Self-Improvement | Peace | The Self Improvement Blog

Peace With a Smile and Understanding

May 22, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

Many dreams commence with peace, as do many that wish to end there. But just like happiness, peace is elusive, whether we discuss inner peace, relational peace, or regional peace. Perhaps peace commences in a smile and finds its meaning in understanding:

“Peace begins with a smile.”

~Mother Teresa

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

~Albert Einstein

THE COMMENCEMENT IN A SMILE

A smile is so simple, yet we are apt to completely miss the elegant simplicity implicit in our smiles because we do not give ourselves completely to them. A smile is so solemn. A smile reverberates from our facial muscles through the rest of us.

Inner peace can be trialled in the moment we reach for a smile. When we grasp it we have it. It can be found convincing when we steady our conscious thought to consider the influence our smiles have over even us.

Then, there is the irrefutable power for peace in our smiles as they unfold in the lives of others. Suddenly our smiles are responsible for the achievement of understanding. Barriers are lowered and trust is nurtured. People seeing us enjoy life subliminally wish to enjoy their lives, too.

THE ACHIEVEMENT IN UNDERSTANDING

If we commence being at peace with ourselves through a simple smile, and such an action of love proves contagious in the midst of others, because there is no force in a smile, then understanding can be forged.

Peace is achieved through understanding; both via our understanding ourselves, and accepting our status quo, our conscious and unconscious minds aligned, and by mutual understanding. Understanding is central in the authentic congruence of peace.

By understanding we have reached agreement. And agreement is working in unison for a common cause; whether within ourselves or between parties or nationally or internationally.

***

Peace begins with a smile and it finds its completion in understanding.

We all want peace but we often shirk at the cost, personally or interpersonally, that it will require of us. Such comparatively large cost, however, is transacted never more simply than via surrender.

We all want peace, but how much do we want it?

Is it worth the sacrifice? It is worth the sacrifice.

When we commit to smiling by our demeanour, even when things are tough, and to fight for understanding, when all is confused, we are on the path to peace.

When we can smile when we don’t want to, and choose to understand when we don’t, then we know we want peace. Peace can be a hard thing, but it’s really an easy thing.

� 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

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Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: peace, self improvement, smile, understanding

How To Live A Life Of Joy

July 17, 2011 By Admin 1 Comment

By T Young -

I don’t have digital

I don’t have diddly squat

It’s not having what you want

It’s wanting what you’ve got

– Soak up the Sun, lyrics by Sheryl Crow

Living a life of joy is when you hit your stride; when everything comes together and you stop looking into the future to find happiness and realize that you have happiness right now.

Is that possible? Can we be happy with what we have right now? Isn’t there always something missing that we have yet to achieve or acquire? Of course there is. Up until the moment of death there is always something left to achieve; something else to acquire; some purpose as yet unfulfilled. But that’s not what having a joyful life is about. As Sheryl Crow so wisely sings: “It’s not having what you want. It’s wanting what you’ve got.”

“Wanting what you’ve got.” What does that mean really? It means living every day of your life with the joy and passion of simply being alive. It means celebrating what you have achieved so far and recognizing the strength you’ve shown in getting there. It means being thankful not only for the good things you’ve experienced, but also being thankful for the opportunity to grow and become stronger from experiencing the not so good things as well.

But living a life of joy is not all about you either. It’s about the people who come in and out of your life and how your mere existence on the planet affects them. Your joy and happiness multiplies when you share yourself with others. People use the term “giving back” to describe acts of charity and kindness that others perform. What a wonderful concept. You recognize that you are receiving the abundance that life has to offer, no matter how much or how little of that abundance you happen to be receiving at this very moment, and you choose to invest some of that abundance into the life of others.

A friend of mine owns his own business. Like most self-employed people he works long hours. Yet, he manages to volunteer as much as 50 hours per month for an organization that helps people who have been impacted by disaster.

He tells a story about being called to a house fire on Christmas Eve. The family who rented the house spoke little English and they were very poor. What few presents they had managed to get for each other were destroyed along with all of their belongings.

My friend arranged temporary accommodations for the family. He also contacted someone who owned a store and asked him to donate a few presents to the displaced family.

When my friend knocked on the door of the motel where the family had been placed and handed the wrapped presents out to the children, the mother stood up on her tiptoes, hugged my friend, and said in broken English: “You’re my Christmas angel.”

I’ve seen his eyes well up with tears when he relates this story. Yes, he is living a life of joy. But so is that woman who saw her children’s eyes light up when they received those presents. Because, despite the tragedy she had just endured, she realized “It’s not having what you want. It’s wanting what you’ve got.”

For more personal growth articles visit: http://www.personalgrowthunlimited.com

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: abundance, Happiness, joy, kindness, peace, self improvement

Peaceful Within

June 5, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Gini Grey -

When your heart is full and your mind is empty you find peace. That place of inner stillness where the flow of your life meets the flow of the universe. Where you move through your day in effortless ease. Have you enjoyed any of those days recently?

What stops us from living peaceful lives? Is it the doings of others, the circumstances of life, or is it simply our own resistance to ease and joy? Perhaps it’s our attachment to struggle and effort. Whatever it is, no one can bring us peace except ourselves. We sometimes live our lives as if waiting for someone to capture peace in a jar and give it to us as a present. I can just see someone opening the lid and exclaiming “where did it go, it was here just a second ago.” Peacefulness isn’t something we race after, accomplish or hold on to. It’s a day to day, moment by moment space we choose to be in.

Being peaceful involves living life from a place of love, trust and authenticity. It means letting go of our inner arguments and outer judgments. Ultimately it’s about turning the wheel of control over from our ego to our true self. Are you willing to do that in order to feel peaceful?

Explore these questions to gain more insights into peacefulness:

* When do you feel peaceful? Are you peaceful out in nature, on vacation, with certain people? Reflect over what times and what situations, circumstances and people you have felt peaceful with in the past?

* How do you define peace? What does it feel like physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally? What does your life look like when you are peaceful? Brainstorm a list of ways you can bring more peace into your life.

* What do you let interfere with your sense of peace? What situations, circumstances and people trigger you to shift out of a peaceful state? What about your own inner thoughts, arguments and judgments?

Try these inspiring ideas to have more peace:

* Spend some time out in nature and notice how peaceful it is. Let yourself match that calming energy. Let your thoughts go, your mind still and your body settle into stillness. Bring back a scene from nature in your imagination to reflect on when you need help finding your inner peace.

* Take time each day to sit with your eyes closed, relaxing your body and finding your inner stillness. Let this peacefulness fill your whole body down to the cellular level. Set your intention to bring this with you into your daily activities.

* When you find yourself being triggered or irritated by others, circumstances or your own inner thoughts, ask yourself if you want to feel grumpy or peaceful. If you choose peace, do what you need to in order to reconnect to that state of being.

Gini Grey is a Transformational Coach and author of the book “From Chaos to Calm: How to Shift Unhealthy Stress Patterns and Create Your Ideal Balance in Life” and the CD, “Create What You Want In Your Life”. Gini utilizes a powerful blend of Spiritual Energy Awareness, Co-Active Coaching and Wellness Counselling tools to guide people to connect to their inner truth and bigness, move past blocks and create a life of joy, ease and freedom. For more information, articles or to receive a complimentary monthly e-zine, “Insights & Inspiration”, visit http://www.ginigrey.com

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: ease, effortless, flow, heart, joy, Love, peace, peace within, peaceful, peacefulness, stillness, trust

Never Forget The Great Sacrifice . . .

May 30, 2011 By Admin 1 Comment

Today we remember those who have given their lives to keep us free. Take some time to remember them and what freedom means to you. Do not let them die in vain. Regardless of your political stand, these are the men and women who gave their lives in your behalf. Honor them.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: military, peace, sacrifice, war

The Essence of Happiness

April 11, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Sam Borrett –

All human beings are longing for happiness. Each individual could describe moments of happiness in their own words through different situations, according to their personal perceptions.

Imagine bringing all the descriptions of happiness of all these people together, fusing them in one and through an alchemical process extracting the essence.

What we would find could surprise us. The essence of the happiness is the state of being ‘one’ with oneself, or one with existence to be more poetic. Looking a little deeper into it, the level of happiness of a person is directly related to the degree of totality a person is able to experience the Here and Now.

Whenever your body, mind and soul are functioning together in rhythm it is the beginning of a movement towards real life, and a movement towards a change of a person’s chemistry. The change in body energy and a change in a mindset are more accurately speaking a slowing down of thoughts and a quietening of a noisy mind.

The important thing to remember is that whatever process is being used for the transformation of energy the basic fundamental is, whatsoever the method or meditation, it has to fill this requirement: that the body, mind and consciousness should function in unity.

Generally we have become too civilized as humans with little or no vitality, no energy – and when there is no energy, there is no joy. As we are presently, little energy is left over at the end of the day because we are usually divided in two.

Sam

Sam Borrett
http://mentoring4change.com/
My life has been always about how to integrate the material and the spirit, a bit like Zorba and Buddha. There is a way less travelled and we can find encouragement from others.

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: body, essence, greatness, Happiness, mind, peace

Love, Joy, Peace – The Trifecta for Happiness

December 23, 2010 By Guest Contributor Leave a Comment

By Bruno Deshayes -

You might wonder why people choose instead hatred, sorrow and unrest. What would be the forces at play?

Love here should be defined as unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for the well-being of another (Greek root agape) – not physical pleasure. So “love your neighbour as yourself” brings it all in context. It is the attitude that puts the welfare of others as a priority.

Joy is the fulfilment of being at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. It is not self-centred pleasure seeking – there is a name for that. It’s called hedonism.

Peace is the sense of rest that comes when you are secure in who you are. Obviously you need to have a great sense of self-worth and self-esteem to get there.

Notice than in order to love you neighbor as yourself – you need to love yourself first! And so we go full circle. Could it be that a wrong self-image is the cause of all this dysfunctionality?

We are told that man was created in the image of God. Therefore if the connection with God is lost our self-image goes out the window. Instead we go for pale substitutes which quickly degenerate into hatred, sorrow and unrest.

There you have it. Ever noticed that in the last twenty years since Judeo-Christian values have been systematically removed from western institutions, things are going downhill at an alarming rate?

I guess you don’t appreciate what you take for granted. You only value what cost you effort and resources.

What is true on a corporate level is also true on a personal level. Just like governments are falling asleep at the wheel no longer being able to administer the country – likewise couples are unable to keep their families together and divorce is the looming outcome.

Love, joy and peace are not pie in the sky concepts. They need to be experienced day after day. So where do you start? Take an inventory of your values and prepare to let go of number one, your big self, me, myself and I. it’s only when you start having altruistic motives that put the welfare of others ahead of yours that you release a boomerang effect. God is watching and will reward those who play by His rules. Are you going to play on His team or are you going to do your own thing all your life? Are you going to be re-connected with no other than the creator of the universe or are you going to be your own god?

To find out more about Christian values check out http://witness4christ.net

For more articles like this check out the author’s website at BrunoDeshayes.com

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Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: Happiness, joy, Love, peace, self improvement

10 Simple Ways to Bring Peace to Your Life

October 12, 2010 By Guest Contributor 1 Comment

By K Lowe -

Life is chaotic, at best. We rush, we multi-task, and we try to be all things to all people, often failing to save anything for ourselves. We crave peace – but usually aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve peace, or we take the alternative route and look for ways to find peace that generally only bring more chaos. Here are ten simple ways that you can bring peace to your life…no matter how chaotic your life may be.

1. Realize that you cannot control anything other than yourself in this world. You are the only thing that you have complete control over. When we realize this, and adjust our outlook and our actions accordingly, life becomes much more peaceful. Trying to control other people, or situations that really are beyond our control, only serves to suck away our time and adds to the chaos and frustration of life.

2. Cut some ties – and make new ones. This one isn’t easy, but if you want a peaceful life, it must be done. For most of us, there are one or two people – possibly more – that are in our lives, but bring very little to our lives on an emotional or support level. This isn’t a question of ditching friends who haven’t done anything for you.

It’s not about what they ‘do’ for you. It’s about what they bring to you on the emotional level, and what they take away from you on the energy level. It’s about ‘friends’ who live their lives on the basis of ‘it’s all about me.’ It’s about friends who constantly have drama in their lives (usually imagined), and who proceed to suck the life right out of you by bringing their drama to your door – and then, in the end, really don’t do anything for you on the emotional level (they aren’t there for you when you need them, every conversation is about them, they don’t have anything of real value to offer the friendship).

Cutting people out of your life is very hard. In some instances, you won’t be able to cut them completely out, but you can limit their access to your time – which you are in complete control of. You can replace those people with others who actually do bring something of value to the relationship, and to your life – and you will be amazed at the difference this makes in your energy level, your peace of mind, your happiness, and to your life in general.

3. Reduce the clutter in your life. Clutter does not represent peace. This doesn’t mean that you have to give away all of your worldly goods. It means that you need to clean and organize the closets, drawers, shelves, and other nooks and crannies in your home and office. As you organize, get rid of anything that you don’t use, don’t need, and can easily live without. Donate items to charity, hold a yard sale, throw it in the trash…just get rid of the junk that you don’t need.

4. Clear the air. If you’ve had any disagreements in any of your personal relationships, and you are still smarting from them, clear the air. Go talk to that person. Let them know how you feel. Apologize and ask for forgiveness if this is needed. Request an apology and forgive if that is what is needed. Lay your cards – and feelings – on the table. If the relationship is worth saving, you will work it out. Otherwise, it is causing discord in your life – even if that discord is only in your mind – and you might need to cut ties.

5. Re-evaluate your budget and finances. Money makes everything very complicated, and does little to garner peace. It has been said that money cannot buy happiness, but that isn’t necessarily true. Are you going to be happy if you can’t pay the mortgage, and you have to live on the street? No. Are you going to be happy if you can’t afford a college education for your kids? No. Are you going to be happy if you can’t pay the power bill, retire, take your annual vacation, or purchase new clothing for your kids? No, no, no and no.

Money buys security, and security plays a big part in our overall happiness. Cut down on unnecessary expenditures. Save more money. Look for a better paying job. Make adjustments to your investments. Simply make sure that you have the financial security that you require.

6. Forgive yourself. Think about past mistakes that you have made. Reflect on them for a bit. Be clear about where you went wrong. Forgive yourself, and promptly remove it from your mind. We do learn from our mistakes, and we take those lessons into the future. It doesn’t mean that we have to dwell on those mistakes and constantly beat ourselves up for them. We are all human, and even the smartest and brightest have made their fair share of mistakes. You are not alone. Forgive yourself and move forward.

7. Turn off the news. Obviously, you do need to keep up with what is going on in the world. Most of us don’t have to do it on an hourly basis, or even a daily basis. Use the Internet and services such as Google to have news delivered to your email inbox. Make it a point to only read those news stories once or twice a week – and never in the evening hours, when you are trying to unwind from your day. The world is a scary place, and the news reminds us of that each minute of each day. This doesn’t contribute to a peaceful life.

8. Take the time to make a schedule for your week, each week. Stick to that schedule as closely as possible, but also understand that plans sometimes must change. Make a note of free time and instantly schedule in some ‘you time’ or something fun, instead of waiting for other people to fill that time for you. Set priorities to the items on your schedule. Make detailed notes that you will understand. Plan, but don’t over plan. When something new comes up, put it on the following week’s schedule, instead of rearranging this week’s schedule. Learn to say ‘no’ and ‘I can’t do that this week, sorry.’

9. Limit the technology in your life. Technology does not bring peace. The computer looks innocent enough – but you have the entire world at your fingertips right inside of that little box. This is overwhelming when you actually think about it. Learn to turn the box off, turn the television off, turn the cell phone off, and simply get out and enjoy the world up close and personal.

10. Take time out for yourself. Most people really fail to see the importance of this. When we take time to simply be by ourselves, without doing anything else to occupy our minds, we are able to reflect, dream, and simply relax. This brings the ultimate peace.

In the grand scheme of things, life can only be as complicated as you want it to be. It all comes down to what you accept for yourself, how you view the rest of the world, and the actions that you take. You can create peace in your life, no matter how chaotic it is.

Kelly Lowe offers more tips and information on Simplifying Your Life [http://letmetellyouwhat.com/2008/06/chaos-and-simplicity-do-not-mix/] On her site, Let Me Tell You What [http://www.letmetellyouwhat.com], you can learn more about simplifying your life, bringing peace into your life, dealing with day to day problems, and learning to be happy and healthy in general.

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: anxiety, chaos, control, Happiness, peace, problems, simplify, stress management, time management

Making Tough Decisions

August 9, 2010 By ireneconlan 3 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

I was recently faced with a very tough decision that affected not only myself but someone else. A “no” would be good for me but not for the other person. A “yes” might be good for me but, then again, in the long run might not. It would possibly be good for the other person. I couldn’t see it clearly and wrestled with it. I spent time in meditation and I tried to look at it from all sides. I realized I was operating from “ought to” and “should” and was feeling guilty for potentially letting someone down. A decision based on guilt is often not the best decision for anyone. So I tried to take guilt out of the equation and look at it again.

Then I asked the simple question: “Is this for my best and highest good?” The clear answer was “no.” I asked the next question “Is this for the other’s best and highest good?” and the answer wasn’t so clear. It was, “I don’t know.”

What I do know is that I am the only one who can make decisions for me. I have to be an advocate for me because I am responsible for the decisions I make and the actions I take. No one else is or can be. Nor am I responsible for anyone else’s decisions and actions.

The dilemma for me involves the decision that seems to be a choice between selfishness and compassion. When is it o.k. to take care of me first? When is it all right to say, “I just can’t do that right now” ? When is it o.k. to say “no?”

It is not an easy question. There is not an easy answer.

In the Dalai Lama’s Book of Wisdom, he states:

“If you think only of yourself, if you forget the rights and well-being of others, or, worse still, if you exploit others, ultimately you will lose. You will have no friends who will show concern for your well-being. Moreover, if a tragedy befalls you, instead of feeling concerned, others might even secretly rejoice.

By contrast, if an individual is compassionate and altruistic, and has the interests of others in mind, then irrespective of whether that person knows a lot of people, wherever that person moves, he or she will immediately make friends. And when that person faces a tragedy, there will be plenty of people who will come to help.”

We all have to make troubling decisions now and then – decisions that are complex and involve others – decisions that involve the heart as well as the head. Sometimes “no” is the more compassionate answer.

I have peace knowing that I looked at all sides. I know I was making the best possible decision I know to make at this time with the awareness I have right now. If the situation changes and/or my awareness changes I can make another decision.

Life is filled with choices, decisions, uncertainties, and no guarantees. The best we can do sometimes feels like it is not enough. Looking at “the big picture” I know that I have an attitude of compassion for others and at times the decision has to be made to take care of me, too. Peace lets me know it was a good decision.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: best and highest good, decision making, meditation, peace, self improvement, tough decisions

Two Points of View on Forgiveness

July 29, 2010 By ireneconlan 1 Comment

By Irene Conlan -

You have most likely heard the saying “To err is human; to forgive is divine” (Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism, 1711). That’s a good way of saying forgiveness is not easy. But we know that, don’t we?. One of the things critical to people who want to do serious self improvement/self esteem work is forgive those who have wronged them (or whom they believe have wronged them). Many people just can’t do that because they think that somehow it lets the person “off the hook” and condones the “evil deed” they did. It doesn’t have to be that way. It all depends on how you view forgiveness and who is in control – you or the offender.

There are several points of view on forgiveness and I’d like to share two of them with you – that of Dr. Laura Schlessinger and that of Dr. Fred Luskin. Why? Because they are so vastly different in their approach and it gives you a choice in how you want to deal with forgiveness.

Dr. Laura says on You Tube (and I’m sure she says it in her writings) that four things should be present for you to forgive another person and she calls them the four Rs. They are:

Responsibility. The offender should take responsibility for what they have dome.
Remorse. They should show some degree of remorse for what they did to hurt you
Repair. They would like to make it up to you or somehow “fix” it.
Repetition. They are taking steps never, ever to do it again.

The problem with this approach is that it gives the offender control.It may leave you carrying the anger and hurt for a very long time if the responsibility for forgiveness lies with the offender and the offender refuses to deal with it or is indifferent. What if they never show remorse? How do you know if the remorse is real? How do you know they are sincere when they say they won’t do it again? The person who offended you is in a position of power and you become the victim.

On the other hand, Dr. Fred Luskin, states that forgiveness is a choice – your choice. In his book, Forgive for Good, he states there are three pre-conditions that must be met before you forgive. These are:

Know what your feelings are about what happened.
Be clear about the action that wronged you
Share your experience with at least one or two trusted people.

Luskin states, “Forgiveness is the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel, and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell. Forgiveness is the experience of peacefulness in the present moment. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes the present. Forgiveness means that even though you are wounded you choose to hurt and suffer less. Forgiveness means you become a part of the solution. Forgiveness is the understanding that hurt is a normal part of life. Forgiveness is for you and no one else. You can forgive and rejoin a relationship or you can forgive and never speak to the person again”

This view of forgiveness takes you out of victim hood and puts you in a position of power. It gives you the freedom to chose whether you want to reconcile once the forgiveness is done and does not leave you with anger, hatred or grudges.It stops the blame game and restores you to peace.

It’s up to you. I choose peace.

References: Luskin, Dr. Fred, Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and happiness. Harper-Collins Publishers, Inc. NY, 2002 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFZ-2VCydq8

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Forgiveness, healing the hurts, peace, peaceful life, self improvement

The key to a peaceful life – forgiveness

July 17, 2010 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

You were married to him for twenty five years and stayed through some pretty bad times, raised the children almost singe-handedly so he could pursue his career, and then, when life was beginning to balance out and you could see the good times ahead, he filed for divorce because he was in love with his very young secretary. You didn’t see it coming and you were devestated. There are no answers to the “why?” and your wounds are deep and raw.

You and your best friend went into business together and the business began to thrive. After a few years it seemed that even though things seemed to be going better than ever, the cash flow told a different story. You discovered he had been stealing from the company almost from the beginning to pay for a gambling habit. You had invested your life’s savings and were left with the company’s debt when he walked away. You are immersed in legal battles that seem endless and you are left feeling empty, angry and deceived.

You met this wonderful woman. She seemed to be everything you were looking for in a mate and you were absolutely crazy about her. But just when you thought it was time to take the relationship to the next level she announced that she had a problem with you and the relationship was over. No explanation. No discussion. No “I’m sorry.” She was gone and you were left feeling hurt and bewildered.

These are hypothetical situations but are not uncommon. They represent events that leave us feeling betrayed and feeling all those emotions that accompany betrayal – feeling angry, sad, misled, unloved, humiliated, confused, violated, cheated, etc. After a while you get on with your life but the pain is always just under the surface. It’s hard for you to trust anyone else and you question your own judgment about relationships – business or romantic.

So what can you do about it?

Forgive.

I know you’re thinking, “I can’t EVER forgive him/her. What he/she did is unforgivable and I won’t sanction that behavior with forgiveness.”

You are right. The behavior was despicable and YOU are the one carrying the pain. The forgiveness is for you, not for them.Forgiveness will return you to a state of peace and well-being. They still have to deal with what they have done. You will be free of it.

According to Dr. Fred Luskin in his book Forgive for Good: A PROVEN Prescription for Health and Happiness, “If you learn to forgive you will find your life to have possibilities you could only dream of. You will gain a sense of control over your feelings and discover that you have more energy available to make good decisions. You will find that your decisions are based less on hurt feelings and more on what is best for you and those you love.”

Forgiveness is a choice. Period. It is a choice you make that enables you to have peace in your life. Forgiveness is “the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel, and become a hero instead of a victim in the story you tell.”

To prepare to forgive, Luskin says there are three preparatory steps:

Know what your feeling are about what happened. Identify and name them
Be clear about the action that wronged you
Share your experience with at least one or two trusted people. This helps you cope and clarifies what happened to you.

You have made the decision to let it go. The next step is to heal your feelings about what happened and that begins with a generalized looking for the good and beautiful in life. Refocus your thoughts from your story of hurt to what is positive in your life. Practice being grateful and appreciative. This will gradually lead you replace those feelings of hurt and betrayal with feelings of well being.

Luskin gives you several techniques that help you heal from the painful memories of what happened to you. But it starts with the decision to let go of it so you can heal and return to peace. It is furthered by taking responsibility for your own thoughts and changing them from the anger and hate of un-forgiveness to focus on the positive and the beautiful that surrounds you.

The choice is yours. You can continue to let the wound fester until you are consumed by it or you can make a decision to forgive and allow yourself to find peace. Only you can choose to do this for yourself. Aren’t you worth it?

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: Forgiveness, healing the hurts, peace, peaceful life, self improvement

Peace With a Smile and Understanding

How To Live A Life Of Joy

Peaceful Within

Never Forget The Great Sacrifice . . .

The Essence of Happiness

Love, Joy, Peace – The Trifecta for Happiness

10 Simple Ways to Bring Peace to Your Life

Making Tough Decisions

Two Points of View on Forgiveness

The key to a peaceful life – forgiveness

Brain Magic

News and Other New Stuff

Listen to Yvonne Perry’s interview with Gaetano Vivo today at 2:55 CDT

Someone You Should Know

Book Reviews

A Review: Lipstick and The Leash: A Woman’s Guide to Getting What You Want from Your Dog & Your Life.

The Oneness Gospel: Birthing the Christ Consciousness and Divine Human in You. A Review

Irene’s Articles

Cleaning out the clutter

Let’s put “Self” Back in Self Improvement