By Irene Conlan -

We generally think about what we will do in a time when everything goes wrong. We expect times like that and try to stay prepared to “get through” them as gracefully as we can.

Why not talk about when everything goes right?

There are days (even weeks) like that, you know.

I often wonder if it is simply our focus that makes us believe things are going right or wrong. For example, this has been almost a perfect morning. It is a beautiful day in Scottsdale, I had a great night’s sleep, a good start to the day, the cat is purring next to me as I write, and most of my early morning work is finished. I lost a pound (now a total of 82 pounds lost), and the phone, so far, has been quiet. Now that’s a great beginning. I had to think for a moment if anything negative happened. Well, for starters it was cold in this house this morning and when I went on line for a temperature check I read that it is 49 degrees. It was uncomfortable enough that I got dressed instead of sitting at the computer in my nightgown.  If I wanted to get with the negative program, I could list the things that concern me and take my day on a rapid decline into negativity.

I choose not to do that.

It is not what surrounds me, it is not what I own, it is not the weather and it is not circumstances that make me happy or create a perfect day – it is my thoughts, my attitude, my beliefs, my awareness, my responses. Although other people can spew negative all around, it is my choice whether or not I let that rattle my cage and bring me down. Sometimes I have to struggle to keep it from impacting me and sometimes I have let it change my mood  before I realize what hit me. Then I have to work to get back up to a happy state of mind. (Being happy and work are not mutually exclusive).

I had  a perfect example of this earlier today. I do some work for a blog that helps people who are grieving. We get a lot of mail which I post. This morning there were two letters from women who’s husbands had died within the past year. One was “woe is me, I can’t survive this, I can’t go on, my life is over, nobody understands.” The other woman wrote, “he was wonderful, I miss him terribly, sometimes I wonder how I can manage when I have do do things he always did for me, I know I’ll make it, he would want me to be happy and I will be happy again.” My guess is that they are both right. The first will mourn for the rest of her life and have an endless pity party while the second one will learns to manage,will probably finds love again, and and will have a celebration of life party.

It sounds very Pollyannaish but I’ve never had a problem with Pollyanna. In fact, she’s right on target for the new approach to Psychology – Positive Psychology that looks for the good, the strengths, the positive happenings.  Pollyanna played “the glad game” – trying to find what made her glad regardless of what was going on around her. Perhaps we could all give that game a try.

So what about you?

What will you do when everything goes right?