Taking the Wrong Road

Taking the wrong road in lifeBy Roseanna Leaton -

Life presents us with many choices. Sometimes we feel that we have taken a wrong turn and chosen the wrong road. When we look back we can see that there were signposts visible at that junction, although at the time we didn’t pay them sufficient heed. Many things are easier with the benefit of hindsight.

Perhaps the route you chose was not in fact wrong. You simply look back and feel that it was wrong. It is highly possible that wherever you are is where you are meant to be in order to traverse a particular learning curve in this life.

Life is a learning opportunity, and unfortunate as it may be, we do often learn better through the mistakes we make than from getting things right first time. Every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. Mistakes are in fact opportunities in disguise.

Whether you feel that you have taken the wrong road or not there is no point in crying over spilt milk. By all means look back and appreciate how you came to be where you are now, but instead of feeling disappointed ask yourself what lessons you have learned.

Reverting to the comment I made before about there having been signposts at each and every twist and turn in the road that you have chosen, it is true that we only end to see that which we expect to see. When you look back and realize that those signposts were there you will also appreciate that you were always aware of them to a certain degree.

Most often this awareness is felt in a sort of emotional-logical tug-of-war. You know what you want and you know what you should do, but these two things are not in tune with each other. When this happens we find ways to justify the things that we want, or try to bury inhibitions and charge forwards no matter what. We effectively “turn a blind eye” to our own objections and carry right on doing what we want to do. Looking back you might wish that you had listened.

The truth is that sometimes choices are difficult to make and sometimes compromises have to be made. The more confident you feel in yourself, and the greater your awareness of your own moral code and the standards you wish to live by, the easier it is to make wise choices for yourself. The more present you are in the moment the more aware you will be of your surroundings and those signposts will be more easily visible to you. In this way the choices you make will be better informed instead of impulsive or random.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis confidence mp3 downloads.

P.S. Discover how you can focus your mind with hypnosis. Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website now.

Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and check out her library of hypnosis downloads and hypnosis confidence mp3 downloads.

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January 10, 2011 – Choices

Every person has free choice. Free to obey or disobey the Natural Laws. Your choice determines the consequences. Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.
- Alfred A. Montapert

Choices

By Irene Conlan -

The news is still a continuous report of the shootings in Tucson and we are all still reeling from the incident and its aftermath. The big question is WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why didn’t this young man seek and receive help? Or did he?

Why wasn’t someone aware of the state of his mind? Or were they? If they were, why didn’t they do something?

Why are shootings happening more and more frequently? Or does it just seem like it?

Why can’t we find a solution?

Why did this young man make the choice to kill? Why?

Yes, we make a choice before we behave badly, do something destructive or act out our anger.  I picked up the book I do my daily reading in yesterday and read this which speaks directly to some of the whys:

The Invaluable Moment  of Choice

…For most of us, there will probably be a certain routine to those moments when we “give ourselves permission” to respond or behave badly. For some people, it will be yelling at their children or their beloved. For some, it might be drinking far too much. for others it may be a withholding of generosity or even fairness – not sharing information that would help a colleague; not taking your turn with household tasks; not “lifting the load,” even when you perceive it. For some it will be saying that unnecessary mean or bitchy thing. For others it will be looking down and realizing that the entire package of chocolate cookies has mysteriously disappeared. And for many it will be imposing grim, angry or resentful moods on everyone around them.

Of course there will also be moments when we spontaneously let ourselves down. We say the worst thing; we let ourselves get exhauasted and start to whine; we are enraged by an aggressive driver and start yelling; we put someone “right” when they are perfectly capable of getting on with things in their own way.

The most successful technique that I know is to STOP – the moment you recognize that what you are doing is not what you should abe doing – even when it’s what you desperately want to be doing.

STOP – in mid-flow, mid-mood, mid-word. However revved up you are, however driven you feel to complete your compelling drama, you stop.

Whatever you tell yourself, no one can force you to behave badly. You may have developed some habits of reacting that feel completely out of your control. And certainly you will have unsconscious as well as conscious drives that can feel extremelypowerful. But not even your habits or drives can make you replay behaviors that no longer fit with your values or benefit you and other people.

The moment you recognize that your behavior is hurting yourself or someone else – you can stop. Awareness of consequences is key to conscious living. It is so empowering to know this.

As you get worked up, you may feel as though you are powerless to stop. And if you are drunk or taking drugs you will certainly have radically diminished your power to choose. But you are not powerless. As you begin to write that hurtful e-mail, you can stop. As you open your mouth to say something unkind, you can close it. As you begin to collapse into your preferred pose of self-pity, you can straighten up.

Your power to choose grows with practice

Before action

In the moment before taking action resides our power to do good, as well as to prevent harm. In less than the time it takes to think a thought, we are directing ourselves – and choosing.

From Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, by Stephanie Dowrick in Collaboration with Catherine Greer. Penguin Group, NY. 2005, pp 183-184.  (Note: This book is a MUST for anyone interested in self improvement. The insights are powerful   but not preachy and the advice is “right on.”  Irene)

We are each responsible for the choices we make. I urge you to live consciously and make choices you and those around you can live with – literally.

When Everything Goes Right

By Irene Conlan -

Did you ever have one of those days when everything went wrong? Most likely your answer is “yes.” The other day when I had two newly written art icles disappear into cyberspace I thought I was having a bad day, but I was wrong. You do know what I mean about having a bad day, though, don’t you?

Well, then, did you ever have one of those days when everything went right? For some of you that’s a little harder to remember, but think about it. Most of us have lots of those days, but we just aren’t aware of them. We remember the bad ones but we pay no attention to the good ones.We take them for granted.

What would a good day look like to you? Have you ever thought about it?

Perhaps you get  up feeling really good – a clear mind after a good nights sleep, ready for the day. At work things go smoothly and you leave with a feeling of accomplishment (or at least of getting something done). The evening isn’t spectacular but it is pleasant. For the day you have clean clothes, plenty to eat, a job, a comfortable environment and pleasant people around you. Wouldn’t you call that a good day?

Some of you are thinking BOR-ING.

A good day, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. A good day is held in the palm of your – attitude.

We probably all know people who, while they have everything money can buy, don’t seem to enjoy a good day. There are just so many things to worry about, so many things that can go wrong. We know others who, with very little, have one good day after another. There are so many things to appreciate and so many things that go right.

Right now, as you read this, what kind of day are you creating for yourself? Oh, yes. You create your day – by what you think, by what you do, by your attitude.  So if you create it, why not create a good one?

Take a moment or two to think about it. Each of us is different so I can’t describe for any of you what would constitute a good day.

Is a good day one in which nothing goes wrong? Or can it be a day in which, even though some things go wrong, you find solutions?

Every day has the potential of being a good day. It is you who make it good or bad.

Simplistic? You betcha.

It’s all in the attitude and in the choices you make.

What kind of day are you going to have?

I intend for everything to go right.

Be an Epicure of Happiness

By Mary Kay Buttery –

Some people are lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, happiness can be a matter of choice, not just luck.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way! There is a glow about them. They are confident in who they are. To them life is a pleasure and an adventure. They aren’t simply trying to be happy; they truly are!

David Lykken, whose name in Norwegian, means “the happiness” noted that “certain thought patterns and interpersonal skills definitely help people become an epicure of experiences”. Take a group of happy people and you will probably come across some or all of the following attributes.

They Can Navigate Through A Current
Sometimes life happens, and the best made plans are laid to rest. However when one falls into a pattern of constantly making excuses, even if only to oneself, it will eventually make an impression on an individuals dynamics, success or happiness. Happy people are adept at taking life in hand. So ultimately life works for them, not against them! This is commonly referred to as “Living In the Flow”.

When something is important, make time even if for just a few minutes. And soon it won’t even have to be considered – it will just happen!

They are Attentive of the Influences Surrounding Them

The people who surround us, the books we read, the entertainment we view – all set a tone or quality to our experience and are forecasters of how happy we feel. Happy people pinpoint then give precedence to rewarding and satisfying aspects in their life. Situations charged with “melodrama” aren’t given influence, so they fall to the wayside.

They “Milk” their Assets

Happy people use their personal strengths to get things done. Everyone possesses unique assets. And we each have different talents and skill sets. So why not use them to ones advantage!

Blind since infancy, Stevie Wonder exploited his sense of hearing and his passion for music. He has 25 Grammy Awards and is a master in his field. Best known as the creator of the Harry Potter fantasy series, J.K Rowling started writing at the age of six. She has also become a notable philanthropist, supporting a variety of charities.

They Abandon Delusions
If only I could—come upon a job that really suits me—meet my “perfect” match—get rid of these extra pound—life would be “perfect”. Happy people know better than to even go there!

People misjudge their contentment and can be overly critical of themselves when they put the limelight on one segment of their life. In one study, single subjects were asked, “How happy are you with your life in general?” and “How many dates did you have last month?” When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed. Happy people are wise to this. They step back and take in the big picture, not just a sliver. If a few “kinks” are found here and there, they are dealt with, or are left to just “be”.

They Sift for An Appropriate Conclusion

The conclusion or outcome of any adventure can make a profound imprint on a person’s overall impression of their experience. If the outcome is equitable, the experience will naturally yield happiness. Happy people look at options that assist them to tie up loose ends and, if possible, conclude matters on a high note.

They Opt to Live Life – Full Out

As much as we all think we want to be happy, many of us have deep rooted beliefs that it’s wrong to be happy (or be too happy). This belief can stem from a religion, culture, or family dynamics and can leave one feeling guilty if they are having fun and are happy.

Research shows that happy people tend to be more open and willing to be of assistance to others. Happy people routinely carry out random acts of kindness without a lot of deliberation as it is inherent for them.

We are able, compassionate beings who are capable of not only giving but also receiving. Giving ourselves the high five and opening to it ALL (though our participation) thus enjoying the whole “enchilada”, would seem to be a very satisfying way to travel through life, as it insures a fulfilling existence.

Coffee Break
Pleasures come in all forms. They appear here and there at coincidental moments. You reach into your pocket and find a $10 bill from the last time you wore these jeans. You aren’t rich, but you are richer than you were a second earlier. Welcoming these occasions will bring unexpected sprinkles of happiness throughout the day.

True happiness is priceless. It can’t be bought, and no one can hand it to us. It is part of the human experience, and it comes from within us. Just as soon as one makes the decision to be happy, regardless of their circumstances, it manifests.

Mary Kay is available for private consultations, speaking engagements, etc.. Be sure to visit her website and sign up for her *FREE* Monthly Newsletter, which is filled with inspirational, motivational and helpful information. Ignite your presence, and live in a whole new world of simplicity, ease and enjoyment. To contact her: call 702-239-5451 or e-mail  [mailto:mkb1929@gishpuppy.com]mkb1929@gishpuppy.com.

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