expert coaching service specializing in personal and career changes. Explore what is holding you back from embracing change and develop techniques that will serve you in building stronger relationships and confidence.Visit the above link and find out more about my complimentary taster coaching sessions or download my Free Report on ‘How to supercharge your business’

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Arran_Pullen http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Confidence-and-Esteem—-5-Crucial-Steps&id=1069114

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As well as observing the actions at the Shrine I was also observing the reaction within myself – something I have learned to do over the years. Where do I tighten up and why?
While attending CUA I was in the Catholic Sisterhood but I left a year or so after I got my degree. I just didn’t fit in anymore and, well, that’s another story. I haven’t attended any services at the Catholic Church for over thirty years and I’m not likely to attend in the future.

Several things caught my attention and created a reaction within me.

Pope Benedict spoke of hope, of family, of peace. All good. I felt relaxed, inspired. I am grateful that he came and grateful that he wants to make things better for all people.

He talked about the materialism in society today and it is a real problem from several perspectives. But as he spoke he wore an ermine collar and vestments embroidered in gold. I was reminded of a time as a student when I was part of the choir for a solemn High Mass for a congregation of the American Cardinals who had assembled there for their annual meeting. They walked down the aisle in procession wearing their ermine capes and elegant gemstone rings, in quite a show of pomp, and circumstance and a display of riches. This was in one of the poorer neighborhoods of D.C. A strange contrast. An interesting processional for a group who had taken vows of poverty. It made my flesh crawl and my stomach roll.

He spoke of the sexual abuse of children by priests and how abhorrent it is. Everything in me tightened up at that time as I thought of how long it took for anything to be done about it. Way too little and way too late. Abhorrent, indeed. I thought of how many millions of dollars was spent on legal fees defending the priests and their actions. I recalled how a group of nuns was turned out of their Phoenix convent because the diocese needed the money to pay for those legal fees. I thought of the abuse of power over the ages, the accumulated wealth of the church, the “chain of command” to get to God. Even my heart hurt. Why didn’t he become very vocal and take stringent action much, much sooner?

He encouraged Catholics to come back to the Church and spoke of how everyone needed church. I tightened up. I had a knot in my stomach and my neck muscles became rigid. While the church feeds many spiritually,  it just isn’t right for me.

When it was over, I sat for awhile and reflected. I realized how blessed I am. I am aware of The kingdom of God within me. I run pure Source energy through my being. I can speak to the Divine directly. I listen to my own heart about what is right or wrong for me and I don’t need someone telling me what to believe or think. Church, for me, is a matter of the heart and not of a building or an organization. It is not dogma or doctrine handed down and changed through the centuries but a daily walk down a spiritual path and getting guidance each step of the way. I am one with them but that does not mean that we have to be exactly the same in belief.

I believe there is a hierarchy of needs  -  maybe not just the way Abraham Maslow defined them but still a range. And in relation to the Spirit some need the structure of the church and some do not. For most of my life I was “churched.” I needed it then. Now I delight in getting together with others who meditate and work with energy, who can send love out in such a powerful way that it is physically palpable, who have spiritual gifts that help and uplift all around them, who love and worship in a way that is real to them and allow others to do the same.

What I need to know and live by is that God is Love – that there is only God and I am one with All That Is. This is the bedrock of all self improvement.

1. I have peace.
2. I have hope.
3. I have freedom.

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Giving unconditional love requires you to love without any expectations. It seems difficult to only love and not demand anything in return in today’s world where everyone is selfish and egotistic. But even in this world we see many examples of unconditional love, for example the love a mother gives to her child, the love between two life partners and the love bestowed upon siblings. To love unconditionally you will have to learn to sacrifice your self, your desires, and most importantly your ego. Let’s find out how to love unconditionally and give happiness to a person without demanding anything in return.

First of all you have to remember that you are not supposed to expect anything from the person you love. It’s true that love makes its way itself. When you love somebody with so much passion and ardor, it’s sure to come round in one way or another. But if somehow you don’t get as much as you give, don’t complain or argue. Always keep in mind that loving others and giving them everything you have will make you satisfied and happy with yourself.

You need to develop a strong will power to be able to love unconditionally. At some point in our lives we all demand some kind of love and want to express our own love for someone. Believe in the principle of giving more and demanding less. When someone asks you for a favor always be ready to give it. Never complain that you don’t have enough or you have other tasks to do. Set your priorities in such a way that everyone else comes first and your own demands come last.

When you love somebody unconditionally you want the best for that person. Think positively about them even if they make mistakes or do not return your feelings. Give them sincere advice about their future and other decisions. Always look around for the betterment of your loved ones without any envy on your part. If you have to sacrifice something of your own for them, don’t hesitate to do so. Only then you will truly be able to love unconditionally.

Remember that unconditional love is given without any expectations or limitations. You don’t define any scope of your love or that how long will you love a person. This is an eternal feeling which should be kept alive in all circumstances and all situations. Never lose hope and keep on loving people who are dear and close to you, only then you will be able to live a completely satisfied and emotionally balanced life.

DatingShare.com is 100% [http://www.datingshare.com]free dating site and matchmaking service for singles. Plus provides free [http://forums.datingshare.com]dating forum with dating tips and [http://www.relationshipsafe.com]relationship advice.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=George_Wood http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Love-Unconditionally&id=287070

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By Irene Conlan -

Several people have asked me why I don’t pick a topic and give you a bunch of pointers on how to achieve your goal. For example, “Ten Ways to Stop Procrastination,” or “Becoming a Top Speaker in 5 Easy Steps or “6 Ways to Be More Loveable.” The answer? I could do that and it probably wouldn’t get you far if you followed it. I’m not saying that lists of “how tos” never work. I’m saying that improvement is an inside job wrapped around liking who you are. As you begin to accept yourself like you are right now and love and respect that self, many of the things that you’ve been trying to work on either improve or are no loger an issue.

One of the key ingredients in self improvement and self acceptance is a sense of humor. God knows that we humans are a funny bunch and we might as well get a good laugh now and then from it – even at our own expense.  I look at myself and think of the tag line for some children’s toys, “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” I look like a weeble but I do fall down.  I need to be about seven feet tall to balance out my weight. I am past middle age and gravity has most certainly taken over, dragging body parts down where they’re not supposed to be. I look at women who have tiny waistlines and remember – well, sometimes, I remember. I forget a lot and often that’s a good thing.

I have made mistakes and have had deep and hearty laughs about most of them. I came to my mid-fifties beaten up by a failed marriage that made me wonder if I had even minimal self worth, if I could accomplish anything worthwhle. Now I find humor even there. It was in my finding the funny and the human in me, balancing my humanity with my spirituality, and helping others discover the wonderfulness in themselves that I began to see the depth of my own value, my richness as a human being.

So take a look at yourself. It’s o.k. to giggle a bit or laugh out loud. Let it ripple throughout your being. Get over the judgment of yourself. Get over the fact that you are not perfect and begin to love who you are.

To help you loosen up and get a good laugh, even if you aren’t a middle aged woman, turn up your sound and click the link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1TVOXdNkFo

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