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The Best Self Development Tool

September 19, 2011 By 3 Comments

By Allison O’Neill -

If you are seeking self growth or change – have a meeting with yourself… while looking into a mirror. Tony Robbins talks about mirror affirmations. He recommends looking into your eyes and saying “I love you” many times a day. Some people find it really hard – they are the exact people that should be doing it often. You can use the mirror for anything personal you are pondering. If you are trying to quit smoking look into the mirror and say “I release the need for cigarettes”. You may find your mirror affirmation then moves – perhaps your smoking affirmation makes you aware of people always criticising you, so you should start saying “I release all criticisms” and see where that takes you. If you’ve done something you regret you can tell yourself you are sorry, you can work through the issues involved and you can forgive yourself.

There is something very meaningful and powerful about looking into your own eyes, it really is like looking into your own soul. If you had a rough upbringing that still hurts, when you look into your eyes and remember the pain you can really see it still dwelling and raw. If you keep looking and speaking to that inner child you used to be you can heal yourself – yep using a mirror. Speak to that child as if you are its parent. See the fear in their eyes then tell them life is ok now, you are safe and happy now.

At first what you are saying may not seem true. Be persistent and soon you will really be living the statements. Affirmations can help you feel great about yourself. If you have preivously been dependant on others to make you feel significant you will have to no longer. You can start to see a new way in your life and let go of old negative thought patterns. You might use an “I am” statement such as “I am creative and smart”, an “I can” statement such as “I can lose weight” or an “I will” one “I will grow stronger each day”.

Louise Hay the author of the amazing book “You Can Heal Your Life” is credited as the mother of mirror affirmations she says:

“When I talk about doing affirmations, I mean consciously choosing words that will either help eliminate something from your life or help create something new in your life. An affirmation opens the door. It’s a beginning point on the path to change. Affirmations are like seeds planted in soil. Poor soil, poor growth. Rich soil, abundant growth. The more you choose to think thoughts that make you feel good, the quicker the affirmations work”.

Further to mirror affirmations are written ones. Every day write your affirmation down 20 times. Your subconscious mind will accept it, it will start to sink in and start becoming a reality in your life.

Try it! Look into your eyes and whatever you find it the hardest to say are the things you should say a gazillion times a day. Let affirmations change you and your life.

Allison O’Neill writes a self growth blog called “Live Knowing This” http://www.liveknowingthis.blogspot.com . Self growth has been a huge love of hers from a very young age. She has read hundreds of self help books. Been to all the ‘entrepreneurs’ seminars she could find, and adores Tony Robbins programs. She loves pondering, writing and learning as she writes. She wants to help people live better and simpler lives while loving learning and growing.

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How to Motivate Anyone Including Yourself With 7 Minutes and a Cup of Coffee

February 15, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Dr. Richard Norris – (Note: Dr. Richard Norris will be our guest on The Self Improvement Show on Feb. 24)

Do you, your team or organization need to overcome obstacles and deliver results?

Perhaps, you are having issues motivating your team or even yourself?

Do you need to know how to find those elusive “hot buttons” that ignite people into action?

Until a few years ago I would have answered, “Yes” to all of these. Then one day I had an epiphany.

You cannot motivate anyone!

Yep. You heard me. You cannot motivate anyone…except yourself. Think about it.

Motivation is very personal and comes from within us. Let’s look at the definition.

Motivation n: the reason or reasons behind one’s actions or behaviour (Oxford Dictionary)

Whether it is the primal drivers of the need for food and perpetuation of the species as in migrating salmon or it is because you have been made redundant thanks to the recent recession and you are motivated to provide for your family, the reason motivates you. There may be external factors but the driver comes from within.

Now what you can do is inspire others. Inspiration is initiated externally. At its root, inspire relates to “breathing in”. Oxford Dictionary defines inspiration as:

The process or quality of being inspired; a person or thing that inspires.

That is we must breathe it into ourselves first. Breathe in the inspiration and then use it, as the body uses oxygen, to help us to live and wilfully act upon our surroundings.

Inspiration precedes motivation. You need to be inspired and motivated to inspire others to become motivated.

No matter the audience, when I have asked for a show of hands those who could tell me exactly what motivates the people around them at work, rest or play, there has been very few or no hands up. A sad testimony don’t you think. No wonder there is such a chronic need today for effective leadership development?

Now think of Dr Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech. He inspired a movement that was motivated to bring about cultural change. That inspiration came about because Dr King connected with his audience. He connected with them at an emotional and spiritual level. He was giving them the vision that inspired them. The intention was to pass them the baton to make it happen. As leaders know, or most of them anyway, they cannot deliver the vision on their own. They need help.

Share the Dream

So for you to motivate anyone you must first share the dream. Communicate it clearly, consistently, constantly and creatively.

Next help your motivatees to understand their purpose as it relates to achieving the dream, goal or target. Help them to connect with it so they understand their part and how meaningful their part is in the achievement. Help them T.E.A.M U.P. – Together Everyone Achieves More Understanding Purpose.

Using a football analogy, every player has a position and with that position comes role to play (their purpose) in the game plan especially when they understand the importance of working as a team. No game plan. No awareness of their role. Out of position. Bad result.

Key Questions

Here is a question worthy of some significant consideration. Ask yourself. Ask your team.

If we do this in sport, why do we not tend to do it in business or even in at home?

Your role is to understand your purpose and, where relevant, help your motivatees to identify theirs and how it fits into the inspiring bigger picture. Do that and motivation is beginning to take form.

As the late Jim Rohn said, “When the why gets strong the how becomes easy.”

Inspire the team. Power comes when you align the individual’s purpose with the team’s purpose. The individual becomes aware, perhaps for the first time, how key they are to the success of the team or the organization. After all, teams win championships not individuals because they work as a team playing off each other’s skills, knowledge, experience and responsibilities.

Now you might be asking how do you help your motivatees to discover their purpose?

Well, one simple way to gain insight into what may motivate someone is to ask them the following question:

If you had unlimited resource in your life, what would you do?

Everyone is born with a purpose. It is hard-wired into their DNA. Everyone has strengths and gifts that will support that purpose. Regrettably, most people never discover what their purpose, gifts or strengths are. This is a way to draw it out.

Another couple of simple clarifying questions to ask them are:

What comes easy to you?

What’s your dream?

These answers will begin to enlighten you (and hopefully them) as to what those “hot buttons” might be.

Now that we have some lights coming on, what value would it be to you, your team and your organization etc if you had a simple and effective method or tool that enabled you (and everyone else for that matter) to really know what those “hot buttons” really are in about 7 minutes over a cup of coffee?

The Hot Box

Enter the “Hot Box”. Draw it out.

This is a 3 x 3 matrix with:

i.Left to right the headings 90 days – 1 year – 3 years across the top

ii. Top to bottom the headings Personal Goals – Professional Goals – Personal Development Goals

Sit down with your team-mate and work with them to fill in this box.

For illustration purposes, let’s use a work scenario and overlay the success model first devised by Napolean Hill – Be x Do = Have. Who we are combined with our actions delivers the results.

1. Ask them why they go to work. The answer you are looking for is so they can make money so they can invest it in their personal lives to deliver the lifestyle they aspire to.

2. Ask them to fill in 1-3 personal goals they would like to achieve over the next 90 days, 1 year and 3 years. Examples could be an all-inclusive vacation to the tropics or buy a house or start a hobby. This helps you both identify what is driving them, their “Why?” – their “hot buttons”. These are the ultimate results or the “Haves”

3. Help them make the connection between their personal goals and their professional goals. Ask them what they need to achieve in their professional role over 90 days, 1 year and 3 years that will ensure they then have the resources to deliver the personal goals. The answers go in the respective boxes. These answer “What?” they need to do to achieve those personal goals. They represent the “Dos”. If they do not act on these, they won’t get the results they desire.

4. Assuming that as time progresses they desire to grow, help your motivatee to then establish their personal development goals in their professional role. A great question to ask here is, “Who do you need to ‘be’ to deliver your professional goals?” Examples could be they need training to be more productive or to be better at sales or be a better manager. These answer “Who” they need to become and helps identify their development needs. Emphasize the connection between “Who” they need to become with “What” they need to do and “Why” that is so important to them.

Completed this way, you will have a Personal Motivation Plan - a record for yours and their reference at any time. And all it takes is about 7 minutes.

Now there is a piece missing. Do the following and you and everyone else nearby will know what the “hot buttons” are.

5. Once completed, request that your motivatee then obtain a picture that represents each respective Personal Goal and post it where they (and you et al) can see it easily and frequently e.g. a photo next to their phone, computer or car sun visor or an image on their iPhone or as a screensaver. This provides a constant reminder of “Why” they are truly there – for them and for you and for the rest of the team.

6. Now, as and when required, you can hit their “hot button” and reinforce their motivators. Ask a question like, “So, how are you getting on to attaining that dream holiday?” to reconnect them with their purpose. Or comment, “Now that you have made this project so profitable, congratulations on your raise! Now you will have the down payment for that house.” You get the idea.

No Excuses!!

So now are you motivated? Go get some coffee, carve out 7 minute blocks, sit down and pull out the Hot Box. Now you have no excuses. Ask. “Why?” “What?” “Who?” Ignite yourself. Then ignite the team. You will be glad you did. Oh…And please let me know how you get on.

Dr Richard Norris
Your Performance & Legacy Coach
Author of “Hoof it! 7 Key Lessons on Your Journey of Success”

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Meditation As a Way to Improve Self Development

January 19, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Igor Silva -

Countless of us take no notice of the magnitude of meditation to improve our Self Development. Yet, it is without a doubt significant. There is no doubt, that it can facilitate discharge or minimize stress, depression, and anxiety. When we are depress and stressed, unconsciously our emotional well being is deteriorating, unknowingly this manifest to our attitude towards dealing with other people surrounding us which is not good if we aim for Self Development. The aid of Meditation is hugely important.

Meditation can be described in a few words as “the quieting of the mind.” The concept of meditation is peace and awareness of your inner self and your environment. To meditate is to consider, ponder, pray study, search, think, and reflect upon a concept or principle of your journey as a human being. Knowing your inner purpose and it is indeed helpful for understanding deeply the emotional problems of daily life, when things go wrong it opens the heart and makes you more aware.

Numerous novel neophytes in meditation find it difficult to start because of various fears, fear of losing control, fear of being possessed and doubt to spiritual experiences. With loads of potential barriers to meditation, the only answer is our willingness to take the challenge.

Here are some simple steps to start meditation for Self Development.

- Have a quiet location where you can meditate undisturbed.

- Wear simple, loose clothes, preferably white in color.

- Find a Comfortable Position. Sitting upright in a chair or on the ground against a wall is the most preferable position.

- Don’t drink alcohol and be drug free. Alcohol sends our minds spinning when the purpose of meditation is to quiet the mind.

Although the courage to meditate cannot be taught, because it is something personal and private; it is the venturing of the soul into the unknown. But it can be learned by anyone who has the courage to attain life that is in harmony with desire. Everyone can meditate, no matter who they are.

A Do-it-at-home simple Meditation

1. Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people at your home. Sit quietly in a comfortable position. Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you’ll be meditating. Keep the face serene. Chin up.

2. Relax your muscles. Breathe in slowly, easily, evenly, and deeply and then breathe out slowly, easily, evenly, and deeply. Within three minutes you should be able to breathe in and out about ten times. Our breathing has a big impact on our mind; if we can quite our breathing it will help slow down our mind.

3. Now concentrate on cultivating a calm and quiet mind. Let thoughts come to you. The thoughts and feelings we feel, unaffected, calm and tranquil. Then you will slowly realize your oneness with all. Breathe slowly and naturally.

4. Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. After you finish sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to have health benefits. It lowers blood pressure and aides the asthmatics in their breathing. For others, Meditation is the best kind of prayer. It is the best kind of offering. It is also the best purification practice. But for me, the worlds make sense through meditation.

It is my credence that Self Development is the foundation of success and advancement in the course of life. A toast to all who works best to improve Self Development to achieve ultimate success in all accomplishments. Please visit my spot About Self Development

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Self Awareness – Three Things You Should Know About Yourself

January 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Parthasarathy Rengaswami -

Self awareness means understanding yourself better. Most of us are not fully aware of what is buried deep in our personality. Self discovery is a continuous process. It has no end. The more and more you discover about yourself, the stronger and stronger will your personality will become. You will think better, act better and achieve better. To improve your awareness of yourself, you have to focus on the following areas.

1. What are your strengths?

Every person born in this world is endowed with a variety of talents and skills. We also learn a lot. Learning is not confined to academic learning. We start learning as a child by observing others. Psychologists call this cognitive learning. This means observing a particular behavior, seeing the result it achieves and reproducing the same behavior when you want the same result. Starting from this basic learning, we absorb a lot of knowledge both knowingly and unknowingly. Though knowledge is valuable and powerful, a surfeit of knowledge sometimes acts like a handicap by preventing us from knowing what we are best at doing. We are good at doing several things. But if we can discover the areas where we can excel, then we become aware of our strengths.

2. What are your weaknesses?

It is a well accepted fact that everyone has areas of weaknesses. The weakness may be a personality defect like shyness and inhibition or an undesirable habit we have acquired. Whatever is the weakness, we have to accept it for a fact. Many people deceive themselves by refusing to accept a weakness or by ignoring it. If you have the fear of public speaking, you should accept it for a fact. If you cannot resist the temptation to drink, you should understand that it is weakness. Rationalizing our weak points will not help us. Once you become aware of your weaknesses, you get the power to work towards overcoming them. As long as you refuse to accept your weaknesses, you will be burdened with them and will never think of getting relieved of them.

3. Know what you like and dislike:

We all have individual tastes. We have likings and preferences. While these may not be rational, there is nothing wrong with our having likes and dislikes. Please remember that it is your individual taste that distinguishes your personality. If every one talks highly of a film and if you don’t like it, you should accept your feelings. There is nothing in your having an opinion different from the majority of people. You don’t have to argue with others. But it is perfectly alright to feel the way you do.

Two things are important in life. Earning money and maintaining good relationships. If you want to be happy and successful, you should focus on these two areas of financial success and harmonious relationships.

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Self Awareness – Why This Is Important

January 4, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Parthasarathy Rengaswami -

What will be your answer to the question? ‘Who are you?’ You may answer this in various ways. You may answer this question with your name, your profession, your relationship with someone or some other way. You are a resident of town X, an employee of company Y, a customer, a voter, a complainant, a respondent and so many other things. Most of these things have nothing to do with your real self. Self awareness refers to your understanding of your personality, specifically your strengths, weaknesses, desires, ambitions, feelings etc. Self awareness becomes important because this knowledge will help you make choices in your life.

Have you ever accepted something offered to you or asked of you and have later felt that you should not have accepted it? Almost every one has this experience at some time or the other. Having this experience is good for you. It makes you understand the need for understanding yourself better. If you had had self awareness, you would not have accepted something that didn’t go with your wants, tastes or personality. If you are a young man and a beautiful girl asks you to marry her, will you readily say yes? Not likely, even if she were a ravishing beauty. This is because you are aware that beauty is not the only thing to look for in a girl, that you would like to marry. There are people who are momentarily unaware of this and accept the proposal mesmerized by the girl’s beauty. As a result they suffer an unhappy marriage. A similar situation may arise for a girl who may fall for a man’s looks or riches, only to discover too late that he was not the type of husband she had wanted.

Some decisions you make due to lack of self awareness can be reversed. If you take up a job that is not suitable to you, you may change your job though you would have lost some part of your life by spending your time in the job and feeling miserable. But some decisions like marriage will be more difficult to reverse and even if you reverse the decision, the consequences will live with you for a long time.

So, how do you gain self awareness? Sit down, take a note book and write things about you. Start with what you possess, your talents and skills, your knowledge and expertise etc. Then, write down your weaknesses, your likes and dislikes. Keep this list with you. Come back to this quite often. You may have to modify the list as you discover more about yourself and as you change yourself. This exercise will activate your self awareness whenever you have to make choices and help you make the right decisions.

Two things are important in life. Earning money and maintaining good relationships. If you want to be happy and successful, you should focus on these two areas of financial success and harmonious relationships.

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5 Steps to a Solid Self Improvement Plan

December 4, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Jeremy Winters -

Self improvement is not merely a subject of academic interest pursued by a handful of erudite people. It is something that can be practically followed by each one of us to improve our lives or achieve a specific goal. A self improvement plan is comprised of a series of steps that can be taken to improve one’s skill and abilities in order to make the desired change.

It is important to realize that self improvement begins as soon as the “self” in you assumes control of your life. Many among us fail to improve our lives even after reading hundreds of self-help books simply because the motivation must come from within.

Although there are no specific set of rules applicable to self improvement because every individual has different goals, there are some common steps you can follow.

1. Accept: Contrary to popular opinion, acceptance is not the same as capitulation. Acceptance helps you to acknowledge the existence of a problem. This acknowledgment allows you to put things in perspective and gives a sense of direction. You cannot resolve a problem if you do not believe it exists.

2. Make a plan: This is the most important part of any successful self improvement plan. Be specific about what you want to do and outline practical steps for its implementation. At the same time, your plan must be able to adapt to any unforeseen changes coming your way. Stubbornness is different from resilience, so be flexible about plans. But do not lose sight of the big picture.

3. Seek help: Self improvement does not mean that you must do everything by yourself. Involve your family, friends, mentors and peers in this life changing process and see the difference. There is no shame in seeking assistance from those who care about us.

4. Implement and celebrate: It is now time for you to take the practical steps outlined during your plan formulation. Divide your target into a set of smaller goals and take realistic steps. This will enable you to steer clear of frustration. Also, recognize and celebrate every success of yours, regardless of how insignificant it may be. Some people are so focused on the eventual goal that they forget to celebrate small successes along the way.

5. Reassess your plan: Keep reassessing the plan periodically and make relevant changes in order to avoid stagnation. It is also important to reassess your target from time to time as you might have already reached it and it is time for you to set newer goals.

These are some of the ways in which you can make and implement your self improvement plan. Remember, only you have the power to make the desired difference in your life.

Are you looking for online self help programs? Be sure to visit my site for an online self help guide that will help you reach your self improvement goals.

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What Matters Most Is How You See Yourself

October 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Sonja Ridden -

How often do you ask yourself: “Do I love me?” If you think that this is a silly, self-centered or inappropriate question, think again! The one relationship from which can never get away is the relationship you have with yourself and if that isn’t a good one, how do you expect to have a good relationship with anyone else? YOU CAN’T – it’s as simple as that! Therefore it is critical that you do all it takes to develop an excellent and healthy relationship with that person that stares back at you when you look into a mirror.

In his book You Can Do It Paul Hanna states that just like a pilot of a 747 we have all the controls at our fingertips that allow us to take off and fly at any altitude we choose. He asserts, however, that many of us cruise along the same altitude for years, often very unhappy with our bumpy ride, but with the conviction that we don’t have the power to change it.

I believe that Paul Hanna is right – it’s our attitude that determines whether we will soar like a 747, cruise along at the same altitude year in year out or, worse still, limp along the tarmac taking off every so often, only to land again with such a nasty bump that sooner or later we’ll be convinced that take-off isn’t even an option.

My attitude not only determines my altitude, it also determines the success I achieve in my life. Recognising this principle makes it vital to understand how I came by my attitude in the first place and, more importantly, how I can change it.

IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF

Simplistically, our attitude is the sum-total of the beliefs we have developed about ourselves and our world throughout our life’s journey. The most significant development of our beliefs occurs throughout our childhood years. This may mean, for instance, that if you were raised in fear-filled home it is likely that when you first tried your wings you did so with great fear and trepidation, expecting to crash at any minute. If you were told throughout your growing years that you are worthless and would never amount to anything, chances are that you never even found the courage to take off in the first place. Adversely, having spent your childhood in a supportive environment that applauded your early successes, you most likely took off with the total conviction that your plane would safely lift off the ground, would soar like an eagle in no time at all and that you would land safely at your chosen destination…which, no doubt, you did!

It all depends on how you see yourself – the image you have of who you are – how competent, how capable and how worthy you are of success. So, what if you were NOT raised in an environment that encouraged this kind of self image? Does this mean that you will never be able to effectively fly your 747?

Not at all! Whilst it obviously helps to have had acknowledgment of our childhood successes, thankfully our future does not depend on it as we all have the capacity to change our early programming.

So, how can we change our programming?

CHANGING THE PROGRAM

The only way you can change the program that has thus far determined the view you have of yourself and of the world is by changing your beliefs. The only way you can change your beliefs is by accepting that they may not be accurate; that you’ve simply accepted what you’ve been told by your parents, your teachers or other individuals who were influential in your life was the truth; that – in fact – you have been viewing yourself and the world through someone else’s glasses.

The following steps will help you change your program:

Step 1 – Challenge your beliefs

Take a good, hard look at the things you believe and especially at the beliefs that have kept you grounded on the tarmac. Take off your parents’ (teachers or other people’s) glasses that are tinted by their own experiences, agendas and issues and put on glasses that are not tinted by anyone else’s expectations. Then determine whether it is really true that you are unreliable, can’t do anything right or are responsible for everybody else’s well being, or whether – in fact – this is something you’ve simply accepted as ‘a given’ because you’ve been told it so often? Be sure to view all your beliefs through your new glasses and decide for yourself which ones to keep and which ones to discard.

Step 2 – Explore, read, discuss and grow

The more dysfunctional the beliefs you have held in the past, the greater your challenge to discover and embrace healthier and more empowering ones. In order to make the desired changes it is essential that you broaden your world.

You can begin the broadening process by reading about the areas in which your beliefs had been restrictive and unsupportive; by opening your mind and discussing your beliefs, thoughts and ideas with trusted friends and mentors and by giving yourself permission to see yourself and your world through glasses that have not yet been tinted.

Step 3 – Replace your old beliefs with new and more empowering ones

As you discover a new and exciting world of knowledge and become convinced and convicted that some of the beliefs you may have held for a long time are either inaccurate or are not your own or have not served you well in the past or have tied you to the tarmac or have kept you cruising at an uncomfortable and unsatisfactory altitude, be sure to replace them one by one with new, helpful, empowering and supportive ones.

Step 4 – Allow your new beliefs to help you soar

Now that you’ve replaced your old beliefs, allow your new ones to help you take off and fly. Be prepared that your first few attempts may be frightening, unsteady and not entirely satisfying. Expect your first take-off or rise to higher planes to be pretty scary. Moving outside ones comfort zone always is!

Step 5 – Choose your friends

Having discarded your old and dysfunctional beliefs you may also find that relationships and friendships with people who’ve kept you ‘stuck’ no longer fit for you. Be sure to now surround yourself with supportive people, friends and relative who want to see you fly, who cheer you on as you roll along the tarmac and who applaud every take-off, no matter how wonky it may be.

Step 6 – Stick with the process

Remember that all new things are difficult. Overriding old programming takes time and so does trusting your new beliefs. The more you practice, however, the better you will get at it and in time, you too will take off as elegantly as a 747 and fly as majestically as an eagle.

Sonja Ridden is a counselor/psychotherapist, relationship and life coach. Passionate about personal and professional development, Sonja considers herself a change agent and is committed to enhancing people’s potential in all areas of life. To find out more about Sonja, go to http://www.sonjaridden.com

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Free Your Heart From Hatred – The First Step to Happiness

May 13, 2010 By 3 Comments

By Claudia Juarez -

Is hate useful? Is there a good use for hate?

To me, there is. When we hate something or someone, that provokes an array of feelings inside. Those feelings are a sign that something is not good. Big news, huh? I’m not a doctor in medicine but I do know they start an internal chain reaction that end in all sort of illnesses, be them emotional or physical (more often than not). They are a sign of resistance.

We are all scared of changes. We would love our lives to remain predictable so we don’t have to adjust each time to new situation but that’s simply not how life is designed. When we encounter challenges, our body and mind go into alert mode: there is something that doesn’t fit with how we constructed our view of the world.

The healthier and more difficult thing to do would be to work over that challenge, see if it presents an opportunity to better ourselves and if it doesn’t, at least don’t let it stay inside of us.

Instead, what we do most often is to find ourselves ruminating about all the negative aspects it has, all the negative impact it is going to have, how much we’ll deviate from our programmed path and so on. Have you heard that you get what you focus on the most? The more we ruminate about it, the more we focus on it, the more of the negative aspects we get only to start ruminating about it once more and repeat the cycle. Over time, it becomes that visceral feeling we call “hate”. We hate our job, our boss, our workplace, our house etc. We end up getting sick and we add more excuses our our “right” to hate.

What’s the good use then? When we realize we’re inside this cycle, we can stop and think about the cause of our unrest. What is it that we’re resisting? Is there a way to change that resistance into acceptance? Could it be that what we’re resisting can actually make us go forward? Can we capitalize on the situation and make it work for us?

And if we can’t change it and it’s still negative, do we really need to focus and devote so much attention into it? Is there anything else that we could focus on? Usually, when we consciously focus on something more positive, we tend to start shifting our energy. When we do that, our overall life improves. Maybe at first you will have to force yourself to focus on something more positive. When I was really sick last year, I had episodes of acute pain that lasted for hours. At first I would just go something like “I wish the pain would stop, why doesn’t it stop, what can I do/take to make it stop” and dwell upon the fact that I was feeling a lot of pain and that my sickness was because of the stress produced by the people I had to work with who to me where doing all they could to make my life miserable. All that added even more stress to the pain I

felt. It wasn’t until I shifted my focus from pain to whatever else (I would force myself to think of the most trivial things like planning the weekly menu during these episodes) that I started to improve.

So, in a short time after thinking of positive things, we find ourselves focusing less and less into the cause of our hate. One day it no longer has power over us. Then is when we start seeing more possibilities and figure how it can work in our advantage.

When we’re free of hatred, our life is lighter and we’re finally able to see the good things around us that we couldn’t see before.

Claudia Juarez [http://www.motivationemergency.com] BA, Motivation & Career Coach, teaches professionals how to be happier in their lives and jobs from the inside-out through a unique approach to motivation. Discover the 2 THINGS that will recession proof your life at: www.MotivationEmergency.com [http://www.motivationemergency.com]

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