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How to Improve Your Mental and Physical Well-Being

August 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment

happy girlBy David Brenowitz and Roz Brenowitz -

With everything that is going on in todays’ world and with so many people having tough times, it is very hard to find the mental strength to do what is necessary to go forward.

But as a people, we are very resilient, and we can do whatever it takes. We must continue to press forward. It is very easy to let that negative little person that sits on your shoulder take over your mind.

You need to find away to tell him you are in control and “take a seat in the back.”

Here are few helpful tips that you can implement, for both your physical and mental well-being.

1) Exercise daily. Find the time to take care of your body and your mind will benefit, as well. (Instead of starting your day watching “CNN” (Constant Negative News), pump yourself up with exercise and watch your attitude improve, too.

2) You must think positive thoughts, no matter what your situation is. Remember, it can always be worse. Push yourself to think positively, no matter what it takes.

3) Listen to relaxing music that puts your mind in another place.

4) Find somebody that you can talk to, whether it is a professional or just a friend or family member. (Sometimes just “venting” helps.)

5) Read a good “self-help” book. There are hundreds of them out there. (You can get great recommendations from friends…just make sure you ask someone who is successful!)

6) Keep a daily journal. When you find yourself overwhelmed with life, write down your thoughts and feelings.

Just remember, you have to change yourself before you can change your life.

The purpose of life, is a life with purpose.– Robert Byrne

David Brenowitz is a baby boomer who has recently turned his life around by changing his occupation. He has become an internet marketer, after many years of being in traditional brick and mortar business. He works with his wife, Roz, out of their home in Scottsdale, Arizona.

To learn more about Roz and David Brenowitz, go to:
http://www.onlinesystempros.com

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Happiness Doesn’t Just Happen – It Requires Love

August 23, 2010 By Leave a Comment

heartBy Barry R Parker -

Whether you realize it or not, almost everything you do is directed at trying to increase your happiness. When you select a mate, buy a house or a car, or even a new hat, you are hoping that they will make you happier. Strangely, though, despite all the hope and effort that is directed at happiness, few people are truly happy. A survey taken in 2004 showed that less than 30% consider themselves very happy.

Why is there so much unhappiness? Where does it come from? We are not born unhappy; young children are usually quite happy. The truth is: we learn how to be unhappy as we grow up and grow older. Most of our unhappiness is “manufactured;” it’s a result of our thinking. This is a pity, since life already comes with many problems — why do we have to add to them with manufactured unhappiness.

Happiness is important to everybody, and everybody strives for it, and it is good for you in so many ways: we think better, feel better, perform better, and are healthier when we are happy. So people want it. But happiness doesn’t “just happen.” You have to work at it.

Many things are needed for happiness, but three basic things are so overwhelming that without them you cannot be happy. They are:

  • Someone to love
  • Something to do that you really love
  • Something to look forward to

It’s important to note the “love” is mentioned in two of them, and they are the reason that love is needed for happiness. Let’s look at each of them.

Somebody to Love

It’s well-known that people are happier, amd in most cases they are healthier, when they have someone to love. This doesn’t mean just a spouse, or girlfriend or boyfriend; it also includes children, grandchildren, and friends. And it can also include pets. Most happy people have strong ties to family and friends. People with no ties are, in fact, frequently lonesome, and many develop depression. Being around people almost always lifts your spirits; most people are happier when they’re with somebody.

So love is important in relation to happiness, but it must be a reciprocal relation. A one-way relationship won’t necessarily bring unhappiness, but it is much less satisfactory.

Closely associated with love is “being needed.” People are also happy when they feel they are needed. Being needed gives life more meaning, and it gives you a feeling of satisfaction and confidence.

Something To Do That You Love

This is also sometimes referred to as “engagement,” and it refers to your depth of involvement with your work, hobbies and even your family. Being involved,and enjoying what you do — or more to the point — loving what you do, is also critical for happiness. It’s important to keep busy, but this is more than merely keeping busy. This is loving what you do, and the best way to achieve it is to set goals and work towards them. People are happiest when they have goals, and while they are trying to achieve them there is little time to get bored. People who are frequently bored, and have little to do, soon become dissatified, which quickly leads to unhappiness.

With goals, you are always thinking about them, so your thoughts are always positive. Furthermore, thinking about what lies at the end of the rainbow when you achieve your goals always gives you a good feeling

Something To Look Forward To

If you have goals you will obviously have something to look forward to, and having something to look forward to is the same as having hope for the future. And no one can be truly happy without hope. Furthermore, hope gives you enthusiasm, which in turn, makes you feel alive, vital and energetic. Indeed, when you have something to look forward to each day, you wake up in the morning filled with energy and enthusiasm — sure the day is going to be a great one. This is the kind of feeling you want.

Making it Happen

Now that we know the three major things that give happiness, how do you make it happen? You can’t just hope it will happen, and you can’t suddenly just “decide” to be happy, and expect success. You have to take action.

Lincoln once said, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” There is a grain of truth in this, but merely “making up your mind” won’t make you happy unless you do something about it. But happiness is, indeed, produced by thoughts and attitudes. So one of the first things you’re going to have to do is deal with them.

Let’s begin by listing the traits of a happy person. (We’ll start with the three above.)

  1. Has someone to love.
  2. Has a feeling of complete engagement in his work and so on. In fact, he loves it.
  3. Looks forward to the future.
  4. Is at peace with himself.
  5. Has a passion for life.
  6. Feels gratitude.
  7. Takes pleasure in small things.

I’m expanding on the first three here, but for the most part, the last four result when you have the first three. They are a dividend. When you have the first three you are certainly at peace with yourself. You have no inner turmoil; you’re not fighting the world — you accept it, and you feel great. You have a passion for life, and you feel energetic, vital and alive. Life has meaning. You are grateful for, and appreciative of all the things you have. You are continually thinking about how lucky you are — not bemoaning the fact that you’re not rich, or have a few aches and pains. You’re grateful for your health, your financial security, your family, your friends and all the material things you have. Finally, you take pleasure in small things: sunsets, rainbows, beautiful flowers, music, and even the tiny grains of sand on the beach.

So, how do you achieve all this? According to Norman Vincent Peale: “You keep your heart free from hate, mind free from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Fill your life with love. Forget yourself, think of others.”

This is, indeed, good advice, and I’d have a hard time improving on it. The first thing you have to remember, though, is that happiness (or unhappiness) is a result of your thoughts and attitude. So change them if you have to. A few other things that will help are:

  1. Keep the three things I mentioned at the beginning of the article in mind, and strive to achieve them.
  2. Keep the seven traits of a happy person in mind. Think about them and try to emulate them.
  3. Act happy — smile whenever possible.
  4. Get enough sleep
  5. Set goals and strive to accomplish them.
  6. Cultivate close relationships. They are critical for happiness.
  7. Accept the fact that life isn’t fair. Everyone is dealt a different hand at birth. Make the most of the one you were dealt.
  8. You can’t be happy if you are not relaxed. So, relax.
  9. Take care of your body. If you don’t, you may get aches and pains that can make you miserable.
  10. And alway s remember: Happiness requires love

Barry Parker, Ph. D., is a professor emeritus (physics) at Idaho State University. He is the author of 25 books on science, health, writing, and music. His website is http://BarryParkerbooks.com and he has several blogs, one of them is at http://Barrysbuzz123.blogspot.com He has done research in biophysics (mutations in the DNA molecule) and in relativity theory (Einstein’s field theory), has a strong interest in health and fitness, self-improvement, and in music (particularly piano). He taught a writing class at ISU for several years. One of his recent books is “Feel Great Feel Alive.”

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Health Tips – The Top 5 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Health

August 20, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Amber Keinath – Senior couple on cycle ride

Are you finding that you are overwhelmed with the flood of health information about intensive workouts or diets? Improving your health does not have to involve going on a diet and an intense workout at the gym. You can make just small changes with certain lifestyle decisions throughout the day that can have a huge impact on your overall health status.

5 steps increase your overall health:

1. Drink more water. Your body is mostly water so what do you think your cells are mostly composed of? Water! If you give your body what it needs, imagine how your body will feel! This change alone can play a huge role in your health and well-being. Drinking water instead of soda or fruit drinks may increase your energy level, increase your feelings of being full which can decrease your calorie intake, decrease headaches, increase ability to sleep, and decrease sugar cravings.

2. Experiment with new fruits and vegetables. There are so many different fruits and vegetables to choose from that there is no way possible that you could get bored with all the different tastes and combinations you can make with what is available. Check out your local farmers market for produce that is locally grown meaning they have traveled less food miles. Recent studies have shown that as produce travels longer distances, it loses its nutrient value. So get the best nutrition for your buck and buy from farmers markets. Eating more fruits and vegetables can help with weight loss, increase energy, and feeling full faster and longer than with processed foods.

3. Increase your physical activity. This does not mean you have to join a gym and start an intense workout! Little changes throughout the day can benefit your health in dramatic ways. Activities such as going for a walk, playing outside with your kids, dancing, taking the stairs instead of the elevator can all count for physical activity. Even housework counts! Getting physical activity can increase your energy level, increase your desire for healthier eating, and increase your ability to sleep at night. So get moving!

4. Find enjoyment in your work. Is your career lined up with your passions, goals, and values? If not, it might be a great time to find something you enjoy doing. There are so many ways to work in this day that you can find a way to earn money doing what you love! Wouldn’t it be great to love what you are doing and get up in the morning excited about your work? By finding enjoyment in your work you can decrease your stress, decrease you blood pressure, increase your overall energy level, and love life! What is your passion!

5. Take time to unwind and relax! We all have stressors in our lives that can affect the body with many physical problems. So stress management is vital! By dealing with stress appropriately you can decrease blood pressure, re-energize, increase ability to sleep, and help you deal with what life brings to you! So, take a bath, a walk, do yoga or meditation, laugh!

Do something great for your health! These 5 things will all add to an overall sense of well-being that can translate to all areas of your life! Here’s to your health!

Amber Keinath is an Online Marketing Coach, Social Media Specialist, and Health Coach. Learn how you can generate 25-30 new leads for you business every day by learning more about blog for your network marketing business and other marketing strategies.

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Change Your Attitude – Turning Adversity Into Opportunity

August 18, 2010 By Leave a Comment

a18By Bill Hogg -

Despite the doom and gloom of today’s economic downturn, smart leaders look to history for learning. History tells us that now is not the time to cut important foundational programs, but to leverage current conditions for competitive advantage so they emerge from this economic downturn better positioned for success.

One area that seems to be under pressure is workforce size and employee engagement. Many firms will cut back in this area; some will see this as an opportunity to strengthen their teams through strategic hiring, downsizing and internal communications.

In these times of uncertainty, it is especially important to go above and beyond to strengthen employee engagement. Leaders may set the direction, but employees make things happen, including building and maintaining competitive advantage. Happy, engaged employees aligned with your corporate values, goals and strategy produce amazing results. A culture of pride of ownership permeates the entire organization and results in better products, better customer service and better business results.

The first step (and arguably the most important) is communicate, communicate, communicate. Don’t sit in your office and send out e-mails; walk around and reach out to folks personally, and coach your managers to follow your lead. Really talk to employees about what is going on – and listen to what they say; it’s amazing what you can learn from them.

If you don’t already regularly survey your employees, it’s a good idea to have a confidential employee survey program to get the feedback you can’t get in person. These can be set up easily using free online survey tools.

However, to be effective, you must act on the results and communicate early and often that you plan to do so. And remember that this is not a once-and-done process.

Your customers and distributors also need reassurance in these difficult times. Making an effort to connect with them now will pay dividends over the long term. Brand loyalty leads to competitive advantage, and customer loyalty boils down to excellent customer service, which enables trust and confidence. Now is the time to reach out and communicate.

Leverage technology tools to enhance regular ongoing communication. Electronic newsletters, wikis and blogs are powerful ways to regularly update your employees, customers and distributors and get their feedback. Streaming video and podcast updates about how you are weathering the storm also are excellent tools.

Look for quick wins that will serve customers and stimulate sales in the current economy. Are there new products with lower pricing you could offer? Would a review of their current services to ensure they are maximizing any discounts or product combinations make sense? These initiatives demonstrate you appreciate their situation and the lower margin pain you feel now will be rewarded when customers come back for your products and services when things turn around. Plus they are a great opportunity to talk to your customers and potentially identify issues before they consider moving their business elsewhere.

Also, make sure you employees are ready to respond with a higher level of empathy and support for the customer. Now is not the time to offer bad customer service, as emotions are running high and customers will vote with their feet.

Times may be difficult, but regular, meaningful ongoing communication will ensure everyone is focused on the goals of the organization and working in the same direction.

Bill’s passion is improving business results by working with leadership teams to change employee behaviors. He does this by equipping leaders with the principles, processes and tools to cultivate and influence an engaged customer-focused culture that recognizes improved performance and productivity.

As well, he is a dynamic, results-oriented speaker on the importance of a customer-focused culture, either as a guest speaker or acting as a facilitator of a group discussion/workshop.

For additional information on consulting or speaking opportunities please visit online at http://www.billhogg.ca or
bill@billhogg.ca

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Loneliness Linked To Increased Risk Of Alzheimer’s Disease

August 17, 2010 By Leave a Comment

depressionBy Toby Roberts -

People who feel lonely may be twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease in their later years as those who feel they have a close network of friends and family, researchers report. The findings appeared in the Archives of General Psychiatry, a mental health journal from the American Medical Association.

Earlier research has linked social isolation to an increased risk for dementia. People with a limited social network, those who do not get married, and individuals who participate in few activities with others all appear to be at higher risk for dementia.

“In contrast, little is known about the association of dementia with emotional isolation, or loneliness, which refers to perceived social isolation and feeling disconnected from others–that is, to dissatisfaction with social interactions, rather than their absence,” the authors write.

Study leader Dr. Robert S. Wilson, from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, and colleagues analyzed the association between loneliness and Alzheimer’s disease in 823 seniors (average age of 80). At the start of the study, all the participants filled out questionnaires to assess feelings of loneliness. They filled out similar surveys two years later, and again two years after that. Loneliness was measured on a scale of one to five, with higher scores indicating a greater degree of loneliness. Those in the study also underwent extensive testing for problems with thinking, learning, and memory, symptoms that might indicate the presence of Alzheimer’s disease.

At the first examination, participants’ average loneliness score was 2.3. During the study period, 76 of the seniors were given a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. The risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease increased by over 50 percent for each point on the loneliness score, so that a person with a high loneliness score (3.2) had about 2.1 times the risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease than a person with a low score (1.4). Feeling lonely was linked to a higher Alzheimer’s risk, even after researchers considered such factors as a small social network and infrequent social activities.

Autopsies were performed on 90 seniors who died during the study. Curiously, feeling lonely during life was not related to any of the hallmark brain changes associated with Alzheimer’s disease, such as plaques and tangles or other damage in the brain.

Scientists are unsure why or how loneliness may be linked to dementia. Because loneliness levels remained relatively stable during the course of the study, even in people who were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, it seems unlikely that loneliness is caused by dementia, the researchers note.

“In human beings, loneliness has been associated with impaired social skills,” they write. “Thus, neural systems underlying social behavior might be less elaborated in lonely persons.” As a result, they speculate, the brains of lonely people may be less able to compensate for the onslaughts of a disease like Alzheimer’s.

Still, this does not rule out the possibility that individuals who experience the early stages of cognitive decline may become lonely due to the isolating effects of mental decline. The authors of the study call for further research to investigate these and other possibilities.

Alzheimer’s is a complex disease that likely has a variety of causes. The genes you inherit, advancing age, exercise habits, the foods you eat, and myriad other factors may all influence who develops Alzheimer’s in old age, and who remains mentally sharp and alert. The Fisher Center for Alzheimer’s Research Foundation continues to fund critical research into the underlying causes of Alzheimer’s, care of the disease, and the search for a cure. To learn more, visit alzinfo.org, The Alzheimer’s Information Site.

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More Exercise Means Less Stress

August 16, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Pedal PowerBy Susan Kersley -

Stress is a reaction to things happening in your life and as a result you experience a ‘fight or flight’ reaction by more adrenaline being produced in your blood to enable you to react primitively to the stress by running away from, or staying where you are and fighting the perceived danger.

Taking regular aerobic exercise is one of the most valuable things you can do to feel less stressed. Since when you are stressed you produce adrenaline so that, in times gone by, you would have been prepared for either flight or fright. Nowadays it may not be practical or even desirable to react this way the internal reaction to stress happens anyway and as a result you may notice your heart beating faster, your rapid breathing and not be aware that there are also internal reactions such as increased blood sugar and raised blood pressure. This means that your body is actually geared up for exercise when you become aware of how stressed you feel. If you understand this then you can relieve your stress if, as soon as it’s convenient, you take a brisk walk, jog, swim, dance or whatever other vigorous exercise you prefer.

Although you may be used to putting up with whatever it may be that has caused the reaction. However the chemicals are still there and one of the best ways to get rid of the feeling of stress is to do some vigorous exercise. Doing this will get rid of the adrenaline and also produces another chemical called endorphin which has a calming effect on your mood. Therefore exercise is an ideal way to manage on going stress, not only at the time when you feel stressed but as a way of preventing or decreasing the amount of stress you experience. You should plan to exercise at least three times a week, though ideally thirty minutes most days will be very beneficial for your health and well-being and reduce your levels of stress.

Not only will your stress decrease but your general sense of health and well being will increase making you into a happier and healthier person too. When you are feeling good about yourself and about life you will be better able to take a look at what is going on in your life more objectively and discover for yourself what need to change, if anything, for you to enjoy your life much more.

More ways to deal with stress and change your life in free report with 15 ways to change from http://www.youcanchangeyourlife.co.uk Susan Kersley retired doctor and Life Coach, works with and writes personal development books for doctors: http://www.thedoctorscoach.co.uk

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Laugh a Lot!

August 12, 2010 By Leave a Comment

man laughingBy Rob Adelphia -

Hey Friends, life is short. Laugh…a lot.

At what point was it decided to suppress laughter and leave it to the little people? We take us way too serious. Do you find yourself covering your mouth or stifling a laugh? Cut it out (you can’t cut it out!).

Afford yourself the luxury of hearty extended laughter at least twice a day and several short bursts throughout the day. This is one instance where letting it all hang out is permissible and legal. This is not only enjoyable but healthy also.

Here are just a few benefits of laughter:

An excellent means of fighting stress. Laughter decreases stress hormones and we know that stress is linked to all sorts of health woes.

Studies have shown the ability to use humor can raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies and boost levels of immune cells at the same time.

Laughter is able to trigger the releasing of endorphins (your body’s natural feel-good neurotransmitters). Endorphins can temporarily relieve pain and promote an overall sense of well-being.

Laughter can help protect against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems by increasing (and maintaining) blood flow. The endothelium (inner lining of the walls of your arteries) plays a vital role in blood flow maintenance by regulating the diameter of the blood vessels. Endothelium damage is a factor in cardiovascular diseases. Stress seems to narrow the endothelium while laughing expands it. Laughing helps keep your artery walls fit, helping to maintain good blood flow.

Laughter can be shared or done solo. Laughter is contagious and when shared can bind people, increasing happiness and intimacy (physical and emotional).

Laughter has a way of lifting spirits and making burdens a bit lighter, helping us to forget tensions in our busy daily lives.

It is a great way to workout! Now, it won’t replace the gym altogether, but, hearty laughter can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on a rowing machine or an exercise bike. Feel those burning abs!

Laughing can improve your social life. People are eager to share a joke or humorous story with someone they know will laugh. We are drawn to funny folks and those that enjoy a good laugh. Who wants to talk to a grumpy and have their day impaired? Maybe you could share one with a grumpy and improve their day instead.

Smiling increases your face value!

No, life is not all fun and games, but we need to afford ourselves the necessities (notice I didn’t write luxuries) that can be had. Laughter is easily attained even if you’re a grumpy who wants to change.

Here are some ideas for you to get abdominal hurting, red-faced blissful laughter:

My favorite place is the library (free, free, free). Movies, books, and especially audio tapes and cd’s. Most of us spend considerable time in our cars. It truly can be a university on wheels. I split time with educational, motivational, and hysterical. From some gifted speakers, you get all three. And, you can’t hardly take so-and-so seriously for cutting you off while laughing your head off. It doesn’t seem quite so serious an offense.

Take a loved one to a funny play, movie or to a comedy club.

Call a funny person you know that is sure to make you laugh.

Internet. This is one of my least favorites because of the many distractions. Implement discipline so that if you are only looking for a good laugh, you do not get sidetracked on some news story that will have the opposite effect. Stick with a winner to avoid surfing.

Go to a barbecue or party.

You deserve a good laugh today (and tomorrow). Indulge in laughter for your health, your spirit, for you.

Alas, this wouldn’t be complete without sharing one of my favorite jokes.

There was a young boy working in the produce section of a grocery store, while he was working an elderly lady walked up to him and said, “Hey sonny, could you get me a half of a head of lettuce?” The boy responded, “No ma’am, we don’t sell those.” The woman said, “Could you cut me half of a head of lettuce because I’m only going to use half of a head so I don’t want to waste the other half. So, please cut me half.” So the boy finally agreed realizing she wouldn’t take no for an answer. He went in the back and started cutting the head of lettuce in half when his manager walks in and asks, “What are you doing?” The boy said “There is a crazy old lady out there who only wants half of a head of lettuce.” The boy turned around and the old lady was standing right there behind him so the boy said quickly, “And this nice lady wants the other half!” The next day the boss calls the boy into his office and says, “Son, that was the quickest thinking I’ve ever seen! Where are you from?” The boy said, “Buffalo, New York home of ugly women and hockey players.” The boss said “I’ll have you know my wife is from Buffalo!” The boy said, “What hockey team did she play for?”

Share your laugh today with someone in need of a good one. Laugh today.

Rob is a motivational teacher. His goal is that you would live your life out loud! He is always looking for another adventure. He’s been skydiving, bungee jumping, triking, white water rafting, hiked Mt. Elbert and has dressed as a nun for Halloween.

His website is http://www.todayhaspower.com

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Dating After Divorce – 5 Tips on Avoiding Heartache

August 11, 2010 By Leave a Comment

coupleBy Deborah Banks -

There is never a lack of information on how to work out relationship problems. Most people miss the fact, these problems could have been avoided in the first place. So if you are single or divorced and you are looking at having a new relationship, you stand a better chance of avoiding heartache if you use these tips.

Be Rational

There is no such thing as love at first sight. You might be attracted to someone. And it is alright to work towards a connection. But it is emotionally reckless, to say you are in love with someone you don’t know.

If you feel attracted to someone, always question the reasons why. You can never have a good reason if you just met him. A strong attraction will make you less cautious. Think with your head and not your hormones.

Forget the Fantasies

When it comes to deciding on the man we want to attract, most women fantasize. Physical attributes and the color of his money account may count for something. But his character comes across as far more important if avoiding another round of heartache seems important to you.

Spend less time, trying to make yourself excessively attractive and find what really attracts you in a man. When you go for the macho man and complain about him making a poor show of his feelings, you only have yourself to blame. So choose wisely.

Read the Signs

Women complain about bad relationships. And go ahead and enter yet another one. Get that poor taste of men out your mouth. Learn to read the signs. And recognize the red flags. If you are observant and not caught up in attraction, you can read the signs and see if someone is an alcoholic, cheater or woman-beater.

Learn to beat a hasty retreat before you get seriously involved.

Know Your Buttons

If it is important to enter a relationship with a level head. Know what you do not want in relationship. If you decide on boundaries, you cannot tolerate in a relationship, it is easy for you to get out.

Alcoholism, gambling or violence are some of the things you should not allow if you want a long lasting relationship. Take a stand before entering a relationship. It is easy to start making excuses for someone, when you are emotionally or romantically connected with that person.

Basic Instinct

A gut feeling is something you cannot find anywhere. So rather than rely on relationship advice from books, TV or the Internet. Activate your gut radar. Be clear on the type of man you are looking for. Also understand the man type you want to avoid. Know the type of traits that follow any man you want or hope to avoid.

Your gut feeling will do the rest. Follow your gut when it tells you yes or no. You have a better chance of avoiding heartache in future if you follow your instincts.

Deborah Banks is committed to helping women rebuild their lives after a painful divorce. Learn how to be happy and live a life of fulfillment. You too can break free and Recover From Divorce

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When Managing Difficult People, Don’t Let Pet Peeves Hook You

August 10, 2010 By Leave a Comment

stressedBy Alan Fairweather -

Do you have any pet peeves that annoy you about other people?

When I’m running a Managing Difficult People seminar, I ask the participants to make a list of pet peeves that they have about other people, either in their business or personal life.

Some of the participants are reluctant to admit their pet peeves. They believe they shouldn’t have any, or they’re too embarrassed to admit to them. With a bit of encouragement from me, and some of the more outspoken members of the group, we eventually end up with a huge list on the flip chart.

People will talk about things that irritate them about other people, and drive them crazy. Things they disapprove of, find embarrassing, or just don’t like. Here are some of the pet peeves I’ve heard from seminar participants:

Speaking with your mouth full

Bad breath

Body odour

Not saying please or thank you

General bad manners

Answering a mobile phone in the middle of a conversation

Squeezing the toothpaste from the wrong end

Putting a toilet roll on the holder the wrong way around

Untidiness

Bad timekeeping

Smoking

Obesity

Drunkenness

Not looking you in the eye

Slurping food or drink

Not listening

Loud music

Loud people

As you will see, the list goes on and on.

Once we have all these pet peeves on our flip chart, I then ask the group to vote on each one. In a group of, let’s say, 20 people; 12 people might say ‘speaking with your mouth full’ is a pet peeve for them. Another 6 people might say ‘untidiness’ is a peeve for them.

What comes out of this, as you will see, is that not all of us have the same pet peeves. If you consistently arrive late, this can drive some people crazy, while others don’t really care if you’re late or not.

You develop these pet peeves based on how you were brought up; how you were programmed. You probably learned them from your parents and all the other people you grew up with.

When I was a child, I was never allowed to waste food. I had to eat everything that was on my plate before I could leave the table. This programming is so strong, that as an adult I admit to being a bit peeved by people who pick at their food and leave lots on the plate without eating it.

When we interact with other people it is highly possible that we allow our pet peeves to influence that interaction.

I was running a seminar for some bank employees and several of them stated the same pet peeve. They hate when a customer answers their mobile phone in the middle of a transaction or a conversation. Because the bank employee finds this behaviour annoying, it could potentially affect how he or she deals with the customer.

The staff member’s annoyance, albeit slight, may be transmitted to a customer by tone of voice or body language. It is then possible that the customer may become difficult. Any customer’s behaviour, which is a pet peeve for you, may hook you into negative behaviour, and that will potentially cause problems.

The other aspect of this is; we all have pet peeves, however, what may be a pet peeve for you may not be for the other person. You may think that being a bit late with your report is not such a big deal; but the other person does, and that, potentially, causes them to be difficult.

Some food for thought!

Alan Fairweather, ‘The Motivation Doctor,’ is an International Business Speaker, Best Selling Author and Sales Growth Expert. For the past sixteen years, he’s been turning ‘adequate’ managers, sales and customer service people into consistent top performers. He is the author of two books: ‘How to be a Motivational Manager’ A down-to-earth guide for managers and team leaders. ‘How to Manage Difficult People’ Proven strategies for dealing with challenging behaviour at work. To receive your free newsletter and free eBooks, visit: http://www.themotivationdoctor.com

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6 Smart Tips on Making Tough Decisions

August 9, 2010 By Leave a Comment

questionBy Amanda Paul -

There will always come a time in each of our lives in which we will have to make a tough decision. From deciding if your current relationship is right for you to whether or not you should go for that big promotion. Tough decisions can come from all aspects of our life from personal to professional. This is why today I am going to give you some smart tips to use the next time you are faced with a tough decision.

1. Set a deadline for yourself – It is really important that you set a deadline for yourself about when you want to have a final decision made. Without a deadline we allow ourselves to procrastinate or maybe even miss an opportunity. Setting a deadline may be scary but it is a necessary part of the decision making process.

2. Trust yourself – I firmly believe that each of is the expert of our life. Who knows you better that you? By taking charge and seeing yourself as an expert of your choices can give you the confidence you need to make difficult life decisions. Often we allow our bad choices of the past to diminish our ability to make the right choice. I have found that often when I have made a bad choice it has been because I haven’t trusted myself and instead just went along with something or trusted someone else to make the decision for me and this generally ended with negative results.

3. Evaluate the cost and gain with the decision – With each choice that we face in life there is a cost and something that we gain. It is important to determine if the gain is worth the cost. Maybe the higher paycheck of a new position is not worth the added stress and responsibility or maybe the new home is appealing but isn’t worth the higher mortgage payment and tighter budget. If the cost is not worth the gain then you may not want to move forward with making a change.

4. Ask for advice – I put this step further down the list for a reason. Often we will seek out the advice of others to avoid making the difficult decision ourselves. When asking a person for advice make sure it is someone that you trust and that will take advice giving seriously. It is important that you don’t just make a decision based on their advice but take it under consideration. Talking with someone about the decision may give you an alternative perspective and they may be able to give you different points to evaluate before deciding.

5. Make a pros and cons list – If after using the above tips you still find yourself torn you might try making a pros and cons list. Take a piece of paper divide it into two halves and write the positives of making the decision and the negatives. If you really want to hash out the options in this way you may also make a list about the pros and cons of not making the decision. After your lists are complete sit down and consider all options. Hopefully this may help to resolve any left over fears or insecurities about your decision.

6. Decide – This is the most important step. If we never finally make a choice then we could end up with a decision being made for us or nothing at all. I can ensure that if you never finally make the decision you will spend your days wishing that you had. I believe it is better to make a choice and give it a try then to sit and allow life to happen to you. Make a choice and take ownership for that choice. If you have followed these steps then you can be assured that your decision was well thought out and you can move forward confidently knowing that you have made a well informed decision.

These aren’t the only things you can do to help make those tough decisions easier, but they’re a good starting point. Try one or all of them the next time a tough decision rears it’s head in your life and press forward toward your goals.

And now, I’d like to invite you to claim your FREE instant access to my “Ultimate Guide To Goal Setting” which you will receive when you sign up for my “Become A Better You” Newsletter at my blog at http://www.AmandaTPaul.com

You’ll receive inspirational guidance and tips that will help you begin to create the kind of life you’ve always wanted for yourself, one full of happiness and fulfillment. You really can change the course of your life, if you’re willing to take the right steps and push toward your goals! Join us today and start “becoming a better you!”

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