Self-Improvement | Healing | The Self Improvement Blog

8 Ways to Heal When Love Hurts

February 18, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

Sometimes our loved ones hurt us. Dads can get physical or disappear from our lives. Moms can betray us with their anger and lack of support. A best friend can shock us by turning their backs on us. A spouse can be unfaithful and destroy our trust. Our children can take a destructive path that is sure to crush our heart. These are some of the big hurts in life that leave us wondering how we will ever heal.

But there are little hurts too that can build into mountains of resentment if we don’t address them. Angry words are exchanged during an argument. A friend neglects your friendship. People take you for granted without even knowing it. Your child rejects you in a moment of hurt and frustration.

To hang on to hurt or anger is destructive to our emotional, spiritual, physical and relational health. It drains our energy, strains our relationships, and zaps the joy from our life. So how do we heal our heart when love hurts? Here are some suggestions to help you move beyond the hurt and get on with enjoying life.

Confront Your Anger: Our initial reaction when someone hurts or betrays us is often anger. Maybe we feel violated or disrespected. We want to perhaps lash back and make the other person hurt. Refrain from doing that. Anger expressed when we are hurt can be distorted and damaging to our relationships. Take some time to handle your anger in another way. Talk with a trusted friend, counselor or life coach. Express your feelings in a journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you (but don’t give it to them).

Seek Truth and Understanding: How can you better understand the person who hurt you? What truth do you need to know about the other person? Sometimes people hurt us because they are hurting too. Other times people hurt us unintentionally. Ask for the truth and be willing to hear, accept and embrace it. Share your truth and help the other person understand you.

Search for the Lesson: Experiencing pain and suffering is not easy. However, there is usually a lesson to be learned from our pain. What aren’t or weren’t you paying attention to? What does this experience teach you about yourself and the other person? What changes need to be made as a result of your pain? While the human drama includes pain, we have a choice in how to view it.

Give Grace: We are all human, and we all make mistakes. Some mistakes are worse than others, and some mistakes hurt more than others. Most of us are doing the best we can in any given situation. People make choices based on their past, their belief systems, and the past and collective thought of humanity. Unfortunately, people sometimes make choices that hurt us. We need grace when we make choices that hurt our loved ones, and our loved ones need grace as well.

Accept the Love Deposits: When we are hurt, it is sometimes difficult to accept the apologies and attempts to make amends from our loved ones. Maybe your guard has been thrown up and you’re unsure if you can trust again. One way to heal a wounded heart is to allow yourself to truly feel the sincere love deposits that are made to your emotional bank account. Maybe the love will come from the person who hurt you, but maybe it will not. Seek out and embrace the love that is being given to you.

Grieve the Sadness: With hurt comes sadness. Maybe you feel sad about what happened. Perhaps you feel sad about what you didn’t receive. Sometimes the sadness is an indication that you need to grieve the loss of a dream. Allow yourself to feel the sadness – let the tears flow. Crying is a very cathartic ritual.

Set Appropriate Boundaries: When our loved ones hurt us continually, we may need to set boundaries for healing to take place. A child may need to go to his room when his anger is destructive. You may need to end a conversation with someone who is hurting you. It’s even possible that you need to end a relationship that is repeatedly hurting your self-esteem. Healing cannot take place if we don’t take care of ourselves. And people will not begin treating us with respect until we respect ourselves.

Forgive: Lastly, we need to forgive so that we can move on with life. Forgiving does not mean that we condone our loved ones behavior. It does not mean that we allow others to keep hurting us. To forgive means to give up all resentment and the desire to punish the other person. In our heart, it means we’ve cancelled the debt we feel others owe us.

Sometimes the only way to know love is to experience what love is not. Whatever the question, challenge or decision, love is always the answer. God is perfect love, and His desire is for us to model His character. Healing from hurts moves us closer to love.

Lori Radun, CEC – certified life coach for moms. To get her FREE newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children”, go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Anger Management, Betrayal, healing, Love, pain, self improvement

Healing Starts With Love and Gratitude

February 16, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Dr. MJ Wegmann -

Few situations urge us to examine our lives more than the possibility of death. We know in the end we all pass away. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to go right now. The United States has what is considered the shortest healthy life span, which is life expectancy minus years spent battling a major disease. This is one of the saddest statistics I have ever posted. The fact that millions of people will spend more than 5,10 or 20 years living with a preventable disease.

What is it in our human psychology that prevents us from doing what is necessary even in the event of disease or possible death? I don’t have the answer, but I know one thing that motivates me is my family.

This concept of love and healing comes from Dr. Alan Zimmerman who made the statement “if you truly love yourself, in a healthy non arrogant way, you will never intentionally expose your mind or body to negative things”. Let’s try this on for its mental size. What does he mean by “never intentionally?” this world is dominated by negative media, TV, websites, books.

How do we do this? The root to understanding human motivation turned to action lies in our struggle to be accepted in a negative world. The deepest human craving is to be accepted. The root of why people neglect their bodies, smoke, drink, don’t eat well, don’t exercise and don’t change when facing a major health crisis is because on some level they don’t truly love who they are.

If you find yourself facing any combination of these things, you now have a clear understanding of where to start; with yourself. We all have the power of unconditional love and healing within us, but many people do not let healing enter their lives. We have the power to be grateful and thankful for every breath we take. The key is to understand our time is limited here and each day is one less day we have to make a difference. Sometimes disease is a blessing, it can awaken our love for life and reorganized our priorities, or connect us with the divine.

My wish for you is that you are reading this before a major disease forces you into action.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Gratitude/appreciation, healing, Love, self improvement

Grant Connolly talked about ZPoint Thursday. LISTEN NOW

October 20, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

In 2003 Canadian hypnotherapist Grant Connolly had a simple idea for releasing emotional upset and that idea, now implemented, is growing into a worldwide phenomenon. Used by thousands in more than 30 countries around the world, the ZPoint Process has proven itself to be a simple yet incredibly effective way to let go of difficult feelings that block personal happiness. ZPoint is a powerful meditative healing technique that can be learned in minutes and allows you to feel increasingly peaceful, relaxed and emotionally balanced. Connolly claims that using ZPoint can quickly transform your life by completely releasing difficult or painful feelings associated with traumatic memories, difficult relationships or life situations. You can start to move past difficult, intense, or unwanted feelings and start living a happier, more peaceful and positive life right away! Don’t we all want that? Join us to learn more.

Show Description We will explore the Zpoint program which utilizes a revolutionary new process that effectively links the power of your conscious and subconscious minds allowing both to work together in a completely new and very effective way. This is an innovative new program that can potentially eliminate stress, upset and bad moods, manifest more happiness and physical wellbeing, relieve physical pain and achieve optimum health and say goodbye to limiting beliefs, fears and phobias. Sounds too good to be true? Well, if it does, join me to hear what Grant Connolly, its creator, has to tell us about how it works, what you can expect and how it has helped those who have used it. This may be just what you’re looking for. And, by the way, Grant is currently traveling to teach the ZPoint Process and will be joining us from Istanbul, Turkey.His website is http://www.zpointforpeace.com/

To Listen to the Show, Click Here

Filed Under: Archives, The Self Improvement Radio Show Tagged With: healing, ZPoint

From Gratitude Comes Great Well-Being

October 2, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Dena Lynn -

Most of us, at one time or another, have faced some sort of overwhelming challenge. Whether it be in business, relationships, or health – some challenges can take us for a loop, places where we don’t want to go… if we allow. We’re human – even the most seemingly, perfectly grounded person – struggles at times.

If you’ve been severely challenged or are presently worrying and stressing over a difficult situation – try showing a bit of thanks – gratitude – for all that IS working right in your life. And, build from there. Gratitude is powerful.

Did you know that next to immunodepressants, gratitude heals organ transplant patients fastest?

The Mississippi University for Women found out in a study that patients who kept a gratitude journal scored better in mental health tests than those who didn’t, even when they started off at the same level of mental health. They generally healed faster, had more vitality and were happier.

It doesn’t stop there – those who are unwell are not the only people who benefit from an attitude of gratitude. The debate continues as to whether material well-being and happiness makes a person grateful or whether it is the other way around. Tests were done where participants were all of the same income level, their lives were more or less the same in terms of satisfaction and happiness and their mental health was at par.

Some were asked to keep a gratitude journal and others were asked to go on living as usual. After 2 months, the people who kept gratitude journals showed significant leaps in happiness and well-being. They said they were much more energetic and felt that they got what they wanted. They felt that they traveled towards their goals faster.

What is the connection between gratitude and well being?

There’s really no single explanation, but there’s agreement on one thing: the more grateful you are, the more positive you feel about life and about yourself, and the more you achieve.

Gratitude helps you see all things in their perspective. In the past, when you’ve felt grateful for something or someone – did you see how suddenly that thing’s or person’s value swelled and became even more meaningful to you?

If you wake up and immediately give thanks for a great, blue sky, you’ll notice that the day seems much richer. If you give thanks for your spouse, your brain has a way of picking it up and making you see even better things about them and this makes you feel happier. Happiness leads to well-being.

Gratitude also makes you focus on the things that you’re grateful for and you therefore attract more. It’s the old law of attraction, which holds that what you think about grows. If you’re grateful for strong, fulfilling relationships, they tend to grow and therefore you’ll be happier. If you’re grateful for a strong business, it will grow and you’ll feel more fulfilled.

Does it really matter why gratitude leads to well-being?

You now know that it does, so why not start to practice it. How would you gain from being able to put your challenges in perspective, faster? I was able to start making positive moves to create the outcome that I preferred. Yes, it required a time commitment. In fact, as a busy woman, fitting “gratitude time” into my day was very difficult at first. But, I found the time because it was that important.

I discovered that if I wanted to do it, I had to set aside a time for nothing else but “gratitude time” and my journal had to be in a place where I couldn’t ignore it. After awhile it became my habit – the first thing I do before I get out of bed.

I think about and write down what I am grateful for. The more grateful I am, the more I have to be grateful for – the better I feel and the more productive I am throughout my day. What a powerful way to start your day!!

I encourage you to make a gratitude journal. Plan it in such a way that it’s in your path everyday and you can’t ignore it. You’ll find that after days, even just hours of your first journaling, your perspective will be different and you will have given yourself more time to go forward and focus on what matters most.

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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: Gratitude/appreciation, healing, health, well-being

Personal Growth and Relationships: Getting the Love You Want

October 23, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

By John Harrigan -

This is an article about personal growth and relationships, both platonic and romantic: You will learn how to get more of the love you want, while accepting more of the love you already have.

“Love is Divine, and so are we.”

By letting others love us, we let them have the gift of love. Let others love you.

Love is union. Love is giving and receiving at the same time. Let others have the gift of love, by letting them love you now!

You are important, most important! Everyone is important in the design of life. The design of life is beautiful; you get to peek at it every time you are involved in love

Get the Love You Want with a New Approach

When we think of love, and its value in Personal Development, we often think about how WE can be more loving, compassionate and kind? How about a different approach, something new?

To Improve the Love in Your Life Today

Be selfish, for a change
Think about YOURSELF—what you need and want?
Understand “the norm of reciprocity”: the secret to great relationships.
Place more people in your life who love you.
Let the people, already in your life, love you more.

How to Find People Who Love You

Find people who love you, people who smile at the sight of you. They exist. They are out in the world, similar to you and waiting for someone to love. The need to love is as great as the need to be loved; they are inseparable. Look for someone who loves you, someone YOU love too.

Do you have people in your life who like you, people who like who you are and know you well? Do you like your friends? Maybe, maybe not? Few friends are perfect, and few relationships are ideal. But we can have in mind the type of person and friend we want.

We need an ideal of our own to guide our efforts as we make attractions and bring new friends into our life. Think about yourself for a change, about who you are and what you want? Find someone who loves you and likes you. Find someone you also like.

The Secret to Great Relationships: “The Norm of Reciprocity”

The “norm” of reciprocity… WOW, what’s that? Is it the guy in the bar at “Cheers”? Well… we all liked Norm, but the norm of reciprocity refers to a relationship where two people are giving equally to each other. When I give something to you, you give me something in return. It can be a kind word, a hug or a smile. A REAL relationship has two people giving equally over time.

A business relationship works the same as friendship or love. “What, that sounds awful”! Well, think about it? In a business relationship, I give you something, and you give me something back—it’s called commerce. In a love relationship, I give you my love and attention—you give me love and attention. The presence of reciprocity is how you know you are in a relationship.

How does that sound? What are your relationships like? Are you getting what you give? Is it love? Maybe, maybe not? Think about it? Are you getting what you give? Do you WANT something back?

Come out from Hiding, and Accept the Love You Have

It is sometimes easy to hide in a relationship where the other person does NOT give back to you. There is no threat; things are easy to predict. But it’s not equal. Of course there are times, in the best of relationships, where things are not equal: you have to sacrifice, that’s life. We all have tough times where we are not as able to give as we would like. But that’s not what I am talking about.

Are you hiding in a relationship where you are the only one giving?
Is there something more you need and want?

How to Get More Love, when You Want It

To fix a relationship you may need to give the situation a chance, telling your friend or partner what you want. Be patient. Work at changing things first. See what happens? Or get out of the relationship. It is up to you?

Sometimes we hide in situation where we are the ones giving most. This avoids intimacy. We can hide from our insecurities and wounds, and feel protected. But true intimacy cannot happen, and satisfaction may be limited.

Sometimes it is difficult and threatening to be loved. Are you ready for a change? Are you interested in improving your life? Think about how to let someone love you more, how to let someone into your life?

5 Steps to Getting the Love You Want

Tell your friends what you want.
Listen to others with sincerity and calm.
Give voice to what you want to do!
Speak about how you feel.
Share yourself more: thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes.

Make changes; try these five steps. Do something different; ask for what you want. Be more of who you are. Stand up for yourself, but don’t be a bully. Practice kindness and love, ask for this in return. Practice the norm of reciprocity: Be comfortable receiving, and give back something of equal or greater value. Offer your love, your kindness, your hope… Do this again and again. Results will come with practice. You will get what you want, and love will grow.

John F. Harrigan, is author of the books: “Lessons in Love,” “Immortal Design” and “Absolute Peace.” John is a Qi Gong Master, a former Family Counselor, executive and college instructor. John speaks, writes and conducts workshops on topics of Personal Development: building strength, improving abilities and gaining health. There are hundreds of free articles written by John at his websites: www.TheLessonsInLove.com and www.ImmortalNow.com. Enjoy yourself!

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: healing, Love, love relationship, personal growth, self improvement

Prayer and Health Merge: The Best Medicine

October 21, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Chris Pellow -

A health Care revolution is under way-a dynamic change in the way individuals vision the recovering of the body. Today, health-care methods that were once ridiculed, thought to be inconsequential, fringe, strange, as well as cultish not merely are becoming embraced by the general public but in addition are being merged as regular method in the majority of health care institutions.

Consider prayer: an determined one third of men and women use prayer, additionally to traditional health care and harmonizing and alternative therapies, for wellness issues, in accordance to an article in the April 26, 2002, issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine, one of the JAMA/Archives journals. A unique mission at Duke identified as MANTRA, headed by cardiologist Dr. Mitchell Krucoff and nurse professional Susan Crater, published findings that demonstrated heart patients who obtained prayer have 50% to 100% less adverse effects compared to those patients not prayed for.

Research published in the October 25, 1999, documentation with the exact same journal assessed the widespread use of prayer and its usage to health issues. Of the 2,055 men and women ages eighteen and older involved in the study

35% used prayer for health concerns.

75% used prayer as a way to seek recovery from a health condition.

22% directed their prayer for specific medical conditions.

69% of those praying for particular medical conditions asserted they enormously benefited from the use of prayer.

Heart patients whom others prayed for, but who were not mindful of becoming the target of prayers, had an 11 percent decrease in medical problems or the requirement for surgery or prescription medication while in the hospital, according to researchers. The authors examined the medical charts of nearly one thousand cardiovascular patients, following their health track records between hospital admission and release and noted. Today we are surprised by the distant results of prayer as Newton’s critics were by the distant outcomes of gravity. However, In the same way that the debate over gravity steadily diminished, the debate encircling intercessory prayer may also disappear with time, although our ineptitude about the mechanism associated may continue. The truth will remain, in lamp-lit of all present-day scientific and medical exploration, that prayer definitely works. If there ever was a drug to exhibit the identical amount of results as prayer, it would be the medication of the centuries.

Dr. Chris Pellow invites you to http://www.doctorpellow.com for more articles, reviews, and feedback. Just by visiting our site we are giving away a limited number of our eBook “Secret To Healing Virtually All Diseases.” I appreciate the time you took out of your busy schedule sharing a piece of your life with me. God Bless, Peace, and Health to you all.

Regards
Dr. Chris Pellow

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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: healing, prayer, prayer and health

Gratitude – The Secret Ingredient in Healing and Health

July 12, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Sukie Baxter -

Gratitude and appreciation are crucial ingredients in maintaining a balanced life. It’s true what they say – energy flows where attention goes. In the path to healing – whether you’re trying to lose weight, improve athletic performance, or become pain-free – focusing on what is working gives you the energy you need to make it all the way to your finish line.

Making note of the positive elements in your daily life creates resources for your healing. Like a good friend, you can turn to these resources whenever you’re feeling out of balance. Having strong resources also reduces the need to rely on a healer or therapist for a crutch, thus empowering you on your own healing path.

Here are 3 powerful secrets for integrating gratitude and appreciation into your life in such a way that you become extremely well resourced and supported:

1. All throughout your day, consciously notice what movements make your body feel great. Do you like stretching your arms over your head, or does walking relieve the tension in your low back? Maybe it feels amazing to walk barefoot on soft, luxurious carpet, or a certain yoga pose uplifts your mood.

Knowing what movements, exercises, and sensations improve your mood and physical well being reduces the need to rely on a healer or therapist for a crutch. When your back pain flares up, you already know how to nip it in the bud, or what to do to help untangle the knots in your neck post airline flight. You truly become the expert in your own body.

2. Make a list of all the people you spend time with in your day to day life – include family, friends, and coworkers, even those that you only speak to via phone.

Take a green pen and a red pen and sit somewhere quietly with your list. Going over the names, make a green + sign next to the names of those people who always uplift you and support you. These people are the ones whose company always leaves you feeling more cheerful at the end of a visit than when you arrived.

Using the red pen, make a – sign next to the names of people who drag you down. This may include those who are highly critical, constantly complaining, always telling you why you can’t do something, etc.

Now you should have a clear outline of the relationships that build you up and those that tear you down. Of course, this isn’t black and white, and you probably don’t want to cut all the negative people out of your life cold turkey. Instead, I suggest shifting your mindset.

When you are around your green + people, notice and appreciate how supportive they are and how their energy empowers you to move forward. When you are around the negative red – people, focus on being grateful for the lessons that they teach you about how you do not want to live your life. This will keep you in gratitude no matter who the company is!

3. Forgive. It is very difficult to be in a positive state of mind about yourself, your life, and the people around you when you are burdened with grudges, hate, fear, and dislike.

Holding onto the wrongdoings of others is a surefire way to drag yourself down into negativity and dis-ease. Even more harmful is refusing to forgive yourself for the wrongs you’ve perpetrated against yourself.

I recommend releasing grudges daily. If you start this practice, you’ll be shocked at how many tiny, insignificant things you tend to hold onto – a rude bank teller, getting cut off in traffic, a snippy word from your spouse, your teenager’s hormones making her grumpy, etc.

Reading the following Forgiveness Prayer aloud to yourself daily is a fabulous way to let go:

If I have harmed anyone in any way,

either knowingly or unknowingly

through my own confusions,

I ask forgiveness.

If anyone has harmed me in any way,

either knowingly or unknowingly

through their own confusions,

I forgive them.

And if there is a situation I am not yet ready to forgive,

I forgive myself for that.

For all the ways that I harm myself,

negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind

to myself through my own confusions,

I forgive myself for that.

- Buddhist Prayer

Sukie Baxter is a Seattle Rolfer who helps clients overcome muscle pain, stress, and anxiety through holistic, integrative bodywork. To learn how to rejuvenate your body and soul using natural health strategies that get real results, register for weekly wellness articles on her website.

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Filed Under: Health, Intellectual Health, Physical Health, Spiritual Health Tagged With: balanced life, Gratitude/appreciation, healing, Mind-Body Wellness, self improvement

The Healing Presence of Pets

May 22, 2010 By Guest Contributor 2 Comments

By Dr. Aristotle Economou -

As a young boy, I would sit in anticipation for the prime time television show series Lassie. For those of you that aren’t familiar with Lassie, he was a fictional Collie dog character that initially appeared in a novel, which was made into a feature film Lassie Come Home (starring Roddy McDowell and Elizabeth Taylor). Lassie’s trusted owner was a little boy named Timmie. Lassie would always be there for him or anyone else in need of help. Lassie was truly a trusted canine companion.

One morning while in my hospital bed staring at a wall, really feeling down and depressed, I noticed a large dog walking pass my door! At first I thought I was hallucinating. But after a few minutes passed there he was again with a woman holding his leash. Immediately I felt that same warm feeling I used to get while watching Lassie on television or even the many times I had spent with my own dogs over the years. The short silver grey hair dog stood very tall in the doorway of my room. He looked like a Great Dane. His owner, a kind lady holding the leash, asked me if they could come into my room and visit me. I replied; “absolutely!”

As this very tall dog approached my bedside, I anticipated meeting a new friend as he placed his big furry head on my bed. I was unable to move my arms but my hands were at my side and I was able to pivot my hand at the wrist and glide it over his head. As I did this, he had a very casual look on his face as our eyes connected. It was a look of expectancy, so simple as if he wanted to say to me that I have nothing to worry about, this health condition will pass.

I sensed he could feel my frustration, worry and all the other emotions that go along with severe illness. I have no idea why I had this interpretation but I am grateful for that visit and the fact that Mother Nature made arrangements for this “therapy dog” to visit and, as a bonus, would be tall enough to reach me as I lay in my bed.

That experience touched my spirit with an unconditional love that pets share with many of us on a regular basis. I felt an inner peace and calm while petting him. My purpose for this story is to remind you that your pet will share with you that spiritual boost you need to continue your healing path. If you don’t own a pet, then ask friends to bring theirs for a visit or stop by a local pet store and hold a puppy. Feel the puppy’s youthful spirit and embrace it. Pets are sensitive and have feelings. When this is combined with a craving to please it translates into an inner desire to heal too.

This is an excerpt from Dr. Aristotle’s book Change The Way You Heal.

Aristotle Economou, “Dr. Aristotle,” D.C., L.Ac.,(Az)Dipl.Ac. (IAMA), F.I.A.M.A., is sought after by patients for his extensive clinical experience, including his role in a historical medical research exchange throughout hospitals in the People’s Republic of China. Dr. Aristotle’s work has been featured in Natural Health, Health, CBS Healthwatch, Advance for Directors in Rehabilitation, Beverly hills 213 Magazine, The Los Angeles Technology News and other national media. As a speaker, he shares his remarkable story of healing and perseverance when he recovered from complete muscle paralysis in 2006 using techniques in holistic medicine. He inspires hope for those suffering from illness and is also a resource for other health practitioners.

He is in private practice and lives in Carmel, California.
http://www.DrAristotle.com

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Filed Under: Emotional Health, Health, Physical Health Tagged With: dogs, healing, pets, unconditional love

A dog story that will touch your heart

May 22, 2010 By ireneconlan 3 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

This is a story that has been floating around the email circles for quite some time. It is a heart touching, feel-good story and one I want to share with you. This is the first time I have received it with pictures and I’ll share them with you as well. It is a love story and it is a story of the power of the mind to heal (with some help from some good doctors, I will admit). Thanks, Nancy for sending it. Enjoy. Irene

Lucky Dog….

Anyone who has pets will really like this. You’ll like it even if you don’t and you may even decide you need one!
Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named Lucky. Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease….in fact; she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her…what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won’t understand that I didn’t want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap..

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong. She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.
He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It’s been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember…..live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget….the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most Credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: breast cancer, dog story, healing, Love, recovery

The Tiger Woods Media Feeding Frenzy

December 11, 2009 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

Isn’t it time for the sharks to retreat and leave Tiger Woods alone? Once the media gets the smell of blood in the water and a taste of flesh they just can’t put it down.

He messed up. Big time. He hurt his wife, his family, his career and, most of all, himself. He admitted it. Other stories have surfaced now and each one creates more and more of a frenzy. I am reminded of the story in the Bible of Jesus defending the adulterous woman by saying, “Let he who has no sin cast the first stone.” Everyone turned and walked away.(John 8:11)

Perhaps we should try that now. How many, if they were honest, would need to turn and walk away?

Unfortunately, adultery is not uncommon these days (or was it in any day?) We have seen these scandals over the years and they involved the most prestigious clergymen, priests, politicians, celebrities, and. yes, journalists, from all fields and many different countries. It happens among the not-sp-famous, too, but their transgressions don’t get splashed all over the front page of the newspapers and tabloids or used for the lead story on the evening news. They destroy their families silently.

My bet is that many men (and women) around the globe are feeling grateful that they have not been caught. Are the ones who are the loudest with this story the most guilty? Does the line from Hamlet fit the media-accusers – “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222–230 Is their own infidelity causing them to use Tiger as a whipping boy to deflect attention from their own indiscretions?

I am not defending Tiger Woods. I think what he did was absolutely wrong – also very human. I know the pain his wife feels because I was there once. The pain of deception is horrendous and she is probably the one suffering most from all this negative publicity. It will take a long time for her to heal and the scars will most likely not go away. The children, when they grow older, will be able to read about their “unfaithful father” if they choose to do so and they will find many sources. They don’t deserve that. I’m not saying the journalists should never print such news but enough is enough.

As a society we set him up for disaster in a way. At the age of three he beat Bob Hope in a putting contest and when he was five, he was featured on the television show That’s Incredible! At eight he won his first formal competition and from then on he won a series of trophies and broke records everywhere. He was almost a golf legend by the time he entered college at age 19. Read more: Tiger Woods Biography – childhood, children, parents, name, history, mother, young, son, old, information, born, college, time, year http://www.notablebiographies.com/We-Z/Woods-Tiger.html#ixzz0ZO5PZbUG

When, in those younger years, did he have the opportunity to test his boundaries, to know the consequences of his actions, and to pick himself up after failure and start over like most of us do? I don’t know the answer to this but I do know that we all need to test our wings sometime in your life and we need the freedom to learn from our mistakes.Did he have the “privilege” of making mistakes and learning from them?

Fame brings with it great rewards and also great risks and multiple temptations. A man who is handsome, wealthy and famous is surrounded by beautiful women who don’t care if he is married. They don’t mind destroying his family. He is a target. Sometimes they hit the bulls-eye.

It is a glamorous but not an easy life.

So isn’t it time we back off and let him heal?

Has he learned his lesson? I don’t know.

Is he a human being who deserves forgiveness and a chance to make restitution? Absolutely.

Think about the mistakes you’ve made that were not made public knowledge. What would you want done for you right now?

Tiger and his family need some time and space for forgiveness and recuperation. The press and the gossip mongers should back off now and allow them to have that.

Filed Under: Integrity, Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: Forgiveness, healing, Media Feeding Frenzy, self improvement, Tiger Woods

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