By Allison Maslan -

“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
~Henry David Thoreau

In this Blast Off Ezine, I will lay out the process of manifesting the relationship of your dreams whether you are in search of your soulmate or want to dramatically improve the relationship you are already in. I walked these step to draw in my soulmate, and not only did we meet two months after I began using these principles, we married one year later.

I have worked these steps and ideals successfully with many clients since then. To this day I have men and women that come in to my office each week telling me their wonderful soulmate stories after using this powerful process to invite in true love.

To begin with, we hear the term soulmate, but what does that mean exactly?

The literal translation would be a companion of one’s soul. Our soul is the deeper essence or core of who we are. So a soulmate is one that connects with us or loves us at the heart and spirit of our existence.

Some people believe that we have only one soul mate in a lifetime, while others feel that we can have several over a long period of time. Personally, I believe some people come to us to impact our lives with lessons or a new awareness, or to bring love for a brief span of time. Other relationships will endure for a lifetime. We may have many possibilities to create a deep and fulfilling relationship with a partner but miss out because we dwelling on our past grief and resentment, or as the saying goes, we are just too blind to see.
To find this soul-matched partner or deepen the relationship you are already in, the change must first come within you.

Whether you have had many good, but not great relationships, or found partners that have not treated you well, been emotionally unavailable or simply too dull, the common denominator in all of these scenarios, I must report, is you. I do not mean to sound harsh, but this is a somber reality that I had to face in my own life. This does not mean that if you had changed in some way that these relationships would have worked. Rather, you may have had the awareness early on that they were not your right match and had chosen instead to pass. (Round peg, square hole concept.) On a positive note, there is no wasted experience because we do grow with each challenge. It is when we keep choosing those same pain and heartache that we may not be growing enough to make a difference. I am here to share ways to alleviate the pain and heartache and make a straight pathway to love and companionship.

When you finally become really clear about who you are, and what you want and need in a partner and in a relationship, and you are not willing to settle for less, you will begin to draw in ‘like souls’ that will complement and spice up your life, rather than bring you down or hold you back.

Leave the Past in the Past

One of the biggest roadblocks in creating a soul-matched relationship is that we tend to bring our pain and baggage from past relationships into our present ones, and even into our search for the right one. If you have been hurt in the past, it is understandable that you may have developed issues with trust and confidence in your subsequent partners. The fact is that no partner is the same. Even though you may be holding onto past traumas or disappointments, this does not mean that every partner to follow will behave in this same way. There is a tendency to project, or put onto other people, the fear, grief or resentment of our past. When in reality, this person does not represent those things at all. However, because you may believe this to be true because of your history, your fear and behavior around this issue may bring the worst out of someone you love.

The result is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy, in that we end up bringing upon ourselves what we fear most. For instance, if you have fear of abandonment and you hang onto someone too tightly because you are afraid they will leave, they may end up leaving because they feel smothered by you. Another example would be that because you are afraid your love will leave you, you may subconsciously choose people that have commitment issues, just to prove to yourself that, yes, they will abandon you. Sounds crazy, right? Well it happens all the time.

When we start a relationship with clean slate, it will have a much higher chance of flourishing with much less grief and discord.

Blast Off Practice #1 Write Off The Past

Please write out the emotions and traumas that you have experienced in past relationships that you do not want to bring into your new or current relationship.

You can list these on your Blastation in one of your Sun-Up Script pages.

By looking at these issues in writing, it helps to separate them from yourself, and then it is easier to become an observer rather than wearing this trauma on your sleeves.

When we can see our partner with 20/20 vision rather than looking through clouded lenses from the past, we will feel much freer to be the best partner possible. The result, we also draw in and receive the same positive, loving energy in return.

Blast Off Practice #2 Open Your Heart To Love

Now click on the Relationship page on your Blastation to do the Open Heart Meditation. In this exercise, you will focus, visualize and feel your heart open to receive love, and at the same time let go of the past hurts and disappointments.

Visualize and feel all the feelings and hurts on your list in Blast Off Practice #1 dissolving into thin air. Repeat this daily and experience the powerful sense of relief in letting go and the welling up of love that begins to enter your world.

It is not that you won’t remember any of these grieves, you are just choosing not going to give them continual power over you and your present and future opportunities for great love.

Now that you have been releasing the past and anything that can get in the way of creating a new and deeper relationship, it is time to get really clear on what you actually do want in your relationships.

Blast Off Practice #3 Soulmate Shopping List

In your ultimate relationship, how do you envision it to be? What would it be like to share a life with this person? What kinds of activities or interests would you want to share together? How would you treat one another? What would the experience be like, look like, and feel like with your dream partner?

Go to the Relationship page on your Blastation and scroll down to click on “Create Your Soulmate Shopping List.”

Make a list of all the things you want in a partner and a relationship. Ask yourself, “What are the important values that you live your life by. What are the activities you love to have in your life?” Wouldn’t it be nice to attract a partner that shares these same ideals and interests? This doesn’t mean you need to find someone exactly like you, but sharing some commonality in what brings joy into one another’s lives does make the journey less tumultuous and more gratifying.

Write what you do want, rather than what you do not want in a partner and relationship. Be as detailed and as honest with yourself as possible. What was missing in past relationships that you truly desire? When you are complete, print this page out so you can review it fory our next practice.
Blast Off Practice #4 Your Soulmate Statement

Go to the Big Picture Vision page on your Blastation and create your Soulmate Statement which is your Big Picture Vision regarding your relationship. Create a title that sums up your dream relationship, such as: The Love of My Life or, My Fun and Funny Partner, etc…

Now write the story of your relationship as you truly desire it to be. Write it as if you are in the present moment, as if it is happening now.

This will make your vision as real as possible. In this way, your intention is clear and powerful. Once you have written it, it becomes real, not a mere fantasy in your head.

Don’t forget to write out how you are feeling during the relationship experience and what is most important to you in this relationship. Write all the things you two are doing and sharing to your heart’s content.

Now upload photos that would represent this dream relationship. They can be pictures that represent activities you want to share or places you would love to visit with your soulmate. If you are already in your relationship, upload your favorite photos of you and your partner.

Now that you have created this story, bring this partner and relationship into your space.

If you are already with your partner, and you want to create a deeper bond, the same steps apply. Read your Soulmate Statement every morning and night. (If they are next to you, you may want to do this when you have more privacy.) Visualize this story as if it is real and happening right now. Feel your partner with you at times during the day as if he/she is sharing your life with you in the way it matters most.

If you are with your ideal partner already and may be having some difficult issues you are trying to work through, this process is effective because you are focusing on what you do want, rather than what is wrong. By seeing and feeling what you do want, you are bringing that positive energy in and around you. This positive frequency will attract more of the same from your partner.

Blast Off Practice #5 Set The Date

Okay. You know what you want, so lets make it real! Make a real commitment to yourself and your partner by setting a date for this new love to appear. If you are in search of your soulmate, once you have created this vision, choose a date for our dream partner to appear. Give yourself enough time so that you can work on creating this intention on a regular basis. I began doing this in June of 2005 and I met my husband in August of 2005.

Time to set the date:

Once you choose a date, tell someone close to you that is supportive and open minded the deadline date your soulmate will be arriving by. E-mail them or write it down so that your intent and commitment is strong and clear. If you are already in your relationship, write your partner a letter of your commitment and what positive intention you are committing to bring into the relationship from here on out. You can give this letter to your partner, or put it away until a later time. Your intention in writing, followed by action will bring uplifting movement and change. Rather than writing what you want or expect from them, write what you taking responsibility for and what you plan to change or improve on your end. Your partner is much more likely to respond in a similar manner if they feel free to act from a place of choice, rather than guilt or demand.

This process is spelled out in much greater detail in my book, Blast Off, The Surefire Success Plan to Launch Your Dreams into Reality.

Blast Off Practice #6 Launch Your Love into Action

You are letting go of the past, you have gained clarity about what you want in a partner and relationship, you are visualizing this dream partner right into your life and have set the date. Now it is time to take action.

Action Step #1: Believe this to be true. You may be saying it on the outside, but your energy field is saying, “Yeah right.” Do what you can to shift inner thoughts so that they are in sync with your outer behavior.

(Mental Mania exercise on the Spiritual Page is a good exercise to help with any negative thoughts.)

Action Step #2: Put yourself out there. Hiding out at home will limit your options unless you end up hooking up with the UPS man or woman.

Find out what activities are going on around town. Look online or in your local paper. There are many great places to meet new people. And if you don’t meet your partner, you may make some great connections for work or new friends to hang out with. Here are some places to frequent to raise up your soulmate meeting ratio :

• Take a class in something you are interested in. (art, karate, golf, poetry reading, tango dancing…
• Join a running or biking club.
• Go to a business or hobby networking group.
• Ask for help from someone you find intriguing while you are shopping or out and about.
• Get on a dating site. (I met my husband on Match.com and he lived 2 blocks from me. We may have never met)
• Tell your friends and co-workers you are on a mission to find your soulmate. This will help them to keep an eye out for Mr. or Ms. Possibility.
• Look at people in the eye, smile and say hello to everyone you pass by in your day. Not only is this uplifting for you and the other person, you are opening yourself up to some wonderful connections.

And finally, remember, you deserve love and you deserve to be happy. Do not settle for the wrong match because you feel no one better will come along.
“You don’t marry someone you can live with — You marry the person you cannot live without.”
~Unknown

Note: If you have not experienced Blastation and would like to do the exercises in this article, click the Blastation icon in the right column and get a free one month trial.