Self-Improvement | Letting Go | The Self Improvement Blog

The Difference Between Letting Go and Giving Up

May 14, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

I have written a lot about not giving up and the importance of pressing through difficult times until you succeed. You have probably heard a lot of things about not giving up but one thing that isn’t discussed much is letting go. Sometimes you need to know when to cut your losses and move one. So what’s the difference?

Truly successful people know when to cut their losses and when to keep pressing on. The first thing that you need to consider is purpose of what you are doing. If you know in your heart of hearts that what you are doing is part of your purpose in life, you probably should never give up. Instead, the best thing to do is to keep trying different things until you figure out the secret combination that unlocks success for you.

A great thing for you to do whenever you start something is to figure out what your pullout point is. In business this might be a certain amount of money that is lost. For instance, you might be willing to loose one hundred thousand dollars on a project. Once you reach that point you will quit and move onto something else.

This is much different then just quitting something because you feel like it’s getting tough. If you give up because something doesn’t go the way you thought it would or it’s harder then you thought, you are giving up for the wrong reasons. Letting go is part of a successful strategy where giving up is part of failure.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Giving up, letting go, self improvement

The Art of Moving On

March 3, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Markus Skupeika -

In life and love, there would be times we need to let go and embrace the prospect of moving on. Definitely, it is not an easy choice, neither it is convenient. Moving on, in life and in love, always entails risks. Anything unforeseen scares us, however moving on has to be done; sticking it out in a situation or in a relationship that is bound to fail is futile.

And just like in love, moving on is easier, the experience better when done with someone who you can trust. Just like moving on to a new location, we need the help of professional movers, lest we take all of the difficulty upon ourselves. Oftentimes, the load, no matter how heavy, becomes lighter when shared.

Which one pays in the end?

Moving companies provide us with the help we need when it’s time to move. They take care of all the hassles in moving, however they differ in the degree of assistance they can provide. This is so because we also have different needs and demands; moving companies wanting to customize their service around our needs have designed service packages for us to choose from. Some movers will necessitate all tasks involved with moving, while others prefer to deliver only those we specifically require. The cost of moving service differs along this line, too. However, it is best to calculate the nitty-gritty involved in the whole process of moving – from packing to loading, to unloading and unpacking – to wisely determine if the few dollars we try to save by cutting corners with a moving company, compensate us in the long run.

The right approach to managing the dilemma in moving is not to ask what type of mover do we need, rather ask what our needs are when we move. When we identify the need, we readily take notice of the exact solution to it.

Here are the three (3) most common options when moving:

Full Service moving companies provide everything that pertains to moving from point of origin to point of destination. Basically, it includes packing and unpacking, loading and unloading of your belongings, actual transporting and the incidental measures you need to consider, like insurance, to safeguard your belongings against damage or loss.

Full Service Option relieves you from the hassle of making arrangements yourself, and saves you the time, effort and peace of mind that you rightfully deserve as you prepare yourself to meet the challenges in your new destination. It comes with its commensurate price, too.

Self-Service Moving Option is a cross-breed between full-service and do-it-yourself option in which main tasks are shared by both the moving company and the client, obviously, for practical reasons. When distance is only short, this is a very reasonable option.

Packing and unpacking, loading and unloading are tasks to be undertaken by the client, while the moving company oversees transport.

Self-Service Option is cheap and allows you to manage your belongings well, making sure they get into the box you identify specifically, for easy retrieval later.

Do-It-Yourself Option is self-explanatory. It entails all the time, efforts and logistics involve in moving. It becomes a wise option only when friends and family come to your rescue, otherwise the money you can save may not be enough to assuage you of the sweat, pulled muscles and aching knees you will bear in the course of your transfer and after.

But where is the art?

It’s on how you see the whole prospect of moving which gives it the color of experience – would you make it an activity where you and your family can look back to with sense of enjoyment and fun in anticipation of great things to come or another drab activity that reminds them of how temporary most good things in life can become. Your choice.

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Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: letting go, moving on, self improvement, starting new

The spiritual nuance of letting go

February 9, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

By Gary Spinell -

God and the Universe’s manifestation of your energy into reality, do not work on your timetable. Due to our lack of patience we often want to move from point A to point Z rather quickly, instead of taking the time to hit all points in between. So often the points in between are there for our safety, self-awareness, spiritual growth or prerequisite knowledge to take on the next task. None of us learn how to ride a bicycle until we know how to walk and run.

It is imperative you also let go of your attachment to your goal, and release it to the Universe. If you are deeply and strongly attached to an outcome or desire, by doing so you block your ability to receive that which you desire. By attaching yourself so strongly to the outcome you are in essence telling God and the Universe you will not be happy until the desired outcome occurs. Further, by constantly focusing on the outcome, you actually are confirming you do not yet possess that which you desire.

By continually confirming you do not yet have that which you desire, your world will continue to mirror a reality with you not achieving your goal.

The nuance is that when you release your attachment to your outcome, you are releasing the power to God to make it happen in your highest good.

It is important to balance your energy both to focus on visualizing your reality once you have obtained your goal as well as focusing on the daily steps required in order to achieve your goal. But this can only occur once you let go of your desire. You might believe that goes against your desire, as if letting go of it means you will lose it. Rather, to not let go is like writing someone a letter or email and never sending it. Not sending the letter or email prevents it from reaching its destination and being filled with energy to have its desired impact.

Your attachment to “your” solution and focus on your goal restricts the energy from flowing into the Universe to manifest itself into the solution you seek. There is no way to control the outcome and therefore there is no need to spend time focused on it and worried about it. Relax and release the power for God to manifest the best solution.

There always is a solution, but you have to let the Universe determine the one in your highest good.

Knowing the fundamentals of the law of attraction is important to achieve your goals, but understanding the nuances is mandatory.
Learn more on this and other nuances in the highly rated book It Was YOU, All Along. Get your copy today on Amazon in print and Kindle format. Or go to www.youallalong.com for more information and postings.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at gspinell@youallalong.com

Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: law of atttraction, letting go, Manifesting, self improvement

Monday, July 11, 2011 – Letting Go

July 11, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

— Herman Hesse

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: daily quote, letting go

Letting Go

July 11, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Susan Russo -

“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. Why hold onto the very thing that keeps you from hope and love?”

-Leo Buscaglia

One of the biggest obstacles people deal with in life is letting go of the past. For many it becomes a full time job. They are so consumed with what was, what if, why, if only, etc. that not only do they NOT let go of the past, but they live in it.

It’s important to look at your life in retrospect for many different reasons. You can look back and either cherish the memories that were a part of your life which have made you who you are today. Or, you can learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others.

It’s when you become obsessed with the past that you forfeit living your life today. The plain, hard truth is staring you in the face and there isn’t anything you can do about it now except learn from it and move on.

When you choose to live in the past you miss out on the present. Many people don’t realize that it’s a choice. They believe that their minds simply won’t stop thinking about things when in reality it is what they feed their mind that continues the obsession.

Don’t think that I am saying that there isn’t a necessary time frame which is appropriate in letting go of past hurts, love, betrayals, bad decisions and life’s adversities. But, what I am saying is that there isn’t one single thing you can do to change it so why not accept it and let go?

Life is constantly changing, circumstances change, people change; even when we don’t want them to, but when you resist what has happened, is when you struggle the most and you remain stuck in the past.

Many people will say, “I can’t stop thinking of him/her.” Or, they lie in bed at night and let the past play back in their minds like they are watching an old movie. They rehearse conversations, they relive memories, and they even project “what if” and see themselves living as if things had worked out the way they wanted.

As I said before, it is important to go over the past to learn from it. But, unless you begin to release yourself from all of the memories you will continue to feel the way you do right now.

You do this by first accepting what is. It’s over and done. Yes, it has impacted your life but that is life and if you choose not to accept what is you will prolong your agony and only torment yourself more in the process.

Next, start to realize that your life will go on and little by little whether you like it or not, this experience will become a distant memory. So why hold on to memories for dear life when eventually they will fade anyway?

It is you that is living in the past. Life is moving on and you are choosing not to go with the flow. You are keeping yourself stuck by what you think. Whatever thoughts are going through your mind about this past situation is exactly how you are going to feel.

For instance, if you are trying to let go of a past love (or substitute your situation) and feel consumed by it, when you say things like, I can’t stop thinking of him/her, I feel horrible, I will never feel the same about anyone, I will live with this person in my heart forever, etc. How do you think these thoughts are going to make you feel?

Instead, thank your Higher Power for your experience which has provided you with a valuable lesson and say, “I may have wished things turned out differently but they didn’t, I am strong and I will get beyond this like all of life’s circumstances, I will hold onto the memories that serve me in learning and I will let go and move on.”

No matter what it is, you have to decide to talk yourself through this with a more realistic approach. View it as one of life’s many lessons and know that you will get beyond this when you accept what is. You won’t get beyond it if you resist what is.

You are so busy trying to change the past, which is impossible, or trying to relive it, that you lose the most precious gift of all; life. Life is passing you by because you are living somewhere else.

If you would only open your eyes to the many blessing around you and start to appreciate them, the past wouldn’t look as appealing of a place to live. Not to mention that it is nowhere, it’s a dead end, it’s gone, over, finito, it’s in the past.

What good does it do to dwell on the past? Where does it get you? How does it make you a better person?

You choose what you think, what you say to yourself and what you feel about any given situation or circumstance by what perspective you choose to look at it with. If you choose to hold onto the past then don’t expect to live a fulfilling life today.

On the other hand, if you truly accept what is, learn from it, let go of it and move on, you will be able to embrace what is right in front of you and you can actually begin to enjoy life again.

Living with only memories and what ifs, is the ultimate waste of your time and your life. It’s totally up to you as to what you do with your life, so why not choose to live instead of dying with the past?

Letting go isn’t always easy but when you do, you can start to live now instead of then.

Susan Russo has written one of the top breakup books on the market. Her direct approach is a wake up call for anyone who is stuck in the letting go process. How would you like to move beyond the pain and start to feel like a human again? Find out how to by starting with Susan’s FREE mini report.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: break up, Divorce, heartache, letting go, living in the past, relationship advice, Relationships

June 10, 2011 – Letting Go

June 10, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

— Herman Hesse

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: daily quote, letting go

Untie The Rope

June 10, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

Editor’s note: I received this in my email this morning and thought it was a powerful message that needs to be shared. Think it through. Irene

By Tyler Perry -

Hey there, you good?

So, I just finished filming a really good movie called GOOD DEEDS. It’s me like you’ve never seen me before. It comes out in February, brace yourself. There were a lot of long days on this shoot, so I wanted to take a break. I decided to do some traveling and since I still have 20 more pounds to lose before I start my next movie, ALEX CROSS, I thought I would go to the Grand Canyon and do some hiking, climbing and so on. At one point in the climbing, I was over a steep drop and was tied to a safety rope, while a buddy’s safety rope was tied to me. It was my responsibility to help him up, since I was bigger and weighed more. I told him, “I’ll hold on to you to help you up but if you start to pull me over with you, I’m going to untie this rope.” We had a good laugh about it, but I was serious…

I started thinking about that moment a few days ago. How many times are we tied to a person, people or things that are pulling us down and we won’t untie the rope? For whatever reason, be it family, friends, society, or just the feeling of being obligated, trapped or that if you don’t, no one else will. I have watched so many people go over a cliff with a person that they are trying to help up, it’s sad. YOU MUST UNTIE THE ROPE!!!

This is your life and you are wasting it being tied to someone who is destroying his or her opportunities and yours. If the person that you are trying to help does not know that they are worth being saved, how do you expect them to put any value on you saving them? You’re not worth it to them. They can’t get it! SO YOU NEED TO! Listen to me, untie the rope and don’t lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who can’t survive on your level. You hear me? Maybe they have gone as high as they can go. Just because you can survive on that level doesn’t mean that everyone else can. Stop trying to help them, UNTIE THE ROPE! I know you may feel this is cruel, but what is more cruel is dying a death that’s not your own. Letting your destiny go to hell because someone else pulled you there. Are you kidding me? That isn’t God!

Here is what I have learned over the almost 20 years that I have been in this business. Let me tell you, I have seen and worked with some of the most talented people you can imagine and I used to wonder why they never got any higher than they are. You know, the kind of people who always seem to be at the door, but never can go in. It used to blow my mind until I got a revelation from God.

For many years I was the same way, I would get close and things would fall apart. I couldn’t get any traction, not in my career, not in my personal life and not in the pursuit of happiness. I just couldn’t move forward. Through much prayer and self-discovery, I found out that I used to be, notice I said “USED TO BE,” a self-saboteur. I would find a way to subconsciously destroy every good thing that was in my life and I didn’t even know I was doing it. Most self-sabotaging people don’t know that they are doing it. I don’t think there is anyone sadder than a person who blames everyone else, but themselves for their situation. The very revelation that I was causing my own problems was one of the greatest blessings God could have allowed me to see. Once I realized the behavior, I was able to change it. That is why my life is in such a great place right now. I realized that my very thoughts were keeping me from being successful at everything. “So, as a man thinketh, so is he.”

Many times a lot of us sabotage subconsciously because of what mamma or daddy said, traumatic childhoods or any number of things that happened growing up that made us feel that we shouldn’t have or that we didn’t deserve it. I’m here to tell you all, that misinformation was wrong. You do deserve it! You are worthy of it!

Why am I saying this? I’m just tired of people being upset with people who have realized their dreams. The only difference in someone who is living their dream and someone who can’t get it to come to pass is they don’t feel they deserve it. They don’t feel they are worthy of it. So many of us have dreams, dreams that the world is waiting for, talents that will help heal and change nations, but we keep destroying our own successes. I know for a fact that if I had not figured this out, you wouldn’t be reading this email right now. Nor would I be a happy soul.

The world is waiting for your gift. Give it to yourself and you will give it to them, but first you have to UNTIE THE ROPE.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: letting go, self care

Hanging on to things I no longer neeed

December 16, 2009 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

I’m scheduled to have my eyes checked tomorrow and pick out some new glasses. I’m long overdue for a refraction because I have put it off on purpose. I love my frames and can’t get them anymore. They’re titanium and, therefore, very light and it’s the first time my glasses have ever been comfortable. But they’re are worn and bent so they have to go. My vision has changed and I need a new prescription as well.

Reflecting on hanging on to the old glasses when I badly need the new ones led me to thinking about how we hang on to other things than no longer serve us or may even do us harm. We tend to “hang on” in any number of areas. For example:

We hang on to stuff that we don’t want, don’t need and don’t know what to do with. This is aptly named “clutter” and can easily be discarded. It’s that “I haven’t used it in ages, but if I get rid of it I’ll need it” kind of stuff. It feels great to let it go and see some clear areas in your home. Take it to Goodwill or a charitable thrift shop. Have a garage sale. Someone can probably use it.

We hang on to ideas that have outlived their usefulness. Stereotypical thinking should be the first to go. The thoughts that begin with “They always …” or “They never …” Let go of those ideas that could edge over into prejudice. These ideas hurt you more than others because they keep you from experiencing the richness of diversity. Some hang on to their limiting beliefs about themselves – ” I’m not good enough, I can’t, I don’t deserve, I’m not lovable. I’m too old.” These can all be thrown out with the trash. The idea that the “old” is always better than the new or vice versa can be disposed of as well. Take a good look at your ideas and see what can be discarded.

We hang on to old emotions. We sometimes drag up old painful memories and relive them over and over, feeling the pain again as though it just happened. We hold grudges, old anger, old hatreds that fester and spew their toxins throughout your being. Isn’t it time to sort them out and let go of the ones you no longer need? How much does your hatred of an old boyfriend/girlfriend (or anyone else) who “done you wrong” help you now? It helped you get through a painful time long ago but now has no relevance. Isn’t it time to do an emotional housecleaning, forgive and get on with your life. Sweep out those old emotional cobwebs so there’s room for the happiness that’s available for you?

And we hang on to relationships that no longer have meaning or bring us joy or satisfaction. These are the relationships that make you grit your teeth when you think about being with them. These are the relationships that cause pain and heartache and break your spirit – and your heart. There are long standing relationships that never held joy for you (and probably for them as well). If you think, “Oh, no. I just can’t spend another evening with them” perhaps it’s time to cut the ties.” If being with someone ties you up in knots and makes you want to scream, perhaps you need to let them go.

This only begins the list of things we hang on to. Each of us has our own unique list. Each of us has our own reasons for hanging on to all of it. Every now and then it’s helpful to look at what we’re hoarding, ask ourselves, “why?” and begin to do a housecleaning. As we come closer to the end of the year, it’s a good time for this job so 2010 can begin with plenty of room for joy.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: hanging on, joy, letting go, letting go of old ideas, procrastination, self improvement

Reclaiming Draining Energy

September 21, 2009 By Guest Contributor 1 Comment

By Lisa Hayes –

A previous guest on my radio show said something to this effect. “You can free up about 80% of your personal energy if you are willing to give up your addiction to being right and your addiction to being liked.” Recently I have found myself tired and wondering where my energy was going. A few days ago I was thumbing through some of my old notes and found that quote. I find myself reflecting on just the past few days instances in my life where I was bleeding my energy in those ways.

* I have a client who’s bills are paid by a bookkeeper. I frequently have to ask for the invoices to be paid in a timely manner. Whenever I deal with this bookkeeper I feel as if I am a nuisance to her, (this situation should of course be a nuisance to me). Every time this exchange happens, I try harder to be nicer. She is always abrupt, sometimes even curt. The harder I try, the cooler she gets. I keep trying because I want her to like me. Why? She’s a bookkeeper – not a client. I shouldn’t have to make those calls anyway!

* I recently got into a dispute with an admissions officer at my son’s soon to be college regarding the status of his state residency. The issue seemed very clear to me. However, three hours, four phone calls, six emails later, I’ve learned logic doesn’t always apply to law.

* Last week I was busy trying to find a renter for one of our houses. I talked to one woman who I believed was my ideal renter. I even followed up with a charming email message about how much I’d enjoyed talking with her, (probably over-kill). When she didn’t rent the house, the first question I asked myself was why she didn’t like me – not why she didn’t like the house.

* My mother and I got into a discussion about religion. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how that progressed…

I could go on, but I’m too tired. I just don’t have the energy.

So, I am on a recovery program. First of all, in an effort to have the energy to sustain myself through dinner without a nap, I have solemnly sworn off defending my opinion. I have had the opportunity to end several conversations with the words, “oh – ok”. Not only has this conserved energy but it’s also saved me at least forty-five minutes of time I might have continued unnecessary conversations.

The addiction to being liked is harder for me to kick. However, I’m committed. I’ve decided to stop trying to charm the parking enforcement officer. It hasn’t worked so far, it’s probably never going to work. I also didn’t take personal offense when the phone representative at my electric company didn’t seem enchanted with me while I was making a payment by phone. More importantly, I have decided to make my compass point in my personal relationships finding opportunities to give approval, not finding opportunities to seek it.

This change in focus is actually quite freeing. It’s a bit like taking off a pair of sunglasses and seeing the world a little brighter. I like the new view. I’ll let you know how I do without my nap!

Lisa Hayes is the author of HOW TO ESCAPE FROM RELATIONSHIP HELL. She is a mother of two, yoga instructor, hypnotherapist, and internet project manager. Lisa likes long walks on the beach and naps. You can contact her at http://www.escapefromrelationshiphell.com

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Filed Under: Emotional Health, Health, Intellectual Health, Physical Health Tagged With: being right, energy, letting go, Self Improvement

Looking For The Only Happiness

May 25, 2008 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By E. Raymond Rock http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=E._Raymond_Rock

When a Buddhist monk or nun ordains, they give away everything. They give away their relationships, their families, their business career or job, house, car, clothes – everything. They trade it all for three simple robes and a begging bowl, and perhaps a chance to see the “Dhamma” — a catalyst for personal transformation. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Happiness, Self Improvement Tagged With: Enlightenment, letting go, true happiness

The Difference Between Letting Go and Giving Up

The Art of Moving On

The spiritual nuance of letting go

Monday, July 11, 2011 – Letting Go

Letting Go

June 10, 2011 – Letting Go

Untie The Rope

Hanging on to things I no longer neeed

Reclaiming Draining Energy

Looking For The Only Happiness

Brain Magic

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