By David Lerner -
Personal authenticity is about moving from a state of struggle, complexity and effort in communication and definition of self, to an easy flow of energy and communication that emanates from a place within that is much deeper than thought. A leveling occurs when we release the energy used to hold ourselves above, below, better or worse than another person.
It is about transforming the babble of meaningless conversation and how we can remedy the ridiculous charade that passes for communication in most of the Earth.
In most societies now, open expression of real authenticity could wind us up in prison, socially ostracized or, at the very least, avoided by most people. For this reason, developing personal authenticity would include exercises in being a conscious phony. We could play with this and have a lot of fun.
We live in a world where a large percentage communicate from such a degree of separation, that all their communication is geared to how they can manipulate, control or get something from other people. They are only willing to see the other person’s viewpoint to the extent needed to achieve their objectives. This mindset precludes compassion and authenticity. Feeling love for such people does not mean we must succumb to their manipulations. Many of us operate that way at least part of the time.
Authenticity is really about aligning with your true nature. The communications we are concerned with here flow effortlessly from the very core of your being. We can move consciously into a place of unconditional love. From there, being fully authentic is MUCH easier.
A real communication event occurs as a soul level resonance between two beings. Words spoken on a physical level simply bring the event into the conscious awareness and validate for the individual egos that it has occurred.
Real communication asks “Will you walk with me in my shoes?”
How do we pollute our communications?
* insert trivia of no value or importance to either party
* don’t observe whether the other person is ready or willing to hear us
* consider only our own viewpoint and not that of the other(s)
* use words or phrases without consulting the other person’s understanding
* assume sentiments or emotions that may not be there in the other person
* pretend knowledge we don’t have, or give information as fact that is only opinion
* tell lies about facts or how we really think and feel – lying in any form
* express ideas or beliefs from books or other people, as our own, that we have not found resonance with in our own hearts
* say something to convince ourselves of its truth when we are not sure
* pretend an interest that is not there
* show fake emotions
* talk when there is nothing to say
* are silent when there is something we feel the need to express
* suppress showing an emotion we feel, without consulting the other person’s willingness to understand
* hide any part of who we are. To not do this would assume that the other is willing to receive authentic communication
The last is the most daring and final step to complete authenticity. As long as we live in a phony culture, to practice this requires, from the others present, a declared intent to explore total honesty.
In a world where real authenticity can cause problems than we don’t care to create, we can do all of the above consciously without losing personal authenticity. That freedom is our birthright. We lose ourselves when we are unconscious that we are doing these things and effectively lie to ourselves.
If you wonder whether a communication is authentic, just ask yourself: “Where is this coming from?”, “What is the intent?”
The first thing I want to clear up about authenticity in communication is that it does not require you to reveal information that you don’t choose to give. For example, many of us would, in good conscience, lie to someone who would use the truth to do harm. Or you may choose to withhold something that a friend is not ready to hear, or might hurt or cause unnecessary upset.
Nor does it require you to listen when you don’t choose to. Above all, be true to yourself.
One of the biggest challenges we can learn to meet is to retain our authenticity in the face of hostility and confrontation.
A transformational workshop is being designed, to blow away the phoniness, the shallow pretenses that we use to represent ourselves, the compulsive communications that we use to avoid silence, and the introverted fears that restrain our self-expression.
Deep in the subconscious is a level of mind that we all share. It contains a forgotten language, bordering on telepathy. In the context of a group, unfettered by pretense and ego, we can discover its vocabulary.
David Lerner is the author of “Freedom in all Directions”, a book about increasing freedom by choosing one’s core beliefs consciously. It can be downloaded free from http://www.CoreBeliefs.org/