Most of us have aches and pains, physical and emotional and would like to feel better. Here are some thoughts about achieving that goal.
Eat well, sleep well, exercise. Easy enough to say and utterly necessary for anyone who wants to feel better. Not always easy to do. Exercise is hard for me. I read a book a long time ago which makes it easier than most. It is called
Total Fitness in 30 Minutes a week.
You are right, it says 30 minutes a WEEK. It was written by Laurence E. Morehouse who designed the exercise programs for the astronauts. If you follow this book’s directions, you can be quite fit with a very modest effort.
As far as sleeping well, it is easy to find solutions on the web if you are having trouble. It is worth looking into in any case. Eating well is so much in the news; I’ll leave it to you to find the best diet for you.
A lot of our pain comes from held tension. Most people hold it in their abdomens and shoulders. Drop your shoulders! The trick is to pay attention to the tension in your shoulders and let them drop. Usually your abdomen will drop too. Check your shoulders often during the day and let them drop. You’ll feel better.
Simplify your life. Start with the closet and the garage; throw away trash, give away good stuff or sell it on eBay or Craigslist, or have a big yard sale. Once you get physical stuff out of your hair, redo your schedule. Don’t overbook. Leave lots of empty space in your week so you can relax.
Forgive: A lot of our distress comes from old grudges we refuse to let go of. Year of psychotherapy may reveal that your parents made mistakes in raising you. They surely did. Forgive them. Unconditionally. You’ll feel better. Robert Frost wrote a poem about forgiveness:
“Oh God, forgive me the little jokes I’ve played on you, and I will forgive the big one you played on me.”
If you think you have been mistreated in any way by any agent in this or another world, forgive right now.
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky. List 3 things every day that are positive. Studies with severely depressed people have shown that they have had significant relief from their depression using just this technique. Write down three positives now. 50% of our ability to become happier depends on built-in factors we cannot change. 10 % of our ability to be happy comes from our circumstances; rich or poor, etc. We can change some of this a bit. So 40% of our happiness factor is entirely within our ability to change.
We all need to feel worthwhile. Get a dog. You will quickly feel worthwhile. The dog loves you primarily because you feed him, but it still feels good.
A minister read in a scientific journal that it takes 21 days of repeating the same action in order to form a habit. He felt that the world would be a better place if everyone developed the habit of not complaining. He devised a bracelet and instructed his followers to shift the bracelet from one wrist to the other whenever they complained. Primarily, this brings to your attention how often you complain, and you will soon complain less. That is good for you and for everyone around you.
Think positive. Whatever happens, find something positive about it. This will relax you and relieve the inevitable tension that comes with dissatisfaction.
People interact in basically three ways: Aggressively, assertively, and passively. The aggressive person takes care of himself with no regard for the welfare of others. The passive person allows other to take advantage. The assertive person takes care of himself while also watching out for the other guy. If you can find an assertiveness training workshop or class to attend, you will improve your relationships with others. You can also look it up on the web and learn how to be assertive.
Lastly, however bad things get, you can always tell yourself that you know that you can make it through the next 5 minutes.
There are many other techniques you can learn from books and websites. Warm wishes to you as you begin to feel better.
Jack Wilson is a writer and artist in Tempe, Arizona: http://krikofanto.blogspot.com
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