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Getting things fixed

August 19, 2010 By 1 Comment

toolboxBy Irene Conlan -

Yesterday was spent getting things fixed and back in order after the lightening hit our house during Tuesday night’s storm.  We had a repairman from the cable company come to fix the digital phone. The charge from the lightening was so powerful that it blew the cover off the jack outlet for the phone and left the wires exposed. I found the cover broken and burned half way across the room under the couch.

When that was fixed, the phone still didn’t work – the phone base was “fried” and powerless. So now I have a very inexpensive phone (a.k.a. the cheapest phone I could buy) while the good phone is being replaced. (It’s one of those situations that requires me to return the phone to AT&T in exchange for a new one – it will take two or three weeks). The repairman also rewired the modem and router for the computers, reset the TV and got everything back up and running properly.

The damage wasn’t insurmountable but simply an inconvenience. I know I can manage without voice mail until I get my phone back. The only thing left to do is replace the halogen bulb in the floor lamp and mail the damaged phone to AT&T.

I normally would be at least a bit upset by it all but I am so grateful that no one was hurt and that the damage was minor that I just couldn’t get too rankled by it. My grandson was all excited about it and was bemoaning the fact that he missed it. He had me tell him about the pop and the sparks that flew several times and asked more questions than I could answer. For him it was a great experience and one he could tell his friends about.

So what’s the point of all this?

Life changes quickly sometimes. Sometimes the changes are small and can easily be taken in stride – like this incident with the lightening. It was easy to go about fixing the damage and finding the positives and even the humor in it. It has already become little more than a topic of conversation.

Sometimes an instant can change your life drastically – for the good or for the not-so-good. A car crash, a heart attack, a hurricane or tornado, loss of your job – these are life changing situations. Meeting your soul-mate, getting married, having a baby, finding a new job, buying a new house, moving – these are also  life changing situations but on the positive side. Both require adjustment and adaptation on your part. According to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, some of the positive events in our life, such as marriage and starting a new job – are as stressful as some of the negative events. Major life changes require resilience and equanimity. (Note: You can see the Holmes and Rahe stress scale below in the Health category).

Resilience and equanimity come from:

  • knowing who you are, what you want and what you believe
  • knowing your strengths and weaknesses and knowing how to use them to your advantage (yes, you need to know how to deal with weaknesses just as much as you need to know how to use your strengths).
  • having successful experiences dealing with change and learning from them
  • having unsuccessful experiences dealing with change and learning from them
  • having a network of friends and family who care and will help
  • having in place some good stress management tools; e.g., relaxation techniques, regular meditation,  deep breathing exercises, etc.
  • having an attitude of appreciation and gratitude

These are the basics and  each of us needs a different mix because we are unique individuals. All of this is work you do for yourself – perhaps with a mentor or coach now and then to help you stay on track.

To me, this is what self improvement is about – developing the tools to meet life’s challenges head-on with grace so you can enjoy as much happiness along the way as possible.

I hope your day is wonderful.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: , , , ,

How to Set (and Keep) New Year’s Resolutions

December 8, 2008 By Leave a Comment

By Ki Gray -

Every year, people around the world promise themselves, next year will be different. They make commitments to improve their lives, end bad habits, and generally be better people. From losing weight to quitting smoking to spending more time with their families, people resolve to make big changes at the end of each year, but more often than not find themselves slipping back into their old patterns come mid January.

This year, if you have some big changes you’d like to make in your life, get serious about making and keeping your New Year’s resolutions. First things first, you have to identify what resolutions you want to make, and why. Do you want to save more money? Or spend more time with your kids? Or stop getting so stressed out about your job? Maybe you want to be a better listener overall, or perhaps to be less cynical, or maybe to be less of a pushover. Regardless of what your goal(s) may be, identifying them is the first step to successful resolution making.

Once you’ve identified your goal(s), make an itemized list, and include an explanation as to why you want to end, begin, or modify these behaviors. Do they get in the way of your day? Are they causing your health to deteriorate? Or maybe they just make you feel bad? Identify what the core problem is and explain it as clearly as possible, so when you’re working on actually implementing the changes in your life, you’ll have something to look back on and use as encouragement reminding you why you made the resolution in the first place.

Once you’ve got your list of resolutions all worked out, make a plan to implement them in your life. If one of your goals is to exercise more, join a gym, or schedule an hour before or after work for yourself to get a fitness regimen into your routine. If you’re resolutions include quitting smoking, buy nicotine patches, gum, or other tools to make it easier on yourself. In short, you want to equip yourself with whatever you’ll need to achieve your goals and stick to your resolutions.

Finally, devise a reward and/or punishment system to help you stay on track. Most anything will work (but be careful not to choose a reward that will impede your efforts, like, “Every day I work out, I can have a milkshake” rewards like that are counterproductive at best), so think of treats you enjoy, like a weekly lunch out with friends, or a night out, and use it to reward yourself for sticking to and accomplishing your goals. Set a reward schedule to keep track and determine whether or not you’ve earned your reward. Continuing with the example of exercising more as a resolution, let’s say you set a goal of working out four times a week. Keep track on a calendar, and if you stick to the schedule for two weeks straight, reward yourself. This system can be modified to fit almost any resolution(s) you set of course, you have to be honest, or the system won’t work.

Regardless of what you resolve to change, improve, or modify about your life, this year, commit to actually making it happen.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ki_Gray http://EzineArticles.com/?How-to-Set-(and-Keep)-New-Years-Resolutions&id=1756389

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: , ,