By Irene Conlan -

Some years ago there was a skit on Saturday Night Live with Gilda Radner modeling “Jewish Jeans.”  As I recall they had a big star of David on the back pocket where designers put their name or logo. She paraded all over the set showing off her Jewish Jeans and, finally, one of the other characters asked her, “Do you have to be Jewish to wear Jewish Jeans.” Her reply? “No, but it helps.”

Self esteem is like that. Do you have to have high self esteem to be successful? No, but it helps. Some people are driven by the need to “prove themselves” and they become highly successful but perhaps not highly happy. Self esteem, it seems to me, is one of  the important ingredients in happiness – can you be truly happy if you don’t like yourself much?  One of the ways to improve your self esteem is to recognize and utilize your strengths. Isn’t it true that when you’re feeling really strong in some area, that you are happier?

We are going to use the strengths outlined by Positive Psychology. If you haven’t read the first article in this series, go back to the home page and look for the man in the mirror. The first group of strengths are the WKs – the Wisdom and Knowledge Strengths.

I think of my five year old grandson when I think about this grouping of strengths. He said to me not long ago, “Grandma, I want to know everything.” “Everything about what?” I asked. “Everything about everything, ” was his answer. He went on to opine that by the time  he hits thirteen he should know everything. Don’t we all wish? The strengths are listed in progressive order – Jack definitely demonstrates the first two.

Wisdom and Knowledge

1, Curiosity/Interest in the world
2. Love of learning
3 Judgment/Critical thinking/Open mindednes
4. Ingenuity/Originality/Practical Intelligence/Street Smarts
5. Social intelligence/Personal Intelligence/Emotional Intelligence
6. Perspective

Curiosity is being involved with the new, the novel, the unexpected -not being thrown by things that are different. People strong in this trait are seldom if ever bored because they look for things to investigate. Are you curious or do you just let things happen around you without questioning?  Do you have to know what makes things tick? Do you want to know the answer to “who, what, when where and why”?

Love of Learning is just what it says. Do you love school, love learning anywhere you find something new? Do you continue to investigator new avenues of interest? Have you developed a topic that you’re expert in and people seek you out for your opinion? Do you love museums and bask in the smell of an old library? Do you hold the belief that you’re never too old (or too anything for that matter) to learn?

Judgment/Critical thinking/Open mindednes. Do you jump to conclusions of do you  examine all sides of  the issue before you make a decision based on your findings? Many assume they know the answer or the solution without thinking it through.  Many have closed their mind to anything new on some subjects or issues and don’t leave room for new answers or varied solutions. Does the statement, “He gets all his exercise by jumping to conclusions” apply to you? I will stick my neck out and say that the two areas most likely to foster closed mindedness are religion and politics.”MY church is the only true one and MY political party is correct regardless of who is in office” are sometime not only though but adamantly proclaimed by some. Do you have areas of close mindedness or are you open to new ideas, new approaches, new information, new insights?

Ingenuity/Originality/Practical Intelligence/Street Smarts Here’s where the rubber meets the road. Seligman calls this strength “practical intelligence, common sense or street smarts.” (Authentic Happiness, p. 143) How many people do you know who seem to have brilliant minds but can’t change a light bulb or make a good decision? I was married to a man who was a genius at political strategy but simply couldn’t do every day things like  mow the lawn. (The only time he did that, he almost cut his hand off because he reached in too pull clogged grass out while the mower was running.) I have two sons – both exceptionally bright. One, even as a tiny child, could build anything. The other one had difficulty stacking blocks and putting legos together. But that was o.k. He would let his brother do the building – and even supervise it -and then he would  pretend he was an airplane and bomb them. As an adult  he has learned to build and fix things well but his great strength is in his ingenuity and originality. He thinks way ahead of the times and has to wait for everyone else to catch up. He is the most creative thinker I have ever met. What about you? Are your strengths in this area?

Social intelligence/Personal Intelligence/Emotional Intelligence is an understanding of yourself and others. It is knowing your own likes and dislikes, identifying and understanding your own emotions and the emotions of others, and taking the proper action to deal with them. Easier said than done. Some people are so introspective and self absorbed that they hardly know anyone else is around, much less know how those others are feeling. Some are so flighty and other-oriented that they aren’t aware of either their own or others emotions – everything seems superficial. To understand more about emotional intelligence view the second video of this week by Daniel Goleman  or read his book, Emotional Intelligence. Seligman states, “Personal intelligence consists in finely tuned access of  this strength. Are you aware of your emotions and the emotions of others and know how to deal with them in daily life?

Perspective singles you out as the “go to” person in your area of expertise. It makes you the “wise one” who can put everything together and come to a solution that  no one else may have seen. Again, my son is a “wise one” in the areas of business management, political strategy, corporate structure, advertising strategy – anything that requires putting together ideas and people from your own and other fields to create something new. He amazes me on a daily basis. If you want a new perspective on your own business, political campaign, corporation or foundation, or advertising campaiagn he’s your “go to” guy. He is the epitome of this strength.

You may not rank high in any of these categories. Not to worry, more is to come. You will find your strength(s) before the week is over.  If you want to know more about it now visit the Positive Psychology website and take their survey: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

Recommended reading:

Authentic Happiness Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Poetential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin E.P Seligman, N.Y., Free Press, 2002.

Happiness Now: TImeless Wisdom for Feeling Good FAST, Robert HOlden, Ph.D. Hayhouse, 2007.

Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, Daniel Goleman. Bantam Books, 1995.