Two Easy Steps to Instant Happiness

a1By Don Westacott –

The world as you see it is a reflection of your internal world which is ‘your mind’. Just as the state of our bodies is the result over time of what we eat and drink, our view of the world is the result of the way we think about our environment and the events in it, which can be good or bad, positive or negative. Both are controlled by the law of Cause and Effect. We are ‘What we think we are’.  Our thoughts give power to our feelings. If we have bad thoughts we get bad feelings if we have good thoughts we get good feelings, if we want to feel good we have to think good, or find the positive in each situation.

In order to change our life and become happy we have to change our thoughts. How can we do this?

1)    You have to see the connection between what you think about and what happens in your life. If you have not yet discovered this for yourself, the way to find it is through observation of the way your thoughts give rise to your feelings. The fastest way to do this is to sit quietly for a while and carry out the following exercise.

First think about an event that you thoroughly enjoyed. Focus you mind on all the details that you enjoyed, then switch quickly to observing how you feel now in that moment and you will notice that  the memory is making you feel good or positive.

2)    Now think about an event that you did not enjoy or even worse hated. Focus your thoughts on all the details that you did not like, then switch quickly to how you feel at this moment. You will find that the memory is making you feel bad or negative.

This is such a simple exercise you may think it’s so obvious as not to be important but that would be to miss the point, which is that this is a great discovery!

You have just learned that

1) You can control your thoughts, you switched from good thoughts to bad thoughts quite effortlessly.
2) Your thoughts (your mind) changed your feelings from one moment to the next.
3) This proves you can control your thoughts which gives you power to control your feelings about, or in, any situation.

If this is a fact and you have just proved it for yourself, think of the implications this can have for your future life.

Life is a succession of moments. All life is in the ‘Present Moment’ that’s  why it is called ‘a present’. There is no life in your past moments and you have no guarantee of life in future moments.

If you can change how you feel in any given moment, why would you choose to be miserable?

Now that you have the power to change your feelings, it makes sense to strengthen your power by practicing a little every day,  by observing the things in your life that give you bad feelings.

It is obvious that you cannot change all the bad situations you encounter in your daily life but some you can, so change them. The others you can’t change, so change your feelings about them ‘in the moment’. Now you can control your happiness in the moment. A succession of happy moments makes for a happy day. A succession of happy days makes for a happy life. The more you practice this simple exercise the happier your life will become.

Don has over 35 years experience in sales and sales-management in the advertising and Insurance industries. He is a highly successful and motivated entrepreneur involved in coaching salespeople through articles, talks and his website. Email  [mailto:DonWestacott@aol.com]DonWestacott@aol.com for a free copy of “The 7 steps to a happy and healthy life.”

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Finding Balance in Your Life

scales2By Debbie Bauer -

Have you seen the movie Bucket List? It is pretty inspiring. It’s about a couple of guys who decide to finally do the things they’ve always wanted to do in their lifetime. Lately I’ve been meeting too many people immobilized by what ifs and simply thinking too much. I am aware of the hard times many of us find ourselves facing with this depressed economy, however, I also believe some of us have created a black and white situation – meaning we see ourselves as either finding success or doomed to failure. Not necessarily an accurate perception.

Our minds have great power and can easily run away with our thoughts to the “what ifs” and negatives. I propose that there is a balance that each of us can find in our own mind. What we humans tend to do is panic and overcompensate – when we find ourselves in a stressful situation we hold on for dear life. I would like to suggest alternatives that might relieve some of that anxiety and stress.

First of all, I encourage you to reach for the stars – AND to keep your feet on the ground. That being said – balance is the key. Do your homework, check things out, then go for your “Bucket List” – take a risk. Don’t let fear immobilize you and keep you from taking those risks you’ve only dreamt about. If a storm hits – hold on gently – ride it out. If we hold on tightly – insistent and adamant – we only create greater stress – not resolution. Life is about speed bumps – hurdles – and amazingly enough they actually allow us to have a greater appreciation of our successes and triumphs!

So I offer you a few strategies when (and before!) the chaos of life slams up against your window:

  • Picture your mind as an “empty vessel” – let those negative thoughts flow through – do not try to stop them because they will only become more insistent. Acknowledge each thought – “yup, there you are” – then let it flow in and out.
  • Try keeping a gratitude journal – simply jot down the things in your life you are grateful for: your garden growing, being able to sleep in an extra 15 minutes, seeing a sunset – whatever – the simple things.
  • Most importantly – before you go to sleep each night – reflect on at least 3 good things in your life that happened that day. These can be as simple as not having to wait in line at the grocery store – to – your neighbor smiling or waving at you today.

It seems as humans we tend to focus on things that go wrong in our lives – the setbacks. That is often a natural reaction so be OK with that – and then – use the strategies suggested here to help yourself out of that slump. Breathe – acknowledge the situation – then step back and assess: is this actually going to trigger the end of my life? 99% of the time the answer will be NO. That is your reality check.

So in closing let me again encourage you to reach for your stars and remind you that in the midst of a crisis or hard time, it is best to take a deep breath and hold on gently. I wish you well and invite you to phone or email me should you or someone you know need some help getting over one of life’s hurdles.

I help people through difficult times in their lives. I help you shift from where you are – to a more manageable and enjoyable life – through the support of counseling sessions that access your strengths and resources. Visit my website for more information on how I can help you and your family. Phone or email me today for your free initial phone consultation.

Debbie Bauer, LMFT @ http://www.debbiebauer.com

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