Self-Improvement | Choices | The Self Improvement Blog

Little Decisions That Make a Big Difference

May 18, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

It is a Saturday evening around 5:30 and I’m facing a decision. It’s not a life-changing decision but rather a little decision about how I’ll handle the evening. Relatively minor, in the big scheme of things, but one which has consequences.

I feel pretty lousy. Although normally healthy, I’ve been assaulted by cold and flu-like symptoms these past few days. It seems to be getting the worst of me, tonight, since I just returned from an all day meeting. An all-day meeting on a Saturday. One that I didn’t really want to attend, so I’m not in the best mood. And then Judy (my wife) has been home doing my books (end of month and year accounting). That’s never fun. She hasn’t exactly been doing what she’s wanted all day either. And, on top of that, there are usually a few things she has to talk to me about when she finishes the books, things I haven’t handled just right. She is a stickler for detail, thank goodness. But, I can feel some criticism and complaints coming my way. I’m not looking forward to it.

So I think about what I want. I want to come from a good place tonight. I don’t want to talk (complain) about how I feel. In fact, I want goodwill to override the minor aches and pains I’m feeling right now. I’d like to spend some good time with Judy. Let her give me feedback about the books. Not defend. Know that she’s right. Ask more about her day. Listen to her. Enjoy her company. Spend time in the kitchen getting dinner. (She probably won’t let me touch the food.) Let go of my preoccupations with my sickness and “to-do” list for next week.

Yup. That seems about right. Seemly small decisions but decisions nonetheless that lead me down the path I want; a path that fits with my purpose and vision for myself. A path of knowing that I can over-ride some natural tendencies. I can choose what this evening will be like for me.

There are big decisions that determine our fate. But there are also small, day-to-day decisions. It is these small decisions that validate and reinforce the big decisions. Life is difficult, in big and small ways. But what matters more is my ability to choose, to decide. That’s the lesson I want to learn. I think I’ll practice it tonight.

Roger K. Allen, Ph.D., author of The Hero’s Choice: Living from the Inside Out, is an expert in personal transformation, leadership and teams. His tools and methods have helped hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. Learn more at http://www.theheroschoice.com.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: big difference, choices, little decisions, self improvement

Your Life Is A Choice-What Are You Choosing?

May 2, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD -

Everything in life is a choice–are you choosing the best or are you choosing to see more negative in every situation or experience?

There are many choices for every situation or issue. Some days it seems everything goes well, people help us, the details of events/projects fall into place, outcomes and rewards are visible. Albeit other days everything seems to be up hill or full of ebbs and under-currents.

The first step is to recognize that you have an inner ‘center of control’ that is vital to your being truly in your unique flow. This ‘center of control’ emanates from your core being–the you that you are. A highly effective core can be described as:

o Consistent

o Contemplative

o Decisive

o Determined

o Focused

o Introspective

o Organized

o Persistent

There is immense power in these characteristics to make choices.

When people fail to choose to be the center of their choices, they generally blame others for their lack of success, or they berate themselves over past deeds, perceived mistakes and ancient experiences, and that stops the flow of creativity and forward movement.

The second step is to ‘forgive’ yourself for any perceived lack, misdeeds, perceived mistakes and ancient history–none of which, you can change no matter how much you berate yourself.

“Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively.” –David & Bruce McArthur

What does this statement convey? Although holding grudges may seem like human nature, it is a learned behaviour. Studies show that holding grudges or blaming ourselves works to the detriment not only of spiritual well-being, but for our physical health as well. Resentment, bitterness, hostility, anger and fear are emotions that have specific physiological consequences–increased blood pressure, hormonal changes, arthritis, TMJ, ulcers, cancer, lupus, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, cardiovascular disease, immune suppression and impaired neurological function and the list goes on. Metaphysics research reveals every physical illness has a mental/emotional cause and there is a metaphysical way to overcome them.

On the other side the coin, research reveals that forgiveness reduces the stress of the unforgiving state. Researcher Charlotte vanOyen Wityliet, posits that forgiveness needs to be incorporated into everyone’s maturation process as a way of life, not merely a response to specific insults. Thus, forgiveness is part of a child’s acculturation instead of a side bar in life. Learning to forgive, needs to be as important as learning to say, please and thank you. “It’s a process, not a moment,” says Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive.”

See articles:

Forgiveness–Ordinary Acts, Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness—Ordinary-Acts&id=357060

Forgiveness–Benefits, Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness–Benefits&id=356627

Forgiveness–The Key To Peace of Mind

http://ezinearticles.com/?Forgiveness–The-Key-to-Peace-of-Mind&id=275172

Forgiveness–Truths and Myths, Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Forgiveness–A Misunderstood Concept, Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, “101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life.” Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD
http://EzineArticles.com/?Your-Life-Is-A-Choice-What-Are-You-Choosing?&id=564202

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: choices, Life is a choice, self improvement

Taking the Wrong Road

November 13, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Roseanna Leaton -

Life presents us with many choices. Sometimes we feel that we have taken a wrong turn and chosen the wrong road. When we look back we can see that there were signposts visible at that junction, although at the time we didn’t pay them sufficient heed. Many things are easier with the benefit of hindsight.

Perhaps the route you chose was not in fact wrong. You simply look back and feel that it was wrong. It is highly possible that wherever you are is where you are meant to be in order to traverse a particular learning curve in this life.

Life is a learning opportunity, and unfortunate as it may be, we do often learn better through the mistakes we make than from getting things right first time. Every cloud does indeed have a silver lining. Mistakes are in fact opportunities in disguise.

Whether you feel that you have taken the wrong road or not there is no point in crying over spilt milk. By all means look back and appreciate how you came to be where you are now, but instead of feeling disappointed ask yourself what lessons you have learned.

Reverting to the comment I made before about there having been signposts at each and every twist and turn in the road that you have chosen, it is true that we only end to see that which we expect to see. When you look back and realize that those signposts were there you will also appreciate that you were always aware of them to a certain degree.

Most often this awareness is felt in a sort of emotional-logical tug-of-war. You know what you want and you know what you should do, but these two things are not in tune with each other. When this happens we find ways to justify the things that we want, or try to bury inhibitions and charge forwards no matter what. We effectively “turn a blind eye” to our own objections and carry right on doing what we want to do. Looking back you might wish that you had listened.

The truth is that sometimes choices are difficult to make and sometimes compromises have to be made. The more confident you feel in yourself, and the greater your awareness of your own moral code and the standards you wish to live by, the easier it is to make wise choices for yourself. The more present you are in the moment the more aware you will be of your surroundings and those signposts will be more easily visible to you. In this way the choices you make will be better informed instead of impulsive or random.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis confidence mp3 downloads.

P.S. Discover how you can focus your mind with hypnosis. Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website now.

Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and check out her library of hypnosis downloads and hypnosis confidence mp3 downloads.

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Filed Under: Purpose Tagged With: changing our path, choices, self improvement, wrong choices, wrong road

January 10, 2011 – Choices

January 10, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

Every person has free choice. Free to obey or disobey the Natural Laws. Your choice determines the consequences. Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.
- Alfred A. Montapert

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: choices, daily quote

Choices

January 10, 2011 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

The news is still a continuous report of the shootings in Tucson and we are all still reeling from the incident and its aftermath. The big question is WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why didn’t this young man seek and receive help? Or did he?

Why wasn’t someone aware of the state of his mind? Or were they? If they were, why didn’t they do something?

Why are shootings happening more and more frequently? Or does it just seem like it?

Why can’t we find a solution?

Why did this young man make the choice to kill? Why?

Yes, we make a choice before we behave badly, do something destructive or act out our anger. I picked up the book I do my daily reading in yesterday and read this which speaks directly to some of the whys:

The Invaluable Moment of Choice

…For most of us, there will probably be a certain routine to those moments when we “give ourselves permission” to respond or behave badly. For some people, it will be yelling at their children or their beloved. For some, it might be drinking far too much. for others it may be a withholding of generosity or even fairness – not sharing information that would help a colleague; not taking your turn with household tasks; not “lifting the load,” even when you perceive it. For some it will be saying that unnecessary mean or bitchy thing. For others it will be looking down and realizing that the entire package of chocolate cookies has mysteriously disappeared. And for many it will be imposing grim, angry or resentful moods on everyone around them.

Of course there will also be moments when we spontaneously let ourselves down. We say the worst thing; we let ourselves get exhauasted and start to whine; we are enraged by an aggressive driver and start yelling; we put someone “right” when they are perfectly capable of getting on with things in their own way.

The most successful technique that I know is to STOP – the moment you recognize that what you are doing is not what you should abe doing – even when it’s what you desperately want to be doing.

STOP – in mid-flow, mid-mood, mid-word. However revved up you are, however driven you feel to complete your compelling drama, you stop.

Whatever you tell yourself, no one can force you to behave badly. You may have developed some habits of reacting that feel completely out of your control. And certainly you will have unsconscious as well as conscious drives that can feel extremelypowerful. But not even your habits or drives can make you replay behaviors that no longer fit with your values or benefit you and other people.

The moment you recognize that your behavior is hurting yourself or someone else – you can stop. Awareness of consequences is key to conscious living. It is so empowering to know this.

As you get worked up, you may feel as though you are powerless to stop. And if you are drunk or taking drugs you will certainly have radically diminished your power to choose. But you are not powerless. As you begin to write that hurtful e-mail, you can stop. As you open your mouth to say something unkind, you can close it. As you begin to collapse into your preferred pose of self-pity, you can straighten up.

Your power to choose grows with practice

Before action

In the moment before taking action resides our power to do good, as well as to prevent harm. In less than the time it takes to think a thought, we are directing ourselves – and choosing.

From Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials, by Stephanie Dowrick in Collaboration with Catherine Greer. Penguin Group, NY. 2005, pp 183-184. (Note: This book is a MUST for anyone interested in self improvement. The insights are powerful but not preachy and the advice is “right on.” Irene)

We are each responsible for the choices we make. I urge you to live consciously and make choices you and those around you can live with – literally.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: choices, individual responsibility, self improvement, shooting in tucson

When Everything Goes Right

November 20, 2009 By ireneconlan 2 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

Did you ever have one of those days when everything went wrong? Most likely your answer is “yes.” The other day when I had two newly written art icles disappear into cyberspace I thought I was having a bad day, but I was wrong. You do know what I mean about having a bad day, though, don’t you?

Well, then, did you ever have one of those days when everything went right? For some of you that’s a little harder to remember, but think about it. Most of us have lots of those days, but we just aren’t aware of them. We remember the bad ones but we pay no attention to the good ones.We take them for granted.

What would a good day look like to you? Have you ever thought about it?

Perhaps you get up feeling really good – a clear mind after a good nights sleep, ready for the day. At work things go smoothly and you leave with a feeling of accomplishment (or at least of getting something done). The evening isn’t spectacular but it is pleasant. For the day you have clean clothes, plenty to eat, a job, a comfortable environment and pleasant people around you. Wouldn’t you call that a good day?

Some of you are thinking BOR-ING.

A good day, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. A good day is held in the palm of your – attitude.

We probably all know people who, while they have everything money can buy, don’t seem to enjoy a good day. There are just so many things to worry about, so many things that can go wrong. We know others who, with very little, have one good day after another. There are so many things to appreciate and so many things that go right.

Right now, as you read this, what kind of day are you creating for yourself? Oh, yes. You create your day – by what you think, by what you do, by your attitude. So if you create it, why not create a good one?

Take a moment or two to think about it. Each of us is different so I can’t describe for any of you what would constitute a good day.

Is a good day one in which nothing goes wrong? Or can it be a day in which, even though some things go wrong, you find solutions?

Every day has the potential of being a good day. It is you who make it good or bad.

Simplistic? You betcha.

It’s all in the attitude and in the choices you make.

What kind of day are you going to have?

I intend for everything to go right.

Filed Under: Gratitude/appreciation Tagged With: attitude, bad day, choices, good day, self improvement

Be an Epicure of Happiness

October 10, 2009 By Guest Contributor 2 Comments

By Mary Kay Buttery –

Some people are lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, happiness can be a matter of choice, not just luck.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way! There is a glow about them. They are confident in who they are. To them life is a pleasure and an adventure. They aren’t simply trying to be happy; they truly are!

David Lykken, whose name in Norwegian, means “the happiness” noted that “certain thought patterns and interpersonal skills definitely help people become an epicure of experiences”. Take a group of happy people and you will probably come across some or all of the following attributes.

They Can Navigate Through A Current
Sometimes life happens, and the best made plans are laid to rest. However when one falls into a pattern of constantly making excuses, even if only to oneself, it will eventually make an impression on an individuals dynamics, success or happiness. Happy people are adept at taking life in hand. So ultimately life works for them, not against them! This is commonly referred to as “Living In the Flow”.

When something is important, make time even if for just a few minutes. And soon it won’t even have to be considered – it will just happen!

They are Attentive of the Influences Surrounding Them
The people who surround us, the books we read, the entertainment we view – all set a tone or quality to our experience and are forecasters of how happy we feel. Happy people pinpoint then give precedence to rewarding and satisfying aspects in their life. Situations charged with “melodrama” aren’t given influence, so they fall to the wayside.

They “Milk” their Assets
Happy people use their personal strengths to get things done. Everyone possesses unique assets. And we each have different talents and skill sets. So why not use them to ones advantage!

Blind since infancy, Stevie Wonder exploited his sense of hearing and his passion for music. He has 25 Grammy Awards and is a master in his field. Best known as the creator of the Harry Potter fantasy series, J.K Rowling started writing at the age of six. She has also become a notable philanthropist, supporting a variety of charities.

They Abandon Delusions
If only I could—come upon a job that really suits me—meet my “perfect” match—get rid of these extra pound—life would be “perfect”. Happy people know better than to even go there!

People misjudge their contentment and can be overly critical of themselves when they put the limelight on one segment of their life. In one study, single subjects were asked, “How happy are you with your life in general?” and “How many dates did you have last month?” When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed. Happy people are wise to this. They step back and take in the big picture, not just a sliver. If a few “kinks” are found here and there, they are dealt with, or are left to just “be”.

They Sift for An Appropriate Conclusion
The conclusion or outcome of any adventure can make a profound imprint on a person’s overall impression of their experience. If the outcome is equitable, the experience will naturally yield happiness. Happy people look at options that assist them to tie up loose ends and, if possible, conclude matters on a high note.

They Opt to Live Life – Full Out
As much as we all think we want to be happy, many of us have deep rooted beliefs that it’s wrong to be happy (or be too happy). This belief can stem from a religion, culture, or family dynamics and can leave one feeling guilty if they are having fun and are happy.

Research shows that happy people tend to be more open and willing to be of assistance to others. Happy people routinely carry out random acts of kindness without a lot of deliberation as it is inherent for them.

We are able, compassionate beings who are capable of not only giving but also receiving. Giving ourselves the high five and opening to it ALL (though our participation) thus enjoying the whole “enchilada”, would seem to be a very satisfying way to travel through life, as it insures a fulfilling existence.

Pleasures come in all forms. They appear here and there at coincidental moments. You reach into your pocket and find a $10 bill from the last time you wore these jeans. You aren’t rich, but you are richer than you were a second earlier. Welcoming these occasions will bring unexpected sprinkles of happiness throughout the day.

True happiness is priceless. It can’t be bought, and no one can hand it to us. It is part of the human experience, and it comes from within us. Just as soon as one makes the decision to be happy, regardless of their circumstances, it manifests.

Mary Kay is available for private consultations, speaking engagements, etc.. Be sure to visit her website and sign up for her *FREE* Monthly Newsletter, which is filled with inspirational, motivational and helpful information. Ignite your presence, and live in a whole new world of simplicity, ease and enjoyment. To contact her: call 702-239-5451 or e-mail [mailto:mkb1929@gishpuppy.com]mkb1929@gishpuppy.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Kay_Buttery

Filed Under: Happiness, Self Esteem, Stress Management Tagged With: choices, Epicure of Happiness, live fullout, Self Improvement

Little Decisions That Make a Big Difference

Your Life Is A Choice-What Are You Choosing?

Taking the Wrong Road

January 10, 2011 – Choices

Choices

The Invaluable Moment of Choice

Before action

When Everything Goes Right

Be an Epicure of Happiness

Brain Magic

News and Other New Stuff

Listen to Yvonne Perry’s interview with Gaetano Vivo today at 2:55 CDT

Someone You Should Know

Book Reviews

A Review: Lipstick and The Leash: A Woman’s Guide to Getting What You Want from Your Dog & Your Life.

The Oneness Gospel: Birthing the Christ Consciousness and Divine Human in You. A Review

Irene’s Articles

Cleaning out the clutter

Let’s put “Self” Back in Self Improvement