Self-Improvement | Awareness | The Self Improvement Blog

Stop Trying to be Perfect

August 5, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

In the moment of completing a thought or action, it becomes “perfect,” within our ability to do it. Any process is perfect, in relationship to what it created. In your sojourn in this world you are in a state of perfection trying to get to a place of perfection. Taking the first step on your journey is just as perfect as taking the 100th step or the 1000th. You do not have to try to be perfect, you are perfection in motion.

One of the problems with perfection, is that you measure yourselves against the perfection of others. Every peace of the 5000 piece puzzle is perfect and unique. Why would a round piece think of itself as imperfection beside a square piece. Would not the square piece think itself imperfect in relationship to the round hole it is trying to fit into to.

All of us have a place in the whole picture. All of us are perfect. All of us are trying to fit somewhere. In our journey to find our place, why would we try to be as another piece. It is a dead end road. As we force ourselves to fit in, life becomes difficult, frustrating and meaningless.

You do not have to try to be something you already are. You simply have to accept that fact, to find peace and happiness in your life. Acceptance is the first step in creating something new. You need to know where you are before you can decide where you want to go. You need to know who you are before you can begin to make changes in your life that reflect your new thoughts about who you want to be.

Self destructive thoughts about who you are is not acceptance. You live in a physical world that is created by you, by your thoughts. Every physical object in your life reflects your thoughts about who and what you think you are. They are perfect symbols of your thought process. When you begin to change your thoughts, your symbols will disappear and be replaced by others. You always fit in, because you change the picture to match your shape, your thoughts about yourself. This how life truly works. It is not a fact that you react to your environment. Your environment reacts to you, because you are creating it.

Do not try to be perfect. Know that you already are, and always will be. If you don’t like what you see, change your thoughts about it, and the puzzle will change for you. You always fit in. If you are having difficulties fitting in, then you need to make adjustments. It’s not that you are not perfect, but you may be that square piece trying to fit a round hole. You may be trying to live up to the image of another or the expectations of that other. You need to change your environment or circumstances to reflect your new thoughts.

If you see yourself as a square piece, then you will start doing square things. Your life and it’s circumstances will reflect that thought. If you try to do a round piece thing, it may not work for you.

You have grown up with the notion that you are imperfect and that you are working towards perfection. Know this! You will never be perfect until you know that you are and accept it. You are no less perfect than your creator, because you are your creator trying to act imperfectly. You are part of the puzzle living in the illusion of separation. Divided from the rest through time and space. You are the whole in the process of recreating itself by bringing it’s individualized pieces back to itself. You are perfection, being perfect, trying to get back to perfection, trying to become itself once again. There is nothing you have to do, say or be to get there. Your place is guaranteed.

Live within your perfection and make adjustments to your environment and circumstances to accommodate your new thoughts about yourself. It is only your thoughts of imperfection that cause you to experience imperfection. It’s not necessary. It is a perfect world, because it is our nature to be that way. Look at your world and see what it holds for you. Conflict, war, hunger, disease and struggle are perfect reflections of how you wish to experience your world. They are there because you have created them. You have accepted their existence. If you do not like them, do not deny them, simply give them no thought and they will not be your experience. A doctor would not exist, except for the fact that he creates his patients through the process of disease. A priest would not exist except for the thought that there are sinners who need to be saved. A writer would not exist, except for the thought, that there are people out there who read.

You have gone full circle. There is nothing you have to do, except to create more perfection. You are here to experience all of perfection, that is your only function. You are perfection, creating perfection until you have found your place in the big picture and are joined once again with perfection.

Roy E. Klienwachter is an ordained minister,light worker, writer and author of Spiritual New Age Wisdom books written in simple language with the eloguence of Zen wisdom. http://www.klienwachter.com

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: awareness, creation, Enlightenment, goals, life, Manifesting, path, perfection, purpose

6 Principles Of Self-Awareness

January 16, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Laurie O’Garro -

It would be easy to keep on doing what you’ve always done. Life today can be quick, busy, hectic. Rarely do we take a moment to reflect on who we are, why we do what we do, say what we say, think what we think. But without stopping to figure out what makes us tick, we can lose ourselves. We act out of habit, fail to question our actions and before we know it, our lives implode and we find ourselves in the midst of a crisis.

If you are reading this and would like to live your life consciously, here are some suggestions on how you can begin the process. This article is about removing the barriers to a more informed way of living:

1. ACCEPT RESISTANCE

We are all resistant to something. The first thing to do when you commit to becoming more self-aware is accept this. We become resistant when we are given information that does not chime with what we believe to be ‘right’. It doesn’t fit with what we’ve been told about life, or our long-held beliefs. Some of you reading this will be saying ‘no I don’t!’ This is resistance. When you dismiss things you hear as rubbish or wrong, you are resisting.

Resistance is so subtle that we can often be unaware that we are actually in resistance mode. When we drop our resistance we open ourselves to hear what is being said. When we allow ourselves to hear what is being said, we can make informed choices about how to act and think and what to say.

EXERCISE: ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION – WHAT AM I RESISTING?

ACTION: BECOME AWARE OF YOUR RESISTANCE

2. COMMIT TO THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT

Few of us think about what we think about. We behave impulsively, speak impulsively. We think without thinking. Start observing your thoughts. If it helps, visualise a person inside your hide, a scientist, if you like, with a clipboard and pen, recording your thoughts.

At the end of the day review your thoughts. What kinds of things did you think about? Here are a few suggestions: judgements about people and yourself; other people; what’s good and what’s bad; who’s good and who’s bad; who’s right who’s wrong; who’s better who’s worse.

When you start to think about what you think about, you begin the process of increasing self-awareness. You can make positive changes in your life when you think about what you think about.

EXERCISE: CARRY A PEN AND PIECE OF PAPER AROUND WITH YOU AND WRITE DOWN AS MANY OF THE THOUGHTS YOU HAVE ON ANY GIVEN DAY.

ACTION: START THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT

3. STOP NEEDING TO BE RIGHT

Have you ever noticed that you always have to be right? Maybe you need to be right when arguing with your partner, children, family and friends. We grow up observing others asserting their rightness, insisting on having the last word. Parents assert their rightness when they interact with their children, teachers assert their rightness when they reprimand their students. Authority figures in general habitually assert their rightness.

There is another way, though: it is possible to allow others to be right – even if you don’t believe they really are. I’m not talking about letting people to jeopardise your safety or the safety of others. In day-to-day interactions, however, we cause ourselves unnecessary aggravation by insisting on being right. Heated discussions can be cut short when we realise our power lies in something much deeper than a victory in a petty argument.

TASK: ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION: WHAT DO I NEED TO BE RIGHT ABOUT?

ACTION: ALLOW OTHERS TO BE RIGHT FOR A CHANGE

4. THE INNER CRITIC

The inner critic can also be called ‘negative self talk’, the ‘chatterbox’ or the ‘internal negative dialogue’. Some people call it ‘radio me’!

The inner critic is that voice that starts up the minute we wake up in the morning and only shuts down when we fall asleep. We all have the inner critic (yes, even you!) and for the most part it governs our beliefs, our actions and the quality of our relationships.

Practice flipping inner critic statements. It is possible to teach yourself to ‘flip’ negative statements so that, for example, “I can’t” becomes “I can” or “I’m going to give it my best shot”. The inner critic’s opposite is the cheerleader. You are your first cheerleader. Encourage yourself.

EXERCISE: FOR ONE DAY MAKE A NOTE OF THE KINDS OF THINGS YOUR INNER CRITIC SAYS TO YOU.

ACTION: BECOME AWARE OF YOUR INNER CRITIC AND THE KINDS OF THINGS IT SAYS

5. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

What are you not taking responsibility for? Perhaps you’re resisting the possibility that you may not be taking responsibility for something. We live in a culture where we constantly look outside of ourselves for a place to lay the blame. Whenever something goes wrong, we look for a fall guy, a scapegoat. How often have you blamed the bus for your late arrival to work rather than accept that you chose not to set of earlier in order to allow for traffic? How often have you blamed your failure to keep your word on your memory when what really happened was that you did nothing to ensure you remembered your commitment?

It’s not surprising we shift the blame onto other people or things: taking responsibility for everything that happens in our lives puts us in the driving seat, and just as you wouldn’t blame the passenger for whatever happens in your car, when you’re the driver, you cannot blame anything or anyone for what happens in your life. This realisation takes some getting used to. What are the implications of knowing that you are responsible for everything that happens in your life? It’s great when we think of all of the wonderful things we’ve done, but what about the not so wonderful things?

EXERCISE: MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR. THIS CAN BE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE, YOUR WORK, YOUR HEALTH OR YOUR BELIEFS

ACTION: LOOK AT WHAT YOU CAN START TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR

6. INTERNAL BARRIERS

We can look outside of ourselves for the answers to why things don’t happen the way we would like them to: why we didn’t get the job of our dreams, the husband or wife of our dreams, the promotion we wanted. We can look outside for answers to why we were treated unfairly, denied our rights or subject to disadvantage. There is no doubt that we are all subjected to the effects of external barriers – people, conditions, rules and regulations, lack of money, lack of education. It is rare for us, however, to examine the internal barriers, those that we erect ourselves and that we allow to prevent us from living our best lives.

Examples of internal barriers are: lack of self-confidence; rampant inner critic; long-held beliefs; low self-esteem; not taking responsibility for your life; anger issues; refusal to let go of past events.

Most external barriers can be overcome when we make the conscious decision to search for internal barriers that allow them to rule our lives.

EXERCISE: ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION: CAN THE EXTERNAL BARRIERS I FACE BE TRACED BACK TO MY INTERNAL BARRIERS

ACTION: LOOK AT YOUR INTERNAL BARRIERS

Spend some time looking at the 6 areas above. When you can address them you will be well on your way to greater self-awareness.

Make your luck!

I am a qualified teacher, living and working in London, England. I design and deliver personal development programmes for young people and adults. I am committed to creating programmes that enable participants to discover their true natures and to be all they dream of being.

For more information, go to my website:

http://thinkagain-personaldevelopment.co.uk

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: awareness, inner critic, internal barriers, taking responsibility

An Article on Self Awareness

November 16, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Henry M. Piironen -

When one neuron in our brains has the capacity to produce thousand connections with other neurons, the amount of possible connections is more than the universe has atoms. As you can imagine, in this complexity the self-awareness cannot be too simplistic to be expressed as being composed of only one factor, but from many.

1. What is self-awareness? Self-awareness is commonly seen as something that is separate from the thoughts that emerge to our mind. It has also been considered as the area where we are aware of our own existence. And, when the content of our awareness is the substance of our conscious existence, we cannot separate thought, emotion, reason, or innate instincts from the domain of our self-awareness. It is also the area of our being where we reflect the set of our personal beliefs of existence. After our births, we gain these beliefs from the modern content of this realm, and yet, these beliefs can originate from thousands of years from the past. You can reflect your self with the standards of the society, or expectations you have created for you. The self-awareness is also characterized as the experience of our continual being in constantly exceeding present time. In essence, the transient experiences of our self and the experiences we go through.

2. What is representational self-awareness? We have the tendency to reflect our own being with such representations as what we consider as heroic or what we admire. It is useful to identify self with good characteristics when we are still growing, since they are then more probable to grow into us. Howard Bloom, for instance, who has been compared with Einstein, Newton, Hawkins, and Buckminster Fuller, said that one of the reasons for his genius is in that he held various intellectual giants as his role models. This caused him to mirror, or in his words, to ape their behavior as he considered them as the A-packs. These reflections can however cause anxiety because the person identifies himself or herself with negative self-reflections. And it is only natural, since one is seeing images that are far from being pleasant. They can be hypochondriac in content, caused by all the millions of details of psychological well-being taught to an individual by the media. And if such a state becomes chronic, it is learned behavior, from which one must relearn away. We can also be self-aware in fantasized content and live through fantasized roles in life. We can identify our self with fantasized beings, or identify our self with the fantasized character that has existence only in our own domain, similar to dreaming. The representational self-awareness is what we reflect our own self in the content of representations.

3. What is emotional self-awareness? There is not a moment when you would not feel any emotion. They appear also in such forms as instinctively sensing that something is good, or there is something wrong. They appear in the form of needs we often base our choices. Being self-aware of emotions intensifies the experience of them. In contrast, if we are in the state when time seems to pass rapidly, focused for example to writing, we are less self-aware of our emotions as our attention is directed elsewhere. The emotions tell us when everything runs smoothly as they should. We experience that we are conflicted with something, causing us to settle or solve matters between others. Emotions and instincts are also something we should trust our choices with, despite the modern tendency to say the rational decisions are the best decisions. The rational decisions have their time and place, but the capacity of the subconscious can be compared with a standard late 20th century computer and a modern supercomputer in processing capacity. Being too self-aware of one’s own emotions can also intensify the negative emotions, causing a cycle of intensifying anxiety, leading to anxiety attacks.

4. What is semantic self-awareness? Semantic can be defined in simple terms as a meaning of something. We can become self-aware of what we are by giving ourselves a variety of different meanings. They depend on the circumstances, actions we have taken, or when we are expressing ourselves with language or intuitively understanding different meanings of what we are through reflections. In both, positive and negative content. We also gain semantic self-awareness from the opinions of others about ourselves again in both, positive and negative.

5. What is a physiological self-awareness? Focus your attention to the middle of your right arm, and sense what you feel from it. That is what physiological self-awareness is all about, how we sense our physiology in all its extent. Various relaxation records use this in that they make people self-aware of various parts of the body, and speak on how it begins to relax, thus using suggestion. This may result in effect, if not resisted consciously, to the spoken area to begin to relax. Coordination of the body is based on similar control we have over our body. We can increase this capacity by exercising yoga, martial arts, survival training, dancing or for instance different sexual techniques in adult life.

Henry M. Piironen is the author of “The Power of Transiency (How Thoughts Can Harness the Power of Life, the Universe and Everything).” To purchase this definitive book, visit Amazon Kindle Store now! Already read it? To purchase his other books, click here.

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: an article on self awareness, awareness, identity, Psychology, self, self improvement, self awareness, sense of self, what is

A word or two about change

July 7, 2010 By ireneconlan 1 Comment

By Irene Conlan -

This will be a short blog today. My kitchen is finished and I can put everything back in. In fact, I already have it about half finished and it is so much better. It is still an old kitchen but it’s fresh and clean and bright instead of drab, not-so-clean and dark. I find re-doing to be better than moving in because now I know how I operate in this kitchen and I have a better idea where to put things.

One of the lessons I have learned from this kitchen makeover is how we become creatures of habit in short periods of time. For instance – when we moved here 3 years ago the refrigerator door was on the wrong side so I couldn’t open the door without moving the table a bit. So I just left the table strangely uncentered rather than moving it each time I needed something from the refrigerator. I didn’t know how to changeto door nor did anyone else in my group of family and friends. It seemed like too small a job for a handyman. Bless Andrew. He changed the door so it opens on the other side. Wow, is it nice. However, this morning while I was trying to fix breakfast, I had a close encounter of another kind with the refrigerator. Everything seemed backwards and I felt disoriented for a moment. It was a fleeting second of “I-wanted-this-but-it-doesn’t-seem-to-be-working. Help me!” I moved a few things around and all is well with the refrigerator and me.

I have a new ceiling fan that has a remote control and I have to stop and think how to turn the light on. It’s strange to have to think about how to turn on a light.There are so many things we do automatically without any awareness whatsoever. It was nice to think about bringing light to the kitchen even though I punched the remote buttons a number of times before I got it right.

When I started returning things to the kitchen I caught myself wanting to put things back like they “used to be” even though I knew they would be better in another place in the cabinets. It’s like wanting to go back to “the good old days” which, when you think about it honestly, weren’t really all that good. I can tell you I certainly don’t want to go back to a farm in West Texas and I don’t want to be without a computer or a remote controlled ceiling fan.

Change. We want it and it’s hard to adjust to once we have it. It’s one of those little dichotomies of life, isn’t it?

Change is good for us. It takes us off automatic pilot and demands that we become aware – at least until the new routine, new storage places, or use of new equipment become routine once more and we can go back into our trance-like state of living.

We need enough change in our lives to remind us to live in the moment – to be aware.

Now I have a few more boxes to unload.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: awareness, being on auto pilot, change, self improvement

What is the One, Single Most Important Self Improvement Tool?

June 29, 2010 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

The other day someone asked me what I considered to be the single most important tool for self improvement. Yikes! What a question. “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” I responded, knowing that I would need to wrestle with it for awhile before I could answer. I will work on it here and if you have any thoughts on it, I would love to hear them. (There is a comment box at the end of the article).

So what is the single most important tool to use when you are seriously committed to self improvement?

Is it meditation?
I consider meditation to be an absolute must when it comes to self improvement, but is it the only one you need? I don’t know. Meditation helps you get acquainted with the “inner you.” It helps calm your body and your mind, enhances your creativity and intuition and makes you more receptive to Divine guidance. I opens your subconscious mind and your spirit and allows the work to continue long after you finish meditating. There are many books written about the value of meditation and how to go about doing it. There are videos of guided meditations on YouTube so give it a shot so you can experience it first hand.

Is it Journaling?
Journaling allows you to express your thoughts, desires, pain, disappointments, likes and dislikes, etc. on paper. If done in a relaxed state where you simply allow the words to flow, it can tap into the riches of the subconscious mind. It allows you to express anything on your mind and have a record that shows you your progress. It enables you to see patterns and develop ideas. It is, indeed, an outstanding self improvement tool.

Awareness and Self Awareness?
Can there be any self improvement if you are not aware of who you are, what you want and need, and what changes are taking place? If you are not aware of your strengths and weaknesses, can you develop a plan for improvement? Being aware means you notice and understand what is taking place around you and self awareness means you notice and understand what is taking place within you. I seriously doubt if any progress can take place in the self improvement arena without awareness and self awareness. In fact, I doubt if you would even be on a self improvement path without awareness. But is it the most important? I really can’t say.

What About Positive Thinking?
For most people who are interested in self improvement, a key to lasting improvement is changing their thinking from negative to positive. If you gain insight into what makes you stressed, for example, and a major stressor is your job, then you may need to change your thinking about your job, your boss and/or your co-workers. Letting your mind dwell on how much you hate your job, how you dread going to work in the morning, how tired and stressed you’re going to be before the day is over, how your boss is a total dork and your co-workers are incompetent slobs will increase the stress level that you’re trying to relieve. If you can’t yet think of something positive about the job or the people, then think about something else in your life that makes you happy – your boyfriend if you’re single, or your husband and children, a walk in the park, sitting at the beach – or whatever it may be. In the meantime you might start looking for another job, but before you do, be sure it isn’t your negative reaction to the job and its people rather than the job and the people themselves. Make a point to get to know them better. You know the old adage about not judging until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

These are big four when it comes to self improvement tools.

Which one is best? I still don’t know that answer. We are holistic and we are unique. What works for one person may not work for another. What works for you right now, may not be as effective next week.

What I do know, is that if you begin to employ each of the tools on a regular basis – if you

practice meditation
journal your thoughts about the area of improvement you are working on
work at becoming more aware of what’s going on around you and within you and
work to change your thinking from negative to positive

you will begin to see some of the positive changes that you desire. If you have an opinion on one best tool, I would love to hear it.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: awareness, journaling, meditation, positive thinking, self improvement, Self Improvement Tools

The Five As of Happiness

May 7, 2010 By ireneconlan 2 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

In our Declaration of Independence it is written that we have the God-given right to pursue happiness (please note that it says we have the right to pursue it but does not guarantee that we will find it). We all seek happiness and we look for it in all kinds of places –– sports, entertainment, sex, food, therapy, relationships – and we are often disappointed when we don’t find it there. Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller wrote a Hall of Fame song about this disappointment – Is That All There Is? – and Peggy Lee won a Grammy for singing it. It sings of seeking happiness and coming away empty handed and disappointed.

How many times do you start a thought with “If only…” with the remainder being an unspoken “then I would be happy”? How many truly happy people do you know? Do you consider yourself happy? What makes you happy?

There are five A s that may point you in the right direction and these are appreciation, awareness, acceptance, acknowledgment and amazement.

Appreciation really doesn’t have to be defined, it just has to be practiced. Look around you and take notice of all the things you have to be grateful for. Who and what do you appreciate? The little cheer that my grandson yells after every T Ball game comes to mind – “two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?” They appreciate the other team. Who do you appreciate? Keep a running list of things you appreciate. Right at the top of my list are family who love me, fresh air, clean water, good food, freedom. Each one of those could spawn a new list. The list should grow longer and longer and never stop. But be careful, because appreciation can change your life for the better. Only do this exercise if you are serious about being happy.

Awareness goes hand in glove with appreciation. The more aware you become of everything around you, the more appreciative you will become. Do you see beauty everywhere? How long has it been since you picked up a fallen leaf and noticed the colors, the structure, the beauty of it? How long has it been since you “smelled the flowers.” As a driver I’m always surprised at what I see on a daily route when someone else is driving. When I drive I only see the traffic, the directional signs and the things I need to see to be safe and get us to our destination. When I’m a passenger I can be aware of the people, the architecture, the plants and flowers, the blueness of the sky, clouds and whatever is along the way. Become aware of other people and their expressions, their energy, their joys and sorrows. Become more aware of yourself – who you are and what you want and need, what you enjoy and do not enjoy. Awareness is a key ingredient for happiness.

Acceptance keeps you from trying to change yourself and everyone and everything around you. It allows you the freedom of being who you are and allowing others to be who they are as well. You have heard the saying, “I love you warts and all.” That’s acceptance. You don’t have to judge or remake anyone you know. It’s a very freeing concept and opens you up to happiness with yourself and others.

Acknowledgement lets you recognize your own talents, abilities, accomplishments and uniqueness as well as the talents, abilities, accomplishments and uniqueness of those around you. Acknowledgment of someone else’s successes does not detract from your own or diminish you in any way. Nor does it generally make them arrogant. Remember how good it feels when someone says sincerely to you, “Great job. Thank you?” You can give that gift to someone else. Start with your spouse and children if you are married. Those are four magnificent words: “Good job! Thank you.” When is the last time you used them? Get them out, dust them off and use them until they become second nature. Thank you!

Amazement lets you look at everything through new eyes and exclaim “Wow!” When you are aware and you really see, you will be amazed by more and more. My grandson is a constant source of amazement to me because of his sweetness, his intelligence, his wit and his tenderness. He is six now and very wise and our conversations range from silly to profound. I was too busy raising my own sons to be in such amazement but as a Gramma I have time. Look for the things in your life that make you say “Wow!” Amazement is great for your spirit as well as for your blood pressure, so make an effort to allow amazement back into your life.

Those five A’s can bring you closer to happiness than almost anything I know. Happiness is an inside job, after all, and appreciation, awareness, acceptance, acknowledgment, and amazement are some of the tools that help you work there.

Filed Under: Happiness, Self Improvement Tagged With: acceptance, acknowledgment, amazement, appreciation, awareness, Happiness, self improvement

Staying positive in a negative environment

April 9, 2010 By ireneconlan 2 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

This morning’s mail brought the following question in response to the article, “Who’s in Charge Here?” It’s a great question and I’ll do my best to answer it.

I wonder if you have more advice as to how to actually implement 3 and 4 (quoted below). I feel like they are both genuine problems of mine, especially 4 where the line of work I’m in does involve interacting with some pretty negative folks. It’s all well saying to ’shut it out’ but it’s more a case of finding that act in itself pretty tough.

3. See the big picture. The moment may be tough but the total hour/day/week/month/year/life may be fabulous. Don’t get lost in the bad moment.
4. Shut out as much negativity as possible – Choose your friends well. Monitor what comes in over the radio, TV, phone, etc. Don’t buy in to the negative. Yes, there are troubles in the world. Letting them infect and affect you will not solve the world’s problem.

The answer is not a simple one nor is there a quick solution. It would be great if we could flip a switch and turn off the negativity around us but there is no such switch.

The starting place is with your own thinking and, if you start on it today, know that you will need to work on it for the rest of your life. It is a matter of building in yourself the habit of positive thinking and it is something you need to develop over time. Some things you can do to develop this habit include:

Listing those things you are most grateful for – Spend time on this list in the beginning adding as many things as you can. Then, on a daily basis, write down three to five things you are grateful for that day. This sets the tone for the day.
List all the good things about yourself that you can define. Keep adding to this list.
List the things you like about your job and the people you work with. Do not dwell on the things you don’t like about your job or the people.
Develop the habit of looking for the positives in every person you meet and every situation you experience. Make this a conscious effort. In the beginning make it a game – find something positive in the most negative person or event. Even most of the negative experiences have something for you to learn.

Avoid the TV news as much as possible. It’s important to stay informed, but if you want bad news this is the place to find it. You can live without it quite well unless you’re a reporter or an editorial writer. Get your news once daily or read the headlines on the Internet. If working with the news is part of your job, make an effort to avoid what I call “emotional buy-in.” You cannot help those who are suffering around the world if you sink down in the mire of negativity as you read about their plight.

Monitor your thoughts and your reactions to what is going on around you. Be aware of who rubs you the wrong way. Why do you react the way you do? Is there mainly one person who triggers negative reactions in you? Why? Who brings you near the breaking point? You will find some interesting areas of self improvement in your own life when you ask these questions. You cannot change them but you can change the way you react to them.

Choose a few positive affirmations that are meaningful to you and bring them to mind throughout the day. e.g., “I say Yes to life.” ” I am calm and relaxed in every situation,” ” I am in charge of my own thoughts and my own reactions, ” “I am in the perfect job for me right now.” “I find good in everyone around me.” You get the idea. Write your own. Affirm what it is you want your life/your job to be like.

Visualize your ideal workplace and yourself in it. See yourself doing something you love and feel how happy it would make you. Put every detail in it that you can. You might be surprised to find it some day when you least expect it

These things prepare you to be positive as a person. The big challenge is to stay positive when everything and everyone around you seems to pull you down into the pit of negative thinking and negative reacting. If you have developed the habit of positive thinking this will be much easier.

On the job, avoid the “water cooler gossip.” Rarely is the conversation uplifting and rarely does it help anyone. And don’t get caught up in the bitching and complaining that goes on in the workplace.Either interject something positive or walk away. I like the wisdom of Thumper’s mom in Bambi – and I paraphrase – “If you can’t say somthin’ good, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

Seek out other like-minded positive thinkers. There has to be another one somewhere.Make an effort to get to know your co-workers better and “hang around” the most positive ones.

Get involved in a project of helping others. This is the single most helpful thing I know to help you stay positive. It is hard to succumb to the negativity on the job when you are planning how you are going to help that single mom who is struggling so hard, or to mow the lawn for the little old lady down the street, or volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or at the local food bank.

These are just a few suggestions. I would also encourage you to learn meditation, study positive psychology, find positive relationships outside of work, and spend more time in reflection about life and your part in it.

It isn’t easy but it can be done. Spend your time looking for the positive, the beauty, the special, the good, the upbeat. The negative will gradually begin to let you go. Oh, it will bite you now and then but it won’t be in control after you take charge of your own thinking.

The responsibility of living a positive life rests entirely on your shoulders and it begins with taking control of your own thoughts – one thought at a time.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: awareness, Gratitude/appreciation, living in the moment, positive thinking

Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

January 16, 2010 By Guest Contributor 5 Comments

By T Mcdonald -

“Good habits are hard to develop but easy to live with” and “Bad habits are easy to develop but hard to live with”, according to Brian Tracey, a well-known motivational teacher. You may recognize that to successfully manage habit changes, breaking bad habits may be required in order to develop new ones.

Breaking bad habits takes at least 21 days. Of course, in difficult cases, it can take as long as a year. Here’s an example of the process of how to change an unhealthy habit to a healthy habit. Suppose you’ve decided that coffee is not good for you and right now, you drink coffee with sugar daily. The new habit you would like to institute is to drink herbal tea without sugar.

At first, it may be challenging to break the bad habit of drinking coffee. You will have to use self-discipline for the first few weeks but gradually it will get easier. Once you are able to change the old habit to a new healthier one, it will serve you very well. Habits are remarkable because they don’t require thinking. You just “do it” for years until you find yourself changing the habit again.

Here are 5 easy steps for changing habits:

1. Awareness: You must become aware of your habits. What is this habit exactly? How is this bad habit or group of bad habits affecting you? How is this habit affecting others? For example, smoking often has negative effects on others as well as on you.

2. Wanting to Change: As someone with a health problem, you must decide that breaking bad habits through a conscious effort is a worthy goal. You must convince yourself that the change in the habit is worth the effort involved.

3. Commitment: You must be determined to do whatever it takes for breaking bad habits so that you can better control your life. You make a decision that “no matter what” you will change the habit. You do the work required to stop. Here are some examples of habits you might want to change: Smoking, eating too much, eating processed foods, not exercising, drinking coffee or other beverages with caffeine in them, eating too much sugar or fat, drinking alcohol, procrastinating, etc.

4. Consistent Action: It is important to focus on changing just one habit at a time. Then, take consistent daily actions for breaking the bad habit that has been causing problems and take the actions to develop a new one. We suggest doing this process one step at a time rather than trying to do it all at once. Sometimes changing a habit can be done “cold turkey” like smoking and sometimes it works better to make a gradual change.

Be sure to give yourself positive rewards often for taking small actions toward changing a bad habit. Continual day-by-day actions are what are critical. This is NOT about an occasional action or step. It is about being consistent every day.

5. Perseverance: There will be times when you question whether it is all worth it. You’ll say to yourself that breaking these bad habits is too difficult; that you are too “weak” to change. Your old self, often so comfortable living with the bad habits, is trying to hold on. Breaking your old patterns may require meditation and prayer.

Visualize regularly the rewards for following through and the costs of not following through on breaking the bad habits and especially the value to your future of building new better habits.

Get support from others, especially other people who want to make changes in their lives and read about people who have been successful in breaking bad habits. Affirm that, no matter what, you will not backslide into your old bad habit patterns.

Now, you are armed with a 5-step process for breaking any bad habit or other condition that requires changing. If you have an addiction to something such as alcohol, these steps alone may not be enough. You may require additional professional help or a support group, but for most cases this 5-step process will do the trick!

T. McDonald is a lifelong student of inner growth and a writer. She edits Diabetes Guide where you will find information on the glycemic index diet, weight loss, diets, managing diabetes, alternative sweeteners, breast cancer bracelets, how to prevent breast cancer and much more.

You have permission to reprint this article as long as all links are hyperlinked and the resource box and copyright are retained intact.

Article Source Breaking Bad Habits – 5 Simple Steps for Changing a Habit

Filed Under: Habit management Tagged With: awareness, Breaking Bad Habits, comittment, perseverence

Jumping 3 Hurdles to Happiness

July 10, 2008 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

So you’re preparing for the olympics – the happiness olympics – and your event is the hurdles. You have to jump over a bunch of them to reach the goal and carry off the gold medal of happiness. (I can’t believe I wrote that – but you get the idea even if it is a bid smalltzy).

There are many hurdles to individual happiness and, self imposed as they may be, they are still real. Today I want to look at three of them: teachings, self worth, and guilt. When those three hurdles are jumped and we cross the finish line, we can begin to feel the happiness that has been within each of us all along. So let’s take a brief look at each. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Happiness, Irene's Articles, Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: awareness, guilt, Happiness, Self Esteem

The Nudge That Brought it All Crashing Down

June 3, 2008 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By H. Les Brown http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=H._Les_Brown

We were invited out to dinner last night. On the way, we stopped to pick up a bottle of sparkling mineral water – and some chocolate truffles – to take with us. When we pulled into the driveway, the sky was already turning a nasty-looking purpley-gray, so we prudently put the top up on the convertible, and raised all the car windows. I opened the drivers-side door, keys in my left hand and bottle of San Pelligrino in my right. The door swung half-open, and then slowly started back toward me as I stepped out. The side of my elbow nudged the window to keep the door open. The touch of my elbow was met with a veritable explosion of glass, as the tempered-glass window dissolved into a million tiny shards and spread out over a ten-food radius around the car. If you’ve ever experienced the shattering of tempered glass, you’ll know what I mean when I say it’s an absolutely unique experience. There’s nothing else quite like it. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Self Improvement, Stress Management Tagged With: awareness, catastophe, stressor

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Jumping 3 Hurdles to Happiness

The Nudge That Brought it All Crashing Down

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