As the song says. “Regrets, I’ve had a few.” And I guess most of us can probably identify with that. I hope yours have been “too few to mention”. Perhaps the biggest mistake of all is to not learn the lessons from our mistakes. Mistakes can result from something we say or do. But maybe you feel that what you didn’t say or do was a bigger mistake. Perhaps you have made choices that turned out to be wrong and which resulted in an experience that you would rather not have had. Whatever the mistake, you’ve survived it – it is now woven into the fabric of you and has contributed to you being the person you are.

Mistakes are simply part of growing – remember, if you don’t make a mistake you don’t make anything. But are there ways we can survive our mistakes and not live a life full of regret?

First up, if you make a mistake, admit to it. Take back control by taking personal responsibility for your actions. Don’t blame others, because you don’t really pass them responsibility, you just pass them power. So own up and look for the learning. Acknowledge a mistake has been made – that’s the first step to moving beyond regret.

Your words or actions may have cause harm or offense, so don’t be slow to apologize. Make sure you are apologizing for the right reasons though. If you feel an apology will rekindle old pain or resentment, then leave well alone. Apologize to someone to help them move on, not to make you feel better. If you find yourself in the position where you feel that an old wrong can’t be righted, then find a way to forgive yourself and move on. Maybe you could try writing a letter, setting out how you feel. Write it all down, but don’t post it. Articulating how you feel in this way can help you to make the shift to self-forgiveness.

What about the things you regret not doing? It’s never too late to change your life. Maybe you regret a relationship breakdown, not taking a holiday, not going to college. There are always options. Maybe you can rekindle the romance, or take the lessons learnt into a new relationship. Or maybe you can find out more about the holiday you wanted to take. You could rent movies, or buy guide books to find out more about the country you missed the visit to. And it’s never to late to go to college – check out evening classes if that is the ony time you have available. But remember, there are new opportunities waiting for you every day – so don’t keep looking back – you might miss them. NLP techniques can help you to set achievable goals and give you the skills you need to achieve whatever you want.

Lastly be thankful for what you have and for what you are. Every mistake has taught you something, so make sure you take the learning and be grateful. Often our most valuable lessons come from mistakes. Pay attention though – if you keep making the same mistake over and over, you are not learning the lessons! The only way to break the cycle is by taking action and adapting your behaviour.

So there is it. Embrace your mistakes and know that life is simply teaching you a lesson. Forgive yourself and others and enjoy your life. As Edith Piaf said “je ne regrette rien”.

Are you living the life you deserve with no regrets? Why not find out how NLP techniques can help you to take control of your life and banish your regrets forever.

Why not have a look at our new bestseller You Can Achieve Anything. Available now on Amazon Kindle.

Audrey Finch is CEO of Better Life 4u. Committed to helping you break through the barriers to achieve success.

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It is said we learn either one of two ways: the easy way or the hard way. The theory is this — the easy way of learning things is via observing others and learning from their mistakes, versus the hard way, which is learning lessons from our own hard mistakes.

Apart from a wonderful time away, my first wedding anniversary will always be memorable for one of the hard lessons learned. Driving back from the south-west, complete with the guidance of a borrowed GPS, I was using the 5 kilometre error in my speedometer to take my speed to the limit. Normally I’m a very careful driver with my speed. As it happened I inched up and over the speed limit — in fact my vehicle was well over the 110 kph limit on a particular stretch of road that’s known for accidents — and one that’s heavily patrolled. The rest is history.

I was only temporarily over the limit but I’d been skating close to the edge for the entire weekend. It is plain to me now that the $150 fine and the two (2) demerit points I got for speeding are actually a huge blessing in disguise as I find God reminding me of the promise I made to obey all the road laws this year and beyond. I get $20 per fortnight pocket money and it will take three months to pay for the fine, but I’m glad because it is a good way of learning a hard lesson.

Some people might think that my thinking’s a little bizarre. But I know that paying for hard lessons with grace and acceptance is the best way of dealing with the pain and embarrassment that inevitably comes. It’s hard initially but easier in the longer run.

If you have a hard lesson to learn, learn it once and for all, as much as you possibly can and:

1. Don’t reject the lesson, skirting your responsibility. If you transgressed it is you that must pay.

2. Don’t get down on yourself — stay positive. If you can accept the lesson there’s no need to berate yourself.

3. Ensure that others, where possible, aren’t also punished for your mistakes — my wife shouldn’t have to ‘fund’ my fine from the family budget — that would punish her when she’s not at fault.

4. Make sure you apologise to people affected and seek their forgiveness also.

It is no real issue if you consider you’ve actually done everything to learn a lesson from a mistaken or erroneous action. The main thing is learning the lesson and then moving on. Don’t worry; if you haven’t in fact learned the lesson properly, you’ll no doubt get another chance — life seems to work out that way!

Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve’s key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Wickham http://EzineArticles.com/?Learning-Lessons—The-Easier-Hard-Way&id=1187452

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