By Paul Kearley -

If we can’t be disciplined enough to resist a chocolate bar, how can we be disciplined enough to create the life we want?

Blog entry November 18, 2006: “Have you ever wondered if what you were doing was what you were intended to be doing with your life? Have you ever lain awake in the middle of the night and wondered this very thing? “What am I here for?”, “Why do I not enjoy my job like I used to?”, “Am I living a lie?”, “Is there a better way to live than with the high stress of trying to please everybody?”

There have been days lately that I have wondered some of those very same things. Oh, I know that whatever I am supposed to be doing is with and around coaching people, but it may not be in the way that I am currently doing it. I have this… call it a “feeling”, or a “knowing” that there is much more that I should be doing with my life, but I also, again, “feel” or “know” that it is not time yet. I can tell you that as sure as I can feel my fingers on these keys. I have more to learn yet before I can rise to another level of leading people: it’s not like a physical road sign in the middle of the road telling me my direction, it’s more of a “spiritual” one. I don’t know how I know, I just know, and the fact that I know it and it’s not happening as fast as I would like it to happen has really been eating away at me lately. I have been crabby, I have been grumpy, I have been evasive and I have done some really stupid things because of inattention and this inner turmoil. Many nights I go to bed thinking that I just wasted another day that I could have used to further my skills and abilities to get me out of the rut, but I did nothing.”

Then this morning, I woke up in peace. I haven’t awoken in this positive state of mind in a long time now, and it felt good: So good that I wanted to make sure that I wrote it down. I awoke with a sense of hope, faith and confidence that really feels good! I had a night full of dreams, but one that stands out was of me leading a group of people out of a dark cave into a very bright and safe place. In the dream, I felt and knew how important the mission was, and I knew that I had been chosen to lead them out. Then, after we were all in safety, I heard a voice speaking to me saying: “I have other important work for you to do that I am preparing you for, but you are not yet ready. You have much more to learn. How can you lead my people if you cannot yet lead yourself? This is what I will have you learn now.” I woke up with a start after I heard those words, shaking and excited and ready to start learning. I now feel that the hard time that I have been going through in the last while is my “walk in the desert”. How long or how wide this desert is, I do not know, but I am committed to making it across and learning whatever it is that I MUST learn to move to the next phase of my life. I see this journey almost as a test that I must prepare for, yet I don’t know what I must prepare. All I know is that I must be ready to go and not look back. What I am in search of is “Self Leadership”, what I hope to find is myself.

As I have been thinking about this all weekend, I have come up with 16 principles that answer what I believe to be this Self Leadership question.

What is Self Leadership:

1. It is giving our very best to whatever we do.

2. It is believing ourselves worthy to be the best..

3. It is focusing on being excellent, and not stopping until we are… which should be never!.

4. It is fulfilling the excellent use of our gifts and talents.

5. It is living in and operating in the truth, and being honest enough to ourselves to recognize it. .

6. It is living confidently and in a way that says “I refuse to fail”, and not quitting if we do..

7. It is recognizing that striving IS succeeding. .

8. It is recognizing that we all have limits, and that we accept them for what they are and having the mindset to strive to improve on them..

9. It is not making excuses for our mistakes and perceived limits. .

10. It is not settling for status quo..

11. It is being secure enough in our own abilities to not have to prove ourselves to get recognition..

12. It is being confident enough in our own abilities to lead others without asking for anything in return..

13. It is seeing the positive in people and situations..

14. It is not being threatened by the abilities or thoughts of others..

15. It is willing to voice our opinions in the face of adversity..

16. It is the commitment to do the right things… always..

Making a commitment to yourself is very hard to do. It is much more difficult than making a commitment to someone else because they can be there to keep you accountable. But when we make the commitment to ourselves, we are the person who must hold ourselves accountable… no matter what. This is where our discipline is paramount. To do this, make it a public commitment. Speak it out loud to people whom you trust and respect and ask them to hold your toes in the fire: Doing this will create results much faster than just trying to do it alone.

This week, why not take your own journey towards Self~Leadership? When you can succeed at all of the principles that were outlined above, then you will be placing yourself up for promotion in your most important area: your life.

May you have all of the success that you can handle this week.

For 22 years, Paul Kearley has thrived in the personal development and coaching business. As a Master Coach for the past 10 years, Paul’s passion is in developing and creating increased potential with both clients and other trainers.

A columnist for two newspapers in Eastern Canada, and editor for his own weekly ezine, Paul writes articles that address the everyday challenges we all have and face in life and in business, and offers suggestions for success.

If you’d like to connect with Paul to discuss your personal or business strategies or to subscribe to “E-Motion” his weekly newsletter , simply send an e-mail to carnegie@nbnet.nb.ca, visit http://www.mustthinking.com or call 506 433 4722.

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