By Jeanne Rust, Phd -
It has long been my contention that eating disorders are chronic, stress-related conditions where people, oftentimes at a very young age, begin to use eating disordered behaviors as a way of coping with stress in their lives. Initially many of these people discover that the eating disorder works quite well for them. In most cases they have never had the opportunity to learn healthy coping strategies.
Researchers have defined three kinds of coping: problem-focused, emotion-focused, and perception-focused coping. The skills and responses a person uses in times of stress may be different depending on how severely they are stressed.
When an individual uses problem-focused coping, they will take direct action on their surroundings or themselves to remove or attempt to change the threat. A person will use emotion-focused coping when he or she uses actions or thoughts to control unpleasant feelings brought on by the threat. When a person uses cognitive attempts to reduce or alter the severity of a threat, he or she is using perception-focused coping.
Another way of regarding coping strategies is to look at approach coping and avoidance coping. An individual who utilizes approach coping skills is someone who will usually take direct action to deal with the situation that is creating stress. Someone who is uses avoidance strategies is someone who will go to any lengths to avoid the situation or person who is creating stress in their lives.
Those individuals with excellent social resources will tend to rely more on approach coping than avoidance coping. Individuals who have sufficient support from family and friends will rely less on avoidance coping methods and rely more on approach coping methods. Ot makes sense to me that if I have something stressful happen in my life that things will be better if I take action and deal with it rather than avoiding it!
Coping skills include information gathering, stopping a certain behavior or action, and using cognitive coping skills that can change the way the person looks at the problem. Coping skills have been defined as learned resourcefulness or a set of skills which a person uses to control certain internal events that might cause him or her unwanted pain, feelings, or fear.
Here are some healthy and effective coping skills that anyone can use:
· Boost your self-esteem by becoming involved in activities that interest you. Discover your passion!
· Go online and talk with an online friend.
· Imagine yourself in a safe place where you do not need to think about doing anything that is harmful to yourself.
· Make a list of positive affirmations. Pick one, look at yourself in the mirror and say if morning and night for 21 days. The affirmation will become a part of you!
· Get a massage. You can get pretty inexpensive massages at any school that teaches massage.
· Walk your dog or play with you cat.
· Make a list of some nice things you would like to do for your friends.
· Think about taking some classes or doing something to help you discover your passion.
· Tell your parent, husband, partner, or friend that you love them.
· Make a list of what you are grateful for. This is tough when you are stressed, but if you write it down, the act of writing will help!
Learning effective coping skills can change your life!
Jeanne Rust, PhD is the CEO and Founder of Mirasol, a treatment program for women and teens with anorexia, bulimia, obesity, and binge eating disorder. Her treatment philosophy is integrative combining the best of the medical model of treatment with the most effective alternative ones. Learn more about eating disorders at http://www.mirasol.net
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Little Jimmie sits in front of the Saturday cartoons. You have selected his programs carefully to avoid violence, wild behavior and bad language. You know the programs are relatively wholesome and you really need the time to get some things done. Little Jimmie loves it. Lunch time comes and he begins to cry for the super-every-kid-eats-them-pre-packaged-lunchtime-treats-in-the-red-and-purple box. You’re not quite sure what he’s talking about and you promise to look for it when you go to the grocery store. But he is determined. He has to have that for lunch and he has to have it NOW. Why? Because the television is a hypnotist and at every commercial break it told him that what he really, really wanted was a super-every-kid-eats-them-pre-packaged-lunchtime-treat-in-the-red and-purple-box from your local store. 
There’s a lot of talk about addictions, especially about addiction to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. A definition, without getting too clinical is: An addiction is a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity. An addiction can be physical and/or psychological. It differs from a passion in that it has to be done whether it gives joy or not. I believe the question of addiction involves control. For example, do I control alcohol or does it control me? Do I control money and shopping or does shopping control me? Do I play computer games to fill my time and because I enjoy the challenge or do I play because I can’t stop? I think addiction takes many, many forms, some obvious and some more obscure such as addiction to: 
