Anger and Your Health: How Your Outlook Influences Health and Your Ability to Control Anger

By Dr. Tony FioreBusinessman

The situation: Jane and Anthony have differing ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (the glass is half-empty), while Anthony is an optimist (the glass is half-full). These outlooks influence how they experience similar situations.

Scene 1: Job loss. Jane is devastated, convincing herself that she is all washed up, she can never catch a break, it is useless for her to try to be successful, and she is never going to succeed at anything.

Anthony, however, has a healthier inner dialogue. He tells himself he may not have been good at that particular job, his skills and his company’s needs did not mesh and being fired was only a temporary setback in his career.

Scene 2: New jobs. Offered a new job, Jane, the pessimist, believes she was able to find a new job only because her industry is now really desperate for people and must have lowered their standards to hire her.

Anthony, however, feels he landed the new job because his talents were finally recognized and he will now be appreciated for what he can do.

As these examples illustrate, optimists tend to interpret their troubles as transient, controllable and specific to situations. Recent research by Dr. Martin Seligman confirms this.

When good things happen, optimists believe the causes are permanent, resulting from traits and abilities. Optimists further believe that good events will enhance everything they do.

Pessimists, on the other hand, believe their troubles will last forever, will undermine everything they do, and are basically beyond their control. When good things happen to pessimists, they see them as temporary and caused by specific factors that will eventually change and lead to negative outcomes.

Optimism creates better resistance to depression when bad events strike, better performance at work and better physical health.

In fact, one long term study at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, found that optimists lived 19% longer than pessimists.

Optimism is also a powerful antidote to anger. Many participants in our anger management classes report their anger lessening as they learn to replace negative thinking with positive thinking.

Here’s some good news for negative thinkers: You can learn how to replace pessimism with optimism.

The starting point is to access your vulnerability to pessimistic thinking by taking the self-evaluation test you can find at http://www.authentichappiness.org

Your responses will be compared to thousands of other people in various categories, down to your Zip Code.

If you scored lower than you’d like, you can become more optimistic. As Dr. Seligman writes in Authentic Happiness, his latest book: ‘the trait of optimism is changeable and learnable.’

There is now a well-documented method for building optimism. It’s based on first, recognizing, and then disputing, pessimistic thoughts.

People often do not pay attention to their thoughts and thus do not recognize how destructive they can be in leading to negative emotions. The key is to recognize your pessimistic thoughts and then treat them as if they were uttered by someone else – an external person, a rival, whose mission in life is to make you miserable!

Basically, you can become an optimist by learning to disagree with yourself – challenging your pessimistic thinking patterns and replacing them with more positive patterns.

Note: This view of optimistic thinking is not the process of ‘positive thinking’ in the sense of repeating silly affirmations that you don’t really believe.

Rather, it is the process of correcting distorted or faulty thinking patterns that create health, career and relationship problems for you.

By teaching yourself to think about things differently (but just as realistically), you can morph yourself from a pessimist to an optimist – and tame the Anger Bee in the process.

About The Author

Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter “Taming The Anger Bee” at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.

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What do you do when everything goes right?

VioletBy Irene Conlan -

We generally think about what we will do in a time when everything goes wrong. We expect times like that and try to stay prepared to “get through” them as gracefully as we can.

Why not talk about when everything goes right?

There are days (even weeks) like that, you know.

I often wonder if it is simply our focus that makes us believe things are going right or wrong. For example, this has been almost a perfect morning. It is a beautiful day in Scottsdale, I had a great night’s sleep, a good start to the day, the cat is purring next to me as I write, and most of my early morning work is finished. I lost a pound (now a total of 82 pounds lost), and the phone, so far, has been quiet. Now that’s a great beginning. I had to think for a moment if anything negative happened. Well, for starters it was cold in this house this morning and when I went on line for a temperature check I read that it is 49 degrees. It was uncomfortable enough that I got dressed instead of sitting at the computer in my nightgown.  If I wanted to get with the negative program, I could list the things that concern me and take my day on a rapid decline into negativity.

I choose not to do that.

It is not what surrounds me, it is not what I own, it is not the weather and it is not circumstances that make me happy or create a perfect day – it is my thoughts, my attitude, my beliefs, my awareness, my responses. Although other people can spew negative all around, it is my choice whether or not I let that rattle my cage and bring me down. Sometimes I have to struggle to keep it from impacting me and sometimes I have let it change my mood  before I realize what hit me. Then I have to work to get back up to a happy state of mind. (Being happy and work are not mutually exclusive).

I had  a perfect example of this earlier today. I do some work for a blog that helps people who are grieving. We get a lot of mail which I post. This morning there were two letters from women who’s husbands had died within the past year. One was “woe is me, I can’t survive this, I can’t go on, my life is over, nobody understands.” The other woman wrote, “he was wonderful, I miss him terribly, sometimes I wonder how I can manage when I have do do things he always did for me, I know I’ll make it, he would want me to be happy and I will be happy again.” My guess is that they are both right. The first will mourn for the rest of her life and have an endless pity party while the second one will learns to manage,will probably finds love again, and and will have a celebration of life party.

It sounds very Pollyannaish but I’ve never had a problem with Pollyanna. In fact, she’s right on target for the new approach to Psychology – Positive Psychology that looks for the good, the strengths, the positive happenings.  Pollyanna played “the glad game” – trying to find what made her glad regardless of what was going on around her. Perhaps we could all give that game a try.

So what about you?

What will you do when everything goes right?

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When Everything Goes Right

By Irene Conlan -

Did you ever have one of those days when everything went wrong? Most likely your answer is “yes.” The other day when I had two newly written art icles disappear into cyberspace I thought I was having a bad day, but I was wrong. You do know what I mean about having a bad day, though, don’t you?

Well, then, did you ever have one of those days when everything went right? For some of you that’s a little harder to remember, but think about it. Most of us have lots of those days, but we just aren’t aware of them. We remember the bad ones but we pay no attention to the good ones.We take them for granted.

What would a good day look like to you? Have you ever thought about it?

Perhaps you get  up feeling really good – a clear mind after a good nights sleep, ready for the day. At work things go smoothly and you leave with a feeling of accomplishment (or at least of getting something done). The evening isn’t spectacular but it is pleasant. For the day you have clean clothes, plenty to eat, a job, a comfortable environment and pleasant people around you. Wouldn’t you call that a good day?

Some of you are thinking BOR-ING.

A good day, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. A good day is held in the palm of your – attitude.

We probably all know people who, while they have everything money can buy, don’t seem to enjoy a good day. There are just so many things to worry about, so many things that can go wrong. We know others who, with very little, have one good day after another. There are so many things to appreciate and so many things that go right.

Right now, as you read this, what kind of day are you creating for yourself? Oh, yes. You create your day – by what you think, by what you do, by your attitude.  So if you create it, why not create a good one?

Take a moment or two to think about it. Each of us is different so I can’t describe for any of you what would constitute a good day.

Is a good day one in which nothing goes wrong? Or can it be a day in which, even though some things go wrong, you find solutions?

Every day has the potential of being a good day. It is you who make it good or bad.

Simplistic? You betcha.

It’s all in the attitude and in the choices you make.

What kind of day are you going to have?

I intend for everything to go right.

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Have You Checked Your Attitude Lately?

By Robb Thompson  http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Robb_Thompson

Have you been secretly yearning to travel far beyond the hard edge of your potential curve? Are you, as I am, longing to surpass your present accomplishments and exceed your current level of achievement? If you’re nodding with enthusiasm, then let’s take a solid look at your attitude. [Read more...]

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Controlling Stress For a Healthier and Happier You

By  Brett Thomas http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Brett_Thomas

Extensive studies that have been done have proven beyond a doubt that stress is the primary cause of several ailments and diseases. This has brought about an increased awareness of the need to do even more research into how stress works to affect an individual’s health and the importance of controlling stress before stress controls you. Stress essentially depresses your emotions, which in turn lowers your immunity and makes it easier for you to succumb to illness. [Read more...]

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The Magic Word Is – Attitude

By Don Westacott  http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Don_Westacott

Our attitude towards life will determine what we get from life. Our attitude towards work and learning will determine what we can do well.

William James a Harvard professor said “the greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind” [Read more...]

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