By Irene Conlan -

For true well-being we now and then need to take a look at our habits and, perhaps, addictions. That’s what we will be doing this week.

A habit, as I’m sure you know, is an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically – we don’t have to think about it. We just do it. There are neutral habits, good habits and “ bad” or unwanted habits. Neutral habits can be demonstrated by looking at the the way get dressed in the morning. You almost always do it in the same order –shower, shave, underwear, socks, shirt, pants, shoes. Some may do shave, shower, socks, underwear pants, shoes and shirt. It doesn’t matter – you just do it that way.  If you get interrupted sometimes you don’t remember where you were in the process.

Some good habits include saying “please” and “thank you,” washing your hands after you go to the bathroom or closing the door after you open it. They help keep order and often make you and others feel good. You may have developed the habit of saving money, of keeping your clothes hung neatly in the closet or of washing the dishes right after you use them. All good. You don’t think about it – you just do it.

There are some habits, however, that aren’t so good: biting your fingernails, saying certain things like “huh” or “ya know” repeatedly, grinding your teeth, twisting or pulling your hair, gossiping.  They are not done consciously but have a negative effect on you and sometimes on others. You may want to change some of these and most of them can be changed easily if you bring them to your awareness.  It takes approximately 21 days to change a habit although this varies with individuals and with the habit you want to break. It also depends on how long you’ve had the habit and how strong your motivation is to quit. If you have been biting your fingernails since childhood and you’re now 35 years old, it may be harder  to stop than if you started biting them last year after a traumatic event. Sometimes you can change a habit “cold turkey” just because you want to. Using a little will power, it gets easier day by day until the habit is gone. Or you may substitute one habit for another; e.g., instead of reaching for a cigarette, you reach for a glass or water or you take a deep breath of fresh air. If they are a more powerful habit, like smoking, you may need to use the patch or see a therapist. Hypnotherapy is an ideal tool to help you quit smoking because in hypnosis you can access the subconscious mind which works with habits and emotions. The most important ingredient in changing or eliminating an unwanted habit is a clear and powerful intention to do so.
Some things start out as habits and become full fledged addictions – smoking is one of those. You start with having a cigarette with friends at dinner or when you go for a drink and gradually increase until you are smoking one or two packs a day.

When you reach the point that you cannot quit, even with great effort and all kinds of aids, you are addicted. When you need have more and more and it seems to do less and less, you are addicted. When it doesn’t matter what you have to do to get it, you addicted.

Drinking  alcohol is another habit that can grow into an addiction easily because you feel “so good.”  Some start out having an occasional beer or margarita with friends and, because they feel so relaxed and “good”, they begin to drink more and more. There may come a time that they cannot stop. Their judgment is seriously impaired but they feel so “good” that they aren’t aware of their lapses in judgment.  Drug use follows the same pattern. Addictions are serious and need to dealt with in a serious manner.

Self improvement is involved with developing those habits you want to keep and eliminating those you do not wish to keep. This week we will consider changing habits and beating addictions.