Self-Improvement | Self Awareness | The Self Improvement Blog

Let’s put “Self” Back in Self Improvement

April 16, 2012 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

You’ve done everything you know to do. You’ve lost that extra 30 pounds that kept you from your “perfect size.” You spent your last bit of savings getting a makeover – new hairdo/haircut, new wardrobe, ripped abs, teeth whitened. You look good and you know you look good. You’ve studied successful people and do your best to emulate their walk, the way they speak, how they react to others. You should feel good about yourself but, surprisingly, you don’t.

You look in the mirror and the image that looks back at you is a facade – a fake. A phony. At least that’s what you think. The false smile covers up the emptiness you feel inside and it masks the pain that seems always to be there. No matter how great you look you still don’t feel “good enough.”

“Why can’t I be like everyone else?” the voice inside your head asks.

The answer might surprise you. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you have become just like everyone around you when, in fact, you are a unique, remarkable one-or-a-kind human being.

We are bombarded by the media to look a certain way, talk a certain way, believe a certain way. But, think of this (and I know you know this already), there are over 7 billion people on the planet and no two are alike. We aren’t supposed to be alike. So why don’t you stop trying to be like someone else and discover you own uniqueness? It comes down to the questions:

Who are you?
Why are you here?
What do you want?

Real, lasting self improvement involves answering these questions and getting to know who you really are. It involves self awareness, self acceptance, and self love. Answering these questions will bring you worlds of information about yourself and it will open up more questions. It is an exciting adventure and you are the only one who can do it. No one can do it for you.

The perfect starting place for this “inner work” is to learn to sit quietly. Simply be with yourself. Pay attention to your thoughts and the way your body feels. Relax by taking a few deep breaths and consciously releasing any muscle tension you notice. Then, relaxed and quiet, ask yourself the questions. Don’t be surprised at the answers to “Who am I” that come into your mind. Write them down. Each time you ask, let your mind explore further. Pay attention to the information you receive either at the time or as you proceed through your day.

Pay attention. Become a student of you. Why do you react to things the way you do? For example, how do you react when someone tells you “no?” Why do you react that way? How do you react when you’re cut off in traffic? Why? How do you react to something beautiful? What touches your soul and brings tears to your eyes with its beauty? What do you like? What do you dislike? Why? What things do you react to in ways that you saw your parents react when you were a child? For example, you see someone dressed a certain way and you immediately decide you don’t like them. What are your broad generalizations about people? I heard a little boy make the declaration, “All girls are slow!” He was seven years old. How did he come to believe that? Will he learn better? What “old programs” do you still have running?

Monitor your thinking. Are your thoughts about yourself predominantly positive or negative? When you make a mistake do you say “I can and will do it better next time” or do you berate yourself with phrases like “You don’t do anything right. How can you be so stupid?” Begin to change your thinking to more and more positive. Yes, even Pollyanna-ish. Your thoughts are the powerful creators of everything in your life. If you pay attention you might be surprised about where your thoughts take you and what they are creating for you that you aren’t aware of.

What do you believe? Have you examined your own beliefs about the important things in life? What do you believe that you weren’t told you HAD to believe about God, politics and government, sex, marriage, family, work, play, human potential? Have you thought them through?

This is by no means an end of the self discovery process but it will give you a good starting place.

Self improvement is most definitely an inside job and going within is as simple as getting quiet and relaxed and allowing yourself to as honestly as you can, answer the questions. As you know more about who you are and what your truly want, you will begin to notice small but significant changes taking place within you and the person in the mirror will begin to smile back in approval.

Filed Under: Featured, Irene's Articles Tagged With: self acceptance, self awareness, self discovery, self improvemen

What Is Self Awareness?

April 1, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Anita Narayan -

Self awareness is an essential skill when it comes to personal growth and success.

In fact it is like a foundation stone out of which a lot of things build. Self awareness is so important that it can often be the difference between reaction and response, constraint and problem solving, creativity and rigidity to name but a few.

Whether you are looking to learn more about your mind, heart and emotions, your capacity for self awareness will increase your understanding and your ability to translate that understanding to your life in an effective way.

So what is self awareness? Simply put it is the act and process of observing yourself, and how you interact with your environment, including situations and other people.

It involves noticing and acknowledging how things impact you and vice versa. In other words it is an interactive, two way process of noticing influence and impact.

How To Increase Self Awareness

The simple way to increase self awareness is firstly to direct your attention to yourself in a chosen situation. It can be any situation of your choosing, for example sitting alone in silence. Secondly notice your emotions, your thoughts, your spirit and your physical experience.

In the example above [sitting alone in silence] you may experience physical restlessness, mind chatter, tension and general discomfort. It may happen immediately or after 5 minutes.

You may then want to choose an opposite scenario [sitting in a noisy environment] for sheer contrast and to gauge the scope of your experience.

You can increase self awareness through direct experience, or from a certain level of knowledge acquired in theory. In essence it is about the process of increasing your perception and knowledge of yourself.

This leads nicely onto the consideration of what makes for effective self-awareness. There are three key areas to consider.

1. Perception

Perception is an integral part of the process of self awareness and by definition it is about a view point rather than a fact.

The way to increase perception and become more perceptive is to view yourself from as many different angles as possible, and notice the subtle nuances that go to make you who you are.

One way to increase the different angles from which you view yourself is through the use of different and incisive questions.

For example ‘when I am at my most stressful state how does it manifest?’ and ‘what conditions cause me to feel highly stressed?’ ‘What enables me to feel in control?’

2. Accurate Reflection

There is a difference between these two statements:-

‘I am depressed’ and ‘I feel depressed’. In the first statement the person is equating themselves to depression. In effect they are saying that they personify depression.

In the second statement the person is describing the emotion they are feeling as opposed to identifying with the state.

The first statement is a judgemental statement and an inaccurate statement if what the person is really trying to do is describe their feeling, rather than saying who they are.

3. Application of Self Knowledge

Self awareness is ultimately about self knowledge, but self knowledge is not enough if you do nothing with it. Applied knowledge is what makes a difference to your life.

In that the perceptual process is about a view point, it does not necessarily represent truth and fact. Therefore it is important when observing and noticing yourself, that you do so without judgement.

Judgement by its nature tends to suppress any resourcefulness. Without resourcefulness self awareness loses its purpose.

Meditation is a process that is both effective in increasing self-awareness and resourcefulness. This is a potent combination because self awareness on its own is without effect unless it translates into growth and effects change.

There are two aspects to meditation that help this to happen. Firstly the direction of attention to self as described above.

The second stage goes beyond that focussed awareness, to finding the space between the observations, thoughts and feelings, referred to as going into the emptiness. The act of creating internal space via letting go, rather than dwelling on our observations, is what creates resourcefulness and new solutions.

The concept is akin to having a clear out or a declutter of stuff you have accrued over a period of time that you no longer have need of. The idea is that when you create space, by letting go of old stuff, new things can enter that space.

Ultimately the increase of self knowledge leads to more possibilities and choices for your life that you will not perceive otherwise, unless you engage with the process.

So whether through meditation or other practice, make self awareness an essential part of your personal development.

Anita Narayan is a highly endorsed author, speaker and coach. She is soon to release her book Breaking Free From The Prison Of Survival which has received top industry endorsement http://www.mypersonalbestcoaching.com

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: self improvement, self acceptance, self awareness, Self Esteem

What Do You Think? (Or Go Within For Your Answers)

February 8, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Elise Fee

How often in life do we turn to a friend and ask them, “What do you think?” And then if they tell us something we don’t want to hear, we generally disregard their advice. So what is the point?

It seems pretty clear that we already knew the answer before we solicited input from others, so why bother asking? The answer is because you haven’t yet learned to trust your own knowing.

Once you really trust (not just sorta trust, but REALLY trust) your own internal GPS (your inner voice, your knowing), then you will no longer feel the need to ask others their opinions. For you will already know what is the best course of action for you.

As John Steinbeck said, “No one wants advice – only corroboration.” And Cicero said, “Nobody can give you wiser advise than yourself.” These are wise words from wise men.

Try this simple exercise the next time you think you want someone else’s advice. Pretend you are going to ask someone their opinion. But instead of actually asking them, state the question aloud to yourself. Think about what answers the other person might have given you, and then see how you feel in response to each answer.

Those answers you don’t like, you now know aren’t in alignment with your own knowing. Those answers that seem to “fit” (and that are pleasing to you) are pointing you in the direction of what you already knew, but weren’t quite able to define.

After you do this a few times with various topics, you’ll get to the place where you don’t need the exercise at all. You’ll come to a place of surety about what you know, of being more clear about what is right for you and what direction to take.

As Erica Jong said, “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn’t.”

Begin to trust in yourself – somewhere inside you do know the answers that are right for you. And in all honesty, only you know them. All that others can do is project their own perspective onto you, and do their best to help you. But you actually know yourself and what’s best for you.

As you practice trusting your own knowing, it will grow stronger and more powerful, just like a muscle that’s been exercised regularly. And it will continue to get easier and easier to really KNOW what you know, to be clear, to be sure, and to be able to hear your internal GPS.

And one day you’ll realize that you don’t really need anyone else’s input – for you can reliably follow your inner knowing. This is typically what people mean when they say, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.” It’s not that others’ opinions aren’t valuable bits of wisdom, it’s just that this person KNOWS what is right for him/her and doesn’t want or need outside advice.

So the next time you need to make a decision in your life, turn to yourself and ask, “What do YOU think?”

Elise Fee is a Consulting Hypnotist and Life Mentor – her business “EliseOnLife” helps clients get a new lease on life — http://www.EliseOnLife.com. Elise works with clients via private consultations, either in person or over the phone.

With a diverse background in business, marketing and teaching, Elise’s many varied life experiences have taught her broader, more expansive ways to view and experience the world and humanity.

She writes a daily blog sharing her perspectives on life and humanity, and provides readers with practical, easy techniques they can use to begin living their best life. Subscribe to her free blog today: http://www.EliseOnLife.com

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Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: go within, meditation, self improvement, self awareness, what do you think

Who Is The Person in The Mirror?

January 11, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Jim Petruzzi –

When my children were at an age where they could understand analogies I used “the person in the mirror.” In trying to explain to them various virtues such as honesty, integrity, effort and many others I used “the person in the mirror.”

I explained to them that when they looked in the mirror the person looking back at them would always be 100% truthful. If I asked them a question and I thought they might not be telling me the truth, I would ask them “what would the person in the mirror say?” The look on their face would tell me before they even answered.

When they began playing team sports I always preached to them, that they should always give 100% effort. If their team lost a game and they were feeling bad, I would ask them if the person in the mirror thought they played with 100% effort. I would tell them if the answer was yes, then I was proud of them and they should be proud of the way they played. I also told them that if the answer was no, then they should think about why and what they could do to make sure they gave 100% the next time they played. This philosophy carried them both through their college playing years. I credit this philosophy as a major reason why they each excelled both academically and athletically.

When they entered the working world I told them that if they gave the same effort and asked “the person in the mirror” the same questions they did during their youth, they would succeed in their careers. I explained to them that the average person does not give 100% and that their effort would be easily recognized by any of their superiors.

I think that “the person in the mirror” can serve us all well by answering questions such as.

Did I give 100% effort today in my job?

Am I truly embracing new concepts?

Am I striving to learn new skills to improve my performance?

Do I take responsibility for the results of my effort or do I look for someone or something to blame?

Am I doing everything I can to be the success I say I want to be?

If we ask these and other delving questions of” the person in the mirror”, we can discover our weaknesses and begin to make the necessary changes to improve our performance.

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Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: honesty, self improvement, self awareness, self examination

Authentic Self Esteem

January 1, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Anne Ream -

Authenticity can be defined as honesty with oneself. In other words, being true to yourself. Authentic people have learned how to be honest with themselves and live according to their personal value system. Developing this ability is not always easy. The authentic individual recognizes the connection between all living beings and can be vulnerable and set boundaries within their relationships. Self-esteem is based in authenticity. Thus, being true to yourself, living in accord with your personal values, results in feeling good about yourself.

A step toward authentic self-esteem is to become aware of how you are thinking and what you are saying to yourself. Most of us are unaware of the things we are telling ourselves that can be damaging to our self-esteem. If we were raised in a situation in which a caregiver insulted us, we will continue to, unconsciously, repeat that insult, until we become aware of it. When we become aware of negative messages, we may have introjected, we can begin to change them. Mindfully increasing awareness of how we are thinking and what we are saying to ourselves is vital.

Thinking in a highly critical and judgmental manner, is another problem that can affect our self-esteem. If we are highly judgmental of others, we are most likely judging ourselves, as well. Although evaluation and judgment are normal, it is also normal to have biases and make distortions in evaluations and judgments. With increased self-awareness, people can recognize when they may be distorting their perceptions. As a result, people can make evaluations that are more realistic, and less harsh.

For many years now, advertising in our culture has manipulated and distorted perceptions of reality. It can be difficult for people to know who they are and why they are doing something, if much of what they do has been prescribed by advertising, or cultural norms. The BBC documentary, The Century of the Self, focuses on how, “those in power have used Freud’s theories to try and control the dangerous crowd in an age of mass democracy.” Adam Curtis, 2002. Freud’s nephew, Edward Bernase used Freud’s theories to, “create the model consumer” and to “manage the unconscious mind of the consumer.” As a consequence, many have followed their prescribed definition of success as financial success and live lives of empty prosperity.

In order to be authentic we need to be thoughtful about what we believe, what we value, and who we choose to be from moment to moment. Rather than automatically accepting something because others have done so, it is healthy to question the beliefs and thoughts of other’s before taking them on as ours. Therefore, developing our individual perspective and value system is vital for authentic self-esteem.

Meaning is another quality that is important for living a life with authentic self esteem. This means living a life with a sense of purpose. Meaning is based in what each of us finds important. Without it life has no purpose, no guidelines. A few ways we find meaning is through our career, relationships, causes, lifestyle and spiritual beliefs. Meaning connects us to something that is greater than ourselves. Knowing what we feel is important results in our making informed choices concerning what to do with our lives. As a consequence of living in a way that is true to our personal values and meaning we develop a sense of integrity, which is a vital aspect of authentic self esteem.

Integrity is the quality of having honest motivations for one’s actions. It is the opposite of hypocrisy. Someone who has a sense of wholeness in their life has integrity. A person who can behave according to their values, beliefs and principles is living a life of integrity.

Developing authentic self-esteem is part of the maturation process. In Men in Therapy, (2009) David Wexler writes, “A hallmark of the mature, authentic self is the ability to appraise the personal past and the personal present with a minimum of denial and distortion,” (page 245). Accordingly, this requires people to accept responsibility for their part in relationships that work well, and, for those that do not work well. Blaming others is a sign of immaturity and, furthermore, suggests that people who blame have self-esteem so low they cannot bear thinking about their mistakes. Additionally, blame prevents empathy, which is imperative for an intimate relationship. According to Wexler, “Empathy is considered to be one of the highest forms of affective development,” (page 253).

Self-awareness is where authentic self-esteem begins. Mindful awareness of the messages we are giving ourselves, helps us improve our self talk. Another consequence of mindfulness is our noticing when we are thinking judgmentally and the distortions that are part of those judgments. This is a state of being from which we can increase our recognition and resistance of the attempts of others to manipulate how we think. Defining our personal value system and developing a meaningful life, a life of integrity is part of an ongoing process that occurs as we grow and change. Woven throughout this process is accepting responsibility. Without acceptance of responsibility we cannot mature. Recognizing that we are fallible human beings who make mistakes renders us more vulnerable and lovable. The process of developing a sense of mature humility is one that results in authentic self-esteem. Authentic self-esteem is based in who we are and who we are becoming, here and now. Authentic self-esteem has nothing to do with what we look like, what we own, who we know, where we have traveled, how much we know, our IQ, number of degrees, or level of creativity. We can raise our authentic self-esteem every day, from moment to moment, here and now.

Anne is a Board Certified Registered art therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor. Anne has been studying human development and relationships for over 45 years. She has been successfully working with families, in various capacities, for over 20 years. Her private practice is in the Mt. Airy section of Philadelphia PA. She specializes in helping people recover from various types of trauma, difficult changes and loss. Anne has an unusual ability to connect with children and adolescents, along with their parents. Parenting is the most important job we ever do, yet no one shows us how to do it or gives us the support we need. Anne has successfully coached many parents through a variety of critical stages in their children’s lives. Annes greatest joy is helping people understand themselves and each other.

http://www.annescreativetherapy.com

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: feedback, self improvement, self awareness, Self Esteem

Self Acceptance is Like a Muscle

December 4, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Liz Rosenbaum -

Self acceptance is like a muscle…We have to continually strengthen it, for it to function properly.

Helping others find self-acceptance and love for themselves is a very important part of the “fitness” puzzle to me. Too often, we work and work to achieve this ideal level of physical fitness, yet still feel unhappy with the results or even find something else about ourselves that we’re not happy with. I have discovered that any type of health kick or fitness regimen NEEDS to include ALL of the components of health…not just the physical aspects, but the emotional aspects as well.

Over the years, as I have worked hard at finding self acceptance for myself – flaws and all – I have learned that it is NOT a one time thing you learn and then you never have a problem with again. Since everything about us is always changing – we need to constantly work on accepting ourselves – no matter what state we are in at the moment.

Think about it. How are you going to feel about yourself when you are at a healthy weight, you’re wearing a brand new outfit that accentuates your assets and hides your flaws, you just got your hair highlighted and nails done at the salon, and you had plenty of sleep the night before? Most likely, you are going to be feeling pretty good about yourself.

Now, let’s think about the flip side of that. How do you feel when you had a terrible nights sleep, your schedule has been so hectic that you haven’t washed your hair in three days, the only clean clothes you could find were a pair of old, worn out jeans that are too tight and a t-shirt you don’t feel comfortable in. And then to top it all off, when you look in the mirror you find three new zits that seem to have appeared overnight! How are you going to feel about yourself in THIS situation. Probably not so great.

Let’s face it. We all have days where we feel better about ourselves than other days. And unfortunately, there are even days where we feel down right icky about ourselves. The thing that is so important to remember however, is that on those “icky” days, we are still the same person that we were on those “good” days. So why let ourselves get down?

On days like these, we especially need to exercise our “self-acceptance” muscle. How do you do that you might ask? Well basically, it’s all in the way you think. You have to force the negative thoughts you may be thinking about yourself, completely OUT of your mind and you have to replace them with good thoughts. It almost sounds too simple to do, but in reality, it can feel like a wrestling match is going on in your brain.

For example: You are having an “icky” day and have to run to the grocery store. As you find yourself among other people, what thoughts are running through your head? Are they negative things like this? “Oh how embarrassing. I look so awful and look at her. She is so skinny and pretty and perfect. I just wish I could hide.” Or what about this? “Ugh…I look so fat. I know that girl is looking at my thighs and thinking I’m disgusting.” Here’s another one. “I better hurry and turn my cart around and go the other way so I don’t run into that guy I knew in high school. I would be so embarrassed to run into him looking like this.”

It’s those types of thoughts that can literally ruin our day and ruin our self perception. As you hear your inner voice say those negative things over and over again, your subconscious mind will actually start thinking them all of the time. It becomes a habit. So eventually, even on those days where you have every reason in the world to feel good about yourself, your mind will tell you reasons why you shouldn’t.

Be aware of what thoughts are going through your mind. Sometimes, we think negative things about ourselves, without even realizing we are doing it. Pay attention! And when those negative thoughts creep in your mind – use your “self acceptance” muscle and tell yourself something positive. Be a little more lenient on yourself. It’s okay if you don’t have great, “put-together” days all of the time. None of us do! It’s okay if you are a little over weight right now and are working on it. Don’t let the tiny size of someone else get you down.

Loving and accepting yourself takes work and dedication. Just like losing weight or strengthening your muscles – it is a daily habit we must do in order to truly benefit. If you can start to accept yourself more and more often – flaws and everything – you will feel so much more peace in your life. You won’t be burdened by a constant negative nag in your mind. Sometimes, accepting yourself the way you are, can seem too hard to do, but don’t stop trying. Keep at it! Remind yourself often that you are beautiful and that you were created to be beautiful. And finally, make sure you tell yourself that the spirit inside of you is what truly matters in life. Take care of it and the rest of you will feel beautiful too.

Article written by: Liz Rosenbaum

http://www.lizrosenbaumfitness.com/blog

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: self improvement, self acceptance, self awareness

Self-Aware or Self-Righteous? 10 Tips to Transition and Be Transformed

November 27, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Paul Davis -

What is your own inner evaluation of your self? Are you open to outside input? Are you self-aware or self-righteous?

There are four types of knowledge:

1.The knowledge of things

2.The knowledge of others

3.The knowledge of oneself

4.The knowledge of God

Surprisingly most people obtain the knowledge of oneself last, often directly after obtaining the knowledge of God. This is because the Creator often has an uncanny way about bringing us to an awareness of ourself. The Word of God in itself is like a divine mirror that supernaturally allows an individual to look into their own soul and make an inner assessment.

When we take time beyond the rat race of the day to look into our soul and evaluate what is there, many discoveries will be made. Insecurities that are often covered and hidden by pride, barracaded by walls of fear, and protected by an outward facade can often be painful to acknowledge.

When we have been bruised or wounded by past experiences, it is natural and relatively easy to be less trusting of people. This can turn into an angst against people as inwardly we truly crave love, but it seemingly tends to allude us. We sabotage relationships because of our tendency to distrust and propensity to have erroneous predispositions toward people. This is because we need to be healed of past hurts lest we perpetuate them into our future. Recycling past pain can be something we often don’t even realize we are doing.

Some people tend to project self-righteousness or the “know-it-all” mentality because they were raised like that by their parents. Perhaps a particular parent who had significant influence over their life was a “know-it-all.” The generational baggage and personage is often carried onward even unbeknownst to people many times. Others embrace such a disposition when they find that a bulldozing approach to life gets them what they want. What they don’t realize is that by winning their miniscule battles and getting what they want they often are losing the war and losing meaningful relationships.

To go from being self-righteous to becoming self-aware, here are some safe and sure secrets to transition and be transformed.

1. Listen with sincerity.

2. Pause and refrain from the inclination to say “I know” even if you already know.

3. Meditate on what is being said to you. Evaluate and think how it applies to you.

4. Realize that mentally knowing something does not mean you experientially see how it fits into your life. Ask “What do you mean by that?” and wholeheartedly listen to the response.

5. Ask for more information, examples, and feedback.

6. Humbly acknowledge that people see things about us we often do not see or know.

7. Be open minded and committed to personal growth.

8. Be patient with yourself and others, realizing change and transformation takes time.

9. Celebrate yourself and others. We are all unique, which makes life exciting. Be yourself and allow others the same privilege.

10. Maintain a sense of humor when acknowledging your idiosyncrasies and peculiarities. We all have them.

Life as a self-aware person is far more exciting, fulfilling, and rewarding then living as a self-righteous individual. When you are self-absorbed and self-righteous there is not much room for personal growth to absorb outside stimuli and influence. Make room for becoming increasingly self-aware. Initially it may be a bit painful as you hear new things about yourself, but if you do you will grow immensely and be treasured by your friends relationally.

Paul Davis is a life coach (relational & professional), traveling minister and fitness trainer. Paul is the author of several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart; and God vs. Religion. Paul is a popular worldwide keynote speaker, creative consultant, humor being, adventurer, explorer, mediator, minister, liberator and dream-maker.

Paul’s compassion for people & passion to travel has taken him to over 50 countries of the world where he has had a tremendous impact. Paul has served in many war-torn, impoverished and tsunami stricken regions of the earth. His nonprofit organization Dream-Maker Ministries is building dreams, breaking limitations and reviving nations.

Paul’s Breakthrough Seminars inspire, revive, awaken, impregnate with purpose, impart the fire of desire, catapult people into a new level of self-awareness, facilitate destiny discovery and dream fulfillment.

Contact Paul to minister, speak at your event or for life coaching: RevivingNations@yahoo.com, 407-967-7553.

For additional info: http://www.DreamMakerMinistries.com, [http://www.CreativeCommunications.TV]

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Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: inner evanualtion, self improvement, self awareness

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 – Self Awareness

October 11, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

“When times are challenging you learn about who you are” – Stephen Green, HSBC

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: daily quote, self awareness

Self-Awareness: 3 Steps To Knowing Yourself Better

October 11, 2011 By Admin 1 Comment

By Nick James Smith -

“When times are challenging you learn about who you are” – Stephen Green, HSBC

It is important as leaders to be able to lead ourselves. In fact it is important for all of us to be able to lead ourselves. Timothy Gallwey in ‘The Inner Game of Work’ talks about us all being the CEO of our own company, namely our own lives, and its true – if we lead nothing and nobody else, we lead ourselves. How well are we doing it?

The bible also suggests that a man ought to examine himself because if we judge ourselves, we will not come under judgment – it talks in a spiritual sense but is this not true of the natural world as well. If we look at ourselves with an objective and critical eye (or as unprejudiced as we will ever be) we can make changes and improvements before someone else points out our faults to us – potentially an infinitely more painful process.

Self-awareness though is not something that will come easily. Many of us will be overly critical seeing all of our faults. Others of us will be verging on cocky, aware of our strengths and unconcerned or blinded to our flaws. How can we be realistic and tend towards the objective?

It seems there are three keys to becoming more aware of who we are.

Meditation

It’s not easy or quick but absolutely necessary. If we try to look at ourselves in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, all we will see is a busy person struggling to give enough time to the task.

Instead we need to step back from life, somehow detach ourselves from the merry-go-round we live and work on and find a place of silence. That might be out on a hillside or it could be in your own front room. The location is irrelevant so long as there is an air of remoteness from the pressures of life; a remoteness that is not in danger of being punctured by incoming phone messages or people clamouring for your attention. So switch off your Blackberry, walk away from your laptop, leave people behind.

Make enough time for really getting quiet as well. We can’t do it simply be sitting down for a quiet half hour. There will be too many errant thoughts still spilling in slyly from your previous concentrations. If you have less than half a day, it will be hard to enter a space of peace and start to think unadulterated thoughts.

Maybe you are the type of person who can focus on things simply by sitting still and thinking through them. Alternatively you might want to be active, doing something that focuses your thoughts. However the thoughts come to mind though, write them down. They might be instantly obvious or you may need to mull them over in the next days or weeks – what do they mean?

Self-assessment Tools

There are many tools on the market ranging from the free to vastly over-priced; from three insightful questions to books of material to wade through. Some of them however will be useful.

How you decide what to use can be narrowed down initially by what you want to find out about yourself. For example if you want a clearer idea of your personality strengths you could use persolog’s Personality Profile, a Myers Briggs Type Indicator or any of the huge range of other offerings available on the market. When you want to know what your style of creativity is, you could try a Kirton Adaption-Innovation Inventory. To see where your motivating abilities lie, try an xpand Skills Workbook. But these are only the tip of the iceberg to serve as examples. There are hundreds of thousands of know-yourself type products on the market so which do you use?

What have your friends and people you trust used. What can other people recommend? What can you afford or how much do you want to budget? Find someone with some ideas and start from there.

External Feedback

What do other people say about you? We tend to notice the nice things that people say, but often they are not particularly insightful. The other statements that make their mark on our conscious are the criticisms, but how many of these are valid and again, insightful? It is, however, worth delving deeper into both of these sets, because there are probably nuggets of truth in there before they have been filtered by the other persons situation and feelings.

As well as that though, you need to find an objective source of feedback. The people that you trust, whom you referred to in order to find self-assessment tools, are hopefully also people you trust to talk straight to you about your strengths and weaknesses. If they are not, search your list of close contacts and find that kind of person. It needs to be someone who knows you well, that you trust to speak the truth, and whom you respect so that you don’t discount what they say. Likewise, they need to respect you, otherwise they won’t bother themselves and may give insufficiently thoughtful answers. Also be aware of any power imbalance in the relationship before you start. Are you willing for a boss or subordinate to point out your failings? Will a subordinate tend to give you an overly positive assessment and not be critical enough?

Once you have found such a suitable person (or people – different viewpoints will give you a better overall picture), don’t simply ask them bland ‘what are my strengths?’ type questions. Instead, how about getting them to complete the same self-assessment tools that you have already completed and then compare the answers – where are the discrepancies and why have they appeared. Alternatively, simply sit down with the answers you generated yourself and ask your reviewer(s) if they agree with your findings. If your reviewers/critics/mentors have something to agree or disagree with then it makes their job easier so they are more likely to spend time with you on it and you will get better feedback.

Don’t forget to thank them in some way for their time and effort – they are then more likely to help you next time you come to complete a self-reviewing exercise.

If you want some active tools to help you ‘meditate then try the CoachYourself self-coaching ideas found on the Square Pegs Coaching website.

Nick is an Outdoor Life Coach and Trainer. Within his company, Square Pegs Coaching, he uses outdoor experiences to help people develop themselves. To understand better what this means in practice and to take greater advantage of his expertise, go to http://www.squarepegscoaching.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_James_Smith
http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Awareness:-3-Steps-To-Knowing-Yourself-Better&id=5326602

Filed Under: Self awareness Tagged With: feedback, meditation, self improvement, self assessment, self awareness, self improvemen

Self-Awareness Fuels Personal Growth

September 4, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Lynn Banis -

What are you doing to increase your self-awareness? Why is increasing your self-awareness important anyway? It is important because it teaches us about how we show up in the world. We learn what impact our lives have on other people and things. It teaches us what we are good at and what we are not so good at. It guides us in surrounding ourselves with people who can support us because they have skills we do not have.

OK, so how do you increase your self-awareness? There are lots of ways you can do this. You can work with a coach or your HR department to take some assessment to learn about some of your skills and abilities. You can also take assessments to learn about your personality and how you relate to other people.

You can ask people for feedback on your behaviors. Ask them how they perceive you, what they see as your strong points, your weak points and your areas of the most potential. Ask them what they see you doing in five or ten years.

You can write in a guided journal. A guided journal has starter sentences or topics for you to reflect on. It is an opportunity to learn more about your beliefs, values and goals.You can find this type of journal in various book stores and on line. Just be sure to ask for a guided journal.

Another thing you can do to increase your self-awareness is to hire a good coach. You can work with a coach to increase your self-awareness and find ways to parlay that into personal growth and development. When you work with a coach you can go much deeper. You can explore your values. You can identify your self-limiting beliefs and replace them with more empowering beliefs. You can engage in goal setting and action planning. You can also work on specific issues you might have and grow and develop as a result of that.

If you decide to hire a coach be careful to hire a good one. Look for someone who has solid credentials and a background of extensive training and experience. Also look for someone you can trust to hold your information and sessions in complete confidence. You need to be sure there is good “chemistry” between you because you need to feel free to talk about anything you choose. Also be sure to interview two or three coaches to be sure you have a good fit.

About the Author:

Lynn Banis PhD, MCC is known as America’s High Performance Coach. She specializes in helping executives and entrepreneurs make the most of their opportunities and potential. Her years of working with small and large businesses has given her a depth of knowledge that is invaluable to her clients. You can reach her at http://www.discoverypointcoaching.com or lynn@discoverypointcoaching.com. Also check out Lynn’s other businesses: Coach Academy Texas, a cutting edge coach training company; and Turnkey Coaching Solutions, a coaching program management and contract coach staffing company.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lynn_Banis
http://EzineArticles.com/?Self-Awareness-Fuels-Personal-Growth&id=4778734

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: fuels personal growth, personal growth, self awareness

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