Self-Improvement | Forgiveness | The Self Improvement Blog

How to Improve Your Self Esteem and Self Worth

March 4, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

My children constantly give me some great insights and this particular one came from my eldest, Sonnie. One day I notice he went overboard with the ketchup on his dinner. When I asked him why all the ketchup he said he didn’t like the taste of the food and all this ketchup takes the horrible taste away. Ketchup behaviours make life taste a little better whilst masking an underlying uncomfortable feeling or a feeling of emptiness.

Somebody asked me the other day, “Why do many people arrive in midlife depressed or out of sorts?”

My response was, because many of us arrive at midlife with a lot of unhappiness inside us without even realising it, or we know it but we don’t want to face it up to it. In an effort to cover up the pain we’re likely to develop some serious addictions in order to feel better.

We get into immediate remedies – for example medications, coffee, cigarettes, gossiping, alcohol, drugs, gambling and sex. You might become a workaholic. Or you may stuff yourself with food.

Many things we do bring us instant pleasure but not always happiness. Activities like these change how you feel fast, that’s their appeal, but they’re a bad idea. At best they will change how you feel for a few hours but when the hit wears off you feel more emptiness than you did before.

Of course there are countless positive ways of getting instant gratification as well. Something as simple as taking a shower after a long run, getting a massage, watching a funny movie and of course, shopping. We all should indulge in various forms of pleasure as they’re essential to our overall well being.

But remember pleasure is different from happiness.

Happiness is a feeling of fulfilment and deep joy, whereas pleasure is usually a form of instant gratification. This can be the challenge with excessive materialism. The more we feed it the hungrier it becomes. Similar to eating your favourite chocolate, once eaten you’re soon looking for one more bite or the next cake. The craving doesn’t subside. Contentment becomes elusive. So the craving for the next hit begins again along with the deep feelings of insecurity and anxiety.

Ketchup behaviours work in the short term but in the long term it does nothing more than reinforce an impoverish sense of self. Nothing external, no amount of cars, nice outfits, expensive holidays, glittery jewellery or big houses can fill the hole of a poor self-image and low self-worth.

Commonly this is known as having an ‘inferiority complex’

It’s a learnt belief that says you’re incomplete without the attainment of something outside of yourself. Self-worth comes from knowing who you are and what you stand for. When you have self-worth you feel good about yourself, you respect yourself. Self-worth means knowing you are perfect just the way you are and accepting yourself completely.

One of the reasons we fail to attract what we want is low self-worth. Self-worth is completely subjective and may or may not depend on your talents, skills and achievements. If you have a feeling that you are not worthy of having the life you want, then you will not manifest the life you want. Full stop!

It is not the skills, talents, and experience but a high sense of self-worth which manifests the life you want. So it is very important to improve your sense of self worth to attract the life you desire.

One of the main reasons for low self-worth is excessive self-criticism and the instant accepting of criticism from others. If self-criticism is your problem, stop looking at you through your own eyes and start looking through the eyes of the people who love you. Many a times it is true that because of your obsessive self-criticism you are blind to your positive qualities.

Sometimes it so happens that you start attracting the wealth, health, love and success that you strongly desire, but your poor self-worth will quickly sabotage any success you are having. You’ve probably seen this happen to people who are suspicious of their lovers because of their jealousy. At first, their intrinsic worthiness attracts the love of their life, but their low self-worth is not ready to accept this, and the worst part is they start suspecting it’s their loves fault. Then, the thing they desire (their lover) is pushed away. And so the pattern repeats itself.

At midlife we have to work hard at undoing the learnt erroneous scripts formed in the first part of our lifetime so that we can find our individual expression of wisdom and truth.

Here are four things you can do to increase your self worth:

1. Practice Forgiveness – Forgive yourself for past failures, mistakes and disappointments. Forgiveness releases the strong feelings of hate and bitterness that are like poisons inside you. Correct what you can and move on!

2. Get your needs met – Learn what you need from others and how you react to situations. Strive to consistently find ways to meet your needs and your self worth will go up!

3. Respect yourself – Stop behaviors that make you feel ashamed, guilty or unworthy. Eliminate all negative relationships with those who mistreat, disrespect and leave you feeling crap!

4. Build on your strengths – Seek out and build on your strengths that you have not used. Find ways of using more of your innate strengths. Knowing that you have these strengths and can do well with them is a great confidence and self worth builder.

Low self-worth is something we’ve learnt, so it’s also something we can unlearn. Make it a clear intention to love and accept yourself at all times. Working on your self worth is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself and before long you’ll notice you’ll rely less on ‘ketchup behaviours’ and every aspect of your life will start looking better and better.

Colin Hiles writes about how to find your smile, discover your right livelihood and create your ideal life at Midlife Maverick.

If you enjoyed this article you may wish to download his acclaimed free e-course, “Live Your Own Life, Only Better!” http://midlifemaverick.com/live-your-own-life-only-better

Or, Join his ezine and get “Breaking Free” ebook as a gift. http://www.midlifemaverick.com/breaking-free

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: Forgiveness, self improvement, Self Esteem, self worth

Find Freedom in Forgiveness

February 6, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Cauwna Bowman -

For years, you may have been told that the key to a peaceful existence is forgiveness. And for years, you probably wondered how forgiving someone who had done you wrong was beneficial to you. Most would consider that forgiving someone is a sign of weakness; that you are telling the offending party that what they did to you was okay. Sorry to be the one to tell you that you’re actually the one that’s wrong.

Letting Go

The act of forgiving isn’t easy. It takes a lot to let go of the hurt and pain that is a result of something that someone did to you. When the offense first occurs you will find yourself asking questions like, “how could they” or “why would they do that to me”? The problem with asking those questions is that, depending on how bad the situation is, you may never get answers.

Find the strength to forgive, leads to you finding the power to let go. When you harbor resentment of any kind, it’s like a wound. It will fester and begin to ooze into areas of your life that have nothing to do with it. Anger is an emotion that will always find a way to manifest itself. It’s an emotion that gets worse over time. It’s an emotion that will eat away at you.

They Aren’t Mad. Why Are You?

Do you think that the person you’re mad with is really sitting around pining over your hurt feelings? Just as easy as it was for them to commit whatever personal crime against you that they committed; it was just as easy for them to say “oh, they’ll get over it”. This is not to say that they weren’t bothered that they hurt you. However, once they noticed you weren’t coming around any time soon, they pretty much got over it. The same way they feel you should.

Forgiving Doesn’t Always Mean Forgetting

People always suggest that one should forgive and forget. Realistically, it’s far easier said than done. Being hurt, especially by someone you thought cared about you, is bite that takes some time to lose its sting. Humans function on emotions and are entitled to their personal feelings. It’s alright if you find it in your heart to forgive someone; yet you realize that your mind won’t forget what they did. It only means that you are a person who is fully aware of the inability to easily trust someone who has already proven that they cannot be trusted with your feelings.

There is also nothing wrong with forgiving someone and not being sure if you are still open to maintaining a relationship with them; on any level. Forgiving the person who has hurt you has nothing to do with helping them find peace within themselves. It’s all about restoring peace in your own life by releasing any negative emotions and energy that are simply occupying space in your spirit. Remember, whenever you plant a seed, you expect it to grow. What do you think happens when you allow someone’s actions to plant a seed of anger and you continuously water it with attention?

Rediscover your freedom. Forgive. Not for them but for yourself.

For every lesson in life, there’s an article to be written!

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Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: emotional freedom, Forgiveness, self improvement

Do You Seek the Stink?

November 30, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Sally Marks -

I was watching my two granddaughters a couple of days ago and four-year-old Rosannah was in a bad mood. It was bed time and I asked her to choose a story for me to read to her and her sister. She asked for a couple of books I did not see. I had a feeling it was a stalling tactic to avoid going to bed so I asked if she wanted me to read from a princess book I had recently given her for her birthday.

“I want the one about the STINKY princess!” she demanded.

I knew there was no such book, so I pulled out the traditional and unscented version and decided to improvise.

While stinky scenarios such as farting, stepping in dog poo and pooping in your pants are the kind of comedy four-year-olds love, no one really wants to hear about that behavior in princesses. These classy royal highnesses have an image to maintain after all. Rosannah quickly opted for the “not stinky princess” edition.

That is not to say that Rosannah won’t laugh at a book that features a farting dog, Pepe le Pew or some other odoriferous character, but in my granddaughter’s eyes (and nose) princesses are sacrosanct from fetid bodily emanations. I’m sure the royal diaper changer has another opinion, but I digress.

Fast forward to last night when I received a call from a man I’ll call George. George called on the guise of giving me information, but basically he wanted to complain. He lamented that he wasn’t seeing the results in his life that he expected and whined about how “nothing” in his life was going well. I reminded him of some of his recent victories and how important it was to build and focus on his successes, show gratitude etc, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. In fact, he was intent on pulling out every negative scenario he could think of and regurgitate it to me. I could tell these stories had been turned into internal movies he played over and over and over again.

Although he said he was unhappy and wanted something better, I suspect his actions to achieve his goals conflicted with his desires. Based on how passionate he was about his tales of woe, I had the feeling he relished in his misery. It made me think of how a dog loves to roll around in poop or some other fetid substance. The difference is the dog doesn’t complain about his smelly circumstances. He WANTS to be stinky. They LOVE that smell. Give a dog a bath, let him run in the backyard and he will seek the stink every time.

If you seek a better way, I can offer a better alternative.

Here are a few tips.

Don’t blame others for your problems.

Lose the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life – bumps and all. Life is not something that is handed to you, it is something you create. Adopt a proactive approach that shifts from “What can I get?” to “What can I contribute?” Next time you find yourself wanting to point a blaming finger at someone else, take note of your hand. While your finger and thumb may be pointing at someone else, three fingers are pointed right back at you!

Align yourself with people, situations or organizations that can help put you on a successful path.

Ask yourself, “What am I focusing on?” If it’s not positive, redirect your thoughts.

Take responsibility and find ways to succeed.

If people put more energy into solving problems instead of whining about them, all of our lives would be easier. When Thomas Alva Edison was experimenting with the correct filament for his light bulb, he was unsuccessful more than 1,000 times. Rather than becoming discouraged he is quoted as saying, “We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb”. What an enlightened concept!

Forgive.

Victims are often shackled by their inability, or unwillingness, to forgive others or themselves. Harboring resentments, even those that seem justified, do not help the situation. In fact, it makes it worse. Corrie Ten Boom said, “Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free, only to find out that the prisoner was me.” We cannot change the past. Forgive others, or yourself, and move on. Your heart will be lighter and you will be able to pursue happier endeavors.

In conclusion I ask that you follow my granddaughter’s lead. She could have heard a story about a stinky princess (I already had a plot in mind) but she decided to go with the unscented version. Life isn’t always happily ever after, but if you focus on what’s good in life as opposed to what stinks, it makes more sense (and scents) that you will look, feel and smell a lot better.

Sally Marks
Coauthor of the self-improvement book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Check out her website at http://www.erasenegativity.com.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Forgiveness, Happiness, self improvement, victimhood

7 Steps to Forgiveness

February 19, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Kristin Robertson -

Did you know that forgiveness is good for you?

The process of forgiveness has been shown to have both psychological and physical benefits to the person who is doing the forgiving. Shocking, isn’t it? You may have heard the old axiom, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Now, thanks to recent research conducted by venerable psychologists, there is clinical proof that non-forgiveness is bad for you. Dr. Fred Luskin, in his book called Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness notes that the results of his and other scientific studies show that “People who are taught to forgive become less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious, less stressed, more confident, and they learn to like themselves more.” (p. 78)

Would you like to have less anger, depression and stress in your life? Would you like to be more confident and like yourself more? Forgiveness is an answer.

Although I admire many of Dr. Luskin’s techniques for teaching forgiveness, I’d like to offer my own “Seven Steps to Forgiveness” in a nutshell in this article.

Some preliminary words: Forgiveness is a process, not an event.

If something or someone has deeply hurt you, you may find it difficult to forgive quickly – although it is possible, and to be able to forgive immediately is my personal goal. Believe me, I am not there yet. You may not even be aware of people or situations that you need to forgive, but their memories may be festering in your cellular tissue, unconsciously depleting your energy and vitality. As you become aware of these issues, practice these steps to lighten your energetic load, clear your heart and live more peacefully, knowing that forgiveness will happen on your own individual time table.

Also, this technique is what works for me today. I reserve the right to amend and change this approach as I learn more! As mentioned before, I intend to get to a point of grace in which I can forgive people and events as they happen. But I know I am not there yet.

Step One: Identify exactly how you feel. Write extensively and expressively about the situation/person/event, sharing your deepest thoughts, emotions and needs. Many spiritual teachers understand the power of writing – it wrests your feelings from the more primitive emotional brain and allows the analytical brain a chance to examine the subject. Both my husband and I keep a journal because it helps rid the psyche of negative emotions. Write until you feel you can write no more.

Step Two: Talk to a trusted friend, partner or adviser about this subject. This is an important step to help you fully identify and acknowledge the emotions, but also to get another person’s perspective on the situation.

Step Three: Consider and write about the situation from the other person’s point of view. What might they have felt? What was going on in their life behind the scenes, as it were? What were their needs? What did you do to contribute to the situation? In my experience, this is a difficult but transformational step.

Step Four: Consider and write about the situation in the third person, as if you are a newspaper journalist writing about it. Include only the discernible facts about the event, only what a neutral third party would have observed if they had been there. This step helps to build perspective.

Step Five: Construct a forgiveness letter to the person who aggrieved you, acknowledging the emotions that person might have felt, their needs and what elements of their background might explain their actions. You do not need to send this letter or talk to the person in order to benefit from this step.

Additionally in this step, consider how you can move from being a victim in this situation to the hero. Forgiving is certainly heroic. In what other ways can you write yourself as the hero/heroine?

Step Six: Decide what actions you will take, whether it is legal action or a conversation with the other person. Remember, forgiveness is not the same as condoning, and there are times in which legal action is needed. However, legal action taken in the spirit of forgiveness will be much less stressful for you than otherwise. Your energy will be clear.

Step Seven: Your brain has been trained to tell your grievance story about this situation every time you think about it or the other person. You need to re-train your brain to rest in forgiveness, you need to stop your negative, blaming or self-blaming thoughts in their tracks. Catch yourself immediately upon thinking of the grievance, take a deep breath and bless the other person and yourself. In this manner you will re-pave the neural pathways in your brain so your habitual thoughts won’t do the blame game like a CD on repeat.

If you like what you’ve read so far, you might check out my book, A Forgiveness Journal, put in on your bedside table, look at it every night before going to bed. Also, you’ll want to sign up for my free monthly newsletter at http://www.brioleadership.com

Kristin is President and Head Coach of Brio Leadership, a coaching, consulting and training firm that helps builds spiritually intelligent individuals and teams so they can live lives of integrity, meaning and fulfillment. She believes that incorporating spiritual intelligence in the workplace is a way to positively transform lives and create highly productive work environments.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: forgive, Forgiveness, Productivity, workplace

Bitterness – The Silent Killer

February 11, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Onyinye Ezemenari -

Cancers, ulcers, high blood pressure…the list goes on. Most times I wonder why some people come down with these terminal diseases and others don’t. Are they unfortunate or unlucky? I can’t explain. It just happens I guess, but some attitudes tends to expose us more to these diseases and one of them is BITTERNESS.

I don’t really want to share on how bitterness can cause diseases. I am sharing about how to maintain a happier life and nobody is happy with bitterness.

Bitterness…That feeling of anger you have when you feel that you have been treated unfairly. You feel unhappy, unforgiving and totally sad. You have this grudge against that thing or person that is the source of your anger. Probably a friend, colleague, boss, parent, etc. Bitterness seems to dry off the traces of smile on your face. It determines when you will or will not be happy. This is because each time you come in contact with the source of your anger, your mood swings ( Talk about a U-turn)!

If you ask me, it’s not worth it. Nothing and nobody is worth determining when you will be happy.

I want you to picture this scenario: You are in your favorite bar. Having fun with your friends, you know, discussing the good, bad and ugly things. Then this girl walks in. She is the one that cost you your last job because she told a lie behind your back. She walks in, totally unaware of your presence. Suddenly it seems as if some remote control just paused your world. In a twinkle of an eye, the smiles are gone, you go quiet and your mood drops.Then without saying a word to your friends, you picked your stuff and get out of the bar because you can’t stand her presence after all she did to you. You go home, slip into depression and do you know the terrible part? While you are at home, killing yourself in depression and self-pity, she is having fun at the bar!

She didn’t even notice you! This is foolishness sweetie, I mean get wise! Why would somebody be killing you and having fun and you still allow it? Is it worth it? Get off it please! I mean, the harm has already been done, so is it best to further let it detoriate? Whoever it was that hurt you in the past and you are yet to forgive him/her has an edge over you. You give the power to rule your life over to someone when you don’t forgive. Save yourself today and you know how? Forgive, let it go and move on! Getting depressed, being bitter killing yourself over it has never and will never help and believe me, that’s a sure way to invite high blood pressure and other terminal diseases.

So why live with bitterness and give the power to live a happier, healthier life to someone else? That’s too much to surrender baby. Think about it: To live a longer, happier, better life, forgiving, letting go and moving on OR To live a sickly, sad, terrible life unforgiving, bearing grudges and being revengeful. Take a pick…

http://www.nennie-happylife.blogspot.com

[http://www.someonecarez.org]

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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: bitterness, diseases, Forgiveness, high blood pressure

The Power of Compassion

November 30, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Bronnie Ware -

What is compassion to you? Is it something you ever give thought to? Are you aware of a time you have received compassion? And if so, how did it leave you feeling? Are you able to think of a time when you had compassion for someone else and acted in a kinder way as a result? Or is it something not terribly prominent in your thinking or behave? It may be that it is simply not something that you think about. Or used to think about at least. The compassion seed is now hopefully being planted.

Compassion is kindness, sympathy, consideration and especially empathy, the ability to put yourself, as best as possible, into another’s shoes to feel the situation properly. Thomas Merton, a gentle and wise scholar from last century best describes it as ‘the keen awareness of the interdependence of all things’.

It is a human emotion, yes. There are plenty of human emotions that I could speak of. But compassion is also a powerful force when applied. It generates loving energy to whomever it is directed to. It also gives the giver a feeling of love from within, an opening of the heart.

Compassion has the power to turn everything around. If we are able to view life from a compassionate place within, we let go of the ego and its need to be right, to dissolving the ego and working from the heart. It is choosing to be emotionally mature, letting go of ourselves and our need to validate.

Instead of carrying on after a disagreement with someone, both losing valuable time from the relationship due to stubbornness, hurt, or being unforgiving towards the other for years sometimes, we can choose to look at the situation from a place of compassion instead. It doesn’t mean that you necessarily agree with the actions of that person. It means that you make a conscious choice to not carry that energy with you anymore.

By choosing to look at a situation with compassion, we are more able to look kindly towards others, to see their own frailties and recognise our own. All of us are simply trying to be happy and avoid suffering. None of us are immune to learning, making mistakes, or having said or done something that has hurt another. We are all learning, constantly, whether we consciously choose to or not.

If we can remove our ego from the situation, our need to be right, and see the other person’s opinions or words as an expression of who they are now, which is a result of all of who they have been and what they have experienced up to this point, then the situation naturally softens immediately. We don’t have to agree with everything. Compassion is not about being walked over and trying to be a martyr by saving others. It is simply recognising that all of us have goodness and all of us have humanness, which at times shows up in less favourable or desirable ways.

If a person is speaking unkindly, they are not in their natural space. We are born as loving creatures with our hearts wide open. Through years of wounds and fears, we often act from a place disconnected from our own true wisdom. We have forgotten the loving person we truly are, or the person speaking to you in an offensive way has forgotten who they are. We do have a choice as to how we respond however.

We can add more suffering to suffering by causing hurt, or we can choose to come from a place of emotional maturity and view the situation through compassionate eyes. The ego will rear up and try to hold on. As you are now working from the heart not the head, the ego is losing power, which it does not like. But over time, as we grow and develop in compassion it becomes a natural state for us. Like everything, it gets better with practice.

I grew up in an environment where forgiveness was a constant lesson for me. Even though I endured emotional wounds that took years for me to heal, forgiveness was the only way forward. But how did I do that, when I had become so fragile, sensitive and fearful of exposing myself to more of the same year after year?

It wasn’t until I was able to develop compassion that things began to change. And they changed enormously. Through compassion we learn not to take things personally, because it is really not about us. It is the other person’s suffering that they are dumping on us. So if we are able to detach in a loving way and realise that no matter what has been thrown at us, it is really just a manifestation of the other person’s hurt, then we are able to have compassion for that person and let it go. This not only stops giving more power to negative situations, it allows healing to begin on all levels for everyone involved, including you.

For my own personal situation, I now reap the rewards of such courage by enjoying hugely changed, loving, mature relationships between myself and those mentioned, relationships that I could never have imagined possible.

Whether it is the person serving you at the supermarket, or an impatient driver on the roads, it doesn’t matter. There are opportunities to develop and grow in compassion every single day. It takes work to dissolve the ego and not want to get the last word in, or to be kind to someone who may reject your kindness. Make it about them though, not you. You can then wish kindness toward them and move on, knowing that the power of compassion is in place and is a force well beyond our comprehension, generating the change needed. It is a loving force that permeates every area of your life once developed.

So how does one begin to grow in compassion? How do you develop it? Compassion has to start with ourselves. This is the most difficult part of the whole compassion journey. It has to start with ourselves. We are our own harshest critics and until we learn to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves, we cannot grow in it for others. As Westerners in particular, we can be incredibly harsh on ourselves. Yet we are all children of God, whatever you conceive that to be, and we are all born with the desire to be happy.

We first need to forgive ourselves for things of our past. By continuing to carry regret or guilt, we hold ourselves back from blooming into the people we are here to be. Sure, we would all have done some things differently given the chance, but we are human and we are constantly learning. So forgive yourself and realise that you did what you did as a result of who you were at that time. And you are not that person now. Have compassion for the person you were.

You are constantly growing, constantly evolving into a better person. So be kind to yourself and remember that that was the best you could do back then, as who you were then. And be grateful for the growth in yourself that now recognises this. You must learn to be gentle on yourself. It is the first point of healing for you and for all who come into contact with you.

I am not saying it is easy. I think I cried for four days solid when I first started generating compassion towards myself. And more tears followed as the process continued. It is not dwelling in the victim mentality forever and thinking poor me all the time. Instead, you are recognising the suffering of your own past and generating kindness towards yourself as a result. It is forgiving yourself. It is choosing to love who you were and who you now are, all of you.

The power of compassion is a tangible force, with results unimaginable. It is a force of love, forgiveness, kindness and healing. We all suffer. We all yearn for happiness. We are all capable of healing. Never underestimate the power of compassion. I have seen it heal on all levels of society.

Simply make the choice to be aware of compassion, of it being an option as to how you respond to others. But first and foremost, it is an option as to how you treat yourself.

The power of compassion needs you onboard. Start by generating compassion towards yourself. Recognise your beauty and love yourself, with all of your frailties and mistakes. You are worthy of this love. You are worthy. You are still an incredibly beautiful soul with much to share.

When you are able to be kind on yourself, you are then able to be kind to other people, to animals, to the Earth and to all who need compassion along your path.

With an open heart, the power of compassion flows through you as naturally as the air that you breathe. You owe it yourself.

Be aware of this magnificent force and all that you are capable of being.

Be kind. Be sympathetic. And above all, be compassionate.

Bronnie Ware is a writer, singer/songwriter and songwriting teacher from Australia. Drawing on her diverse background and vast life experiences, Bronnie shares her inspiring observations and insights through her work. To read more of her delightful articles and learn about her other work, please visit Inspiration and Chai at http://www.inspirationandchai.com.

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: better person, change, compassion, Forgiveness, generating compassion, Hope, kindness, Love, power, self improvement, self help

Enhancing Your Self-Esteem: 5 Principles to Remember

November 21, 2010 By Guest Contributor 1 Comment

By Steve Brunkhorst -

Self-esteem enhances performance in every area of life. It is an abundant supply of positive self-regard and recognition of the Creator’s unique gifts to you. It is a favorable opinion of self without feeling the need to prove your worth.

Encouragement given to others is a great catalyst for their achievement, and it is the same for you. When you encourage yourself, you feel more decisive. You are able to tap your potential more quickly.

Here are five important principles to remember about self-esteem:

1. Those with high self-esteem take complete responsibility for what happens in their lives. Instead

of wasting time finding fault, they look for ways to change themselves to create new circumstances.

2. Self-esteem does not need outward approval. It is sufficient in and of itself.The individual will accept

other’s approval with gratitude, but intuitively knows when he or she has done well.

3. Self-esteem sees from a perspective of abundance, not scarcity. It carries the confidence to ask for and accept with gratitude a limitless supply of God’s love and goodness.

4. Self-esteem is filled with faith and forgiveness. The person believes that they can have the life they

desire. They trust their creative ability enough to reach for their dreams. They forgive themselves when

missing the mark, and continue toward their objectives with tenacity and resolve.

5. Building high self-esteem after feeling low self-esteem is a process. It is helpful to spend time each

day focusing on things done well. Record each of your successes. Congratulate yourself for the smallest

victories.

Take a few moments each day to focus on and reinforce your strengths and potential. You’ll be pleased with what you discover.

Wishing you blessings and success,

Steve Brunkhorst

© Copyright by Steve Brunkhorst. All rights reserved worldwide. Reprinted from Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your personal life and career. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: encouragement, faith, Forgiveness, performance, responsibility, Self Esteem, self-regard

4 Simple Ways to Live a Great and Happy Life

November 19, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Martha Pasternack -

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I am happy for you and with you. I know that in order for this to be true you have made some very focused decisions about what you want for your self and have committed considerable time and attention to those decisions.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you have clarified what is important to you and know what you value most. You have determined your priorities and have made space for them to thrive within your life. You have mastered time rather than just manage it. You practice forgiveness everyday.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you surround yourself with supportive people and are satisfied deeply with your relationships and with the work you do in the world for yourself, your family and your community.

You are open to change and unfettered by regrets.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you get out into nature everyday and enter the silence; nurture solitude. You understand the difference between the two and you respect the power of each.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you appreciate beauty and share your appreciation with others. You know all life is a miracle and you see yourself as one of those miracles.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you are an expert at self care and make choices and develop habits that enhance your physical well-being. I know you laugh easily and radiate love and compassion effortlessly.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life I know you have made peace with your past, live in the present moment and look toward tomorrow with excitement and enthusiasm.

Here are 4 simple ways to stay on that path of a great and happy life:

*Breathe

Realize that we are all part of the cycles and rhythms of life and we connect to these with our breath. Each breath is a re-commitment to our lives and prayer of gratitude. We can choose and re-choose what we are committed to and we have the authority to change our minds whenever it is appropriate.

*Relax

Ease into life with a trusting heart, a generous nature and a willingness to yield to the greater good when need be. Fear has no hold on us. We are empowered to be masters of compassionate self-care. Relax your shoulders, relax your expectations and relax your judgments. Practice the practice of relaxation.

*Laugh

Humor is the language of the soul, a sacred understanding that all is Divinely guided. When we live with lightheartedness we are free to deepen our sense of peacefulness and kindness. We have courage to experience the joy in life.

*Love

Love is the only thing that really keeps us safe. When we are safe we are free to trust our true nature. We are available to life as it calls us forward. We become skilled at giving and receiving love. We are important stewards of love and beauty will prevail.

If you are fortunate enough to live a great and happy life you still get to practice the 4 simple ways to stay on that path: Breathe; Relax; Laugh and Love. To explore how you can explore this notion further visit us at CircleofLifeCoach.com You too can be one of those fortunate enough to live a great and happy life.

http://www.CircleofLifeCoach.com
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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: CircleofLifeCoach, decisions, Forgiveness, happy, MarthaPasternack, personal growth, self improvement, self confidence, self help, time

October 20, 2010 Forgiveness

October 20, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

Catherine Ponder

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: daily quote, Forgiveness

Forgiveness – A Gift to Yourself

October 20, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD -

Most people believe that when one forgives another; one is letting that person off the hook for the injustice or hurt they caused. Although, someone caused hurt and an injustice, however, the offender has moved on unaware of your angst, while you are still holding the hurt and resentment. By holding the hurt and resentment, you are metaphorically taking poison and waiting for the offender to die. Where is the justice in that? There is none.

To feel better, to lighten your load, to feel more alive you need to ‘let go’ of hurts, resentment and righteous indignation. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It is a gift no one can give you. Wow! Think about how powerful that is. No one can stop you from letting go of hurt, resentment and righteous indignation. Pause now. Ask your inner ‘Knower,’ “Who and what would you have me forgive today?”

Forgiveness starts with a willingness to take care of yourself, to give yourself peace of mind. You are holding the pain, no one is forcing you to do that. The offender is going on with their life probably not remembering or even knowing of the hurt and resentment you are holding. Whoever it is and whatever the situation, ask your infinitely wise self to bring forth forgiveness.

Forgiveness like anything is a decision – nothing more nothing less. You can decide, this is the moment that I ‘let go’ of all the hurt, resentment and righteous indignation regarding ______. If you are unable to make the decision to ‘let go’ and move on, consider seeking professional assistance. A Hypnosis practitioner, who is trained to access the emotional energy at the cell level by using the subconscious mind, is the most effective and efficient approach. You will be assisted to examine your habits and patterns to decide what needs to be healed, in order for you to ‘let go.’ You will also be assisted to create an action plan to create peace of mind and a happier future. Go for it – you deserve to have peace and happiness..

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach – Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing the blocks, fears and limiting beliefs, then, you can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: decide, decision, forgive, Forgiveness, hurt, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, injustice, righteous indignation

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