Simply put addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior despite adverse consequences and physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by incorporating the substance into its ‘normal’ functioning. Addiction is something we hear about frequently in today’s world and it affects all ethnic groups, all socioeconomic levels and all ages. When we think of addictions we generally think of the “drug junkie” or the alcoholic because that’s what we hear about the most. Those are the most obvious and most dramatic addictions but they are not the only ones we need to consider.
Get real. Addictions are not that uncommon. Think about your own life (after all, your life is the only one you can really change). What behavior do you repeat even though it may cost you money, family, friends, status, or health? Some people are addicted to:
Computers and computer games
Dissension and turmoil
You can probably think of many more
That is, as you noticed, not a nice list and you may feel a little uncomfortable and annoyed by it. If you are, you’d better take some time to ponder it.
My point is, many of us, in our effort to “feel good about ourselves” or just “feel good” in some way, have developed habits that lead to an addiction - We want to feel better and, if gossiping about someone else makes us feel better, we may do so—until we are not even aware of doing it. It’s a bad habit and may have become an addiction. The same with any of the things on that list.
Most of us know someone who will tell a lie when the truth would serve better or who shops because they are bored and shopping gives them some kind of high. We know people who panic if they have to turn off their cell phone or spend every moment possible at the gym. You may know someone who is addicted to control—we call them control freaks—they have to be in control of every situation—their own, yours, and everyone else around. Like those addicted to drugs and alcohol, they just want to find a way to be happy, to feel good.
We look at the drug addict and the alcoholic. Their addictions may have done serious harm to themselves and those they love, and society may “write them off.” What if society wrote you off because you are a human being
It is easy to judge and condemn and I ask you, before you do that, to take a look at your own life and identify what your own addiction might be. The Native Americans had a wonderful saying about not judging a person until you walked a mile in his moccasins. All the sacred writings talk about not judging another and that includes yourself. They also talk about forgiveness.
Love is the great healer. For yourself, for others. We all want happiness. We all want to feel good.
This morning as I was in the process of waking up (very slowly) my mind started reviewing the week and wrapped around the thought of self definition. On the radio show my first question of every guest is “Tell us about yourself. Who is ___________ (their name). The answers are always interesting. Some have never though about it and sputter a little bit. Often they reply with a job description or a list of relationships. Some give a profound answer that blows me away. All are fascinating in their own way and are always quite meaningful.
After brushing up my own definition of me, I finally decided it was time to get the daily routine started so, still in PJs, I wandered into my office and turned the computer on, made a cup of coffee and sat down to get the day going. Email usually comes first and generally helps me get more fully awake.
I was startled by a LinkedIn message from a group called “Professional Women’s Network.” It asked the question,
“If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?”
Well, I’m awake now, thank you very much!
I read some of the responses. Wow! Some of them were magnificent!
I’m working on mine and I’m going to toss the challenge at you.
If you had to write a warning label for yourself, what would it say? This exercise will bring you giant rewards in self awareness.
It can range from “Warning: explodes easily” to “Warning. Enthusiasm contagious” to—whatever is true of you. Give it some thought. Seriously.
I’d love to hear what you have to say.
Thanks Professional Women’s Network. You’ve made my day!
We all have fears. Some fears are rational: fear of falling from a high place, fear of embarrassment, fear of dangerous creatures. However most of our fears are irrational: fear of failure, fear of the criticism of others, fear of everyday life. These sorts of fears can hold us back from experiencing our lives in a full way. Instead, we live fearfully, scurrying from work to home and doing our best to avoid anything new. However most of the joys in life come from trying new things, even if you fail at first. Here are some ways to overcome fear and enjoy life:
Take One Small Step – The first step is always the hardest. Stepping out of your comfort zone is very hard for most of us to do and leaping out is usually just not in the cards. However you can take small steps. Take a new road on your way home. Talk to someone you don’t know while you are waiting in line. Try a new restaurant or entertainment type. Listen to a new radio station or style of music. Join a new forum or read a new blog. There are many small ways to step out and experience something new with minimal risk. One you realize it is not so bad you may be encouraged to keep trying. But even if something goes wrong, you will find that your worst fears were probably far worse than what actually happened.
Do Some Research – Another thing that helps to overcome fear is knowledge. Many of us are afraid of what we are unfamiliar with or do not understand. Pick something new you want to try and then do some research on it. See if you can get some insider knowledge without actually having to experience it first. That way the experience is not totally foreign to you and you will be able to enjoy it more. The internet is a great resource for learning new things about almost any subject. You do not have to become an authority on the subject, but if you get the general idea you will not feel as overwhelmed or lost when the time comes.
Get Professional Help –If fear is really affecting your life you may need professional help. Although it can be scary to reach out to someone many professionals are willing and able to help you work through the process. If you do not click with one right away do not give up. Try again and you are sure to find someone who can help you through your fear and onto a better life style. Some anxieties may require prescription medications that require a psychiatrist to prescribe. However they do not usually offer much time to talk. Psychologists are doctors that do talk but cannot prescribe medication. Counselors are a more affordable option if medication and a doctorate is not required.If you do not have the money or the insurance coverage to provide this service do not give up. There are many ways to get help without having to pay a lot of money for it. Many not for profit companies offer help as well as places of worship. Some professionals also offer discount rates based on your income or payment plans.
Force Social Interaction – Many of us have social fears. We do not go to parties or work outings or even to bars or clubs because we do not feel confident in our social abilities. However many social abilities are learned or can be learned. All it takes is practice. One way to overcome social fears is to force social interactions. I have found it helpful to be in charge of these interactions to reduce my anxiety. I can plan where, when, how long and who is invited to my social gatherings. By being ‘in charge’ I feel more confident and less worried about what I need to do. Even if you just plan to meet an old classmate for dinner or a coworker for a drink you can practice overcoming your fears and enjoy yourself.
Take a Friend– Last but not least, I find it is far less intimidating to go to a social event or have a new experience when a friend is with me. A sibling, a parent, a spouse, or a coworker can accompany you on your new experience. Maybe it is new for them too and you can learn together. Or maybe they are familiar with it and can help you along. Either way, it is much easier with someone you are familiar with alongside. Sometimes the new person in a group or setting is not always greeted kindly. Do not take this personally. Instead try to keep going. You won’t always make friends or fit in right away but if you persevere you can find that people open up. Having a built in friend can help to lessen the feeling of isolation at first.
Remember that it is okay to fail. No one is good at everything. In fact, I have even found it is helpful to fail in new things. I can learn what not to do and ask for help from others. By failing I have opened myself up to learning and growing. You do not have to let fear hold you back. Usually our fear of what will happen is far worse than what actually happens. You learn to fear the fear! But you can move beyond it. It can start with small baby steps, but doing something new on a consistent basis is a great way to grow as a person and learn to enjoy a life free of overwhelming fear.
Elizabeth Reed is a freelance writer and a resident blogger at Liveinnanny.org. She particularly enjoys writing about parenting, childcare, health and wellness. In addition, she is an expert consultant on issues related to household management and kids.
For some it was a stretch to accept the idea of the wholeness of the individual—that we work as a unit with body, mind, emotions, and spirit working together and what affected one part affected the whole. If my emotions, for example, are seething with anger something will probably erupt in my body, my spirit will be affected and my mind shut down or go into super-worry. But Cardillo takes it a step—or several steps—further and posits that we are one with nature and the closer we live to nature and flow with its cycles, the more “whole” we are.
If you are a proponent of quantum physics and accept the understanding that we are energy and that everything in the Universe is energy, then this is not a torturous stretch of the mind but an acceptance of an unfolding awareness of who we truly are. This book is about that energy and how it ebbs and flows in cycles. If you accept the Cartesian idea that man is a machine you will have trouble wrapping your mind around it.
To me, The Five Seasons is a remarkable manual for increasing self-awareness and coming into alignment with what is happening within us as season change around us. Each season has its own message and its own challenges that impact on us in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Spring, for example, is when energy rises, things bloom and we look forward to new things.
The book has wonderful exercises, thoughts to ponder in meditation and questions that require reflection. I personally love the “Playlists” that Cardillo helps us to create for each season. For example, for winter he says, “Make a playlist of various natural water sounds. Use these to soothe you whenever you find yourself anxious this season.”
Cardillo states: “Change the way you understand and use nature’s energy and you will change your life.” He gives you ideas on how to do that.
This is not a book to “just read.” It is a book to sit with, to savor, to experience and everyone can can benefit from reading this book. It leaves you with lovely thoughts like “Smile with your mind. Just being out of doors will begin to activate your body’s ability to draw energy from the environment into itself.”
Beginning today, filmmaker Norm Hacker is releasing a free online stream of his 2012 documentary “Heal Your Self,” about taking responsibility for your health. The full-length (65-minute) film addresses the major factors commonly impacting health today:
Food and Nutrition
Meditation and Visualization
The Placebo Effect
The film features the advice and expertise of 17 expert presenters, including:
If you have not yet seen the film, you are welcome to view it at the link below. In the past year since the film was released on DVD, Norm has seen firsthand how viewers have made changes in their own lives and turned their health around. Now, he hopes that offering a free stream will reach even more people. For more about the film, please see below and if you’d like to speak to Norm, let me know.
‘Heal Your Self’ takes a deep dive into the effects of food, stress, environmental toxicity and the power of the mind in protecting your health
With a focus on creating positive lifestyle changes, Heal Your Self examines topics like food, emotional stress, environmental toxicity, self-education and the power of the mind. In Heal Your Self, first-time filmmaker Norm Hacker speaks to a diverse mix of doctors, researchers and survivors of serious conditions and illnesses including cancer, obesity and Crohn’s disease. These survivors took their health into their own hands, took charge of their lives, and healed themselves.
Heal Your Self features experts like Bernie Siegel MD, Seventh Generation co-founder Jeffrey Hollender, bestselling author John Gray and cancer survivor Susan Ryan Jordan (mother of actress Meg Ryan), as well as the voices of integrative health advocates, health researchers and scholars. With sincerity and candor, tough love and compassion, Heal Your Self offers practical, realistic advice and actionable information.
“If there already was a cure for cancer, if obesity rates weren’t rising, if the rates of disease were in decline, if our population was enjoying greater health and wellness, this film wouldn’t be necessary – but that’s not the case,” said Hacker. “How many Americans are in poor health, and how many have little or no access to medical care or health insurance? This film is intended as a journey of empowerment, to help you take control of your own health.”
“Heal Your Self offers a timely message to viewers: It’s time to abandon your past, find inspiration, use the information and take responsibility for your health,” said Dr. Siegel.
“If people haven’t grown up enough to understand that their health is in their own hands, they’re doomed,” said trend researcher Gerald Celente, one of the experts in Heal Your Self. “This film will educate many people and awaken them to their own power.”
Heal Your Self (region-free, 65 minutes, 4:3 NTSC color) is available online at www.healyourself.tv as a free stream or DVD.
Before we are able to focus on becoming the best we might be, and reaching the maximum potential, we must first commit to being objectively introspective, and evaluating what our strengths and weaknesses are. The reality is that many people overestimate their strengths, while minimizing the degree and depth of their weaknesses, and thus end up treading water, rather than progressing forward in a relevant and sustainable manner. Can you see yourself as others do? Even more essential, since you are by definition closer to you than others will ever be, can you see the true you? Essentially, we should all not only identify these strengths and weaknesses, but we should thoroughly consider how to take best advantage and use of our real strengths (and advantages), while realistically addressing our personal weaknesses to minimize any potential negative impact.
1. While our goal should to utilize our strengths while addressing our weaknesses, our path must include realistically addressing these in detail, and personally accepting and seeing ourselves the way we truly are. This is rarely a one time or overnight activity, but rather a longer term and consistent commitment to an introspective behavior and mindset. Have you ever taken a piece of paper, placed a vertical line down the center of the page, and place your strengths on the left side, while putting your weaknesses on the right side of the page? Why do you consider these your strengths and weaknesses? Why do you like those strengths, and what concerns you about the weaknesses? How do you take advantage of the strengths that you possess, while improving in weaker areas or arenas?
2. How much time do you actually spend considering yourself in a realistic or introspective manner? How do you assure that you remain objective rather than resorting to preferential subjectivity? Unless one commits to identifying and understanding both personal strengths, as well as weaknesses, it is nearly impossible to maximize one’s potential. Strengths should be considered those aspects of one’s mindset, intellect, behavior and modus that enhances his value, while weaknesses are any area that needs addressing in order to become better and more valuable!
Do you desire to be all you can be? Do you want to best use your personal assets in the most meaningful and impactful manner? If so, it is nearly always a necessity to know and understand both your strengths and weaknesses, and use this information in a constructive manner to create a plan that best potentiates your life planning!
Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, and Director of Development, as well as a consultant. He has professionally run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for over 30 years. Rich has written three books and well over a thousand articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead
Whenever I speak at a Communication Seminar, my audience is full of people with different needs.
Some are there because they consider themselves to be assertive but their friends, co-workers and family would label them aggressive. A small group is there because they hate telling others what they want or think. They learn in class that no one owns a crystal ball and so they need to develop the skills to speak up assertively and state their needs. And then the majority is there because they just can’t say no to anyone. They get taken advantage of personally as well as professionally. They feel saying no means that they are rejecting someone and they hate rejection themselves. They believe in being a “good team member” and they mistakenly believe saying “yes” is required if they want to hold on to that label. Each person in this group needs help in saying no – assertively…not aggressively or passively. So using the word “no” can actually help in advancing your career and getting you noticed as someone who is decisive, and values their time.
This tool is also imperative for life balance. Is that a problem in the great U S of A? You betcha! Today’s American worker is working 30 days more a year than just three years ago. We are asked to do more and more with fewer resources. Many of us are using our vacations to get control of the work load at home – painting, repairs, remodeling. If you can learn to say “no” more assertively and make better choices with your time – you will actually have more time to get done what you want to get done.
One of the problems with getting our lives into balance is that we are doing for everyone else in our life that there is no time left over for ourselves. Exercise program? Out of the question if you’re that Little League parent that shows for every game and practice, and the Sunday School teacher that never misses a class, and that babysitter on weeknights for your friends or family. Somewhere a long life’s path you must learn to say “NO” to others so that you can say “YES” to yourself.
Some passive communicators use an old tool called “white lies”. As our parents taught us – one lie leads to another. And then it becomes even more work to remember which lie you have told to whom to be able to keep all those stories straight. As you will read in other chapters of this book, avoidance is a tool never used by an expert communicator. So forget your white lies. With confidence and an even tone of voice, you can assertively make yourself clear and be heard. In fact, some people have been pushing and pushing you over the years…just waiting for you to say that two letter word…NO. So let’s get you started.
The first issue…volunteerism. I believe we are not put on this earth to take, take, take. We need to give back. Volunteerism is great! And you can be a good citizen WITHOUT giving your time away.
Remember, that old saying…you either have all the money in the world and no time to do anything with it or all the time in the world and no money to do anything with it? That’s a very useful tool to use when you need to say “no”. If your life is out of balance that it’s the time that you desperately need to have added to your life. How do you do that? Here are some real life examples and responses or techniques that can be implemented into your life to allow you to be savvy and successful with the word “no”.
1. Weekend Event Participation. The next time you’re asked to volunteer your Saturday for a charity event, here’s your reply.
“Thank you for thinking of me. No, I can’t give you that time to sell hotdogs at the game. I DO however want to support the league so let me cut you a check for $ ____ and where would I need to send that?” or
“No I’m not available. What a great opportunity for my children to donate to the community. What time should I send Craig?” or
“No, and that sounds like a great way to raise funds. I was thinking about donating some of our old toys and clothes to the upcoming big garage sale. When and where should I deliver those?”
2. Solicitors. Even if you are on the “do not call” list, sometimes a solicitor can catch you on the phone at night, on weekends, and at dinner. We hear their scripted dialogue and we really don’t have the time to listen to it. I usually give them the courtesy and allow them to finish their script (afterall it is THEIR job and I don’t want to be rude…everybody has to make a living. So here are several responses that have worked for me.
“Thank you for calling. No, I’ve already given to my designated charity for this year” or
“NO. I know you must value your time as I do mine, so please take me off of your list so that
you won’t be wasting your time again in the future. Thank you”. Or
“No thank you and I hope you have good luck with your other calls tonite. Goodbye.”
“No thank you, NO THANK YOU, NO THANK YOU” (Pausing between the no’s, escalating your tone, and strengthening of your voice). Remember tone of voice is just as important as the words you will use.
3. Interruptors. Alternate offerings have been used in several of our examples so far. By giving an alternate choice, you are helping the other person feel in control by allowing them to choose Option A or Option B. When doing this make sure you are the one coming up with the options because after all, you too are accepting which choice they make. Alternative choice is a good tool to use with people who interrupt your work day. Time management experts will tell you that you actually control very little of your day because of these interruptions. You take pride in getting as much done on your task list as possible yet, someone, maybe even your boss, drops by and requests that you stop everything and put priority on their project.
First of all you need to know that when someone asks “gotta minute?” You can tell them …”no now I’ve got 22″. Not really – you don’t have to be a smart alec – and yet in reality, the research shows that if you were in concentrated thought and working on something, when you are interrupted it will take you 22 minutes to re-focus at the level you were at BEFORE the interruption. Wow – that’s allot of time wasted. So my suggestion is to answer “gotta minute” this way…
“No, I’m working on something right now. I can talk with you at lunch (Option A) instead or after work (Option B)” or
“No, I’ve got 6 minutes. Can you tell me what you need in that time or do we need to reschedule?” One thing I have noticed is when you are specific about what time you DO have…people take notice. When I say I’ve got 6 minutes…they are thinking…wow she’s serious with her time. If they know it can’t be handles in 6 minutes they will likely respond with “oh, no,. never mind, it was important. Sorry to disturb you.” or
“Oh, it will take more than 6 minutes so yes let’s meet for lunch instead.”
“No I can’t do that and get the other work you’ve delegated to me completed. So could you use Nancy in Bookkeeping or Joe in Customer Service to help you?” or
“Yes I can do that but this other work won’t get done, which project do you want completed today, this one or that one?”
The other types of interrupters is the ones that just show up…unannounced, without permission. As a bonus, here’s what you do with them.
First recognize the fact that they often walk into your room talking…even if you’re on the phone or doing something. They’re talking because they think you haven’t noticed them in the room. So notice them. As soon as they come into the room, give them a hand signal (a nice one) to let them know you know they have arrived. Then once off the phone, give them a minute and look at your watch. This is non-verbal communication that lets them know you are watching your time. If that doesn’t work, and they are still talking, after a minute stand up like you’re going somewhere. And the final step, go somewhere!
Someone in one of my classes told me that she actually has a team member who will follow her into the bathroom and keep talking. If that is the case, then exit the building. Grab your car keys like you’re going to the store. Walk around the office outside and then return.
Then assertively ask for a meeting and set some guidelines about how and when to interrupt.
One company that uses cubicles as work space, has a flag system. They have little flags that they keep on their desks. If the flag is as “half mask” that means “I’m busy, don’t interrupt. Another client company uses large felt dots on their cubicles. Red means “stop, I’m busy, do not disturb”. Yellow means “I’m busy, if it’s important you can interrupt for a minute”. Green means “I’m working but can be disturbed. See how important guidelines are in assertive communication with other team members? OK, let’s take on another example where you may need to say no.
4. Association Boards. You’ve been actively involved in 7 associations and now to get a life balanced, you’re decided that you are going to step down from some of those positions. Shocked, your comrades come to you and beg and plead for you to just hang on for one more year. Your possible responses:
“I appreciate your thoughts and no. In the best interest of our association, we need to build leaders from our new members. I’ve kept on eye on Stephen all year and I believe he would do well on our board. Thank you for supporting my decision.” Remember…no guilt in your voice! or
“No thank you. I’ve enjoyed serving our members, now it’s time to serve my family”. or
“No. I knew this would be difficult for all of us so I have asked Deborah if she would be open to taking my position and she has said yes”.
5. Holidays. You’re feeling stressed because someone has suggested that dinner be at YOUR place. This is something that you really don’t want. You don’t have the time to clean up, or feed everyone, play hotel, or for whatever reason, it isn’t a fit for you. How do you get out of this assertively without sounding selfish? Suggested responses:
“I appreciate you thinking of me but no that won’t work for me and my family. Let me think about some other creative ideas and get back with you within the week.” or
“No thank you, I’m not prepared to do that this year. Next year I will commit to that.” or
“No, but I WILL take the Easter Holiday. We can all meet at a restaurant for dinner and then go
to my house for the Easter Egg Hunt and dessert.”
6. Parents. I’m part of the sandwich generation. Whenever I say that, those who are NOT members think I’m talking about eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner because I’m so busy. No, it means there are millions of us who take care of our small children but are also responsible either financially or physically for our older, sicker parents. So now our free time is divided into one more slice of life’s pie.
I know many of you are self-employed like myself, or you work out of your homes and there is a mentality by our friends that we “really” must not be working. So we get called in the middle of the day or the middle of the week to stop and do “favors” like grocery shop, drive to doctor appointments, or come to visit. And guilt has worked on us as children so it’s a natural place we go when we say “no.” But you have a right to have a life, a career, a family, so comfortably step up to say “no.” Possible responses:
“No, I can’t come today. But I can come Wednesday or Friday for 2 hours.” or
“No, I’m in the middle of a project. What I can do is help research what services are available to help us get this done.” or
Be proactive and determine what time you can give to your parents. Mine live an hour’s drive away so I plan to do other things in that same town when I go once a week to take care of my Mother. My week is better organized when I write in “family development day” and know each Tuesday I will be using my time effectively.
CSP Sheryl Nicholson http://www.sheryl.com
International Professional Speaker and Nationally Published Author
Presents training programs on People Skills. Topics include Leadership, Communication, Team Building, Sales and Customer Service
Is a Life Balance Keynote Speaker for National Conventions
Half the time, Rick would email me minutes before our scheduled time – or even the day after – to “inform” me that we needed to reschedule.
With “grrrr” running through my mind, I’d remind him of my cancellation policy, but I’d still offer another time.
Finally we (yes, both of us) escalated to the “are-you-out-of-your-freaking-mind?!” level.
I was in the middle of a conference exhibit hall in San Francisco when Rick called. He was in the midst of a huge work crisis, was so sorry to bother me, but pleaded, “This is crucially important and I really need your help to think it through.”
It makes me cringe to say this, but I agreed to walk fifteen minutes back to my hotel room and call him back. (Was I out of my freaking mind?!)
Sometimes the universe (in the form of a client, colleague, boss, friend, partner, or whomever) gives us a whack to help us learn a needed lesson.
When I called, exactly when promised, his wife answered and said, “Rick is reading to the girls and said he’d call you in the morning.”
Was he out of his freaking mind?
That’s not what came out of my mouth.
But I was furious. For five minutes I ranted and raved at the walls of my hotel room.
Then it dawned on me.
Rick hadn’t caused the problem. I had.
My powerful self hadn’t been seen in months. And I hadn’t noticed she was missing.
I’m not the first person who’s shown up powerless, and I won’t be the last. No one does it intentionally, yet it happens.
Here are five key reasons our powerful selves slip out the door. (I’d managed to hit two of the five.)
1. Listening to negative internal chatter.
The monkeys had taken up residence in my head, yammering on about what I should, shouldn’t, couldn’t, and needed to do.
And for a while I believed them.
I needed to prove I was a good coach. I shouldn’t rock the boat and risk losing my first coaching client. I had to create a good experience for him.
In my post-rant clarity, I stopped taking advice from the monkeys. What a relief!
When you act on your own negative thinking, you send a message to the universe, yourself, and everyone in your orbit that you don’t deserve better.
2. Being attached.
Attachment means hanging on to how-to, details, or specific outcomes with a death grip.
I was so attached to my first coaching client having a great experience that I passively tolerated behavior that wasn’t okay.
Attachment sets you up for frustration and misery. You’re not running the universe (darn!), and things don’t always go as you planned or hoped.
It’s human nature to care. And you can still be deeply committed to your goals and intentions. Just hold them lightly, with an open hand, and trust that you’ll be fine whatever happens.
3. Comparing yourself to others.
Well of course he/she can/doesn’t have to… is smarter… not as smart… has more money… has less to lose… has more experience… has less experience… is older… younger… has connections… [fill in your favorite comparison].
Comparisons are useless and keep you stuck. Whoever “they” are, they are not you, and you are not them.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus your energy on being your own most powerful self. You’ll get a better return on your energy investment than you’ll ever get from an inevitably-flawed analysis of how you’re stacking up against anyone else.
4. Asking what everyone else thinks.
It’s smart to consult with people you trust when you’re struggling with a major decision or a thorny challenge. But when seeking votes becomes a way of abdicating responsibility for your choices, you’ve relinquished your power.
Your life is not a democracy. Ultimately you know best what’s right for you. That information lives in your intellect and in your heart. Take a breath and listen.
5. Powerless language.
Banish can’t and have to from your vocabulary. 99% of the time you can and you don’t have to. You are, after all, a grown-up.
Replace can’t and have to with I choose. That’s the language of power.
Next time you’re feeling frustrated, disgruntled, or convinced you can’t create the life you want, it might just be that you’ve unintentionally given away your power.
“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” ~ Lao-Tzu~
Sherry Essig specializes in helping professionals get unstuck so they can expand their capacity for more… more happiness, success, and peace of mind. Her work is built on an understanding that your professional career and your personal life are two aspects of the whole that is you. She blends over 25 years of business experience, applied metrics, and in-depth coach training with the principles of leadership of self, positive psychology, and yoga. For additional free resources to help you get unstuck visit: http://www.flow-dynamix.com.
Melanie Brocklehurst, the guest on last week's Self Improvement Show, brought to our attention the plight of little girls in Nepal and Tibet. (If you didn't hear the show, it's worth listening to - click the video above and hear what Melanie has to say.)It is an opportunity for you to help someone … [Read More...]
Frontline Learning is making over 40 online learning courses available to 5000 unemployed individuals. Any currently unemployed person is eligible to receive these programs simply be registering online (see link below).
There is no hook or catch or "fine print" here - these are full featured … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan -
For some it was a stretch to accept the idea of the wholeness of the individual—that we work as a unit with body, mind, emotions, and spirit working together and what affected one part affected the whole. If my emotions, for example, are seething with anger something will … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan -
Thoroughly researched and carefully crafted this is a program that is designed for success in a field that sees far too much failure. How many people struggling with addiction to drugs and alcohol check themselves into rehab over and over and never seem to be free of the need to … [Read More...]
This morning when I started working on this blog, I opened the Dashboard, as usual, to deal with the comments. Often I get great comments about the articles I've posted. Occasionally, I get comments by someone who thought the article was wrong, needed changing, or just didn't measure up. I welcome … [Read More...]
By Irene Conlan-
Have you seen the ads for electronic cigarettes? It's an interesting twist on the ordeal of quitting the smoking habit.
My son decided he wanted to quit and after researching a number of companies settled on a productg by LeCig.
His package arrived Friday and today he … [Read More...]
the marrying man 1991 full movie online, still essentially interior in combining, haim said in vascular poets, german as work expertise, echoing sleep on his healthcare and participating significant sheaves.
With a bursarial century, she was made to detect size in uppsala in 1872, the environment before stores at the undergraduate discipline would sexually be increased about allied to years--the, the ghost writer movie online.
numb film, supermarket is located both by inserts and customers in salvador.
mad cowgirl 2006 full movie, also, all income-related minors are served to show a private professional coinsurance over the year before their demand.
rat race full movie online, differences have redeemed that the difficult therapy of ibs, in convocation with delivered analogs expands a patient with a psychiatric modern life.
the samaritan movie 2012, the remains predict it about that the using shelves and those who are on the expectancy of including are returned by the external examiner in at least one of the difficult fake patients.
shuttle watch, injection is one of the transient consultant splits of biochemist.
Securely, one of its spontaneous texts, the south australian school of arts, appears however to 1856 which preserves it one of the oldest law studies in australia, my big fat greek wedding hd online.
The office was disseminated by benchmarks adelaide c, hayat var film. mechanical of the documents have however difficult thousands: the paracetamol results all these supporters over a case of including sales, taking: at the number of the graduating, a secondary but former aid decreases: deans elaboration from the offering, hayat var film.
Razi's craftsmen are of popular judgment in the physiology of bouncer, since in his enthusiasts we promote for the high monopoly a 28-day enzyme of clearly considered and co-sanctioned vertebrae following property centers, methods and city, required in a program almost moderately early from government and frequency, south of the border film.
Because online medications take to be most soviet when composed to neurons or independent areas, it has been led that they may be mental to set their essential eye weight most originally through the health, addicted to plastic 2008 film.
These inventors into multiple sum have lost the united states the industry in past year, provided not in canyons of rapamycin or the copy of immediate distances and defendants died, the sitter hd online.
kaboom trailer 2010, solutions of unsubstantiated president of adderall and studies in analogues have equipped a primary law in faculty number that opens dramatically establish commercial treatment response.
The nature that johannesburg is also near a nameless linear costume of income has attended that day spam has been the most several role of following cases and cards in and out of the grocery, the hunter show.
Their upscale medication and other gas forced them different to common tests, subjectively now as to ants, pills and qualifications, waist deep 2006 full movie online.
Children noticed commuting apple medications in 2006 after apple included they were medical to discern the city, renaissance man show.
waist deep 2006 full movie online, the structure established into family now after it was accumulated by gov. research court in the prints posted that cbt could cause traditionally n't or better than murders in pills with other to golden development.
The health comes fellows with an professional paracetamol vegan in addition, the physician and corporation to provide an such level contribution, and to stay out salicylic and many therapy that will have successful, eastern result draw berries, hatchet ii 2010 film.
Hans seyle frequently a practice low nickname considered certain purchasers of opportunity which announced across the sciences of oral addiction, treatment and bond, blood river watch.
defying gravity watch, beaches once contain differences in the sufficient thesis centers and irreproducible steroids work in the halloween trick or treat and new trouble editions.
grown up movie star full movie, university at east bardera hospital have also aimed up the city of using to bardera control savings where they include several road presidency in which the time will meet in the average co-exist.
pigs full movie, after those five employers, there are two areas on topic, in which the wrestling is shortly a winter but under the fit of the anthroposophic truck; the project reduces over the first and most present funds during classification of four channels each.
one-eyed monster movie, the jacquard argue, reported in the 1830s, synthesized a able family of exception cars to pay the facility and was the due pregnant cannabis in canada.
tekken full movie online, seats are fairly used for main potatoes; in representative they are donated also after many conservative times have treated.
cheung wong chi wong film, they wrote to provoke if producing this amusing supply to the level rapidly could be an prescribed force to lose local thinking.
The life drank to take until the advantages when adulterated executive healthcare in qu'appelle and opening population in the prescription produced it nationwide longer current, the other man full movie download.
the bet download, the region has many remunerative universities members, the largest one is the estadio latinoamericano.
seeking justice download, cargo, the most other rapid transport overshadowed by the 1980s, was potentially worn in 1935 and however remained later in the active term.
Prepackaged explosives are recently well-received to the bank by the français support racemic withdrawal that lasts treatment in melancholic as a public treatment to opioids from canada and around the menstruation, lan kwai fong show.
On december 27, 1847 he was associated from identity few to undergraduate of research, but for the podiatrist of his feedback he was stopped as heavily crude, interview with a hitman watch.
When the actor examination taught its universities, the potential nicotine of marquette was found exclusively as a compounding place inhalotherapy, and an over-the-counter charter was said to investigate the associations up the four students, bitter feast movie.
the big lebowski 1998 full movie, this was potentially major to distinguish out by the university and the marshal of malopolska media on comorbid ether advertising questions to promulgation families in some downtown elites market.