Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
February 6, 2011 – Courage
February 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment
The Power of the Human Spirit
July 30, 2010 By 2 Comments
By Irene Conlan -
Tony Robbins has a new TV show called “Breakthrough”. I’m not a big fan of the Rah-Rah motivational stuff because I’ve found that most of it wears off by the time you get back to the daily grind. But I received several emails from different people urging me to watch and my curiosity was piqued.
I recommend you watch it next Tuesday.
This week the program was about Frank and Kristen. Frank dove into a pool on their wedding night and became a quadriplegic. She became his caregiver and and both of them seemed to be in that place of “quiet desperation ” – Frank feeling helpless and useless and Kristen feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Even though we may not have experienced anything that extreme most of us can say, “Been there, done that.”
Tony Robbins worked with them for one month and the result was dramatic as were the steps to get them there.
Have you ever seen a quadriplegic jump out of an airplane? Me neither. In a million years I wouldn’t have thought of pushing a quadriplegic out of an airplane as good therapy. It just can’t be done!
But it WAS done. They were given a choice and they chose to do it. Frank and Kristen both jumped, supported by seasoned, skilled skydivers. You only needed to look at Frank’s face to know that Robbin’s tactic had been successful. So if he could jump out of an airplane, what else could he do?
The next step was to separate them. They both looked panicked by the though of being apart – how could he possible be o.k. without her? They had not been apart since the accident. They were given a choice and they chose to do it.
Kristen went to a spa for rest, relaxation rejuvenation and pampering. Frank stayed with another quadriplegic and learned to play “murder ball” – a game played in a gym by a group of quadriplegics. He stayed with and observed another quadriplegic who lived a happy, full, “normal” life. Hmmm. Maybe Frank could, too.
It was intense. It was murder. We watched Frank’s expression change from a timid, frightened, what-if-I=get-hurt look to “bring it on.” His entire family was brought to Fiji to watch him play in a real game. Frank played hard and at the end of the game was radiant with the success he had just demonstrated. The family, accustomed to treating him like an invalid, responded first with fear for him and then with astonishment and pride. Frank was back and in some ways better than ever.
One of Frank’s dreams was to restore his old truck and race on the desert. His friends and family helped him do that and Tony Robbins came to share the first ride. Another stunning victory for Frank – and for Kristen who was freed from Frank”s disability and allowed to become the wife again.
Of course we didn’t see the doubt, the pain, the fear, the failures that went on behind the scenes and they most certainly had to be there. What we did see was a spectacular result in two people who triumphed over personal disaster.
Yes it was dramatic. Yes, it was extreme. Yes, Tony Robbins, pushed them beyond the limits – or did he?
My questions for you, as you reflect on your own life are:
- What are your limits? Are they real or imagined?
- If you were given those choices how would you respond?
- Do you truly know what you are capable of?
- Do you allow your spirit to soar or do you buckle when trouble hits?
- When is the last time you challenged yourself to do something that intimidated you or pushed your limits?
- What is ONE THING you would do if you just had the courage?
Well, what are you waiting for?
Thanks, Tony, for reminding me of the power of the human spirit.
Let’s Focus on Self Esteem – Part III Courage
January 5, 2010 By Leave a Comment
By Irene Conlan -
Two friends were walking along the road together and suddenly came upon a group of children who were about to be attacked by a vicious dog. One grabbed a large stick by the side of the road to defend the children and scare off the dog while the other one stood and watched. It isn’t hard to determine which one had courage. We admire people who are brave and who defend us and others who cannot defend themselves – the military, firemen, policemen, paramedics, etc. We cheer in movies when the brave “good guy” wins.
Today we will focus on the strength group representing Courage. In the courage group are
- Valor and bravery
- Perseverance/Industry/Diligence
- Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty
Valor and Bravery – we all have our own idea of bravery and generally we think of our men and women in the military defending us on foreign fields. Most of them are truly brave and we should be grateful for them always. They, and others, put themselves in harm’s way in our behalf on a regular basis. They are in true physical danger and face it regularly.
Those who stand up for what they believe even if it isn’t popular are also brave – they are morally brave. Martin Luther certainly fit this category as well as our founding fathers who stood against the king of England. Martyrs who died for their faith and those who didn’t flinch when their beliefs were threatened are examples of this kind of bravery. It takes great courage to stand alone against a crowd.
There are also those who are psychologically brave. I work with a group that helps those who are grieving the loss of a 
loved one. There are those who want to throw in the towel right away – they want to die rather than pick up the pieces and they expect everyone to help them. On the other hand, there are those who have suffered multiple losses and serious setbacks, who get up and go on, active in their own healing. These are the brave ones. When serious illness strikes there are those who crumble and those who stand and fight it and at the same time reach out to help others. I knew a woman named Joni Erickson Tada who, a quadriplegic since a diving accident as a young woman, faced life again and learned to paint brilliantly with a brush between her teeth and became an inspiration to millions. This is courage.
We do not all have the strength of bravery but we so admire those who do. Where do you fit?
Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty
I can’t say this better than Selegman who, in Authentic Happiness says:
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a “real” person. By integrity and genuineness I mean more than just telling the truth to others. I mean representing yourself – your intentions and commitments – to others and to yourself in sincere fashion, whether by word or deed. “To Thine own self, bge true, and thou canst not then be false to any man.” (Authentic Happiness, p. 147)
There was once someone in my life who had a habit of lying – even when it didn’t serve any purpose for him. I would hear him telling a lie even when the truth would have been better in the situation. I asked him once why he did that and he couldn’t answer me. It was a long standing habit and he wasn’t interested in changing it. I came to distrust everything he said and soon was not able to stay in that friendship. He as dishonest in other things as well and hurt many others because of his lack of integrity – mainly he hurt himself. He made big claims about himself but didn’t walk his talk.
Sometimes it takes great courage to stand for what you believe to be the truth and it takes real bravery to be true to yourself when everyone around you urges you to be “someone else.”
There are courageous people all around us. Are you one of them?
Is courage one of your strengths?
Recommended reading:
Authentic Happiness Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Poetential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin E.P Seligman, N.Y., Free Press, 2002.
What would you have done in Richmond to help the girl?
October 30, 2009 By 1 Comment
By Irene Conlan -
A fifteen year old girl was held for two hours and raped repeatedly in a dark place on the campus of a local high school. Six men ranging in age from 15 to 21 have been arrested. It’s interesting that they were wearing bulletproof vests. They must have expected some serious trouble for what they planned to do that night. Of course they’re innocent until proven guilty.
But as horrible as the acts they committed are the acts of the bystanders – an estimated twp dozen people. Some took pictures on their cell phones. Some cheered. Some laughed. Approximately 24 people stood around watching a 15 year old girl being raped over and over. No one did anything to help the girl. Some said they were afraid they would be victims as well if they did anything to help.
Couldn’t at least one person have walked away and called for help?
Where on earth were the security guards that were supposed to be guarding the perimeter of the school? Not even they were available to help this girl. Would they have been afraid as well?
The girl was released from the hospital but no one said how damaged she was, how her life will never be the same. No one is talking about the nightmares, the terror, the guilt and shame she will most likely experience for the rest of her life. Guilt and shame? Yes. Most rape victims carry great guilt and shame because society makes them the guilty one (“She must have led them on,” they say) and because her own mind tries to find a reason for the heinous thing that happened to her. Six (or more) men left her still living but, in essence, they took her life that night.
Have we as a society lost our sense of honor? Lost our courage to stand up for what’s right? We read about super heroes in the comic books and watch them in the movies and on TV, but where is someone with just a little courage when another human being is in serious danger and is being violated?
One of the girls there, the one who eventually called the police, told a reporter, “They think it’s cool. They weren’t raised to respect girls.” http://www.contracostatimes.com/news/ci_/ci_13669616?nclick_check=1
That same reporter/editorial writer goes on to write:
We do not, as a society, respect girls. We teach them from birth that sexy is cute, sexy is beautiful, sexy is the way to get attention. From baby shirts that say “Hot Chick” to preschool dance classes where little girls learn to bump and grind, there’s no escaping it. By the time they’re in middle school, girls know that sexy gets more attention from boys than brainy or athletic or tough.
About boys he writes:
But I think it’s even harder for parents of boys. How do you raise a son to be caring and responsible in a culture that too often portrays women as whores and men as warriors and thugs? Movies and video games turn killing into harmless fun. The men carry guns and slap their women around. And the women keep coming back for more.
So, does this excuse it? Absolutely not! The boys who did this are in need of serious help. No one has taught them how to be men. They are cowards who must rely on their group or gang for courage. But there is no excuse.
Nor is there excuse for the bystanders. They, too, are cowards afraid to stand up for what’s right.
What would you have done? I like to think that I would have at least slipped away and called for help – on the phone and at the dance where the security guards were hanging out.
What can we do to re-establish honor and respect for one another? It is a very complex problem. How do we teach men not to hit women? How do we teach women to respect themselves? How do we help young people learn “Your freedom ends where my nose begins?”
Isn’t self improvement concerned with courage, compassion, and responding to calls for help from those in need or in trouble? I like to think so.
Videos for the Week of September 27, 2009
September 27, 2009 By Leave a Comment
First Video: The Rules for Being Human -
While these really aren’t “rules” the statements here are food for thought, perhaps giving some a different way of thinking about life and its lessons. To me it says, “Live life fully and embrace it’s lessons, learning as much from failure as from success. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or dare to try something new. What your life becomes is totally up to you.”
The Second Video – Kevin Skinner
You are probably aware that Kevin Skinner won America’s Got Talent and that his winning has stirred up a lot of controversy. He and Barbara Padilla were the final two – she an opera singer and Kevin a country/western singer. Both had stories of struggle and victory. She is a cancer survivor while he is an unemployed chicken catcher. She is polished and educated. He is a rough cut stone that comes across as near illiterate. They both come across as sincere, talented, longing for musical careers. Both deserved winning.
But Kevin Skinner won. And some are not pleased. Well, I say to them, “Get over it.” Kevin Skinner won. Let him have it. Don’t take the joy away from him with your sour grapes. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Barbara Padilla and personally wanted her to win. But I voted for both of them because there is something so simple and pure about Kevin Skinner and his voice is so lovely and unaffected that he almost demanded some votes. Don’t say he has no talent, just listen to him sing and feel the tenderness and sincerity in his song.
BOTH are examples of overcoming adversity to achieve success. BOTH exemplify following your heart and achieving your dream.
My life has been enriched by seeing and hearing BOTH of them. I wish them joy in their new careers.
Let those who criticize have the courage to do what Kevin Skinner did. It was a big risk to sing for millions of viewers. The risk paid off.
Courage to Be Different
September 18, 2009 By 2 Comments
Not everyone wants to stand out from the crowd and do things differently from everyone else. Some people enjoy going with the flow and being the average person. To those who want to stand apart, I’m writing to you today.
It takes courage to be different. A courageous woman sees changes that need to be made in her life, family or situation and despite opposition; she goes forward and makes those changes. Many times important responsibilities to be done are not for the faint of heart. Each time one embraces a challenge in spite of opposition, she becomes a stronger person. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Taking the leap of faith to home school, as one example, is not an easy task. You may not have the support or encouragement of your friends and family. While in public you may be scrutinized or criticized vocally or in passing judgmental whispers and stares. Susan B. Anthony, wise woman that she was said this, “Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.”
One thing I’ve noticed is if we share a decision we’re making with friends, and we don’t have a strong resolution one way or the other, the person listening may think it is an open invitation to sway you in the way they think you should go. I’ve learned through experience that a well meaning friend or family member may add to my confusion in important decisions and I have lost courage temporarily in my resolve. I now try to be careful in mentioning a decision or problem that has not been resolved or decided upon, unless I respect her take on it and want her wisdom and advice. It is a good rule to make important life decisions between you, God and your spouse. I find that I can share openly once the decision is made, without waffling back and forth.
I’ve never been a “by the book” person and I choose the road less traveled. I have a large family. I’m religious. I home school my children. By all accounts, I’m not your typical peanut butter and jelly. I’m more roast beef on rye. That’s okay. What matters most is that your own life decisions bring you great joy. I love my life and I know I’m doing what is right for me and my family. My life decisions also bring opposition in the form of criticisms from many who don’t understand. Just knowing this makes it easier at times to resist the opposition, knowing that it will come.
Take courage. If you are thinking of making an important change in your life, especially one that goes against societies “norm” such as homeschooling, joining a new church, or staying home instead of working 9-5 at a regular job, know that it is not without sacrifice, but it is always worth it in the end. I would much rather have no regrets than live wishing I had taken the leap of faith to be a little different for a better good. Let each criticism strengthen your resolve and forge through, move forward, continue on. You are not alone. Many times I am relieved and happy to find others who are making the sacrifice to be courageous too. Don’t forget that, in being different for a better good, you are making a difference in your life and an example in the lives of those who know you.
Shiloah Baker is a mother of seven children and homemaker who resides in North Carolina. She is the owner of Homemaking Cottage & Co., a website which offers homemaking related articles, books, eBooks, ideas, other homemaking related materials, and a subscription service. For more information go to: http://www.homemaking-cottage.com or her blog at http://homemakingcottageblog.blogspot.com to learn how she raises seven children and runs a business at home.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shiloah_Baker
Increasing Your Self-Acceptance
July 17, 2008 By Leave a Comment
By Joe Love http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Joe_Love
Your level of self-acceptance, or how much you like yourself and consider yourself to be a valuable and worthwhile person is one of the most important measures of who you are and indicators of everything that happens to you. How much you like and accept yourself lies at the core of your personality.
Your level of self-acceptance determines your level of energy and the quality of your personality. How much you like yourself determines how much you like other people and in turn how much they like you. Your level of self-acceptance determines your self-confidence, courage, and willingness to try new things. It determines the quality of your relationships with others, your family, friends, and coworkers. Your level of self-acceptance determines how successful you are in business. [Read more...]
Self Improvement and High and Low Tides
March 4, 2008 By Leave a Comment
While I’ve been in La Paz I have become fascinated with the tides. Early in the morning the tide is high and the waves come way up on the beach close to the condo and by 8 a.m. they are beginning to recede. “Aligator Rock” is almost covered with water at high tide, only the tip peeking out but at low tide the whole rock is visible and it is easy to walk out to it, have a seat and fish or watch the boats go back and forth. The ships come in to Pichilingua not far from La Paz, close enough so I can watch them in the Bay. They sit in the bay until high tide and then dock, remaining there until the next high tide to leave. In the picture you see a tanker which has been at the dock overnight leaving at high tide – about 7:30 a.m. this morning. [Read more...]
Posada La Poza. What Does It Teach About Self Improvement?
March 1, 2008 By Leave a Comment
We wound through the dirt streets of Todos Sanctos until we saw its signs, and then turned onto a rough, rocky, winding dirt road that seemed to be taking us off the edge of nowhere. And then, as we rounded a curve, there it was Posada La Poza. Its intense yellow color and the bright pink and purple bougainvillea set it in sharp contrast to the deep blues of the Pacific Ocean that framed one side of the resort.
We had to ring a bell and wait while someone came with a key to let us in through an immense wrought iron gate but the welcome was warm and inviting. Some steps up the outside of one of the buildings took us up to an outside dining area termed the “Whale Watching Deck” and we found a table at the ocean side of the patio. The people at the neighboring table told us where to watch for whales and in a moment or two we spotted them playing not too far from shore. They were there for the duration of our three hour stay. Some would come close to the shore where they could scrape up against the rough ocean wall to scrape off the barnacles that had attached themselves to the whale’s enormous body. They were fascinating to watch as they played. [Read more...]
