A year ago, a beautiful woman came to see me. Her husband had been cheating on her and she wanted some advice regarding her future.
Even though her eyes were dull, shoulders drawn and her face sad, I managed to look beyond that. Did you know that when you go “beyond”, you can create new things?
I told her to go look in my bathroom mirror. She came back and I asked her what she saw. “A fool” she replied. I told her that she needs glasses and to go look again. And again. By the third time she was almost in tears but she managed to acknowledge that she was beautiful.
We started on the road to healing the fragments of her spirit. When we are unhappy, especially in times of extreme trauma, the spirit cracks, even fractures into tiny pieces. In order to put that together, you need to start fitting piece by piece.
I used a combination of inner travel meditation and talking to her. The first thing I told her was: NO ONE can make you happy. You need to LIKE yourself and achieve happiness from within. A lover of husband can ADD to that happiness but cant initiate the feeling.
How many times have you said or heard the words: I will be happy if .. and then follows the.. if I win a million, if my husband is less grumpy, if I meet a lover.
Not so. Happiness is the emotion that produces little tingly sensations in the brain. That is why chocolate “uplift” the sprit. The brain sees this as “happy food” and soon you feel better!
In order to really LIKE yourself, you need to embrace your good points and divide your bad points into two groups. There is a group of bad that you can change and one that you can not.
If you are five feet and two inches tall and you do not like it , so sorry , you have to deal with that. No miracle can turn you into a six footer.
If you do not like it when it rains, and become all depressed, you need to see that the depression is triggered by a symptom. No use treating the symptom if the cause is not fixed.
You need to go “beyond” the symptoms to find and fix the cause.
Change what you can and look at what you can’t change from a different angle. Did you realise that being short has it’s own set of advantages?
Look “beyond” the physical, emotional and the mind. See the perfection of your spirit. If the spirit is allowed to shine through, your emotions and thoughts will lighten and you will “feel” happier.
Nothing is impossible. Nothing does not exsist. Therefor, you need to accept that all things are possible.
No one is just good or bad. If you do not have bad points, there is imbalance, because the YOU as focal point NEEDS good and bad in order to show balance.
Start liking yourself. You are with YOU 24/7. I did not say “like” your bad points, I said :like YOU. Soon you will relax and start looking at the things you do not like, changing what you can and accepting what you cant.
That is when the miracle occurs. When you LIKE yourself, you go “beyond” the barriers of loneliness.
Your appearance change, even if you did nothing to make it look different on the outside. People will be drawn to you because you have a vibration of being content. You will be happy .
Having yourself for a best friend has advantages.You can’t lie to yourself. You can be kind to yourself. You will not be “lonely” because in balance, you will not mind times when you are on your own.
Trust yourself and have faith in the Creator. You are not here by coincidence. Go “beyond” and see how being YOU, can change your life and others.
That beautiful young woman listened to me. Soon, her eyes sparkled and she was even lovelier than before. Her shimmering spirit and kind nature drew lots of friends to her. At one stage she even had a choice of men wanting to be with her all the time!
She chose one. She shares her secret of inner and outer beauty. She is her own best friend and she really LIKES herself.
Be you. Like who you are. Trust who you are. If you find that hard, look for someone to help you achieve that. ENJOY discovering your inner beauty!
SilverJade has been advising people on blind faith and free will for many years. She offers free consultations online. Do a search on the name in South Africa.
Marcie tried to dial in to our coaching call for the first time two weeks ago. She dialed the number and couldn’t get in. When she was finally able to connect to the call she realized that she had said, “Oh, I’m so stupid,” at least 20 times before she got through.
The call happened to be about our commitment to our Small Self. Marcie was stunned. She wrote me: “Until last week I said, “I am so stupid” all the time. It was a frequent response to many, many things. I used it all the time. I really didn’t think it was serious or damaging it was just a glib phrase. I really didn’t even think about how offensive it was to my Soul Self and how damaging it was to my life.”
We all have a subconscious Small Self commitment, which keeps us small and in a place of fear. The good news is that with ONE simple step we can turn our Small Self commitment into our Soul Self commitment so we can live our biggest life and move from failure to success.
This week, each of us found our Small Self commitment. It was shocking and liberating to find out that we all have a phrase that is keeping us in a small life. Usually your Small Self commitment is formed at young age. I guided everyone back to the initial moment of when this commitment was formed for the first time. It was quite amazing for some.
For Marcie the moment her Small Self commitment was formed was crystal clear. She took us back to when she was in third grade. “I was such a happy child, I lived in a blissful world and grew up on a farm. I could talk with the trees, the animals and my artistic talents gave me such joy.
Until one day my world collapsed. Everything changed in that instant. As I was working on a project in third grade, my teacher spoke the words: “Marcie, You Are So Stupid!” Forty years later I’m still telling myself the same thing. Over and over again.”
After I explained the Soul Guided steps, Marcie turned her statement around and told me, “I can never use those words again. I see how they’ve damaged my life. My life has radically changed and I feel so liberated.” Two days later she’s started to organize an art festival. Guess what she’s saying to herself now? (smile)
Are you impeccable with your word? (This is the first agreement of the teachings of Miquel Ruiz). What is that ONE THING you have been saying all your life that is keeping you small? Do you realize you are fighting your own Soul? Discover where you are, how you got there, and why it blocks you from where your Soul’s path is leading you. This is earthshaking and so empowering!
Using her own life as living proof that extraordinary choices lead to an extraordinary life, she expertly helps others do the same. She’s a Soul Guidance Coach, radio host, bestselling author, and has collaborated with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey and Deepak Chopra on numerous books. As an international speaker, clairvoyant healer and mother of five, Saskia empowers you to move out of your comfort zone, break through your fears, and go after your heart’s desires. Get access to her free “21-Day Roadmap to Your Dreams” program here: http://www.YourSoulGuidance.com.
It’s real easy for one’s self worth to be severely challenged with the recession. When there is a question as to whether you can stay in your home for another month it’s normal to experience uncomfortable feelings of fear, loss, uncertainty, confusion, and frustration. It’s like these feelings run from your brain through your stomach and just sit there feeling like your stomach has no bottom . Sometimes the feelings go on downward and make your legs wobbly.
You are at the poop end of a terrible recession and along with all the lousy feelings of low self worth there’s a strong sense of not living up to your own expectations. The Republicans are stuck on not raising taxes for those making a couple hundred thousand dollars a year. And you’re thinking, “I’d just like to be able to make $40,000. The guy earning over a hundred thousand dollars doesn’t think twice about spending $80 to go out to dinner, yet that same $80 would buy your family groceries for almost a week. In the grocery store, you choose the $1.99/lb plum tomatoes rather than the plump $2.49/lb tomatoes. There are many many decisions like this everyday that weren’t there when you were employed. And you wonder, “Why are the Republicans addicted to not raising taxes for the rich?
With all the confusions and uncertainties you question your sense of self worth. In your mind you run through all the choices and decisions you’ve made. If only you had taken the other job or position. If only you had not put any money in the stock market. If only you had stayed living in an apartment instead of buying a home. If only you had taken more initiative at your job or career. The if onlys are never ending. You lie awake at night and your days are boring and uneventful. No one is hiring. Jobs don’t exist. You either have too much experience or not enough. You’d like to start your own business but have no idea what to do, how to do it, or where to get the money to start a business.
You’re not even thinking of finding self worth as your self worth is down the toilet. You figure the only way you can get it back is to get a job so you can afford an apartment and not have to deal with handouts. You know that you are as good as the bastards making fortunes that laid you off. There’s just no fairness. They go on making their hundreds of thousands of dollars and you have to beg for work to feed your family.
This is life for thousands of folks while the Republicans protect the rich from picking up their fair share of the tab. But that’s not the real issue. The real issue is that the Republicans stale mate the government from moving forward which knocks the legs out from the confidence needed to grow the economy.
Nevertheless it’s kind of a challenge to give self worth advice to someone who is in crisis. Pep talking someone into finding self worth in crisis is almost impossible. This is because most of us have been taught to feel good about ourselves when we accomplish things. We feel good when we have a good job or career, when we are able to provide for our family, and have enough money to take our family out to dinner we can feel good about ourselves.
Our self worth is totally dependent on how we judge ourselves to be doing. When we are blindsided by the economy and lose our jobs we feel like we are in the “poor house”. But how else can one look at this failure? The fellow making $200,000 loses his job and he feels “broke,” as opposed to feeling “poor.” Does it affect his self worth? Answer: Somewhat but not nearly as much as the person who feels “poor.”
Actually we are in the midst of a self worth crisis. And the recession only makes the self worth crisis easy. Why is finding self worth so difficult? Answer: Because as youngsters were were programmed to for low self worth. For instance, we were asked by our parents and grown ups, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
This provides a message to you, the youngster, that you are nothing right now and one day through what you accomplish or what you accumulate, or who you marry, or what degree of education you attain you will be somebody, but right now you are nothing. What more if you said you wanted to be a fireman or a policeman there was a chuckle and an insinuation that you’d make a great doctor or lawyer. The message was that blue collar workers are less than.
It’s these messages that set us up for self worth crisis and the recession only makes it easy to happen. But just how do you get a sense of self worth when everything is against you? Answer: Building self worth is a daily choice that you make. First it’s important to know, I mean truly know that each of us are a child of the universe. There is no one better than you and you are no better than anyone else. You are perfect the way you are. This subject alone deserves a chapter to fully get this point across.
Next is to realize that life has disappointments. In fact life is more often about the plans that fall through than it is about the plans we make. Loss of job, or making a mistake in the stock market, and so on are huge disappointments. The problem is that we become our lost jobs, poor decisions and identify with them. The goal is to feel and experience the emotions that go along with the disappointments and to choose to like you too. The problem is that we often avoid or resist feeling the emotions and stay stuck in them. The other benefit is also that when you choose to feel and experience the emotion the emotion disappears and creativity surfaces. With creativity comes answers to difficult problems.
In summary it’s to say, “I’m disappointed with the (situation) and that I feel frustrated, upset, depressed and so on and I still like me. I am a worthy and capable person and always profit from my mistakes”
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This morning when I started working on this blog, I opened the Dashboard, as usual, to deal with the comments. Often I get great comments about the articles I've posted. Occasionally, I get comments by someone who thought the article was wrong, needed changing, or just didn't measure up. I welcome … [Read More...]
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