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A Time for Compassion

March 20, 2011 By 2 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

Hurricane Katrina, Earthquakes in Haiti, and  Japan, Tsunami , wars in the middle East, the threat of nuclear contamination and trouble and hardship around the globe have put humanity on high alert for compassion. In Japan alone thousands of people died, thousands are still missing and the number of injured has yet to be determined.  Millions are homeless.

Where do you start? It’s easy to think, “It’s so huge, there’s nothing I can do to help. What can I do?”  and, because of its enormity,  we dismiss it. I hate to be so cliché but it’s like that elephant – you know the one – the one that we eat one bite at a time (Just who is it that wants to eat an elephant, anyway?).

Compassion is not limited to disaster sites although our hearts are certainly touched and opened by what we see happening.  If we can give money or goods, we should. If we can go and have expertise to offer, then we ought to. But if we have given and are down to the bottom of what we can share and if we don’t have skills that are needed right now, then what?

Look around your own neighborhood and see where your compassion can find an outlet. The lady across the street is alone and has been ill. Have you offered to help her in any way? The single mom down the street looks exhausted. Can you take her a casserole some evening so she can give her children dinner and perhaps have a moment for herself?  How can you help your neighbor who is on the edge of losing his house? What about the women in the shelter for abused women – can you help them somehow? Have you ever helped out at a homeless shelter? Have you ever visited the elderly in a nursing home Many of them have no remaining family or friends and just need someone to talk to.Do you donate the clothes and household items you no longer need or use to those who need them?  Can you take something to a food bank in your town? You can’t do any of these things?  Well, then, can you at least smile and say a kind word to the cashier in the grocery store or  hold the door for a mother who is  struggling to get through it with a stroller?

If you honestly can’t do any of these kinds of things there are still ways you can give your expression to your compasion.

You can pray.

You can visualize restoration, peace, health and healing for those devastated places

You can send positive thoughts where negativity abounds.

If you uderstand energy, you can send love and healing energies.

The Dalai Lama says, ““Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.” Dalai Lama

With a deeper understanding of the concept of “oneness” we know that our attitude of compassion and our acts of compassion, wherever we are and whatever it is, contributes to the good of all.

Simply do what you can.

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Do you remember “Pay it Forward?”

August 31, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Irene Conlan -

A video found me this morning as I was sitting here trying to decide what to write about. And once I found it, it seemed imperative that we talk about helping others – again. The video is snippets from the movie “Pay it Forward” which hit the screen in 2000 and has impacted lives ever since. The idea is to do something to help someone else. The person you helped cannot pay you for your service but pay by doing something to help someone else. Each person is asked to help three people who in turn help three people, who in turn help three people – like a Multi-Level Marketing Program. The product here is helping others in any way they need. Instead of paying you back, they pay it forward.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I highly recommend it. If you need a refresher watch the video below which recaps the movie and the idea.

Think about your own  neighborhood. What if each person in the area helped someone else who in turn payed it forward? What would your neighborhood be like by the end of the year? If the next neighborhood did the same and it caught on throughout your town, what do you think would happen to the crime rate? The jobless rate? The homeless rate? The juvenile delinquency rate? The domestic violence rate? I have no idea, but my guess is that all the numbers would show remarkable change for the better.

Ideas?

  • Maybe there’s a little old lady (or man) who can’t get to the grocery store any more and someone makes sure that he/she has a way to get there and back or someone goes shopping for them.
  • Someone may have a serious illness and has no one to look in on them now and then – or help them with meals, or contact their family. This list can be very long and require a number of people to help. Maybe you can organize that group.
  • A single mom has a need one morning a week for someone to put her child on the school bus or keep the child for an hour in the afternoon when the bus drops him off. Can you do something like that?
  • The neighbor  on the corner lost his job and just needs some help until he can find employment – money, food, utility bills, etc.
  • A new family moves in and knows no one. Remember when you moved? What did  you need? They need that, too.
  • The family down the street has a new baby. The needs here are endless.
  • The high school is just down the street and there are students who need tutoring. Can you help?
  • The retirement home a block away can use people to read or talk with the people there who have no family and few friends who can help. Can you?
  • The neighbor across the street was in a car accident and needs a ride. Can you give him one while he tries to straighten things out.

Each neighborhood, each community, is a little different. Look around yours with new eyes – eyes that are looking for ways to help, ways to give instead of take. There is nothing that I know of that is as powerful as this to heal YOUR loneliness, lack of self esteem, feelings of isolation, sadness or whatever it is as this program. Try it – you might grow to love it.

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Competition vs. Cooperation or Should Coke give its recipe to Pepsi?

December 1, 2009 By Leave a Comment

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By Irene Conlan -

There is nothing wrong with good, old fashioned competition but there’s nothing wrong with cooperation, either. Competition spurs advancement, improvement and creativity and that’s usually a very good thing. However, I have found that helping your competition can be very good for business as well.

Say what?

Yes, helping your competition can be very good for business – or for life.

It used to be a common thing – to help each other. It didn’t matter if the person you were helping was your competition – they were fellow human beings. Farmers are a classic example. Those of you who were fortunate enough to grow up on a farm know that if one farmer was in trouble, the neighbors came to help. It’s just how it was. If your tractor broke down, someone would help you fix it or come to help you get the work done until you could get it fixed. If you got sick during harvest, the neighbors would show up with their equipment and everyone would help get your crops harvested. When they were in trouble you would be there for them. Such a nice way to live. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule – there is sometimes someone who won’t help but they’re unusual.

Everyone benefits when we cooperate and help each other. I’m not saying that you need to reveal all your trade secrets – Coke shouldn’t divulge its recipe to Pepsi nor should the Colonel disclose his “secret herbs and spices,” but they can work together to make something better for the customer.

Let’s bring this “up close and personal.” Let’s say you write about self improvement and you have a tremendous idea that would help everyone. Don’t we all benefit if I send my readers to your blog  to read about that tremendous idea? I think so. Of course I risk having them leave my blog for yours, don’t I?  But I risk what I call “getting my soul in a knot” if I try to keep it all for myself. If you understand the concept of Oneness, you know that what helps one person helps us all.

There’s a great commercial for an insurance company that has one person doing a small but really nice thing for someone else – and that person, in turn,  does something good and so on and so on. There is a string of people who are happier and smiling because of that sequence of good deeds. It makes you feel so good you want to buy their insurance whether you need it or not. (Well, almost).

There is a great saying, “What goes around comes around. If you send out “good stuff,”  good stuff will come back to you. (So will “bad stuff”). It’s a very true saying.

Don’t get me wrong. I want to have the best blog on the Internet and have it on the first page of Google. I put a lot into it because I believe in high quality. I am very competitive. But, that being said, once I have done that, I need to share and cooperate with others so we all come out ahead.

There is great joy in that.

Filed Under: Leadership, Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: , , ,

Something Good is About to Happen

September 21, 2009 By Leave a Comment

46By Irene Conlan -

Last night on “60 Minutes” an interview was conducted with coach Pete Carroll who has set an awesome record with the USC football team. One of the highest paid coaches in the country, he  earns close to 4 million dollars a year.  During his tenure he has  produced three Heisman trophy winners, 53 NFL players, and 33 All-Americans.  He says he’s having the time of his life.

He stated “I keep thinking day to day, that somethin’ good’s just about happen, you know. And so, that mentality, whether I’m in a game or coachin’ in the midst of the season, I don’t know how to think otherwise. And that doesn’t take you to misery.”  His philosophy is “win forever” – seize  every opportunity and make the most of it.

But that’s not why I  think he’s amazing.  Coupled with his positive attitude is his service to his community.

He goes into the roughtest neighborhoods to find the toughest gang members he can find to teach bitter rivals how they can live together without violence and how they can help the kids in their neighborhoods.  He doesn’t do it to get anything back – he just wants to help young people and to stop violence. He says he goes to help create hope and help young people understand what they are capable of becoming.  He started an organization called “A Better L.A.” composed with a number of professionals who now work together instead of separately. They are making a significant difference in that city.

This is a man who epitomizes positive thinking and positive living. He’s an example of  what  each of us can accomplish if we start our day knowing that something good is about to happen and believing that we have the strengths and character to make a difference.

Most likely none of us will be leading a major college football team like the USC Trojans or going to the projects to work with the Cripts and the Bloods. But we can know that something good is about to happen and  we can help where help is needed. We can take a meal to someone who has just lost a loved one, or babysit for a neighbor who needs to get out of the house for a while. We can visit an elderly person who has no family or perhaps tutor a child who is struggling in school. We can pick up the phone and call someone who’s lonely or volunteer at the local hospital or hospice. We can take our unused items to Goodwill or volunteer at the local food bank. The list is limitless.

Start today with knowing that something good is just about to happen.  Then make it so.

To read the transcript for this segment of “60 Minutes” click here.

Filed Under: Irene's Articles, Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: , ,