I’m already tired of the Presidential campaign

By Irene Conlan -

One of the most important decisions we make as American citizens is the election of our President and, frankly,  I’m already tired of the 2012 campaign. What about you?

I’m not going to talk about the merits of one candidate over another. You have to decide that for yourself based on what you read, see, hear and know about each one in light of what your political beliefs are.

Do you know what your political beliefs are?

What we’re already seeing is a “feeding frenzy” of political sharks. I’m talking about the negativity, the lies, the character bashing, the media hype, the coercive tactics, the deceit and on and on and on. We’re talking about the person who will be the leader of the most powerful country in the free world and I didn’t see much in the way of leadership going on in the  Iowa campaign. Did you?

After Iowa, do you know what the political beliefs and stands of the candidates are?

Do you know what your political beliefs are?

I don’t know about you but I would love, for once, to see a campaign based on the issues backed up by a voting record or a successful record in business. I want to know if the candidate represents my political philosophy. Does he/she wear a label of conservative or liberal? Can he think “outside the box” and find a creative solution to a  problem or does he follow a strict party line? Can he “play” well with others? Has he held political office before and can we trust him to do what he promised based on his record?  Does someone “pull his strings” or can we trust him to represent his constituency? Where does  he stand on the key issues – the economy, defense, the deficit, social issues – or does he have to look at poll results to make a decision?

I’m not as concerned with a mistake he made in the past as in what he learned from it and whether it improved him as a human being. Did it make him a better person?

Does he know what his political beliefs are and do you know yours?

I won’t vote for the candidate who engages in mud slinging and character assassination of the the other candidates and I won’t vote for someone because they are the darlings of the media. (Oh, I’m so tired of having the media tell me what to believe, how to vote and what is best for me). What I’m concerned about is whether or not he say one thing and does another. I want to know if he walks his talk.

We have talked about beliefs before – a lot, actually. The election of the next president is a time for you to know what you believe – about this country, about freedom, about state’s rights, about immigration, about deficit spending and the economy, about defense, about aid to other countries, about key issues, about honesty and honest representation. And this is just the beginning.

If you know what YOU believe and we can get a clear idea of what each candidate believes backed by experience then you can make a good decision.

You don’t have to believe what the media says about the candidate – find out for yourself. But know what you believe.

Let’s have more debates with new rules. No talking about the other candidates – they can speak for themselves. Let’s have straight talk on the issues, what they believe, where they stand and what they hope to accomplish in office. If they have held public office, let their voting record be made available. Then we can see if what they say and believe is compatible with what you believe and I believe.

Do you know what you believe? If not, isn’t it time you figured it out for yourself?

 

 

What’s All This Talk About Integrity?

By Frances C Gollahon -

According to Webster’s Dictionary, Integrity is adherence to a code of moral, artistic or other values. Synonym: Honesty, unity.

I suggest this list as a sampling for lack of integrity:

  • You don’t keep your word to yourself.
  • Show up late for appointments, conference calls, friendly luncheons.
  • Think others should understand how busy you are.
  • Saying “yes” when you know you’ll not follow through.
  • Taking inexpensive items from work: paperclips, pens, note pads etc.
  • Taking expensive things from work.
  • Not being true to what you say you believe or to your values.

Lack of integrity is pervasive and insidious. I no longer give my word or believe the word of others as I casually move along, unaware of the lack of character I am forming as habit. I’m used to it…and I think it’s OK. Wait! It’s not OK. Look at any news headline to see the chaos lack of integrity causes; loss of jobs, broken hearts, retirements stolen, health hazards in our air, water and foods, children growing up unattended, our elderly easily forgotten.

I find myself moving so fast to keep pace, let alone get ahead of the pressures, that I no longer take the time to think and reflect. Before I can practice integrity I have to know what integrity means to me. Integrity is based on values. What are my values? When’s the last time I’ve clarified them to my consciousness? Values are what I claim to live by, what I base my beliefs on. Many values are universal, basic human needs of love, acceptance, respect, to be treated fairly and honestly, to have laughter and joy, to sleep soundly. Taking time and energy to list my values is not an easy process and requires looking deep into my heart with a willingness to experience the pain of self-reflection…and the joy.

Once I defined my values the next step I needed was a yellow caution light, a signal when I am being out of integrity. That signal gives me a moment in time where I can choose my direction and behavior with intent and awareness. Depending on the situation, my caution warning is a knot in my stomach or maybe just an uneasiness, awkwardness…things aren’t flowing.

So what can I do when I am not living by my values and staying in integrity? Only thing I can do…clean it up! Sincerely apologize and commit to living by my word, my integrity. Return items casually put into my pockets with no intent to steal…but that’s really what it is, because it’s not mine to take. Admitting to others when I’m wrong and giving up the ego trip of having to be right.

“Cleaning it up” means choosing to keep my word to myself and others. When I made an appointment to be someplace at a specific time, I’m on time or call to let them know I’m going to be late, even if it’s only five minutes. When I commit to exercising three times a week, and I don’t, I change my commitment or “just do it!” I’ve learned that gnawing in my stomach is the awareness of me not keeping my word to me…and I’m too important to let off the hook. Who knows, maybe as we each start to keep integrity in our own heart and our own backyard, integrity will go viral!

Integrity can only start with each of us individually, regardless of circumstances.

The cautions I offer is this, we all blow it…every day…so give your word to yourself that you will clean it up with you, start fresh and pat yourself on the back for taking one step forward. You are well worth the effort.

Frances Gollahon
Life Purpose Facilitator/Coach

By the way, do you want to learn more about integrity and getting unstuck from emotional self-sabotage?
If so, please click: http://www.YouMeetYou.com

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What Does Integrity Mean to You?

By Gerald Gillis – Are you sometimes confused by the meaning of the term integrity? Is it a complicated set of principles that can vary according to a particular moral consideration or a specific set of circumstances? Or is it simply doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do? Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that, “Character is higher than intellect.” What does integrity have to do with character? Can you have one without the other? Think of integrity as the quality of having high moral principles, of being reliable and trustworthy. It does not mean you are near perfection as a human being, but rather that you can be trusted with words and deeds. Doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do? Of course. If you are described by others as a person of integrity, would it also follow that you have high character? Yes, absolutely. Now think of groups of people who are presumed to have integrity. Judges, doctors, military officers, and ministers come to mind. True, we can point to examples in each of the preceding groups of dishonest, immoral, and perhaps even criminal behavior. As with any group-business, politics, sports, education, journalism, etc.-we don’t need to search far and wide to discover similar failings. Indeed, it is our human nature to err. Next, think how hard it would be for our society to function if trust and honesty were the exception rather than the rule. Samuel Johnson noted that, “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” As a group our elected leaders are losing the confidence of the American populace precisely because we are becoming conditioned by their saying one thing and doing another, sometimes blatantly and defiantly. Business leaders who shamelessly enrich themselves at the expense of their customers, stockholders, and employees reflect poorly on their firms and industries. Judges who take bribes and teachers who sexually abuse their students give us all pause, and disappoint us greatly. Why? Because they failed to do the right thing. It need not be any more complicated than that. For you, if integrity means doing the right thing, even if nobody knows or notices, then you understand the concept. If you behave consistently and use your moral principles, reliability, and trustworthiness as your guiding lights, you can rightfully be described as a person of integrity. It is a description that is earned, and one that should be prized. If you have it, guard and nurture it. If you don’t yet have it, pursue it zealously. It is worth the change in behavior you will have to make to earn it. Gerald Gillis is the author of the award-winning historical novel “Shall Never See So Much.” Visit his website at http://www.geraldgillis.com and his blog at http://geraldgillis.blogspot.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerald_Gillis http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Does-Integrity-Mean-to-You?&id=6285098

Authenticity: The Key to an Empowered Life

By Stacey Shaw -

When we find our authentic voice, our lives shift dramatically. What do I mean by authentic voice? I mean that we learn how to increase the awareness of our truest desires, dreams, and talents. We learn to bring these out into the world with less fear and worry about what others may think of us.

Being authentic sounds like an easy task, but by the time we reach adulthood, many of us have learned to stifle our personal truth and deepest feelings. We have learned, through the influence of family, society, media, and school, to change or withhold our authentic emotions and thoughts in order to gain the approval of others and avoid ridicule. This slowly erodes our personal integrity and we can feel it. We don’t feel quite right. We may even feel a form of shame, without being able to point to a specific cause. We feel somehow inauthentic, maybe even losing touch with our own Truth.

So, how do we practice being more authentic; more in alignment with our own honest expression? First, we must be willing to look inside and examine our own behavior. This means paying attention. Have you told any big lies lately? How about “little white” lies? Were any of the lies necessary? Why? How could you have been more honest with yourself and others?

Now, after noticing these aspects, we need to begin telling the whole truth about things. Even when it is difficult, we need to strive toward a higher degree of honesty. This definitely includes being honest with ourselves. Through this process of noticing our comfort with speaking the Truth, suspend any self-judgment that arises. Just notice, pay attention, and change behavior. Do not judge.

Increase your tolerance for feeling vulnerable. This self-examination process may feel vulnerable. We often lie or dodge the truth because it is frightening to be vulnerable, but when we learn to be vulnerable and open with our Truth, this is where the sweetest feelings can come from. This means that we practice exploring and sharing our thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears and doubts with others without self-judgement and without worrying about being judged by others. This is where the power comes in. As we learn to practice, we feel more joyful, more liberated, more powerful. We feel authentic!

Being authentic in this way consistently and over time will improve your relationships, work life, and sense of well-being. You will be in alignment with yourself and your sense of integrity will soar!

Stacey Shaw, M.Ed is a dynamic trainer and coach. She is highly intuitive and able to go to the heart of her clients needs. Stacey has created the Women’s Worth, Women’s Wealth system as a break-through tool for women to achieve their personal and financial dreams. When not coaching, Stacey teaches and performs Hoop Dance. For coaching, visit: http://www.staceyshaw.com

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June 3, 2011 – Integrity

A life lived with integrity – even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shinning star in whose light others may follow in the years to come.
Denis Waitley

Be true to who you are: walk your talk

Illustration: Truth and LieBy Irene Conlan -

The reality show, True Beauty, brought a lesson home the other night – a lesson of being true to yourself.

Vying to become “The Face of Vegas” the contestants compete to see who is the most beautiful. The real agenda of the show, however, is to discover who has true beauty – inner beauty – and they set up situations to determine the honesty, compassion, intelligence, poise, and other attributes of “true beauty. ” They have challenges to show their outer beauty and a “set up” to see if they demonstrate inner beauty.

The “set up” for one segment was that a woman assisting them for a photo shoot was looking for her lost diamond engagement ring. She was frantically searching through the garbage for it.

Would they help her or not?

Most helped but some did not.  David, a professional deejay and astrologer was one who not only did not help, but acted bored while the assistant searched, and he finally yawned and left the room to join the other members of the group saying, “I didn’t fly out here to help a girl find her ring and lose the show,”

He was one of the two bottom contestants for the week and, when he met with the panel of judges, was told he would be the one to go home. When they had him view the videos showing him the real reasons he had failed, he replied, “I’m getting kicked out of this competition for sinning in the city of sin.”

As if to defend himself he announced, “I’m a spiritual teacher and I help people all day long.”

Say what?

His behavior when he thought he was off camera didn’t reflect that. His attitude toward others didn’t reflect it either.
Most of us would understand a 24 year old who had a blast in Vegas.  But who is he? A young man in Vegas or a spiritual teacher  compromising his principles to win a prize?
In essence he said, “I want to win. Don’t expect me to help you find  your ring. Don’t bother me with expecting kindness if I don’t like you. Don’t bother me -  I’m here to win and that doesn’t include helping people.”
There are a number of traits that spiritual people and people with true beauty share and strive to deepen, such as

  • compassion
  • love
  • forgiveness
  • peacefulness
  • appreciation
  • kindness
  • not perfection but sincere effort and an attitude that includes helping others

These are consistent traits that don’t depend on where you are or what you are doing. Yes, beautiful people and spiritual teachers make mistakes just like we all do but the pattern is consistent because that’s who they are.

David is young and still learning. He’s a beautiful young man who was taught a huge lesson in front of the whole country –  or world most likely.

The  lesson?  Know who you are and live it. If you proclaim yourself to be a spiritual teacher, then walk that talk privately and publicly.

The person you have to be true to – even if there is a big prize waiting at the end – is you.

Let’s Focus on Self Esteem – Part III Courage

firefighterBy Irene Conlan -

Two friends were walking along the road together and suddenly came upon a group of children who were about to be attacked by a vicious dog. One grabbed a large stick by the side of the road to defend the children and scare off the dog while the other one stood and watched. It isn’t hard to determine which one had courage. We admire people who are brave and who defend us and others who cannot defend themselves – the military, firemen, policemen, paramedics, etc. We cheer in movies when the brave “good guy” wins.

Today we will focus on the strength group representing Courage. In the courage group are

  • Valor and bravery
  • Perseverance/Industry/Diligence
  • Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty

Valor and Bravery – we all have our own idea of bravery and generally we think of our men and women in the military defending us on foreign fields. Most of them are truly brave and we should be grateful for them always. They, and others, put themselves in harm’s way in our behalf on a regular basis. They are in true physical danger and face it regularly.

Those who stand up for what they believe even if it isn’t popular are also brave – they are morally brave. Martin Luther certainly fit this category as well as our founding fathers who stood against the king of England. Martyrs who died for their faith and those who didn’t flinch when their beliefs were threatened are examples of this kind of bravery. It takes great courage to stand alone against a crowd.

There are also those who are psychologically brave. I work with a group that helps those who are grieving the loss of a wheelchairloved one. There are those who want to throw in the towel right away – they want to die rather than pick up the pieces and they expect everyone to help them.  On the other hand, there are those who have suffered multiple losses and serious setbacks, who get up and go on, active in their own healing. These are the brave ones.  When serious illness strikes there are those who crumble and those who stand and fight it and at the same time reach out to help others.  I knew a woman named Joni Erickson Tada who, a quadriplegic since a diving accident as a young woman, faced life again and learned to paint brilliantly with a brush between her teeth and became an inspiration to millions. This is courage.

We do not all have the strength of bravery but we so admire those who do. Where do you fit?

Integrity/Genuineness/Honesty

I can’t say this better than Selegman who, in Authentic Happiness says:

You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a  “real” person. By integrity and genuineness I mean more than just telling the truth to others. I mean representing yourself – your intentions and commitments – to others and to yourself in sincere fashion, whether by word or deed. “To Thine own self, bge true, and thou canst not then be false to any man.” (Authentic Happiness, p. 147)

There was once someone in my life who had a habit of lying – even when it didn’t serve any purpose for him. I would hear  him telling a lie even when the truth would have been better in the situation. I asked him once why he did that and he couldn’t answer me. It was a long standing habit and he wasn’t interested in changing it. I came to distrust everything he said and soon was not able to stay in that friendship. He as dishonest in other things as well and hurt many others because of his lack of integrity – mainly he hurt himself. He made big claims about himself but didn’t walk his talk.

Sometimes it takes great courage to stand for what you believe to be the truth and it takes real bravery to be true to yourself when everyone around you urges you to be “someone else.”

There are courageous people all around us. Are you one of them?

Is courage one of your strengths?

Recommended reading:

Authentic Happiness Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Poetential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin E.P Seligman, N.Y., Free Press, 2002.

“Ballloon Boy” and a Sedona Sweat Lodge: Let’s talk about integrity

balloon

By Irene Conlan –

The last few weeks have seen two tragic stories in the media – the deaths of three people in Sedona at a spiritual gathering and a family who set out to deceive and bring fame to themselves  using their children to lie and hide. Two diverse stories each based on a lack of integrity.

The parents of Falcon, the “Balloon Boy,” wanted to gain fame because they craved a reality show of their own – or so they say now. During the drama of the balloon flight and following it in those hours when the boy was still missing, they failed to mention to the authorities or the media that it was a hoax. Even on Larry King Live they denied that it was a hoax when the boy and his parents were questioned repeatedly about Falcon’s statement that  he did it for “the show.”  Never mind that the nation’s attention was fixated on the TV broadcasts of this balloon flight. And never mind that emergency responders were called in, taking them away from what could have been a “real” emergency. These parents stuck to their story, knowing full well that he was hiding on the premises. They kept  quiet while emergency personnel went from house to house searching for the boy and even when they knew teams were sent to track where “something fell” out of or off of the balloon. Now they admit it was a hoax. We, as tax payers, will pay the bill for this – all because they want media exposure. So what did they teach their boys? Perhaps that it’s o.k. to lie, cheat and steal to get you what you want or pave the way for fame. Where is their integrity? If this is the kind of reality they want to create or portray,  I don’t want it.

And then there’s the spiritual leader, James Arthur Ray who had a special “treat” for his followers. Preceded by a daysweat-lodge of fasting – no food OR water (in a sweat lodge you drink copious amounts of water)  – for a day, they were given a session in a badly designed and poorly built sweat lodge. When people started feeling sick, began vomiting, and even passing out, he stood at the door insisting they return to their seats so they could “overcome” and “be strong.” When people began to die and up to two dozen were taken to surrounding hospitals, he was gone.

Why did he leave and where did he go?

Isn’t a leader one who sees that the people under him are at least safe? If one of them is distressed or ill, doesn’t a leader act either by intervening himself or seeing to it that someone capable intervenes in an effective way?

Where was he? Why did he leave?  We know he went back to California. We know in the days that followed he conducted two more conferences.

Wouldn’t a spiritual  leader go to the hospitals and be with the dying as they made their transition? Wouldn’t he stay with the ill? Wouldn’t he at least call the rest of the people together and pray for those who had succumbed to the heat and toxic air?

Why did he leave?

This is a man who set himself up as a spiritual leader but he walked away when true leadership was needed and spirituality was put to the test. Why wasn’t he helping those that had been so badly traumatized in Sedona?

His stated mission is to “create harmonic wealth in all areas of your life .”  Whose wealth are we talking about here? Certainly not the wealth of the three people who died. Did he leave because he had more fees coming in from two more conferences? Oh, I truly hope not. Why, then, did he leave?

How do we show the world integrity if our spiritual leaders don’t embody it?  Whose words can we believe?

We can’t believe the word of parents who let their child hide while the officials search and the country mourns. And we can’t believe the words of a high-profile “spiritual leader” who leaves while his followers are dying in a sweat lodge. Who can we believe? Where are the people of integrity?

Diogenes, a Greek philosopher who died in 323 B.C. is said to have gone through the city with a lighted lamp in broad daylight trying to find an honest man. He found none.

Would he find one if he searched today?

The foundation of self improvement is personal integrity. Let us each do a serious  inventory to determine if our integrity holds strong.

Practice Life With a Focus on Integrity, Not Perfection

yogaBy Emiko Jaffe -

I was in yoga class the other day when I discovered that after a two month hiatus from classes, my biggest challenge had nothing to do with flexibility, strength or technique (though all three had regressed)-my biggest challenge was my ego.   My teacher asked us to either practice handstand against the wall (a pose I had done a gazillion times before) or practice a modified version of handstand which, given my current physical conditioning, I knew was in my best interest at that moment. A modified handstand meant working into the pose progressively, building strength and improving technique incrementally until I was eventually strong enough for a full handstand. My ego, however, had its knickers in a twist, it harassed me with thoughts like “how do you expect to master a skill at this rate?” “why waste your time with preparation, just get into the final pose – you know you want to!” “seriously, folks are going to think you’re a beginner . . .”

If you are remotely familiar with yoga you will notice immediately how un-yogi-like these thoughts are. In fact, it’s really an antithetical yoga practice, more like yego. Of course, the opposite of every ego thought I had is true: by practicing slowly at a pace that was in alignment with my body’s strength and ability in that moment, I am truly practicing yoga and gaining mastery. As for people giving a flip as to what I’m doing in class, that’s just hysterically funny. I, myself, am so caught up in my own practice and thoughts (see previous paragraph) there’s just no time or energy left over for opinions about others. Also, in yoga, mastery is not the point, it’s about the journey one takes seeking mastery; so, really, I am most proficient when I adopt an open, receptive beginners mind. One of my favorite things about yoga (and I have many favorites about yoga) is how the lessons learned can be practically applied to life in general, for example: adopting a beginners mind allows me to be open and receptive to experience growth in all areas of my life.

The ego is all about getting us to buy into the phantom promise that we will be rewarded with peace and joy once we acquire and achieve more. The truth is unless we are already expressing peace and joy–which come from within us, not from without-no achievement or acquisition, no matter how great, will ever truly satisfy our soul. Take a moment to see where this might be true in your own life. Remember the car you really wanted and got? Still amped up over the new car smell and the way it handles? Are you more calm and peaceful when another driver cuts you off while you’re behind the wheel of your dream car? or are you already thinking about how much better you could give the guy the finger in a newer, cooler car?

At the end of my yoga class, lying still in the final pose feeling relaxed and refreshed, I was grateful that I ignored the crazy, anxious voice of my ego and, instead, heeded the calm wisdom of my body. This is a practice that I am still learning to master (this is why yoga is considered a “practice”) and as a very insightful yoga teacher once told me, yoga is a practice of integrity, not perfection. And wouldn’t you know? That is another great lesson from yoga that transfers well outside the yoga studio: practice life with a focus on integrity, not perfection. Give it a try, it just may increase the quality and enjoyment of your pursuits exponentially–it has mine. Namaste.

Emiko Jaffe provides professional weight loss coaching services by phone and email to clients across the country and internationally. For more information, please visit her website at http://emikojaffe.com]http://emikojaffe.com.

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