By Irene Conlan -

I’m scheduled to have my eyes checked tomorrow and pick out some new glasses. I’m long overdue for a refraction because I have put it off  on purpose. I love my frames and can’t get them anymore. They’re titanium and, therefore, very light and it’s the first time my glasses have ever been comfortable.  But they’re are worn and bent so they have to go. My vision has changed and I need a new prescription as well.

Reflecting on hanging on to the old glasses when I badly need the new ones led me to thinking about how we hang on to other things than no longer serve us or may even do us harm. We tend to “hang on” in any number of areas. For example:

We hang on to stuff that we don’t want, don’t need and don’t know what to do with. This is aptly named “clutter” and can easily be discarded. It’s that “I haven’t used it in ages, but if I get rid of it I’ll need it” kind of stuff. It feels great to let it go and see some clear areas in your home. Take it to Goodwill or a charitable thrift shop. Have a garage sale. Someone can probably use it.

We hang on to ideas that have outlived their usefulness. Stereotypical thinking should be the first to go. The thoughts that begin with “They always …” or “They never …” Let go of those ideas that could edge over into prejudice. These ideas  hurt you more than others because they keep you from experiencing the richness of diversity. Some hang on to their limiting beliefs about themselves – ” I’m not good enough, I can’t, I don’t deserve, I’m not lovable. I’m too old.” These can all be thrown out with the trash. The idea that the “old” is always better than the new or vice versa can be disposed of as well. Take a good look at your ideas and see what can be discarded.

We hang on to old emotions. We  sometimes drag up old painful memories and relive them over and over, feeling the pain again as though it just happened. We hold grudges, old anger, old hatreds that fester and spew their toxins throughout your being. Isn’t it time to sort them out and let go of the ones you no longer need? How much does your hatred of an old boyfriend/girlfriend (or anyone else) who “done you wrong” help you now? It helped you get through a painful time long ago but now has no relevance.  Isn’t it time to do an emotional housecleaning, forgive and get on with your life. Sweep out those old emotional cobwebs so there’s room for the happiness that’s available for you?

And we hang on to relationships that no longer have meaning or bring us joy or satisfaction. These are the relationships that make you grit your teeth when you think about being with them.  These are the relationships that cause pain and heartache and break your spirit – and your heart.  There are long standing relationships that never held joy for you (and probably for them as well). If you think, “Oh, no. I just can’t spend another evening with them” perhaps it’s time to cut the ties.” If being with someone ties you up in knots and makes you want to scream, perhaps you need to let them go.

This only begins the list of things we hang on to. Each of us has our own unique list. Each of us has our own reasons for hanging on to all of it. Every now and then it’s helpful to look at what we’re hoarding, ask ourselves, “why?” and begin to do a housecleaning. As we come closer to the end of the year, it’s a good time for this job so 2010 can begin with plenty of room for joy.