Self-Improvement | Holidays | The Self Improvement Blog

What’s the Plan for the Holidays?

December 7, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

At a recent workshop, guests and I discussed the chaos and struggles we don’t want to take with us into this holiday season. There are approximately five weeks of this season, and they can provide us with a time to reflect, spend our precious time with our friends and family or completely loose our minds and find an extra 10 pounds.

A few of the snags we found are:

We expect and “need” to have everything perfect, aligned and “our” way.
The average weight gain from Thanksgiving to New Year’s is eight to ten pounds,
We take on way too many obligations, we tend to over extend our “goodness” by helping others and neglecting our own needs.
We forget that many gifts should be a “token” of thanks not an elaborate, over-the-top masterpiece.
In short, we overdo, overspend and overeat.

By talking through our snags, we were able to come up with realistic solutions and goals. Here’s what we came up with.

We CAN ask for help, but we need to release the NEED for it to be our way, our rules and our timeframe. As long as it’s done with care, neatly, this year and with love.

How to say “NO” nicely, sincerely and without the guilt. We need to step back for a second and listen to our own body signals. If our heart is saying no, then, people, DON’T do it. It’s ok, we will survive and so with the person asking. Please listen to your internal voice, honor it and mostly, please respect it.

If we plan to over indulge, we must take time to exercise. What’s your favorite? Running, walking, yoga, Pilates? Have fun. Also, mark off the party days on your calendar with an “X”. Those are the days for fun, but the non-”X” days are day we stick to healthy eating. You will find that there are only a few days that are troublesome – not the ENTIRE season, just a few days.

Keep a budget. Instead of just listing the person’s name, add a dollar limit to your Christmas list and respect that amount. And, this one is especially from me – no one for them, two for me spending. We have to rest of the year to shop for ourselves (once the Christmas bills are paid IN FULL).

Investigate a Christmas club for next year’s budget.

And most importantly, pick someone to pray for this holiday season, visit someone who needs a smile and remember what this season is about. Have fun and always remember to return to the heart.

Nancy E. Lundy is a certified life and wellness coach and CEO, Compassionately Encouraging Others of Return to the Heart Coaching. As a coach, Nancy helps women over 40 transition into the next chapter of their constantly evolving story. To learn more about Nancy and Return to the Heart Coaching, visit http://www.nancylundy.com and to schedule a free sample session, kindly email her at coach@nancylundy.com

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Tips For Maintaining Your Health Through the Holidays

December 1, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Zsofia Christopher -

The zing of the festival mood is wafting in the air – after all, it’s the time of the year when we look ahead and find Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year lined up, bumper to bumper; it’s fun and festivities all the way. These holidays are what remind us of the beauty and significance of our lives, things that we swiftly overlook in our loaded down existence. Alas, it is also the time when all our onerous efforts and victories over health and diet go for a vulgar toss. Now, what can we do about it?

Watch what you Eat

How can you resist the Halloween candies, the Thanksgiving turkey, or the dainty Christmas cake for that matter? Not easy, you say. The trick is to take small portions of everything so that you can enjoy it all while not stuffing yourself. The mental image of an expanding waistline should keep us all sufficiently motivated. The problem of alcoholic binges is not too far away. Restrict yourself to wine, or not more than a couple of drinks. This way not only will you maintain weight and health it will also thwart any unsavory incidents involving an intoxicated you. Such incidents can ruin the fun not just for you but for the entire family.

Drink lots of Water

This is valid everyday and particularly so for holidays, considering the amount of sweets and fatty food one ends up consuming. Drinking more water will also make amends for the dehydration brought on by alcoholic drinks. Water also flushes out the residues from your binges. So, carry a bottle of water in your car and sip at it frequently.

Don’t ditch your workouts

Bearing in mind the extra calories that go in, don’t shift your exercise regimen to low gear. If you feel like taking a break from its rigors go on a walk instead and if it’s too cold outside, run on a thread-mill. You can also do yoga stretches, lift weights or do push ups inside the house. If you dare to brave the cold and venture out be sure to dress warmly.

Keep yourself warm

Some of the holiday activities are sure to extract you from your home – there is the shopping, family dinners, visits or parties. Weighing the vicissitudes of the Fall and Winter weather, it is always better to be prepared. Dress warmly in woolen clothes and carry an extra coat or jacket, just in case. Put several layers of clothing between yourself and the cold. What we least need is an attack of flu or cold to botch the festival plans. Since kids are more vulnerable to these infections make sure they are wrapped up warmly.

Find time to Relax

Often overlooked, relaxing helps you tide over the crazy bustle of holidays without burning yourself out. Catch up on the latest DVD flicks or bestsellers. Think about pampering yourself a little by getting a massage or a facial treatment. Catch up on your sleep by taking catnaps in the afternoon. Be positive and indulge in happy thoughts.

Spend time with loved ones

Now is the time to organize gatherings with friends and your extended family. Go across the street with an armful of homemade goodies and get to know your neighbors. Meet up with old friends, recount those crazy anecdotes, pull each other legs, and laugh riotously – this is the reason why some of the best memories are associated with holidays.

This holiday, let us create some precious memories, NOT shameful recollections of drunken escapades or appalling visions of paunches. This holiday let us stay happy, and healthy.

Zsofia Christopher

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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: Christmas, diet, exercise, Halloween, health, holidays, new year, parties, sleep, Thanksgiving

6 Tips for Handling the Stress of the Holidays

November 27, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Tracie Hammelman -

In addition to the joy and fun that the holidays can bring, you and may also encounter stress, depression, or anxiety. Here are some tips to handle the sometimes hectic events of the next couple of months:

1. Be an advocate for yourself. It is not uncommon for those who tend to be overachievers to increase expectations that they have for themselves. Just because there may be more to do, does not mean that you have to be the one to do it all. Delegate those extra duties to family members or friends so that you are not overwhelmed and exhausted.

2. Be proactive. Along with festive events, comes food and drink that would throw your healthy lifestyle out the window in a heartbeat. Overcome your urges to indulge in those high calorie snacks or drinks by eating before you get hungry, drinking a large glass of water, consuming small amounts throughout your day, and taking in foods that are going to sustain you.

3. Prepare. If you will be spending time with family, friends, or other people who you have unresolved emotional issues or conflicts with, the stress of the holidays may intensify or trigger these issues. Be aware of this ahead of time, make a pact with yourself that this may happen, and devise a plan of action to take care of yourself if it does.

4. Keep a routine. Maintain your day as close to your usual schedule as possible. When you know that there will be extracurricular activities, be sure to also build in time outs or “breathing time” for yourself.

5. Maintain flexibility. Expect the unexpected. Your children and pets function the best also when they have a routine to follow. When that changes, their behavior may change also-they may become withdrawn, or they may act out. If you understand and expect this to happen, you will be much less likely to react to them in a way that you might regret later.

6. Make a plan. Not everyone looks forward to the holidays. some, people are alone, have had negative experiences, and may even become depressed or suffer from increased anxiety during this time. A way to cope is to devise a plan-know that these feelings may surface, acknowledge them, and build self soothing or other activities that provide comfort into your day.

Tracie L. Hammelman, LCSW has 20 years of experience as a psychotherapist and is known as “The Advocate for Mental Health Professionals”. She specializes in helping clinicians improve their clinical skills and how to double or triple their income online using passive residual income and continuity programs.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: anxiety, Depression, encounter stress, holidays, self improvement, self care, self help, stress management

Christmas For One: Mental Health Over the Holidays

November 26, 2010 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Kristin Johnson -

My dear friend, poet Dessa Byrd Reed, often spends holidays alone as a widow. However, she doesn’t see this, as many people often do, as a depressing circumstance. In a November 2000 POETIC VOICES interview, she said, “Because I am single and live alone, I eat out a lot. I love to talk to strangers. That’s one of my favorite things. I go out for breakfast and talk to people.”

Another talented writer, Leslie Lafayette, dealt with being a childless woman by choice in WHY DON’T YOU HAVE KIDS?: Living a Full Life Without Parenthood. You can bet that because of her choice many people would pity her. She writes the “Alone Again, Naturally” column for the outstanding magazine THE DESERT WOMAN. Observers might conclude she’s miserable on the holidays.

Both Leslie and Dessa have full lives and radiate Christmas cheer, not just in December but all year round. While we all need human contact, it’s a mistake to conclude that people without the traditional family dinner are all on suicide watch. Anyone who has negotiated where to have Christmas and which family members can come when, not to mention refereed in-law and spouse disputes, knows that the allure of having a table for one at Christmas is powerful.

However, when people aren’t alone by choice, Christmas can be lonely. In Michigan, I interviewed a woman, the founder of a divorced and widowed support group, who chose to have Christmas dinner every year for lonely widows, widowers and divorced people, usually from her support group. Her children understood that she needed to start this new tradition in her new life.

Similarly, having children around, even with the relentless gimmes and commercialism, lends a special magic to Christmas, which is why playing Santa appeals to so many.

The holidays can be joyous if you’re alone, or they can be difficult. As with so much, your feelings depend on your personality, your circumstances, your childhood, and in many cases on medical or psychological conditions.

Some tips to remember if you’re alone or without your support system:

*Take advantage of counseling services in your community, including from your local church, synagogue, temple or other place of worship.

*Take time out for spirituality. You might attend services just to experience human contact and community. People are generally nicer at Christmas.

*Do all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t in your former life. Travel. Even in this post-9/11 world, you can visit faraway places. There are many tour groups for singles.

*Attend art walks, holiday concerts, lectures, and movie screenings alone. Or invite a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.

*Volunteer–it’s a wonderful way to make friends, stay active, and feel fulfilled.

*Go out to dinner alone! While women in particular feel uncomfortable, project an air of confidence. You are a strong, vital woman. This doesn’t mean that you should go bar-hopping or take risks alone at night. But you have the right to ask for a table for one without feeling as though people are judging you. (Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice.)

*Gather a circle of friends or people in the same situation–just make sure the evening doesn’t turn into a pity party.

*Don’t overdrink, overeat or do drugs. It’s just not a good tradition.

*Bake cookies if you’re so inclined. Cookies make wonderful Christmas presents and ways to reconnect with your friends.

You may be tempted to think of yourself as Ebenezer Scrooge. Don’t, and boil anyone in his own pudding who calls you “Scrooge.” You are honoring Christmas in your own heart and keeping it always. Christmas for one, anyone?

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “enthusiastically recommended” Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, http://www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com

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Filed Under: Health Tagged With: alone, Christmas, Depression, holidays, mental health, Relationships, self improvement, self help

Holiday Health Concerns – What Should You Do, Stay Or Go?

December 14, 2009 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Nick Beesley -

With the global pandemic of Swine Flu only set to get worse, the number of people asking the holiday companies “if it is safe to go” is on the rise. We look at some of the key facts that could help you make up your mind about travelling on your summer holidays.

So am I more likely to catch Swine flu if I go on holiday? Well Swine Flu or Influenza A (H1N1) as it is also known, is currently at a global pandemic level, which means that it is either present or predicted to be present all around the world. However by taking some basic precautions, you should be at no greater risk of catching the virus, should you go on your holiday or if you remain at home. You should ensure however, that you are aware of some key facts should you choose to travel abroad so you know exactly what to do in case of an emergency.

So what precautions should you take if you go on your planned vacation? When planning your holiday you should make sure that you are aware of several things whether the world is in the middle of a global pandemic or not. You should always know where you can find medical advice around where you are staying (the local doctor, a chemist etc…), so if you come down with anything, you know where you can obtain medical help.

To ensure you do not encounter any unplanned expenses you must make sure that you have taken out an adequate level of travel insurance. This insurance should cover you for any medical treatments you may incur while you are away. You can purchased travel insurance over the internet or from most high streets, however please make sure you read the terms and conditions before you purchase the insurance, so you are aware of exactly what your policy covers. Every supplier may have different coverage policies depending on your current circumstances or location that you are travelling to.

If you think that you have Swine flu or you are still recovering from Swine Flu then you should not travel. You should wait until you have the all clear or are fully recovered. If you do travel you will only be transferring the virus further to other holiday makers. Check your travel insurance, as you may be entitled for compensation if you cannot travel due to illness.

One thing to point out is that if you do not become in contact with large numbers of people, while you are holiday, then the chance of you contracting the virus is greatly reduced. So if you are planning on booking a last minute holiday, taking a relaxing holiday to a more tranquil location could be the perfect answer, relax and unwind without additional worry.

Lastly if you do travel and are unlucky enough to catch the virus, you should remember that in most cases the virus is only as bad as a bad case of the flu and with “over the counter” remedies you can help to reduce symptoms to a manageable level. In the worst cases of the virus, you should seek medical advice from local doctors or hospital to be safe.

For a great selection of holiday homes around the world, visit vacationrentalpeople.com, the vacation home rental specialists.

Posted by Nick Beesley from the Vacationrentalpeople.com, Finding the right vacation rental home for you.

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Filed Under: Emotional Health, Financial Health, Health, Intellectual Health, Physical Health, Spiritual Health Tagged With: Christmas, health concerns, holidays, travel

Holidays that Used-to-Be

December 3, 2009 By ireneconlan 1 Comment

People get stressed over holidays. We blame it on finances (and that is very real). We blame it on the rush of getting everything done (also true). We blame it on any number of things, but if we really analyze it, a great deal of our stress is caused by missing the Christmas of our childhood.

Remembering childhood holidays is the same as other memories – somewhat distorted by our child’s view. A couple of years ago I visited the small town where I spent several years as a child. The town, as I remembered, had a huge swimming pool on top of a very steep hill – too steep for a bike and quite intimidating, I thought. We drove around looking at all my old haunts. I was surprised to see that the pool was no bigger than most Arizona backyard pools and the hill wasn’t intimidating at all. My childhood memory had made everything much, much bigger.

Christmas is that way.We remember it as bigger, brighter, more fun – more everything.

Actually, Christmas in our family was always quite remarkable because we had so much fun. Whether we had plenty of money or not (and we experienced it both ways) we had fun. My mother always had funny things wrapped as fancy gifts and there were so many special things. We didn’t fight much as a family and special occasions were just that – special. So my memories of holidays come with a lot of “warm fuzzies” and rightly so. When I got married I expected to continue that but it didn’t turn out to be so. My husband (now ex) didn’t enjoy holidays and my boys, as much as I tried to prevent it, were raised in a “bah, humbug” holiday milieu. Now that they have children of their own they have caught some of my decadent Christmas attitudes – thank God.

Christmas through the eyes of a child is a wonderland. Everything looks and feels like magic. The Christmas tree goes up with all its beautiful lights and shiny ornaments, and Christmas scenes and twinkling lights appear on the houses in the neighborhood. Gifts begin stacking up under the tree and the children dream of the things they’d love to have – trains and cars, dolls and games. My grandson, Jack, already has his long list – a Polar Express train, a Wii with the NASCAR game for starters, and it’s fun to watch him as he runs through his list with animated longing.

We’re like that as children – filled with hope for those good things we long for. We would like to have that back but as adults we’ve lost most of the magic and the hope has thinned out to just an old memory.

Is it too late for most of us to have the magic back? For some, perhaps. I don’t intend for that to be true for me. I am taking cues from Jack this year. I intend to shake and squeeze the gifts under the tree right along with him and allow my mind to trail off in wonderment at what might be inside. I intend to dream those good things that might be under the tree for me and allow hope to assure me that I really might find it there on Christmas morning. I think dealing with the disappointment of not finding it there is far less traumatic than not allowing the hopes and dreams in the first place.

I guess I may have entered my second childhood but I know that this year won’t have the same level of stress I have allowed in the past adult years. I am going to exchange “bah humbug” for sugarplums (whatever they are) and try to see see this Christmas through new eyes. I don’t think we have too get too old for that but sometimes, in all the rush, we just forget. This year I’m going to remember.

Won’t you join me?

Filed Under: Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: children and christmas, holidays, past Christmases

Tuesday of Thanksgiving Week

November 24, 2009 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

Today is the day to clean and tomorrow is the day to cook – at least cook as much as possible ahead of time so Thursday isn’t frantic. Thanksgiving is two days away.

For some reason I’m feeling more nostalgic than usual this year – must be the age. As I child I remember the excitement of the big dinner and having everyone come. Usually it was at our houseo but some years we went to my grandmother’s. Everyone brought something and everyone seemed genuinely happy to see each other. The house smelled wonderful and there were always other kids to play with. In fact, no one paid much attention to us – they were all too busy with the dinner and catching up on the news – and we were free to do whatever we wanted. Well, pretty much, anyway.

What we had was lots of family, lots of food, lots of fun. The “grownups” talked about politics, the blessings of the past year, and what they were going to do next year. The kids played. When we sat down to eat each one, including each child who was old enough to talk, said what they were most grateful for. Everyone was grateful for something.

What we didn’t have was TV, football games, or eating Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant. So we didn’t have Christmas before Thanksgiving and we still knew how to enjoy conversation and each other. (And the kids knew how to play without having to to be entertained by cartoons).

I don’t know about you but I’m already tired of the commercials urging me to buy, buy, buy all those desirable gifts that I am told are “musts” this year. The nightly news spews stories of how the merchants are predicting a bad season. Am I supposed to buy out of guilt? The stores have displayed Christmas items since before Halloween and the last three months of the year have become a time to pay homage at the altar of Macy’s, Costco and Walmart among others. Thanksgiving has gotten lost in all this hype.

For the most part the significance has been removed from the holidays. Thanksgiving is a day to overeat and watch football. Christmas and Hanukkah have come to have the same “flavor” – “what am I going to get?” Many have forgotten the baby in the manger and the festival of lights.

Many have forgotten that Thanksgiving is a day to celebrate our blessing of abundance. The harvest is in. We have plenty for the long winter.

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing . . .

Filed Under: Self Esteem, Self Improvement Tagged With: Christmas, Hanukkuh, holidays, Thanksgiving, traditions

It’s Time to Switch Holiday Gears

November 29, 2008 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

And now we move from being thankful for all we have to the mode of wanting more, and more . . . and more. And we’re shopping, maxing out the credit cards in our buying frenzy. We have to be sure we give the biggest, most expensive, most desired gifts or what will everyone think! What kind of craziness is this?

Did you see the reports of “Black Friday?” People were lined up since Wednesday to be in line for the bargains. A woman was trampled by the people trying to shove and push their way into the mall FIRST. They had to be FIRST so they could grab the bargains before anyone else could get there.

“Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!” the song says.

What on earth has happened to us?

According to Wikipedia, “Christmas is celebrated throughout the Christian population, but is also celebrated by many non-Christians as a secular, cultural festival. The holiday is widely celebrated around the world, including in the United States, where it is celebrated by 96% of the population.[8] Because gift-giving and several other aspects of the holiday involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, Christmas has become a major event for many retailers.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas

That pretty well sums up what has happened, “…Christmas has become a major event for many retailers” and has spawned unmitigated greed and impulsive buying.

I can think of several changes in Christmas songs to reflect this:

For instance : Deck the halls with boughs of holly
And gimme that expensive dolly.

Or: We three kids of Orient are
Longing for that lovely new car
games and ipods, phones and imacs
Just like the movie stars.

Or perhaps: Deck the halls with lots of bling bling
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Oh to diamonds let us sing
Fa la la la la la la la la la

Don we now designer labels
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Wrap me up in coats of sable
Fa la la la la la la la la la

And finally: Joy to the world, I’ll get enough!
I have a big long list!
Computers and some cool stuff
A cell phone and some cash enough
To put in my tight fist!

You get the idea.

Let me get out the old broken record that says, “Examine your beliefs.”

What do you believe about:

giving and receiving?
what Christmas means to you?
financial responsibility?
the meaning and importance of family?
what a “merry Christmas” truly is
greed

Before you rush out with credit card in hand, it might be wise to have a family meeting and find answers to some of these questions both personally and as a family. Then design a Christmas that has meaning, love and real joy for you and your family during this season of giving and receiving.

Filed Under: Irene's Articles, Self Esteem Tagged With: Christmas, holidays, meaning of christmas, spending

What’s the Plan for the Holidays?

Tips For Maintaining Your Health Through the Holidays

6 Tips for Handling the Stress of the Holidays

Christmas For One: Mental Health Over the Holidays

Holiday Health Concerns – What Should You Do, Stay Or Go?

Holidays that Used-to-Be

Tuesday of Thanksgiving Week

It’s Time to Switch Holiday Gears

Brain Magic

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