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Is there too much talk about happiness?

October 18, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

The other day I received the following comment from Dr. Dana Lightman about the article “Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness:

I enjoyed this post and want to underscore the importance of optimism with regard to happiness. I sometimes think we have become too focused on happiness in our current culture,and may have forgotten that to be human is to experience the full range of human emotions, including sadness, grief, frustration, irritation, anger, etc. The key is to not get stuck in these negative emotions, that can push us onto a downward spiral. The key variable for those who are able to experience and then move beyond negative emotions is optimism. An optimist knows there is light at the end of the tunnel. A non-optimist just sees the darkenss in the tunnel.

Dana Lightman,Ph.D.
www.danalightman.com

I wholeheartedly agree with Dr. Lightman and would just like to add to her comment.

There is, indeed, an inordinate focus on personal happiness these days and the question arises, “How much is too much?”  How much does it take to counterbalance the constant onslaught of negativity that we get in the media, in the workplace, and perhaps even from friends and family?  We are bombarded with negative at every turn. We hear instantly of any tragedy any place in the world and we get constant updates on the number of men, women and children killed in war, in automobile crashes, in murders and other types of mayhem. We learn of the indiscretions of the rich and famous almost before they get home and by morning their pictures are all over the news and the tabloids – and we hear about it for days and weeks. We hear warnings of impending illnesses as soon as it is the “season” for them and then learn about how the prevention and treatment measures are as  dangerous as the disease.We hear statistics about the rising divorce rate, the growth of gangs and the greed and graft of those in high places – not just in our own town and state but around the globe.

It’s like being on a treadmill. As you increase the speed you have to run faster to keep up. As the negativity becomes even greater, we have to balance it with more positive. As unhappiness becomes more prevalent we have to offer more happiness.

We also have that old idea that going for personal happiness is selfish. What a concept. There’s a Latin phrase that I love, “Non habit, non dabit” – you can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t radiate happiness from a base of misery and grief.

Happiness is available to you and it doesn’t come from stuff or other people. It is a state of mind, a way of being and it’s an “inside job.”  You develop it. You “work” for it. It is knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel, as Dr. Lightman says, that keeps you  balanced while you’re navigating in darkness, pain, doubt, turmoil, and negativity. You will feel the pain, experience the doubt, know the turmoil and recognize the negativity but you’ll be like that children’s toy, the Weeble – it wobbles but it won’t fall down.

It is my intention to talk a lot more about happiness on this blog.

Have a happy day.

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Escaping the Effect of Negativity

June 21, 2010 By Leave a Comment

c1 By Roseanna Leaton, -

Negative thinking makes you feel really low.  It’s very uncomfortable for you and affects everyone around you too.  But by simply learning a couple of easy mental techniques you can remove negativity from your life.

In the last week, a couple of friends have commented upon how best to deal with negativity.  One of them questioned how you could get certain words or phrases out of your mind; you know those type of annoying negative comments that you wish you had never heard, but you did, and then they just go around and around in your brain?  Or things which you have just thought as opposed to heard and you keep chewing over them again and again?

The other issue has to do with the way in which associating with negative people can leave you feeling pretty low as well.  This friend passed the comment that she didn’t think she should spend so much time with a particular person because it was getting her down.  Her friend, she said, was so negative that she just felt incredibly drained and low even after being in her company for just five minutes.  We do all know of people who have a predominantly negative tendency.

Everyone feels a bit low or negative from time to time as a natural response to disappointing or stressful life experiences.  At such a time it can become hard to shift yourself up a gear and step out of it.  Negative thoughts and images can become firmly lodged in your mind.  Usually we find that after a short while we do manage to shake these thoughts and feelings off and move forward again with a spring in our step.

I’m not talking about that “normal” expression of negativity here.  The negativity which both of my friends brought up is of a rather more severe variety.  When I am around someone who is negative as a matter of course I feel as if a black thunder cloud surrounds them and that it is trying its best to creep towards me as well!  It’s like a black mist or fog that is wafting its way towards me, and it’s not a pleasant sensation.  I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is for the person who is living in that black gunk.

If you do spend time around a very negative person you need to know how to protect yourself from it.  Every thought which everyone has does transmit energy out into the universe.  When a negative vibe is working its way towards your comfort zone you need to mentally put up some armor with which to deflect it.  Thought energy is fought with thought energy.

And so you can think in a way which deflects that negative energy.  You could, for instance, mentally place yourself inside a beautiful shiny balloon which keeps you in a bubble of positivity.  Or you could erect a mental mirrored shield and send the negative energy straight back to whence it came.  There are endless ways in which you can protect yourself from negative thought energy; you just need to be aware of these principles and use your own imagination to create an armory which suits you.

It is a little more complicated for the person who is feeling negative on a daily basis.  Negativity is one expression of low self-esteem and so anything which builds your self-esteem will help to combat it.

Exercise is one great place in which to start, because as you move your brain releases endorphins which provide a feel good factor.  Also to set a goal to do something and then to do it provides a sense of accomplishment which again builds self-esteem.  To get out into the countryside also lifts your mood and boosts self-esteem.  Thus a walk in the country provides a doubly beneficial effect.

If you have negative thoughts racing around your mind you need to know how to “bin” them.  You can learn how to sweep them off out of your mind and mentally dispose of them altogether.  Then you can consciously choose to replace them with more positive and comfortable thoughts.  In this way you can learn to protect yourself from those old negatives which have been eating away at your happiness.

In short, negativity can be dealt with and overcome; it can be beaten into submission simply by learning how to use your mind is a slightly different way.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis mp3 downloads for confidence and well-being.

P.S.  Would you like to learn how to deal with negativity?  Grab a free hypnosis mp3 from my website.

http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com

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How Negative Emotions Affect Your Health

May 13, 2010 By 1 Comment

stressed1By Kristin Hutchings

For the sake of your health you want to let go of your negative emotions. The effects negative emotions have on your body are long and depletive – it places a tremendous amount of stress on your system and we all know how dangerous stress can be.

Negative emotions can affect your immune system, making you more prone to colds and ‘flu; it can affect your hormones – which is a particular problem for women, causing an increased likelihood of premenstrual tension and menopausal problems. Negative emotions can also affect your circulatory system, your blood pressure, your digestion (stomach ulcers and indigestion) and it also causes insomnia in a lot of people. Sleep is restorative and essential for our overall well-being, so if you are deprived of sleep you are not going to function very well in your everyday life.

Letting go of negative emotions such as resentment and guilt, worry and anger will benefit your life in so many ways. How do you know if you have unresolved negative emotions which are affecting you physically and mentally? Well, that is simple. If you are constantly imagining someone’s downfall or dreaming about them in some negative way then it is easy to say that you are harbouring negative emotions because of anger or jealousy or both. If you picture your own failures and misfortunes then it suggests that you are worried about your future or feel guilty about wanting success. When these thoughts are multiplied several times a day, you need to do something about it before it begins to cause stress.

Firstly, pay close attention to what your body is trying to tell you. For example, anger often expresses itself in a clenched jaw or fist, dry mouth, shallow breathing, impatience and a raised voice. These outward displays of anger do not stay on the surface. Inside your body, the anger is causing a chemical reaction which results in your blood pressure becoming elevated, your heart pounding faster, and your stomach tightening up. Your brain is likely to be sending a “fight or flight” message to your adrenal glands to release adrenalin throughout your body, which constricts your blood vessels and can potentially trigger a headache, back ache, high blood pressure, and, in the worst case scenario, a heart attack. As you can see, there is very little pay off for holding onto your negative emotions.

The key to letting go is to begin with your thoughts. It is our thoughts that create our emotions and luckily we have full control over what we think, even if it doesn’t always feel like that! If you have negative thoughts, for example an angry thought about someone you dislike, it stands to reason it will create a negative feeling within you. If you replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts the effect is reversed. Positive thoughts make us feel good, they produce positive emotions such as joy, happiness, love and empathy. And these positive emotions have a wonderful, beneficial outcome on our bodies – protecting us from stress and all its bad effects.

Want to learn how to banish your negative thoughts and emotions? Then visit http://www.self-confidence-matters.com/ for all the answers you need to leading a positive and happy life.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristin_Hutchings

http://EzineArticles.com/?How-Negative-Emotions-Affect-Your-Health&id=3834190

Filed Under: Emotional Health, Health, Physical Health Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Ramblings about the Oscars

March 8, 2010 By 1 Comment

oscarLast night was Oscar night and I watched most of it along with millions of other people. Because I had not seen the movies it was not as interesting to me as it generally is. The H1N1 bug kept me away this year. I will see the movies when they are released for rental. At my tender age of – oh, never mind – I didn’t want to risk it.

As usual, the clothes stole the show and, again as usual, we saw everything from the bizarre to the exquisite. It’s always fun to see who’s wearing what and what they’ve done with their hair. Most of the time I’m grateful I don’t have to get squeezed into one of those dresses and have my hair done with an eggbeater. Last night was one of our more elegant showcases and I appreciated it.

The movies themselves revolved primarily around war, domestic abuse and the downhill slide of a country singer. With the exception of Avatar and Precious I will probably not see them. I like things that uplift my spirits – the feel-good stuff – and try not to overdose on negativity. I highly recommend this practice if you want to keep your thoughts and your energy positive since they affect everything you do and are.

It was interesting that a woman won for “best director” after all these years. It isn’t that they are not talented or capable of doing outstanding work – it’s just that they were women. They were’t even considered until recently. They didn’t belong to the “good old boys club” which is waning in clout. I’m certain that there are some who are not at all pleased but that’s their problem. I haven’t seen a “men only” stamp lately on much besides the men’s grill at country clubs (and those are rapidly disappearing). It’s nice to see everyone represented.

What is startling is that it seems so newsworthy that a woman won, that a black woman won, and that an obese, inexperienced black woman, Gabourey Sidibe, was nominated.  Maybe we’re beginning to realize that all human beings have great value and that talent comes in all colors, shapes, sizes, and genders. Gabourey, good for you! You’re a real star!

The stars truly do work hard at their craft and they bring us entertainment that we need in these stressful times – economically, socially and politically. We need to laugh, to forget the daily traumas and to heal from the hurts. I thank them for doing that.

On the other hand I would love to see big awards and rapt attention focused on others who make a difference in our lives. Teachers are number one in my book. Our children are in their hands and some of them do amazing work. Where is their public award?  Oh, it comes now and then and they are rewarded by the accomplishments of their students, but is that enough for some of these remarkable men and women? I don’t think so.

Firefighters and policemen are also on my hero’s list and I would love to see them receive the same kind of recognition that entertainers get.

Nurses are another group dear to my heart. How many are singled out every year for an award for outstanding service?  Any? They work long hours, carry awesome responsibility and are often ignored when credit is handed out.

Sometimes it seems like we put emphasis an all that glitters and forget the people who contribute the most the the betterment of us all on a daily basis. Academy award night is my annual reminder to focus on what is meaningful and valuable.

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