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Coping and Support With Obesity

May 13, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

You should know about coping and support with obesity. If you are wanting to lose a significant amount of weight, you need the help of others. More than likely, you are experiencing a lot of negative emotions right now. That is okay. Do not deny any of those feelings. Talk to your therapist and doctor about what you can do. They will give you guidance on coping and support with obesity. The following are some suggestions for helping you manage your weight loss program:

* Journal. Write down what you are feeling, whether it is anger, fear, embarrassment, or any other emotion. Remember, your feelings are yours, and they are ok to have. There is no moral value to your feelings. It is what you do with them that counts. Sometimes, your feelings can motivate you to take action.

* Connect. It is very important that you not become isolated. Stay connected with family and friends. Plan and do fun things together.

* Join. Find a good support group to join. Organizations like the YMCA have groups that are very supportive. More than likely, the leaders of these groups have gone through the same thing you are going through now. You will find group members a great help as everyone supports each other through during this weight loss process.

* Focus. Stay focused on what you want to accomplish. Set goals. Being a member of a support group will definitely help you do this.

* Relax. Learn stress management and relaxation techniques. If you do not learn to manage your stress, you might tend to eat more. Relaxation techniques are something you can practice every day so that you can learn to calm yourself down quickly in stressful situations.

These are suggestions for finding the coping and support with obesity that you need. Maintain a positive attitude and you can reach your weight loss goals.

Strip That Fat is a safe and effective weight loss plan. It uses only the most nutritious and healthiest foods. Click on link below to learn more about Strip That Fat and order today:

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Bob Solley, MSW, MAT Louisville, Kentucky

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping, obesity, support, support with obesity., You should know about coping

4 Coping Skills After a Relationship Breakup

May 6, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Rachel S. Kelly -

After being in a close relationship with someone it is not easy to deal with the emotions from a breakup. Both people involved feel the strain and heartache, but the one who was broken up with feels it the most and has the hardest time coping with the loss. It is very easy to understand why, you are still in love with that person but you can no longer be with them.

You can no longer call them when something funny or sad happens. You can no longer look forward to seeing them at the end of the day. You can no longer make plans for the weekend or even this evening. There is a big hole in your life and you need to fill it with something. Later you will find someone new, or perhaps be re-united with your ex but right now you need to fill that hole with something or you will never progress to the time of new relationship or restored relationship.

Here are four ways to help NOW with the loss of your relationship:

1. Get Together With Family and Friends

One way to get your mind off of all the time you used to spend with your ex is to fill that time with other people. The best way is to connect and reconnect with family and friends. Surround yourself with people who care about you and with whom you enjoy spending time. You may be surprised at how many of these people are happy to spend time with you and to help you get your mind off of your ex.

2. Get Rid Of All The Reminders

Memories are triggered by many things: sounds, smells, sights. There are any number of objects and other items in your life that are reminders of the moments you had together with your ex. Get rid of them! I know that can be difficult, and maybe some of those things you will want to just box up and hide away for awhile, but you simply must get them out of your current world. Things that are your ex’s send back. Things that your ex gave to you must go away. Movies, music, wines, and foods all these little clues to the pain of the breakup must go away. You may think that a little thing here and there will be alright, but you will actually be surprised at just how powerful the association you have with that object and your ex.

3. Start something new

When you break up with someone, you will find that you have more free time than you use to. So, start something new. Always wanted to learn French, or how to play the guitar, or jazz dance, or yoga? Do It! Find a class, find a teacher, make a commitment and get involved. Have you thought about volunteering as a big sister or big brother, then do it. Commit yourself to something new and worthwhile and get involved, change your life in a significant way. What was your ex’s name again? Who cares, you’re busy, happy and fulfilled.

4. Talk To Someone

Do not keep your emotions buried inside yourself, talk to someone. Talking to friends and family about your pain is only normal, but sometimes they don’t really understand the extent to which your pain is crippling you. Seek out a professional. There are groups of therapists in every major city, and even some smaller ones, that can help you to deal with the emotions of a relationship breakup. Do this early and you will benefit immensely.

There are ways to cope with a relationship breakup. Begin the process early and the hole in your life will heal over quicker and leave you available for a real relationship in the future.

The basis of any relationship is the emotional connection between one person and another. It’s very basic psychology. Learn what you may be doing right without thinking about it, and what you can do to improve your relational skills. My Relationship Story is about you improving your relationships with simple understanding and skills that seem like magic in their effectiveness. My site is http://www.myrelationshipstory.com

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping skills, relationship breakup, self improvement

Coping With Emotional Milestones

April 29, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Linney Elder -

Anniversaries can be a very stressful time for people, depending on the circumstances.

Personally, I find things like funerals, Christmas and New Year very stressful. I have thought quite a bit about why this is and I realised that it’s largely because of the expectations that we place on ourselves and on other people to behave and perform in certain defined ways at these times. Ways that perhaps are contrary to our beliefs and values, and yet we go along with them in an effort to be accepted by our “tribe”.

Many of these rites of the passage of time originate in ancient Pagan rituals and belief systems. They were often connected to the astrological placement of the stars and the ancient gods they represented.

Birth Days

It seems that we mere mortals desired a connection with these gods and so the idea of celebrating personal birthdays with a feast was created by the Roman emperors in an effort to affiliate themselves to a particular god/goddess. Over time, their subjects adopted this ritual as well.

The birthday cake, which is generally round in shape, is a representation of the moon and burning candles on it represent the light of the moon. This idea apparently began as a monthly Pagan ritual honouring Artemis, the moon goddess, where little round cakes with candles on were made as offerings to her.

Wishing someone “happy birthday” was also a Pagan idea. They believed that a person was more vulnerable on their birth day so by offering good wishes and gifts they were providing them with positive protection.

These days, birthday gatherings are more a celebration of life than anything else.

I’ve spent many of these occasions alone for various reasons and have devised my own simple methods of coping and paying homage where appropriate. I tend to keep things simple, earthy and introspective, allowing myself to feel any emotions that arise, including any feelings of sadness that surface.

Anniversary of Death of a Loved One

As I approached the first anniversary of the death of my loved one, Alan, who died from throat cancer in April 2011, I honestly thought I would be fine about it. I had made an effort to understand the grieving process and allowed myself to work through it at my own pace.

I had done loads of processing of deep emotions like anger, and feelings of loss and abandonment since his passing. I had worked on forgiveness and compassion, understanding and acceptance. I thought I was good to go.

Then the evening before the anniversary date, I happened to glance at the wall clock and in an instant I was transported into a retrospective time warp, back to the night Alan was dying. The tears spilled out of my eyes, my chest and shoulders contracted in a near-panic attack and I experienced a nerve-related spasm in my lower back.

I was amazed at how my physical body had instantly reacted to the thoughts and emotions I was experiencing. Without conscious thought, I felt myself curling into a fetus position in an effort to protect my breaking heart.

Every time I looked at the clock, my subconscious mind took me back to that exact moment one year before. It was like I was reliving the experience of losing Alan all over again.

This was a powerful example of living in the now as I recalled each progressive moment, frame by frame, of his final hours.

The grief I was feeling continued to come up in waves through the night and the next morning. It finally came to a head at the exact moment of his death at 10.45am. I could hardly breathe as the sobs wracked my body and I wailed like a child at what I was remembering.

Calm After the Storm

To my amazement, the storm of emotions & tears passed and a wonderful calm descended over my mind and heart. I went and sat in the warm sunshine and breathed in the fresh sea air as I gradually quietened down. I continued to breathe slowly and deeply and realised that I was breathing in life itself. I was allowing nature in all its glory to nurture me. It felt good.

As I sat quietly, eyes closed, I felt a gentle touch on my left shoulder and knew that Alan was there comforting me from beyond the veil, so I talked to him and expressed my love for him and told him that I would be fine.

I went back inside and something nudged me to pick up my cell phone and open the video clips on it. That was when I really began to heal as I watched a short video I had recorded when Alan was still doing well. It was a very funny clip and you can hear my choking laughter in the background at his antics. It was a beautiful, funny memory and that is what filled my mind and heart for the rest of the day.

I wanted that first anniversary to be a celebration of Alan’s life and his re-birth – and it was. I ended the evening enjoying supper with wonderful friends to celebrate the birthday of one of them. How appropriate that it should be on that day too. We laughed and teased one another and recalled funny incidents from our lives. It was perfect.

What I learned:

The grieving process is like climbing mountains. Each time you think you have got to the summit, another peak rises that has to be scaled.

Our physical body often holds the memory of events from our lives – both good and not so good – and this is why it’s so important to get in touch with what you are feeling, not just what you are thinking. If you shy away from those deep feelings, sooner or later, they WILL surface and you WILL have to deal with them, but once you do…the sense of relief and release is wonderful!

I continue to be open to the amazing lessons that experiencing cancer and death offer me as I live mindfully, appreciating each precious moment. I hope that coping with emotional milestones will get easier for me as time passes and that I am able to joyfully celebrate all that has been part of my life, with gratitude and appreciation.

My Campaign

I have just created a Campaign relating to my book and I would be delighted if you could share it with everyone you know. Please help me to raise awareness of cancer and the possibilities that exist for holistic healing:

http://www.indiegogo.com/Infinitely-Possible?a=519217

Blessings of perfect health

Linney

Linney Elder is the author of “Infinitely Possible – A Cancer Odyssey”, a freelance researcher and writer, Reiki Master Teacher, intuitive channel for healing energy and perennial student of life.

Join her on this magical journey of self-discovery – read more insights and related subjects on her website: http://www.infinitely-possible.com

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: anniversaries, birthdays holidays, coping, emotional milestones, self improvement

Effectively Dealing with Sadness

April 22, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

By Mary Maddux -

No one ever has a problem dealing with happiness or feeling good. When joy comes into our life we experience it freely, but when sadness or grief is present, we often struggle with them. This is especially true during the holidays when we are expected to be cheerful and have fun. We live in a culture that tells us to “put on a happy face” and this can make it very difficult to be comfortable with sadness. Yet sadness and grief are a normal part of everyone’s life. Whether they are caused by a major loss such as the death of a loved one, or smaller everyday setbacks, we can learn to live with them with greater ease.

Not only can we become more at ease with these feelings, it is vital to our health and well-being that we handle them in a healthy way. The risks of not dealing effectively with emotions became evident when a neighbor of ours lost his wife to illness several years ago. When I offered my sympathy, he quickly denied that he had any feelings about it. Within a week he had disposed of all of her belongings and basically stated that everything to do with her illness and death were over and done. Not surprisingly, his health has declined steadily since then. He has told me of one complaint after another. At first no cause was found for his symptoms, but as time went on, real physical problems have developed (all of which are known to be stress-related).

Of course, this is an extreme example, but it illustrates the importance of how we deal with our emotions. It’s well worth the effort to explore how you handle these feelings, and learn new skills. This article focuses on how to deal with the emotion of sadness. Part 2 will explore grief, which involves a whole array of emotions and experiences that are caused by a major loss, such as the death of a loved one.

Holistic approaches to health have long realized the role that our emotions play in our health, and modern medicine is now taking this more and more into account. For a healthy emotional life, we need to honor all of our emotions and allow them room for expression. When sadness comes, we need to allow ourselves to feel it fully. It helps to understand that it is a normal, natural reaction to loss, and not an indication that there is something wrong with us.

Any loss can trigger sadness — it might even accompany a beautiful sunset that signals the end of the day. We might not always know what makes us feel sad — it could even be a shift in our body chemistry with its changing hormones, blood sugar levels, etc. It helps to let go of the need to understand all of our emotional reactions or to feel that we have to be able to justify them. What is important is that we not resist or suppress our emotions. Allowed to be present, the emotion will simply “pass through”.

In addition to accepting our sadness as a normal part of life, and allowing it to be present, there are some other ways we can help ourselves through sad times:

1. Share what we are feeling with a trusted friend or family member, in particular someone who can listen without judging us or trying to change us. The simple experience of being “accompanied” with our feelings can be comforting.

2. Take time to do something that is nourishing and soothing to you. Take a leisurely walk, get a massage, curl up with a good book, do gardening or other favorite hobby.

3. Find a way to slow down and relax. This will allow the feelings to be released. Meditate, listen to some relaxing music, do some simple stretches.

4. Write in a journal or diary. When we do this, it feels as if we have an ideal listener with whom we can confide. Expressing and exploring your feelings in this way can bring perspective and comfort.

5. Learn to be your own best friend. Step back and view yourself with compassion and love. Notice if you are judging yourself harshly (“you should be over this by now”), and find sympathy for yourself instead.

When to Get Professional Help

Sadness which is intense and long-lasting may be depression. Depressed individuals tend to feel helpless and hopeless and to blame themselves for having these feelings. If feelings of extreme sadness or despair last for at least two weeks or longer and interfere with activities of daily living — such as working, or even eating and sleeping — it is advisable to seek professional help. If accompanied by thoughts of death or suicide, seek help immediately.

Mary Maddux is a practitioner, teacher and writer in the fields of healing and self-development. She has an MS in clinical social work, has been trained as a Healing Touch Practitioner and has many years of experience in the practice and teaching of meditation. Drawing on her extensive work background in both conventional and alternative settings, she has created a unique series of CDs for relaxation, meditation and healing. Visit her website, http://www.heartofhealing.net for in-depth discussions and practical information on topics related to healing.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: dealing with sadness, sadness, self improvement

What Do You Believe?

April 16, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Susan Russo -

“You can do it if you believe you can.” -Napoleon Hill

Whether you know it or not your beliefs about anything and everything have a direct impact in your life. They say: “Whatever you believe, you’re right.” It doesn’t matter if what you believe doesn’t serve you, or if it’s negative and limiting, if it is what you believe it WILL be how you experience your life.

Whatever you are going through your belief is the cause and how you are living is the effect. Oh, I know, you can argue that you didn’t ask to be fired, or to be left by your partner, or to be treated badly, or to lose your house, or to be in debt etc. But, that doesn’t mean that somewhere in the back of your mind, there isn’t an unconscious fear of, or doubts about or an underlying insecurity that is lying dormant in your mind.

I always say, show me someone’s life, tell me their circumstances and I will tell you what they believe. So it’s time you decide if you are going to let your beliefs define you or if you are going to step up and define your beliefs.

For those of you who I have coached, you well know the number one factor that will make the biggest and most incredible life changing impact in your life; learn to change your thoughts and you WILL change your life. Period.

It truly is the single one thing that you can do for yourself that will make such a huge difference in how you live that you will actually start to believe in magic!

The fact that we think some 60,000 thoughts a day and most of them go unnoticed by us is evidence that we are not in control of what we think about, it’s more like what we think about is in control of us and how we live and how we feel.

So, if the facts are that when you learn to get in tune with your thinking and learn how to flip the script when your thoughts don’t serve you and that you can actually change your life; what are you waiting for? Why aren’t you tripping over yourself to learn how to do this?

Maybe you don’t believe it! (Tongue in cheek.) And if that’s the case, you’re right. But if you want to open your mind to the unlimited possibilities that already exist, if you want to start living the kind of life you never believed in before, if you really want to stop feeling like you do, what do you have to lose by giving it a shot?

On the other hand, if you don’t want to, then by all means keep on doing what you are doing, keep on thinking how you’ve been thinking and don’t change a thing. And, oh by the way, how’s that been working out for you?

I used to set a timer for every 30 minutes and I would stop whatever I was doing and refocus my mind on what I wanted or how I wanted to live, even if only for 5 seconds. But it got me to keep my thoughts focused on what I wanted and NOT on what I didn’t want. And, sometimes if I was really busy, I would simply say, “Thank You for all of my blessings.”

I still use my timer when I feel like I’m drifting down the wrong path. It may seem awkward at first or inconvenient, but the alternative is to do nothing and keep living the same way you’ve always been living and getting the same results.

I can’t tell you how many times people tell me things like: “I can’t stop thinking of him or her. I feel so bad. My life is ruined. I will never get over this. Things never work out for me. I can’t afford to live the way I want. I will never have what I want” And on and on and on.

It’s these self defeating, limiting, negative thoughts that keep you stuck right where you are. Granted it’s normal to have more intense emotions at the onset of any adversity but it’s the constant feeding of your mind with these kinds of thoughts that will keep you mired in a self imposed hell.

But, if you learn to talk to yourself, lift your soul, renew your mind and stop repeating these miserable kinds of thoughts and replace them with those that WILL change your life, you will be sending me flowers when you start to live in a new way.

Instead, send yourself flowers and be happy again, believe in a better future, be grateful for your blessings, have faith and trust that life is a process and it’s the “thoughts” you hold on the inside that will reflect how you will live on the outside.

Susan Russo is an author and coach whose work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Would you like to empower yourself to do the same? Discover Susan’s 7 Keys to unlock your power and sign in for her Free report.

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Filed Under: Addiction Management Tagged With: Beliefs, Manifesting, self improvement

Coping With Grief

April 15, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Cheryline Lawson -

Grief is a topic that is not much discussed, but all of us will go through this process some day. I have gone through it four times in seven years, but the most profound loss for me was the loss of my child. I thought that was the end of everything for me back then, but after 21 years, I finally found peace and a quiet resolution to help others.

My son’s death and his memory will live on as long as I have breath in my body and it will have been worth something to help even just one person.

I would like to share some tips of how I got through the whole ordeal and how you can too.

1. One of the first things you should not do is to feel guilty. Never feel guilty about what happened. It will only make coping more difficult. I questioned myself for a long time about what could I have done to change things. There is nothing I could have done and I realize that now.

2. Please cry and let out the grief as much as you can. Do NOT bottle up your emotions. It will only hurt you in the long run and you won’t be able to communicate or nurture your other relationships with family members, friends and associates.

3. Do NOT isolate yourself. Please DO NOT try to find opportunities to spend time alone. Don’t escape in the pain on your own. It is harder to cope like that. You need to make the effort it will take to be in a company of familiar people most of the time.

4. Find a support group if it gets too overwhelming or seek out a family member of friend who you can talk to. My personal story was that I found a new friend who was a babysitter next door. She offered me support by listening to my story and providing a shoulder for me to cry on. She used to pick me up on Sunday mornings and take me to church. It was there that I found the peace of God. It did not happen overnight. It was a process, but that is where it started and I believe God sent her in my life just for that purpose. My support group became my church brothers and sisters who offered me the unconditional and sincere love of Christ. Through that experience, I learned more about being thankful for opportunities like this to share my story so I can encourage someone.

5. If the pain gets unbearable, find a certified grief specialist, but make sure you include all the willing family members who want to participate in the counseling process because it doesn’t make sense that you get to a place of healing and they don’t. After I found Jesus, I did not need a specialist. He was my specialist because I allowed him to take control of my life and it sure wasn’t easy. There were times that I had a relapse and wanted to give up, but he took me back up and loved me anyway.

6. If it is possible to do this on your own: have a family meeting and allow everyone to discuss his or her feelings. I wish I had done that with my husband, but I was feeling so much self-pity that it did not occur to me at the time. My husband had a daughter from another marriage who was very close to Chadrick and she helped me a lot, without my realizing it at the time, because when she would come for weekends, she would want to talk about the good times that we had with Chadrick and she had me smiling sometimes.

7. My mother, even though, she was not with me at the time used to provide support over the phone. Talk with your parents. Let them know how you are feeling. They will understand.

8. Write a journal. Even if you don’t love to write, make an exception for this. It is a good purging system. Let your feelings come alive on paper. It is a refreshing experience. You can start by writing about the good times spent with your loved one. Believe me, it will bring a smile to your face in some way or the other.

9. Take on a meaningful project; something that your loved one was interested in or something that makes a difference in someone else’s life.

10. Go to yahoo and search in the “groups” section for “grief” or “mourning” and you will find several active groups. Join about three of them, but choose the ones that have a small membership because you want to find an intimate group rather than a large group. Find someone in the group according to their postings that relate to your situation and ask if you could correspond with them via email. Google also has groups, but on a smaller scale.

When all else has failed and you don’t know what to do, but begin to weep and get it all out of your system for that day. You have nothing to be ashamed of and you are entitled to grieve for your loved one. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. You are human and you do have feelings. Let me validate that right now. You are allowed to be weak during your grief. It is normal. I cried for two long years, so be reassured that you are not alone in your situation. There are lots of people who are having trouble coping with their grief.

Cheryline Lawon is an author and mother of a lost child. She has written an ebook about her ordeal to reach out to others who have lost a loved one. Her website and ebook can be found at http://www.coping-with-grief.com

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Addictions and Coping Mechanisms – Are They the Same?

April 8, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Mark Piecha –

Often, when we think of addictions, we think of drastic, dire situations where someone is unable to control their desire to use drugs or alcohol. We may picture a person who is homeless, or living in squalor, or just downright miserable. Well, while those images may be real, the truth is-we all have a tendency toward addictive behavior.

I believe that everyone is addicted to something. We all have our own issues, and it is the way that we deal with them that generally creates these behaviors (or tendencies). It is within all of us to live resourceful lives, or, conversely, to live non-resourceful lives.

This is not to say that alcoholism and/or drug addiction is not a disease. What we are looking at is the common, yet unique way, we all have of dealing with life and applying coping mechanisms into our behaviors and then exhibiting dysfunctional habits.

When we are living our life experience, we have learned (usually in our formative years) how to feel safe. We learn what “safe” is; our interpretation of “safe”, that is. Meaning that through our perceptions, belief systems, values, etc., we determine for ourselves how it feels to “feel good”.

When we do not feel good, we desire to feel good. At this point, we try things (either things we remember learning-consciously or subconsciously) that will help us to feel good. Sometimes, we try things that we’ve never tried before, as well.

Now, if the action that we took makes us feel better or “good”, we have learned a way to feel “safe”. Internally, unconsciously, we begin to associate this action (or behavior) with feeling better. So, the next time that we do not feel safe, we take this action again.

Soon, it becomes a habit. And, as the habit is created, so the addiction is fed. And it grows and grows, seemingly on its own-until we are truly addicted to something.

As previously stated, addictions do not need to be reserved only for drugs and alcohol. Some people are addicted to: television, reading, walking, exercise, eating, smoking (guess there’s a drug in there), the internet, celebrities, relationships (not wanting to feel “alone”), driving, coffee (another drug?), etc.

Let’s say that you are feeling down and you take a long walk. After the long walk, you feel a lot better. So, the next time you feel down, you, once again, take a walk. And, again, you feel better. You unconsciously begin to associate easing yourself back into your comfort zone with walking.

Then, you decide (perhaps unconsciously) to beat the system and take the walk BEFORE you feel down. So, you start walking. Next thing you know, you have a pile of laundry, a sink full of dishes, and a messy house. But, you feel that you have done great things because you aren’t feeling down.

Yes, you are back in your comfort zone. And, you are not feeling down. However, the threshold in your life for whatever stress it was that created the feeling in the first place is still at the same level. If something were to happen to stop you from being able to walk, you would not be able to deal with that stress resourcefully.

Those thresholds that we have within us can be considered as boundaries of our comfort zone. When we are outside of that comfort zone, we feel uncomfortable. Unless you learn to stretch and expand your abilities, that threshold will remain the same.

Another point to consider when looking at these coping mechanisms or strategies is that of awareness. You are probably not even aware (or conscious) of what it is that you are doing when you are taking these actions that “relieve” the stress. You just know that you feel okay.

When you can become aware of what it is that you are doing, and WHY you are doing it, you can observe (internally) your internal representations and change them for the better. In other words, you can create a new reality for yourself and expand your comfort zone, thereby raising your threshold for stresses in your life.

The basis for this explanation lies in the tendency we all have to become unaware of what we are doing and, more importantly, what we are thinking. As you have gone through your life, you have learned belief systems, values, and certain coping strategies (that can be tied to “coping mechanisms”). These internal representations of your world and your life experience, determine, to a large degree, what is going on in your life.

So, for example, when you have learned a strategy that whenever you feel sad, you can take a long walk and feel “better”, you are implementing the coping mechanism. At this point, it is not harmful. It does become harmful when you rely on the mechanism or strategy to make you feel “better”. Then, you have to take a long walk to feel “better”-perhaps, you may even reach the point where you only feel happy when you take long walks.

Being aware, observing your thoughts and actions, and raising your thresholds will all help to alleviate the tendency to gravitate toward an addictive behavior or action.

Chickey Motivational Institute

[http://www.thefourpillarsoflife.com]

http://www.thefourpillarsoflife.blogspot.com

Using the Four Pillars of Life, I can help you to become a better you!

Principles of success, affirmations, conscious and subsoncious improvement are all part of my focus.

Visit my website at the above link for more information.

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Filed Under: Addiction Management, Coping Skills Tagged With: addictions, coping mechanisms, coping with addiction, self improvement

Developing Coping Skills Within Stressful Situations

March 25, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Colette Morris -

A Vision is a Target that Beckons

When you find yourself in a stressful situation (i.e., a closing that is coming up, an especially important negotiation) you may discover that your normal cool is replaced with panic. With practice, you can learn to handle these situations with grace. Here are some points to consider.

Step back and see the big picture…

When things get too much, slow yourself down. Take a step back and observe the situation from a neutral stand point.
What is the key objective (s) that you have to meet or get out of the situation? – Think about it and write it down, if there is more than one objective write them down and then go back over them and label them in order of priority. If you are unable to do so, then you may need to communicate this to all parties to agree timescales and then set priorities accordingly.
How can you achieve this objective in the time you have? Can you partially achieve this, or is there another way to look at how others can possible help you to achieve this objective in the time you have?
When can you achieve this? Look at the level of the tasks at hand, and evaluate the length of time each task would take you.
Once you have the information to hand, communicate this to all concerned, get their agreement and understanding on what you can and cannot do in the timescales give, and then you can begin to work towards your objective.

Review your goal. Hannah More wrote, “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.”…

Always keep yourself focused on what it is your are trying to achieve. Remember, if you have your goal as a vision in your minds eye it will eventually become reality in the real world, but you do need to focus.
Go back over your goal regularly to ensure you are on track to achieving it. If you are not, then you may have to make some adjustments to ensure you can still achieve that goal.
Obstacles will always come up in the way, they are called ‘life’. Do not stay still when faced with an obstacle, look at how you can work around or over it, but get round them one way or another. Never make excuses of things becoming in the way of your goal / objective. The only thing stopping you achieving those goals or objectives is YOU.

Realize that stress is caused by fear. Fear is not a thing. It’s just a thought… Give yourself positive thoughts to dispel those fears.

Step back and see the big picture….
Sometimes, we just have to “feel the fear and do it any way”.

Give yourself a pep talk…

Have faith in yourself and what you are able to do, this will dispel the ‘fear fairy’ who takes great joy in feeding on your fear and builds it up no end. Play down the fear and go with your gut instincts.
Sometimes we have to fail in order to succeed…..
If you are into ‘mantra’s’ then devise one to say to yourself in such times. The most important thing is not what others tell us, but what we tell ourselves.. If we tell ourselves negative things, we will begin to believe them, and therefore fulfil our own self limiting prophecy. So tell yourself positive things and motivate yourself to get positive outcomes.

Do it now. Develop the habit of doing what you need to do when the thought comes to you…”

Colette Morris has owned two online business for the last 5 years and prior to that has worked as a Consultant Project Manager and Analyst working across Public and Private Industries. Her passion and hobbies include health and well being, personal development and helping others to achieve their potential.

See how Colette is helping others achieve their potential at http://www.bewealthywithme.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Colette_Morris
http://EzineArticles.com/?Developing-Coping-Skills-Within-Stressful-Situations&id=1873072

Filed Under: Coping Skills, Stress Management Tagged With: coping, handling stressful situations, self improvement, stress management

How to Handle a Job Rejection

March 18, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Susanna Cha -

In recent years, there have been more and more graduates looking for graduate jobs when they leave university, and it can be very difficult to find yourself a placement as soon as you finish your course. Although it is necessary to approach job applications and interviews with a positive attitude in order to show that you are a generally positive person, you must treat rejection as a natural part of job searching, or you may find yourself becoming depressed very quickly.

Graduate jobs are highly competitive, but what you must also remember is that the people recruiting graduates can be much more sympathetic with the difficulties of getting a job and will often give you constructive feedback on your CV and interview skills should they reject you. This is a vital opportunity to fine tune your skills.

Gain experience
In addition, treat each interview not simply as a waste of time should you be rejected, but experience in interview skills. Try something new each time: become an expert at researching the company before you go to the interview; learn your ‘strengths and weaknesses’ speech off by heart; and learn whether it’s best to accept or reject that offered cup of coffee.

Apply everywhere
Apply to jobs that you never would have thought you wanted. Just to find out more. Because you would be surprised at how often jobs are advertised in a way that makes them seem incredibly boring or irrelevant, when they are actually right up your street. And also because you might discover something new that you love. The time for experimenting does not have to end when you leave university. Companies are much more likely to employ somebody who does not specialise in the subject that they have applied for when they are young and more able to be trained than when they are older and have exhausted all other opportunities.

Keep yourself busy
Job rejection does not have to be a bad thing. You could discover things that you never imagined from having to apply for that job that you previously thought was not good enough for you, or gain vital experience for your CV by doing charity work to keep your days busy while you are going through the application process. Think of it as a positive thing – a chance to try new things, and a period of time in which you can work on making yourself even more eligible for the next job that you apply to.

This post was written by UK based writer, Susanna Cha on behalf of Guardian Jobs, including graduate jobs, marketing jobs and more.

Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: how to handle job rejection, job rejection, self improvement

Job Loss – Stages and Strategies For Coping

March 11, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Jane Finkle -

Are you one of the many talented and competent professionals who have suddenly fallen victim to a company lay off or termination? As you struggle with fear over losing financial stability, you may also find yourself on an emotional roller coaster. Knowing the best ways to deal with job loss will help you to recover your dignity and self-esteem and move forward in finding a new job with confidence and optimism.

Grieving Process

Losing a job follows the stages of grief similar to the death of close friend or relative. Initially you may have reacted to the news of your job termination with shock and disbelief. Often this stage of grief is followed by strong emotions of anger, fear or sadness. You might secretly blame yourself for the termination regardless of how irrational your reasons are or feel that all the quality time and effort you put into your work went unappreciated. People respond in different ways to job loss, but during this period it helps to surround yourself with people who are supportive and not judgmental.

Work and Identity

It is important to realize that in our culture, many of us define part of who we are by what we do in the workplace. When you meet people for the first time, one way you get to know them is by asking them questions about what they do. Since you lost your job, it is likely that you are feeling a loss of identity. The isolation combined with a general confusion about your current value in the world may cause depression or sense of shame and embarrassment. As long as you recognize and acknowledge these feelings, you will be able to work through this difficult period and eventually move forward.

Crisis as an Opportunity

While you are likely to be distressed over losing your job, you may be surprised to discover that this transition period can be a unique opportunity to carefully evaluate your experience, talents and skills and generate new career and lifestyle options that may potentially bring more satisfaction and reward than your former job.

How to Begin Moving Forward

Accept the range of emotions you might feel as result of losing your job. If you find that you are experiencing severe depression, loss of sleep and appetite, lack of energy and focus or intense sadness and anxiety, seek assistance from a mental health professional.

Take stock of your financial situation including severance, unemployment benefits, healthcare and savings. Be sure you clearly understand the stipulations and seek out experts if you need additional support and resources.

Consider hiring a career counselor or coach who can work with you to carefully evaluate your experience, skills and values and help you come up with viable career or job options as well as an action plan to achieve your goals. Especially in this current economy, it may take 6 months to a year to find a new job

Keep professionally active by building and maintaining your network. Meet former colleagues for lunch or coffee, attend conferences or workshops or participate in professional association events. These contacts might eventually be helpful as you begin your job search

Consider taking a non credit class or credit course to enhance your professional knowledge and credentials. This will also keep you stimulated and energized

Volunteer. A chance to give back even in a small way can be very satisfying and rewarding and you will benefit by using your time constructively

Exercise, Diet and Meditation. This goes without saying but especially during difficult periods, a healthy lifestyle can go a long way in fighting depression and keeping you motivated

Finally…live your life even if you are on a limited budget. There are many inexpensive ways to maintain your interests and keep your mind active. Think of your situation as temporary and imagine a better future.

Jane has over 20 years experience in helping individuals with career assessment, transition planning, job search strategies, action plans, and workplace adjustment. She counsels and coaches individuals at all levels and in all types of work settings and provides outplacement services to organizations.

Prior to founding Career Visions, she worked in career development at the University of Pennsylvania where she created and led the “Wharton Career Discovery” seminar and served as liaison to recruiters from major corporations. Jane served as a delegate for National Career Development Association/People to People Ambassador Program in China. She currently provides training and coaching to emerging women leaders in non profits through the Valentine Foundation and is a vetted coach for the Wharton MBA Alumni Consortium of Coaches.

Career Visions: http://www.careervisions.cc

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jane_Finkle
http://EzineArticles.com/?Job-Loss—Stages-and-Strategies-For-Coping&id=3891638

Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping skills, job loss, seeking employment, self improvement

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