Ed Jacobson has graciously sent us three chapters from his book,  Appreciative Moments. The chapters are on “Savoring” and we will post one today and one each on the next two Sundays. I find them not only delightful but also very helpful.  When you do his Practices and Mindfulness exercises, you have this lovely “I feel good” sense for most of your day. At least that is true for me and I hope it is true for you as well.  You can get the book from Amazon.com (you can even order it right here by clicking on my bookstore – it is the first book listed).  If you would like an autographed copy you can order it from ed@edwardjacobson.com.

Enjoy – or should I say savor – these chapters on “Savoring.”

Thanks Ed for sharing them with my readers.

The chapter in its entirety is below.

Chapter 14:

The Art of Savoring

(From Appreciative Moments: Stories and Practices for Living and Working Appreciatively, ©2008 Edward Jacobson, Ph.D. Used with permission of author.)

I’ve been musing lately about savoring. It’s such a delicious topic that I’ve been finding it, well, savory. I want to share some thoughts about it, explore why we should bother to savor, and encourage you to cultivate this appreciative art. In the next two chapters, I’ll have more to say about this delicious topic.

Savoring is defined as the awareness of pleasure, and the devoting of deliberateattention to that experience. You can savor positive experiences before they happen (anticipation), while they’re happening (real-time savoring), and after they happen (reminiscence). Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff, psychologists at Loyola University of Chicago, describe four types of savoring:

Basking: receiving praise and congratulations from others

Thanksgiving: expressing gratitude for blessings

Marveling: losing the self in the wonder of the moment

Luxuriating: indulging the senses

My experience in writing the columns upon which this book is based has taught me a lot about these four flavors of savoring.

• Each week, I have received unsolicited words of praise and thanks from quite a few readers, for benefits and blessings that they found in these writings. I loved receiving and reading those words of thanks. In fact, I’ve basked in them. Call me self-centered if you like. But call me often.

• I’ve always felt enriched and honored by readers’ responses. They’ve always been a blessing for me, and I have gathered them in with grateful thanksgiving. I try to convey my thanks to all who respond. Readers’ responses have emboldened me to continue, expand, and deepen the whole venture, and to make this book. So, a big Thank You!

• Sometimes the responses have come in so fast, and were so moving, that I simply stop to marvel at what I seem to have set in motion. It’s bigger than I am, and I see myself as a vehicle for transmitting these words and thoughts, from wherever they emanate. As Jack Kornfield, the Buddhist teacher and psychologist, says about the mysterious source of his own writings and those of other spiritual teachers, “Clearly, we’re all just taking dictation.” And that zany madman Mel Brooks once did a routine in which he portrayed a wildly popular singer named Fabiola. Asked by Carl Reiner to explain the source of his popularity, Fabiola said, “We are all singing. I have the mouth.” I have often felt that way about the columns, and I loved the call-andresponse quality to this ongoing conversation with readers.

• The more eloquent responses, such as the one about getting invited up to the farm, (which appears in chapter 18) were so richly detailed that I was transported into luxuriating, as though I were actually there with the email writer. As you may find when you read his letter about wanting to be invited up to the farm, it’s a glorious experience.

A sad and perplexing note: I have noticed that some people are Basking-impaired. In my coaching, consulting, presentations, and workshops, I sometimes encounter folks who are unable to acknowledge positive feedback without visibly writhing, or who can’t brag about themselves and their accomplishments. (The great actor Jimmy Stewart was the epitome of the strong, silent, awkward man who would dig a hole in the dirt with the toe of his cowboy boot and say “Shucks, Ma’am, ‘tweren’t nuthin.”) Invariably, I have found these people to be prodigiously talented, highly accomplished, and very effective in their work lives. Their Basking Impairment goes well beyond simply being well-mannered. I don’t think I could pay them enough to get them to be the center of attention and appreciation. They’d sooner curl up and die. Sad, isn’t it? These are wonderful people who contribute so much to the rest of us, yet they remain impoverished in the vital area of self-appreciation.

Some regard savoring as a self-indulgent practice, reserved for Baby Boomers as we enter our otherwise-declining years. Perhaps you worry that there’s something vaguely narcissistic about how much you enjoy savoring food, praise, sex, or the Universe as a whole. If so, perhaps you can take comfort in the words of a monk who once told me, “Everything in moderation, Ed, including moderation.”

If you need a business case for savoring, in order to justify it for yourself or others, consider this: Savoring is a positive emotional experience, and positive emotions have been scientifically been shown to produce many important outcomes for persons and organizations: For example, they:

• enhance individual, interpersonal, and group mood (or climate), leading to more productive interactions and outcomes;

• deepen interpersonal and group relationships;
• expand the number of ideas and actions for consideration;

• increase creativity and problem-solving

• strengthen resilience (the ability to absorb multiple changes, and to bounce back and learn from adversity).

In short, savoring isn’t simply narcissism, and it isn’t just stuff you do before you get to the real agenda. Cultivating savoring is a highly effective business (and personal) strategy for getting so-called real work done. That is reason enough to be intentional about: (a) beginning meetings with an appreciative question; (b) inquiring into each others’ stories of highest and best moments; (c) extending gratitude to others (and to ourselves); and (d) performing other appreciative practices that promote savoring. To put it in boldly capitalist terms, savoring is a Highly Leveraged Investment! My advice to you is this: Savor often and with zest, and reap a high R.O.S. (Return on Savoring).

Remember, everything in moderation … including moderation. Here are several questions to ponder, and to help you along the path of savoring: Are you investing enough time in slowing down and smelling the roses, the coffee, the many and varied fragrances of life? When are you best at basking, thanksgiving, marveling, luxuriating? When do these seem like unaffordable frivolities? Note that these latter times are your greatest opportunities to turn the corner on your habits of savoring. Make the most of these opportunities. Practice Random Acts of Intentional Savoring, and see what happens.

PRACTICE

This week, take time to slow down and savor the tastes, smells, textures, sounds, and feelings of your life.

• Spend the first two days getting a baseline. Just be like a camera, taking in the landscape of savoring. Notice when you are taking time to bask, to give thanks to marvel in the wonder of the moment and to indulgently luxuriate in a sense pleasure. Simply pay attention to the variety of ways in which you savor your life. Also pay attention to when you pass up savory opportunities coming your way. These two days, just notice. Don’t strive to change a thing.

• The rest of the week, each you become aware of an opportunity, practice a moment of savoring. As often as feasible, allow yourself that moment of basking, thanksgiving, marveling, or luxuriating. Notice how these various savory moments feel, and how they influence your day.

Mindfulness Tip 1: Be gentle and kind with yourself when you let savoring opportunities pass you by. You’ll learn something as valuable from these missed occasions as from the savory occasions you allow yourself. Simply ask yourself, “What can I do to take advantage of these opportunities? How can I savor the very next opportunity that comes my way?”

Mindfulness Tip 2: Practice savoring in the same manner that native-born Chicagoans used to instruct me on how to vote when I lived there: Early and Often