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How to Cope With Failure the Smart Way in Your Life

March 4, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

So if you are like everybody else, the moment you face any failure or obstacles in your life, you will tell yourself two things. The first thing is that you will tell yourself it is too difficult and it is impossible for you to achieve it. The second thing is that you will tell yourself you are just not hard working enough and you need to work harder the next time.

Are these two the best solution to cope with failure? Which one do you think is the best solution? Both are not the best solution. These are not the things you should do the moment you fail in to achieve what you want. Many people thought that if they have the determination and commitment, they can handle failure easily and they will eventually succeed in the end. True, but for me, success is about hard work plus smart work.

If you are just depending on hard work alone, you are going to waste a lot of energy and time into coping with failures in your life. If you are someone who is committed to success, when you face any obstacles in your way, you will try harder to cope with it. However, this is not the smart way. That is why most people fail to achieve what they want in their life, because they are not doing it the smart way.

The smart way is this, the moment you face any failure or obstacles in your way, you should change your strategies first, and then only take the necessary action. Let’s say your goal is to make a lot of money from your fruit-selling business. But all you have is just a fruit stall, so how can you make a lot of money out from it? If you are just like everybody else, you will work harder and put in more time into your business. And if you cannot make a lot of money out of it, maybe you will give up or you will try harder again, with the same strategies.

Guess what, with the same strategies, you will get back the same old results. This is what many people will do, they never actually realize that they are doing the same thing over and over again, but hope to see different results. Well, maybe you can succeed this way, but I can assure you, you have to put in a lot of time and effort to make it happen. Therefore, do things differently and get results you want.

Now, take back the fruit business example, so with different strategies, how can you make a lot of money from it? For instance, you can greatly invest in expanding your market; invest in research and development, create a super fruit brand of your own, widen your fruit range and look for more suppliers then franchise your business. Can you see it now? With different approach, you definitely will get different results. If you stick with the same strategies, you will get back the same results, which is the one that you don’t want.

As you can see now, the moment you face any obstacles or failures in your life, the first thing you need to do is to run a post-mortem to your strategies. Ask yourself why your strategies don’t work and how can you improve them to achieve what you want in your life. This is the smart way of achieving success in your life.

So if you are doing things the old way and you are not seeing the results you want, then it is time for you to change your strategies. Only by changing your strategies, you will get different results. I’m not saying that you will succeed once you changed your strategies, but by doing so, you will move yourself toward the right direction. And this is what success all about, finding the right path to avoid failure.

This article is written by Shawn Lim, someone who constantly pursue wealth and success. You can visit his blog here for more success and wealth creation tips.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping with failure, failure, self improvement

Coping With Crisis

February 26, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Jim Moustakas -

Coping is defined as “ongoing cognitive and behavioral efforts to manage specific external and/or internal demands that are appraised as taxing or exceeding the resources of the person.” Coping skills refer to effective behavior an individual uses in responding to or avoiding sources of stress. Typical coping skills include getting new information, preplanning, and asserting control over emotions and impulses. There are a number of ways to cope, ranging from positive (e.g., strategic planning and emotional support seeking) to negative (e.g., self harm, substance use and avoidance).

The two most commonly discussed styles of coping are, problem-focused coping which focuses on changing or managing the source of stress and emotion-focused coping, which looks to regulate the emotion response caused by the crisis. Some researchers have identified a third style of coping, avoidance-focused coping which may be defined as “attempts to avoid directly confronting the stressor or reduce emotional tension indirectly through such behaviour as smoking or drinking.”

Problem-focused coping has been shown to be effective strategy, especially if one feels, at least somewhat in control of the situation. If the individual does not think they have control over the situation (or does not have control) problem-focused coping is less effective. In these cases, many individuals can use emotional coping strategies. Some research has indicated negative outcomes of certain emotional coping strategies, such as wishful thinking or self-blame, however, other emotional coping strategies are beneficial, such as positive reappraisal. There are other factors that work alongside problem-focused and emotion-focused coping.

Social support has been examined as a key factor of the crisis-coping process. Seeking support is seen as a positive method of emotional coping. Support seeking involves using your close personal relationships in order to cope with the stress. Individuals can use their social network to assist in eliminating or modifying the conditions that lead to the crisis or they can mobilize their network to assist in minimizing the emotional consequences of the crisis. People coping with crisis can find it useful to obtain advice, information and feedback from close social contacts to help deal with the situation.

Coping strategies are generally defined by specific behavioural and psychological efforts that people make in order to tolerate, reduce, or minimize events that are felt as being stressful. Problem-focused can include several stages including the planning process, eliminating other options, taking action, or even choosing to wait before taking action. Emotion-focused coping however, has been found to be more helpful in the long run while problem-focused coping is helpful more immediately.

Avoidance coping is utilized when the individual appraises a stressor as requiring coping resources that they lack, in which case they are more likely to use avoidance coping (e.g., denial and and avoiding thoughts about the stressor.

There are many coping strategies that can help you work through a crisis. Life can through unexpected experiences and it may seem easier to deal with the crisis in a negative way but there are strategies that can help you move past the present crisis. Talk to one of our counsellors at mylifeassistant.com to get more information.

Jim Moustakas
http://www.mylifeassistant.com

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: adjusting to change, coping skills, dealing with stress, self improvement

Do You Possess Coping Skills?

February 19, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Jahiel Kamhi

The weather was prefect for an outdoor birthday party. I was there with a group of friends. The celebrator, I’ll call her Helen, was a very spiritual and interesting person. She was very gifted: a writer, dancer, musician and poet. How is it possible to be so skillful?

During our conversation, I asked her, “Helen, what are the most useful skills you possess?”

“Coping skills,” was her quick response.

Do you want to know more about coping skills? Read about my conversation with Helen, and you will learn a lot.

Me: “Helen, I am surprised that you mentioned that coping skills were your most useful skills. Why is that? Did you lose someone close to you?”

Helen: “Thank God, no. You have misunderstood what I meant by coping. Coping does not only involve dealing with the stress of a death in the family. It also could mean dealing with changes that come with the birth of the baby, moving to another city, getting a job promotion, or the stress of driving on the highway, or arguing with family members or a friend. For any stressful situation we need to possess coping skills. Simply put, we need to know how to deal with a new situation. It is a behavioral tool we use to overcome adversity or stress.

Me: “How did you learn your coping skills, or do you believe you were born with them?”

Helen: “I have learned my skills from many different sources, and through observing what works for me. The range of successful coping skills varies widely and their use depends on the problem. I believe that the learning, sharing and practicing of coping skills are generally very helpful. Personally, I use many different techniques, such as relaxation response, exercises with deep breathing, meditation, cognitive behavior therapy methods and I listen to classical music. One of my very useful techniques is self-talk. What we say to ourselves and how we say it is crucial in gaining coping skills.

My advice is to watch your language when you talk to yourself. With your self talk, you are programming yourself for better or worse. Forgiveness and thankfulness are also very useful coping skills.

Me: “How do I learn all these skills?”

Helen: “Just through practice. Those who want to gain coping skills need to learn these by themselves”.

Me: “Is ‘walking in someone else’s shoes’ good to use as a coping technique?”

Helen: “This works very well for me. If I can understand another person’s behavior, I can help myself.”

Me: “We are talking about coping skills. May I ask you for the definition of coping skills?”

Helen: “There are so many definitions. One of them is a ‘complex set of internal beliefs, emotions, and behaviors that we learn from a young age’. Another one is ‘flexibility and personal control in approaching any problem and recognizing your own strengths’. My definition of coping skills is ‘a healthy way of addressing situations.’”

Me: “Does acceptance work well as a coping skill?”

Helen: “Sure it does. Sometimes, there is not much to be done about particular situation. Can you change the weather or the traffic? Acceptance can be a good coping skill – it all depends on circumstances. I call acceptance dealing with the situation.”

Me: “Recently, I heard a person say she had no coping skills at all. Could this be correct?”

Helen: “In my opinion, it is not correct to say that. Virtually all living beings routinely utilize different coping skills in daily life. Some people are more successful and skilful in doing this than others. The good thing is that we can improve our ability to use coping mechanisms, if we want to do that.”

Me: “Why is it important to learn and use coping skills?”

Helen: “I’ll mention just a few reasons. The first reason is to reduce the intensity of the emotional distress you feel. Stress is very harmful to our bodies. In the act of trying to escape from emotional distress, you might possibly do something harmful to yourself or to another person. The second reason is very important. When you handle a difficult situation, you build your self-confidence.”

Me: “When you are feeling an intense emotion, it can be hard to know what to do.”

Helen: “You need to learn from experience and understand what works best for you. There is no magical formula for the best remedy to overcome a challenging situation. You need to know what is available ‘on the market’ to use as coping skills, and practice them. As you know, mastery requires practice.”

Me: “What about prayer?”

Helen: “I am spiritual person. Prayer works for me, but I am not sure whether it does for others. I have a friend who calls me whenever any problem arises. Calling another person to chat could be useful. Again, it depends on many things. Doing something nice for someone else is a good coping skill for me. It can really reduce emotional pain.”

Me: “Helen, you are very familiar with coping skills!”

Helen: “Thank you. May I add something? Do not use alcohol or drugs in order to cope with difficulties. The escape is only temporary and you’ll end up with greater problems.”

Me: “Thank you Helen.”

Jahiel Yasha Kamhi
jasakamhi@hotmail.com

Jahiel- Yasha- Kamhi holds a degree in Medical Biochemistry and a Bachelor’s degree in Chemistry. Jahiel is passionate about writing, and conveying positive ideas that help people live life with more passion and purpose. His mission is to promote a good mental and physical health. Jahiel’s core message is to inspire and encourage people, to give them hope and help them live their everyday life.

Being thankful for what is good in life rather than focusing on the negative is his message. With hope, all things are possible.

He writes regularly for online Newsletter http://www.personal-development.com and magazines. Jahiel delivers customized presentations, inspiring others to find more meaning and balance in their lives.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: changeability, coing skills, resilience, self improvement

Do Changes Put You Over the Top? Learn Coping Skills – 5 Ways to Reduce Stress

February 12, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Rosalie Moscoe -

Do you thrive on changes in life? Most hate it. Many people eat the same foods every day; take the same route to work or even stay in the same job for 35 years; others change jobs every five years. For many, routine is stability; for others, it’s stagnation. It all depends on your perception!

Some changes in everyday life we can plan. Some we cannot; life happens. Normal life events such as pregnancy, changing jobs, a high mortgage, a son or daughter leaving home can send us into a spin. Even vacations and holidays such as Christmas can be stressful for some.

Top 10 Life Changes That Cause Stress Burn Out

Awareness is key. According to Holmes-Rae Life Stress Inventory, the following are the top ten changes that can cause serious stress symptoms: Death of a spouse, divorce, marital separation, jail term, death of a close family member, personal injury or illness, getting married, getting fired at work, marital reconciliation, retirement.

Five Ways to Cope With Changes in Our Life

1) Realize that it’s the transition period after the event that can be the most difficult. You may feel like you’re in limbo, treading on unsure ground. You likely feel tremendous loss. These are normal feelings after life altering events. They won’t last forever.

2) Try to do familiar things: take your pet for the usual walk, eat foods you’re used to, frequent familiar restaurants, watch favorite movies.

3) Talk to someone about the changes and how they affect you. This can be a great way to reduce stress.

4) Do your best to see the change as the glass half full instead of half empty. For example: You lose your job. You sit inside your home and worry about your bills. Instead, look for a new job that you feel you will enjoy more than the last, one that is more suited to your skills. Or learn a new skill. This can be scary, yet exciting.

5) If you can see nothing positive about a particular change in your life, make a list of all the things and people you’re grateful for. Note successes that you’ve had. Repeat these to yourself often. These positive psychology ideas can help in changing negative thinking.

Most of the time, we can’t plan ahead for deaths in the family, floods, power failures or computer crashes. Eventual acceptance of those difficult events and recognizing other positive features in your life will help you to reduce stress. Know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Rosalie Moscoe helps people reduce stress, boost morale and live healthy, energetic lives. Stress Relief and Nutritional Consultant, she is author of print and e-book, Frazzled Hurried Woman! Your Stress Relief Guide to Thriving…Not Merely Surviving. Visit: http://www.healthinharmony.com.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: adjusting to change, coping skills, dealing with stress, self improvement

Improve Your Coping Skills For Depression

February 5, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Max Wardlow -

Developing healthy coping skills for depression is essential in the high stress environment many of us are faced with today. The World Health Organization estimates are that depression is the fourth largest, most expensive and most disabling illness in the world today, and they expect this trend to continue for the next decade.

If you’re experiencing depression, you not alone. In varying degrees we’re all affected by trauma. Unresolved emotions are usually involved in symptoms of depression. A certain amount of emotional trauma is inevitably involved in being human. Many of us may be carrying around unresolved emotions left over from childhood.

We don’t usually understand how sensitive we are as children and since children have not yet developed skills for resolving trauma, it’s often necessary at the time to develop a coping strategy that may become counterproductive in adulthood.

Some researchers believe that most illness and disease has at its root, unresolved emotional issues which are being unconsciously suppressed. On the subject of coping skills for depression, we must consider that the very coping tactics that we’ve adopted may be helping to cause the depression.

One of the most common coping tactics is avoidance. In order to avoid our uncomfortable emotions we try to lose ourself in some activity. Overwork, sex, surfing the Net, food and shopping are some of the things we use to try to “forget our pain.” Of course there’s nothing wrong with any of these activities, but if our main reason for doing them is to avoid painful emotions, they will probably be less than satisfying.

Since we’ve all been conditioned and trained to suppress emotions that we were taught were “negative”, learning to make room for these feelings is a productive coping skill for depression.

To be honest, learning to make room for difficult emotions is not for sissies. We may want a “quick fix”, and there are legal prescription drugs that may seem to provide this, but the only real long-term solution is committing to your own emotional healing and growth process.

For the difficult issues involved in child and/or sexual abuse, professional therapy would be the safest and best course of action. Many self help options are available to help with less severe issues.

In today’s fast paced and quickly changing world, it’s not uncommon to experience some level of depression or anxiety on a consistent basis. Under these conditions, stress management skills are a necessity.

Focused relaxation training like neurofeedback, biofeedback and meditation can help you develop coping skills for depression and learn to diffuse stress before it can undermine you by building to unhealthy levels. Another easy way to reduce stress is through regular, enjoyable physical exercise.

Max Wardlow writes from experience about anxiety and depression. He also helps manage a website about natural remedies where you can find out more about natural depression support.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping skills, coping with depression, self improvement

Tips For Coping With Loneliness

January 29, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

By Ruma Sen -

Loneliness can be felt at any point in life. You may lead a very active and socially full life, and yet feel lonely in a crowd. The point is, that one has to realize that you are your best friend. You cannot rely on any one or two individuals to constantly shepherd you, hear you out, or even agree with you on any single point. In fact, if you are lucky to have even one good friend who can understand you and be there for you 24 hours a day and seven days a week, then you are indeed very blessed.

With age and children leaving the nest, most women find themselves caught in a quagmire of anxiety, hopelessness and despair. If they dig a little deeper, they will find out that all the energy spent on negative thinking, can be turned around, and that children leaving the parental home does not spell the end of life. Allow yourself the liberty of dreaming pleasant thoughts when the time comes to wave off your young ones off to college. Imagine what all you dreamed of doing while they were around you, but couldn’t do, due to their schooling and other responsibilities. Realize that of course, you (and your spouse) will continue being good parents, and always be there for your children, to guide them and encourage them at any given point.

Rediscover yourself with engaging in your hobbies. Remember the time you had always wanted to complete and oil painting but couldn’t, due to your constant preoccupation with the children? Or the musical instrument you always wanted to learn to play, but couldn’t, due to the paucity of time? Or the time when you and your husband or your best friends always wanted to go on a particular sightseeing trip, but were tied up again, due to kids and their never ending responsibilities? Of course, time can’t grant you your days of youthfulness again, but learn to feel thankful that, having done your work of parenting so successfully when it was required the most, you are now free to pursue your dreams, and live life exactly the way you want it.Keeping your mind distracted with mentally stimulating work and good company of family and friends is a must to ward off any negative thoughts that may prove to be roadblocks on your way to a happier and fuller life, at this point. Pay attention to your health, both mental and physical, for they are the keystones on which our lives revolve. Avoid people with whom you do not share a comfortable relationship with: for they will only underline your need to feel low. Life is beautiful at any stage: it is up to us to finish this grand canvas with a flourish. Meditation, exercise, a bit of spirituality and acceptance will make it all the more easier to keep the machinery of our lives well greased to the end. Maturity, courage, a calm mind, and a steady will, are the positive fall outs of having a great attitude toward life in general, and dealing with ourselves in particular. Having said this, there is no need to let loneliness get the better of you.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping with lonliness, lonliness, self improvement

Anger Coping Skills and Tips – Self Talk

January 15, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Nick Mutt -

Trainers should use all the four common teaching methods – instruction, modeling, role play, and feedback. Trainers will need to educate about how our opinion can influence our approach and behavior. If an important person bumps into us and we tell ourselves that he did this on reason, we are more likely to get distress. However, if we tell ourselves that it was a misfortune, we are less likely to get distress. If we give ourselves good commands during the infuriating condition, we will be more likely to respond suitably. In this article you will find effective anger coping skills and tips.

To educate how to manage anger, discuss with students the underlying principle for the topic. Provide information about how our opinion can influence our emotions. Just as other people can make us feel annoyed by what they say, we can get ourselves distress by what we say to ourselves. Give the few examples – Our manager shouts at us. If we think that he is out to acquire us, we will get angry. If we think that he is just having an awful day, we may not get angry.

Our colleagues spill something on some copies we just completed. If we think he is out to get us fired or into problem, we will be irritated. If we tell ourselves it was just an accident, we are less likely to irritate. Our spouse comes home not on time. If we think he/she is cheating on us, we will get angry. Or, if we think he/she has been an accident, we may feel concerned. Our child is creating dramas in the store. If we think he is doing it on reason and all of the people in the store are irritated with us, we may get distress. If we think that there is something incorrect with the child and most people maybe don’t care, we are less likely to get distress.

A colleague brings us a card for our birthday or anniversary. If we think he actually likes us and wants to spend some time with us, we may have feelings of magnetism and a desire to spend some time with him/her. If we think that he is just being kind, we will have approach of friendship, but may not have loving feelings. Pick a role-play and have a student practice the coping abilities to control anger. The student should practice deep breathing while the instructor says the self-statements for the student. Using the same role-play, have the student do deep breathing while he/she makes the statements out loud.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: coping skills, coping with anger, self improvement, self talk

Effective Coping Skills in the Treatment of Eating Disorders

January 8, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

By Jeanne Rust, Phd -

It has long been my contention that eating disorders are chronic, stress-related conditions where people, oftentimes at a very young age, begin to use eating disordered behaviors as a way of coping with stress in their lives. Initially many of these people discover that the eating disorder works quite well for them. In most cases they have never had the opportunity to learn healthy coping strategies.

Researchers have defined three kinds of coping: problem-focused, emotion-focused, and perception-focused coping. The skills and responses a person uses in times of stress may be different depending on how severely they are stressed.

When an individual uses problem-focused coping, they will take direct action on their surroundings or themselves to remove or attempt to change the threat. A person will use emotion-focused coping when he or she uses actions or thoughts to control unpleasant feelings brought on by the threat. When a person uses cognitive attempts to reduce or alter the severity of a threat, he or she is using perception-focused coping.

Another way of regarding coping strategies is to look at approach coping and avoidance coping. An individual who utilizes approach coping skills is someone who will usually take direct action to deal with the situation that is creating stress. Someone who is uses avoidance strategies is someone who will go to any lengths to avoid the situation or person who is creating stress in their lives.

Those individuals with excellent social resources will tend to rely more on approach coping than avoidance coping. Individuals who have sufficient support from family and friends will rely less on avoidance coping methods and rely more on approach coping methods. Ot makes sense to me that if I have something stressful happen in my life that things will be better if I take action and deal with it rather than avoiding it!

Coping skills include information gathering, stopping a certain behavior or action, and using cognitive coping skills that can change the way the person looks at the problem. Coping skills have been defined as learned resourcefulness or a set of skills which a person uses to control certain internal events that might cause him or her unwanted pain, feelings, or fear.

Here are some healthy and effective coping skills that anyone can use:

· Boost your self-esteem by becoming involved in activities that interest you. Discover your passion!

· Go online and talk with an online friend.

· Imagine yourself in a safe place where you do not need to think about doing anything that is harmful to yourself.

· Make a list of positive affirmations. Pick one, look at yourself in the mirror and say if morning and night for 21 days. The affirmation will become a part of you!

· Get a massage. You can get pretty inexpensive massages at any school that teaches massage.

· Walk your dog or play with you cat.

· Make a list of some nice things you would like to do for your friends.

· Think about taking some classes or doing something to help you discover your passion.

· Tell your parent, husband, partner, or friend that you love them.

· Make a list of what you are grateful for. This is tough when you are stressed, but if you write it down, the act of writing will help!

Learning effective coping skills can change your life!

Jeanne Rust, PhD is the CEO and Founder of Mirasol, a treatment program for women and teens with anorexia, bulimia, obesity, and binge eating disorder. Her treatment philosophy is integrative combining the best of the medical model of treatment with the most effective alternative ones. Learn more about eating disorders at http://www.mirasol.net

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Filed Under: Addiction Management, Coping Skills

Happiness and Joy – Do You Know the Difference?

January 1, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Kristen A Sheehan -

In my years of Coaching and Mentoring, it has become clear to me that most people are completely confused when it comes to the topics of happiness and joy. To a certain extent, these two words can be used interchangeably, but in reality, there is a significant difference between happiness and joy. It is important for people to understand this difference, before they are able to break the cycle of unhappiness in their life and experience real joy.

The difference is this: Happiness is conditional. Joy is constant.

Happiness is conditional. It is dependent. It is variable. Our “condition” or level of happiness varies depending on what we have or don’t have in our life. When we get what we want we feel happy. When we don’t get what we want we often feel unhappy or sad.

People frequently say to me, “Kristen, you’re always so happy!” “You’re always smiling!” For the most part this is true. I am happy quite a bit. However, I’m not happy allthe time. There are times when I am sad. But my smile is authentic — even when I’m sad, and the secret to my smile is joy.

Joy is very different from happiness. Joy is constant. Joy comes from the underlying knowing, with absolute certainty, that everything is exactly the way it should be, at any given moment. With joy, we are able to get through difficult times and move forward. Joy is what allows us to experience the death of a loved one yet celebrate their life. Joy reminds us that life is not over when we lose something we really like or when we fail to get something we desire. When we have joy, we can get through financial struggles, illness, loss, breakups, divorce, failure, set-backs, recovery from addictions and more. When we are living in joy, we do not struggle. After all, isn’t that the real goal for everyone — to live without struggle?

Joy, by its very nature, has its roots in a much deeper, stronger foundation than happiness. As a matter of fact, happiness is not rootedin anything at all. Instead, happiness is attached. Happiness is attached to things and people. Consequently, when the things and the people happiness is attached to come in and out of our life so does the happiness. Therefore, our real goal needs to be to find joy!

There are many ways to find joy but at the very basic level joy can be found through principled living. Principles are universal, fundamental laws of nature that work for all people who work them. Principles work even when we do not believe in them, agree with them, understand them or like them. Gravity is a great example. Gravity is a principle of nature. Whether you like it, agree with it, understand it, believe in it or not, gravity will work regardless the minute you or I jump off a building!

Live a life of principles such as surrender, faith, discipline, self-awareness, gratitude, forgiveness and service. This is one sure-fire way to obtain joy. Don’t be overly concerned with happiness…it ebbs and flows. Find joy. It is much more sustainable and gratifying.

If you really enjoyed this article and would like to learn more about how you can break the cycle of unhappiness in your life so that you can live in joy, Kristen A Sheehan invites you to pick up your FREE audio download “Seven Simple Strategies to Break Out of Unhappiness and Change Your Life so that You Can Live in Joy” at http://livingjoytoday.com

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Filed Under: Coping Skills Tagged With: Happiness and joy, self improvement, the difference between happiness and joy

Coping Skills to Help You Deal With Stress

December 27, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Janie Behr -

Whether a challenging event or circumstance has a stressful effect depends on your coping skills. Your reaction to a stressful event is related to:

Whether you perceive the situation as threatening or undesirable

Whether you feel you have some control over the situation

Whether you respond to the challenge in ways that interfere with your taking care of yourself

When faced with a stressful situation that you cannot control, it is important for you to know that there are other elements of your life that you can control.

Control what you can——–this helps break the stress cycle by counteracting the negative effects of feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. In times of stress, it is crucial that you take care of yourself. Only then can you deal with a demanding situation or help others. Among the things that you can control are your posture and body language, muscular tension, breathing, exercise and diet. Other useful techniques are:

Learn pacing

Learn to say no

Learn to assert yourself

Get enough sleep

Allow enough time for relaxation techniques

Don’t think you have to do it all

Allow sufficient exercise time for gentle muscle stretching

Make sure you are getting proper nourishment (THAT INCLUDES WATER)

Decrease or eliminate your intake of stress-inducing substances, including cocaine, marijuana, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, and prescription drugs, especially analgesics, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, diet pills and muscle relaxants. ASK YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE REDUCING OR ELIMINATING ANY PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION.

In making all of these changes, you are exercising control over important aspects of your life.

Janie Behr is a qualified life coach specializing in helping people find their purpose, achieve their goals, and explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. She is available for private individual coaching, group coaching and public speaking engagements. She runs frequent teleseminars dedicated to helping people find and live their most positive lives! For more information please visit http://www.jblifecoach.com.

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Filed Under: Coping Skills, Stress Management Tagged With: coping skills, dealing with stress. coping with stress, self improvement

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