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Being Authentic Means Stepping From Behind Your Mask

April 19, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Lynn Banis -

What are the roles you play in your workplace? If you are like most people you play many roles. You may be a boss, a subordinate, a friend, a counselor, a mentor, a critic, a collaborator, a supervisor, an influencer, etc. Go ahead and write them all down. I bet you will be surprised at how many roles you actually do play. I will also bet that most of them are legitimately needed to get your work done. None of the roles is the real you however – they are just what they are called – roles. They are actions you do and masks you put on to do your work. Who are you really beneath all of those masks?

Does the real you show up in any of your various roles? Probably not if you have not thought about it. In order for the real you to show up you must be intentional and authentic in all of the roles you play. It takes time and attention to first discover who you really are and how to make yourself show up that way in all of the things you do and in the way you do them. Authenticity and intention are the bottom line. If you have not done the work to find out what that is and who you are it can be very scary to think about stepping out from behind your masks.

Many of the masks we put on – or roles we play – are designed to protect us from the things we find hurtful or scary. It is hard for most of us to be in vulnerable situations so we devise a role to get us out of that vulnerable place. We seem to need to maintain our space at work and to not let other people know who we really are. Most of us feel it is safer that way. Most of us also find that playing all of those roles and wearing all of the masks is tiring and confusing. They keep us from being who we know we are at our core. Sometimes they get in the way of our living our values and beliefs and that causes us to be frustrated and dissatisfied.

The answer is to study our values and beliefs, define what our passion and vision are and then to move authentically toward them. People will react to your change. You can count on that. They will also come to respect you for stepping out and being real and authentic. In fact, you will find that you have more control because you are fully in control of your own actions and reactions to things. You will be at choice which leads to more creative and fulfilling decision making.

It’s up to you – mask or authenticity?

Find your authenticity and intention now! Call Lynn at 847-998-9882 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 847-998-9882 end_of_the_skype_highlighting to get support for your discoveries.

Lynn Banis PhD, MCC is known as America’s High Performance Coach. She specializes in helping women. executives and entrepreneurs make the most of their opportunities and potential. Her years of working with small and large businesses has given her a depth of knowledge that is invaluable to her clients. You can reach her at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com or at her email address listed on the site.

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Happy Halloween

October 31, 2009 By Leave a Comment

pumpkin

By Irene Conlan -

Halloween.

It’s a day for dressing up, putting on a mask and going from house to house asking for treats. Its origins are ancient but in our day it’s a day for children. A strange holiday  -  we send our children out to beg for candy that we generally won’t let them eat at home (and take a lot of it away from them after they go to bed because we don’t want them to overdose on sugar). We have to check everything they receive to be sure someone hasn’t put something harmful – like razorblades in apples – in their Halloween bag.  And we go with them in case there are molesters or someone else in the neighborhood  who might do them harm. We take them to haunted houses that scare the wits out of them and then tell them not to cry because it isn’t real. It is, indeed, a strange holiday but it can be a tremendous bunch of fun.

We, as adults, also put on a costume and a mask and pretend we’re some one else. This gives us license to do things we may not ordinarily do – like beg for treats.

But Halloween isn’t the only day that many hide behind a mask – some do it on a regular basis. Some never take it off. It is just too scary to let anyone know who they really are.

Have you ever had the thought, “If anybody knew who or what I really am, they wouldn’t like me”? Or have you thought “What if they find out  that I’m a fake, a phoney?”  The conclusion is that I cannot let anyone know who I really am so I’ll tell them what they want to hear and I’ll act like the person I think they want me to be.  Some have done it for so long that they have only a dim idea of who they are when they aren’t pretending.

It’s a little tiring, always trying to put on the face you think someone wants to see.

So wouldn’t it be a hoot if this Halloween instead of pretending to be someone else you pretended to be you?

Be you. Let others see how much you enjoy this kid’s day. Let someone else see how much you love beauty, how much you care about things – how want to let loose and do something you love that no one knows about.

It could be the scariest Halloween you’ve ever had but just think how much fun it could be to take that mask off once and for all.

Happy Halloween

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