By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD -
Do you sense that you are seeking someone’s approval when you make a decision or embark on a project? Have you heard your self-talk that sounds something like this? “I’ll show her/him.” “He/she will be surprised when I ____.” “You wait and see.” “If only I could prove to him/her___.” “I’ll prove it.”
You might use these thoughts because your accomplishments are seldom acknowledged by those whom you wish to impress. The acknowledgment you receive from others is merely frosting on the cake. The acknowledgment you give to yourself is the cake. Furthermore, your acknowledgment of yourself will boost your self-confidence.
You can start by examining the areas of your life when you have attained your goal with ease and on time. Make a list of the incremental steps and how you succeeded. Make note of how your ideas came into being and reached fruition. Completing this analysis will reinforce and strengthen your capabilities immeasurably. No one can give you the incremental acknowledgment of a job well done more than you.
When you have more confidence in your capabilities it will soften your reaction to other’s lack of acknowledgment. Being aware of all your incremental accomplishments will help you recognize that the approval of others is seldom necessary to feel worthy and fulfilled.
When you step back and examine your successes, you gain self-assurance and lessen the need to prove yourself to others. You might have a tendency to work more rigorously when you seek approval from people you admire or are an authority figure. This often times leads to frustration and a sense that in order to get the recognition you deserve you need to jump higher and through more hoops.
When you trust and acknowledge yourself, you will notice that your work is valued based on its merits and that words do not define who you are. It only defines what you have accomplished. Others will respect you for what you do more than when you push hard to gain their admiration. As you acknowledge your incremental accomplishments you will find that seeking approval from others loses its significance.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, “101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life.” Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s daily thoughts and feelings.
http://www.drdorothy.net
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