By Irene Conlan -
We needed this book. Cathy Greenberg and Barrett Avigdore have done a fantastic job of providing it in a way that is neither condescending nor insulting. They state “Our goal is to give you the tools to engage your whole brain, help you develop awareness, and learn to perform at your best every day.” This is neither a “we have an ax to grind” book nor a “let’s make the best of a bad situation” book. Rather it is a “User’s Manual” for women in the work force based on the new science of Positive Psychology. It addresses the issues facing “Working mothers” in a positive, constructive way. (I must admit , though, that I find the term “working mother” an oxymoron – is there such a thing as a mother who doesn’t work? Motherhood takes more energy, more creativity and more abilities than any job I know.) This book addresses head on how you fill the role of mother, happily hold down a job and be true to yourself as a human being.
The authors found a nice balance between presenting information, illustrating the topic with examples from “real life” women, and offering exercises that allow you to come to your own conclusions about what you need for you. I found it refreshing that the authors do not try to tell you what to think, what to believe or how to act. Rather they present the issue and help you work your way to a solution that works best for you.
This book address such issues as learning to love yourself, dealing with guilt, forgiveness, gender differences, letting go of the “perfect mother” syndrome and what happens to the children when you work – or when you don’t work. Every mother, whether she’s in the work force or not, should read the chapter on guilt and do all the exercises over and over until she “gets it” and lets go of the guilt that lurks overtly or covertly within her.
I love the “self awareness” exercises in this book. Each chapter has its “self coaching breaks” and “Bottom Line Exercises” that help you apply the concepts to your own life in your own way! If the reader takes these seriously and does them thoughtfully, she will be light years ahead by the time she finishes the last exercise.
This book should be widely read by men as well as women. They need to understand the tremendous talent and ability women bring to both the home and the workplace and they need to be open to finding their own happiness. As a society we haven’t thought much about happiness – especially on the job – and it’s time we did.
In addition, every girl in her teens should have access to the questions and exercises in this book so she can transition into the workforce with much more ease and grace than those of us from the “dark ages” have done. A career choice based on self awareness and the principles of happiness will make a significant difference in the lives of women entering the work place and motherhood in the years to come.
The authors sum it up in the last chapter when they write, “If we follow our dreams, pursue our goals, live our values, and love ourselves as we are, everyone wins. Our children and families win because we are happier and less stressed, our fellow workers and our companies win because we are more productive and creative. When you are happy, you are the best version of you. Happiness is the tide that lifts all the boats in your life.”
What Happy Working Mothers Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Lead to a Healthy and Happy Work/Life Balance. Cathy L. Greenberg, Ph.D. and Barrett S. Avigdor, J.D., ew Jersey: John Wiley and Sons, 2009.
I highly recommend this book.
