By Lorie Mayfield -
The purpose of this article is to help empower you to live a happier and healthier life. Having and setting a healthy boundary enables you to have more energy.
Take responsibility for how you let others treat you. I have always heard and apply the “Golden Rule” do on to others as you would have them do onto you. In fact you show others how they can treat you by not speaking up for yourself and allowing things that you don’t like to occur. The person doesn’t even know that they have invaded your space because you have not told them where it lays. When I used to work with Autistic clients I would tell them gently “this is my purple space” and I would draw a big circle, and say you can’t get in my personal space. Then I say this is your personal space and I would show them where their space. I know it’s your gentle soul that doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. It is not about hurt feelings it is about defining where you draw the line. You cannot travel far around this world without finding boundaries. They exist everywhere. Webster’s dictionary definition of a boundary is it indicates or fixes a limit or extent. It can be real or imaginary. Indeed, there are boundaries all around you. Take for instance you home; when you go home do you open a door? Well a door is a boundary separating inside from outside. If you travel further, you will see boundaries for your street, your county, your city, state and country, etc… The list goes on and on.
Well how about personal boundaries? An issue with setting boundaries can be described in many ways: Have you ever felt that you were belittled, or made to feel unimportant? Maybe you are the “people pleaser” and find that you are unable to say no and doing things that you don’t want because you felt you could not say no. Do you seem “invisible” and have problems expressing your feelings or maybe you are not even able to determine what you feels are about a given matter. Maybe you have no problem deterring or meeting the needs of others but find yourself unable to determine or fulfill your own needs. Are you often accused of taking things personally or of being hypersensitive?
If any of the above sounds like you don’t feel like you are alone. What you need to determine is what you are going to tolerate and what you are not going to tolerate. People will go only as far as you let them. It is up to you to determine what you boundary is going to be will it be rigid like a brick where nothing can get through. Is your boundary loose and anything is allowed? Maybe the boundary is like a net and anything gets through. You are the only person who can fix that limit. Decide to set a healthy boundary and you will protect yourself from violations of your rights and privacy. You will become more accountable for your actions and eliminate forever the role of victim. You will be able to define yourself not by how others see you but by how you truly are inside.
Inspirational Life Coaching provided at Transformed Mindz Ministries will help you define yourself and your identity enabling you to be the you that is hidden inside.
http://transformingmindzministries.com
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