The Internet has changed our lives in many ways. One of those “in your face ways” is on-line dating. We hear commercials for sites like eHarmony and Match.com and if you Google “online dating”  or “Internet dating sites” you will find pages of listings.  There are even sites specifically for different groups such as Seniors. Yes, Seniors want to meet other seniors.  Imagine that.

I belong to that group and I have put my name and picture  on a couple of those sites. It’s fun, exciting, sometimes rewarding, sometimes disappointing and sometimes just plain scary.  It, like many things in life, has its good and its bad sides. You meet some very nice people there and you also meet some not-so-nice people. There are people who are sincerely seeking for a serious, fulfilling relationship and those who are looking to take advantage of one who is emotionally needy. If you’re a senior you know enough about life to know that you find a wide mix of people everywhere you go and it’s no different online. You need to learn to read between the lines, trust your own instincts and proceed with caution. But proceed.

When we are young we seem to have the idea that when people get older their need for romance and love ends. Not true. Just because the face has wrinkles doesn’t mean the fire is out. As we approach the years of fifty and beyond some find themselves divorced after many years of marriage, or alone after the death of  their spouse. Now is the time in their life span that they have time to devote to their own interests but are faced with doing it alone or finding a group somewhere to join so they have companionship of some sort. They don’t always hold someone who’s a “match” and there is a need to look elsewhere. But where?

On line dating is a wonderful alternative. You will encounter the naysayers and the skeptics and you should listen to them. You will hear from those who had a successful experience. Listen to them as well. Then make your own decision. Ask yourself the questions:

• What do I have to lose?
• Do I really want someone else in my life?
• Is it better to be alone than to take the risk?
• Do I trust my own judgment?

Depending on your answers go for it.  Read what Ruth Carter Bourdon says about the risk of loving:

The Risk of Loving

There is a risk involved in everything.
Every time you share a smile,
Every time you shed a tear,
You are opening yourself up to hurt.

Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Sidestepping the things they can’t understand,
Turning away from those who care too much,
Those who care too long,
Those who hold too tightly.

There is never an easy way to love.
You cannot approach it cautiously.
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away.
It is everywhere, it is everything.

Love is the greatest of all risks.
It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic.
It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.
It strikes the strongest of mind.
And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent,
But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be alone.

By Ruth Carter-Bourdon