Self-Improvement | Self Esteem | The Self Improvement Blog

The Beauty of Self Esteem

May 16, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

The French Have a Saying, “comfortable dans votre peau,” which means looking and feeling comfortable in your skin. Science can unveil its latest beauty theory, Hollywood can showcase its dewiest starlets, fashion magazines can parade their stable of underweight models, your mother can criticize your hairstyle, cosmetic companies can display their latest colors specially designed for complexions different to yours. Some random guy on the street may inform you he’d like your breasts better if they were a different size. When it comes down to it, however, you are the only person who can make others see you as beautiful. No, this doesn’t require magic, spell-casting, or mind control; it takes self-esteem.

Humans not only perceive, but are also influenced by, each other’s feelings. If people sense your self-hatred, there’s a good chance they’ll see you the way you subconsciously tell them to see you. In other words, you’ve got to believe you are attractive before other people will believe it. Throughout history, there have been beauties who could have been deemed too unusual, too plain, too ugly, too something, to be beautiful. Yet these smart ladies have ignored what society says is beautiful. They realize that to stand apart they must celebrate their own unique looks. We react to their self-comfort and are as comfortable with their beauty as they are.

Learning to appreciate yourself

Instead of worrying about what you look like, realize that your looks are only a small portion of what makes you unique. Take your mind off this small component and focus on your other characteristics, such as your spirituality, your generosity, your career, and your relationships with others. Always be aware that your body and face were created first and foremost to be functional.

Next time you compare yourself to a cover model, bring yourself back to reality with this tidbit: the average fashion model in 1968 weighed 8 percent less than the average woman; a model today weighs 23 percent less.

Celebrate your eyes, nose, mouth, and ears by bird-watching, smelling roses, enjoying a terrific meal, going to the symphony. Learning to appreciate your body and face for what they can do instead of how they look – helps boost your self-esteem. If you are comfortable and relaxed about the way you look, you will have a natural radiance and elegance about you.

Be happy being you

Celebrate the looks you were born with and play to your strong points. This may mean ignoring current fashion and wearing something that makes you feel good, whether that something be purple eye shadow that makes your green eyes shine like jade or an outdated hairstyle that plays up your bold profile.

When you are confronted with a media image of unrealistic beauty, ask yourself what it is about the image that is unnatural. You could write to or phone the television station or magazine responsible and let them know your thoughts. If your self-esteem is low, try reading confidence-boosting books, associating with positive people, or even visiting a therapist for professional help.

Don’t dwell on airbrushed images of underweight models. Eleanor Roosevelt knew what she was talking about when she said no one (or no thing) can make us feel inferior without our permission.

Read more on Lipsense and senegence lipsense.

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Obesity and Self Esteem

May 13, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Oliver Brendan Greene -

Why does obesity exist (when not caused by medical problems)? This question has been asked by many in the medical and psychiatric profession worldwide.

The reason obesity exists is in all honesty very simple. If it is not caused by a medical condition, it is because folk have eating disorders such as eating too much, not eating enough, eating in an unhealthy fashion, bingeing or stuffing themselves. Comfort eating, eating high-calorie foods, eating too much fast food – there is an abundance of cheap food available. Then there is the mind of the person. The mind is a great controller of an individual’s emotions and how they see themselves, and it can create low self-esteem.

The advancement of technology has produced televisions, game consoles and the computer. These all entail sitting positions, so if the person works in an office he or she is sitting down, and when they get home they are sitting down. What exercise did they get during the day? Just to walk to the toilet or the canteen at break time. Oh they ate where? Ah yes, in a fast food outlet. No wonder there is an obesity epidemic. The world community is geared up to be obese, and it all began in the 40s. Since then mankind has poisoned the ground, the rivers, the lakes, the sky, the very air we breathe.

Each piece of food we eat has come into contact with some kind of food enhancer or preservative, and none of this is good for the human body. When you’re sitting in the comfort of your home watching all these adverts for food from all the high street fast food chains try to remember they have known of this poisoning since the 40s and they did not tell you. Their food is truly poison to your insides. Just look at the rise in cancer. When did it begin to become so prevalent? Yes in the late 40s, and now one in three people will experience some form of cancer in their life due to the neglect of governments who should have been looking after their people’s welfare.

It is time to sort out this childhood and adult obesity problem, and begin a program of education for parents, schools and any organization dealing with obesity. There is no time to lose. It is very important to note that the loss to production caused by obesity last year worldwide was $300 billion. Add to that the cost of health services, and the figure is a mind boggling $575 billion.

It is time to avoid all processed foods as they are too high in calories and preservatives. Do not allow your children to eat in any fast food outlet.

Take responsibility for your children’s health and take the same responsibility for your own health; lead by example. I believe that the majority of obese people can be helped to lead healthy lifestyles by proper diet plans and an exercise routine which begins easily and gets more effective as time goes by. It is very true to say that if you’re obese there is only one way to stay healthy and that’s to have a mind-changing attitude, and if you have a God in your life then use that God to assist you. Also, it is a fact that once you have become obese, fat or overweight, you need a daily program of healthy living to keep off the weight, and if you relax on your program the weight will go back on. So be aware of this and don’t let it happen to you. You’re worth more. Be good to yourself and help yourself to gain a healthier lifestyle, starting now.

Oliver Brendan Greene was diagnosed with obesity about eight years ago after fighting a weight issue for more than fifteen years.His weight issues began when he became a little overweight, but thought it was nothing too serious. He later became fat and this deteriorated into clinical obesity a few years later. After a very serious illness and near loss of his life in 2008, Greene became determined to lose the weight. At this time, he faced the facts of his laziness and unhealthy lifestyle and made a decision to change.

His website, the-menace-of-obesity.com tells his story of gaining and losing weight. It conveys the ideas and measures that were needed to overcome the menace of being fat, obese or overweight. His mental attitude and zest for life will inspire anyone in their own fight against the menace of obesity.

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Obesity and Self Esteem

By Oliver Brendan Greene

Why does obesity exist (when not caused by medical problems)? This question has been asked by many in the medical and psychiatric profession worldwide.

It is time to avoid all processed foods as they are too high in calories and preservatives. Do not allow your children to eat in any fast food outlet.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Oliver_Brendan_Greene
http://EzineArticles.com/?Obesity-and-Self-Esteem&id=6497843

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: obesity, self improvement, Self Esteem

Why is Taking Care of Your Health Important For Your Self-Esteem?

May 12, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Liv Miyagawa –

If you are not taking care of your health you are telling yourself that your body, and thus you as a person, is not important. If you want to have a high self-esteem you need to tell yourself that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Think about somebody that you love very much. It may for example be a friend or it may be a family member. Imagine that this person got ill. Wouldn’t you wish for that person to become healthy again? If you could, wouldn’t you want to do everything that you could possibly do to help that person get better? If you really love somebody you want that person to be as healthy as possible and feel as good as possible all the time. You want to help that person to be at his/her optimal physical state both in the short-term and in the long-term.

Your level of self-esteem is basically your amount of love towards yourself. The higher self-esteem you have the more you will also be able to love others. In order to raise your self-esteem you need to act as if you already had a high self-esteem. You cannot start to love yourself more if you are constantly treating yourself as if you didn’t. Therefore, in order to raise your self-esteem you need to take care of your own physical health because that is what you would do if you really loved yourself.

A person with high self-esteem considers herself/himself important. This is NOT the same as considering oneself to be MORE important than others. At the contrary, the higher value you consider yourself to have the more value you will be able to see in others. If you think that you are an important person, then it becomes obvious that you will want to take care of the body that is supporting you and keeping you alive. Taking care of that body involves eating well, exercising, resting and so on. If you neglect your physical health you’re sending the message to yourself that you are not important enough to be taken care of. On the other hand, if you do take care of yourself, you’re sending yourself the message that you are important enough to have an ideal health so that you can live longer and develop your potentials.

Take care of your health and self-esteem will follow!

Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach

Liv Miyagawa, The Self-Esteem Coach, helps people all over the world to raise their self-esteem and to reach their personal goals. She opens people’s eyes to their own strengths and helps them to figure out what it really is that they want to get out of life. Liv helps people to find out exactly what steps they need to take to reach their goals, and she supports them and motivates them on their journey towards a more fulfilling future. http://www.livmiyagawa.com

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Achieve High Self-Esteem

May 6, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Barry Austin -

Every person has an image of themselves in their mind. A self-image that forms a picture of who and what they are, and this image has been formed by all the people they have interacted with, through their childhood, adulthood and into old age: it is these influences that have a bearing on their self-confidence and self-esteem.

It will be these influences that will form your self-image, and have an effect on your self-confidence and your self-esteem.

If these influences have been positive praise and rewards for your achievements: your self-esteem will be high. If, however these influences have been negative, your self-confidence and self-esteem will be dangerously low.

Suffering from low self-esteem leaves you vulnerable to a whole host of destructive emotions such as depression, self-harming, alcohol and substance abuse.

You will encounter difficulties in your relationships, and in your work and career. All these frustrations will lead you to develop a victim mentality.

But the good news is that these negative influences can be controlled and eventually defeated. Once this has been achieved, you will begin to restore your self-esteem.

Listed below are some simple guides to assist you in building up your self-esteem.

Learn to filter out any negative remarks: otherwise they could shatter your self-confidence and self-esteem. Close your mind and ears to them.

Concentrate only on positive comments and remarks. However learn to accept some criticism, as it may be justified: after all nobody can be perfect at all times. Analyse this criticism to see if there is anything positive you take from it. However if you feel there nothing positive, just close your mind to it. Do not dwell on anything negative.

Unnecessary confrontations and arguments should be avoided if at all possible. You will gain nothing from them except a bad feeling. Apologise to anybody you may upset as soon as possible. This will make you feel good about yourself and avoid any guilty feelings. You will also make friends.

Achieving high self-esteem is vital to your well being and it will not be achieved in one go. You should look upon it as a journey in which you are about to take the first step. Do not try to rush things. Make small advances and build the foundations of your self-confidence and self-esteem. Reward yourself in some small way for every landmark task you complete. By following these simple guide lines and ideas, you will achieve your feeling of good self-confidence and high self-esteem in time.

Low self-esteem can ruin peoples lives:but it can be overcome. http://www.raiseurselfesteem.com

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Self Acceptance

May 3, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Kate Irwin -

It isn’t always easy to accept who or what we are. We all like to imagine ourselves through the lens of an ideal type rather than picturing our flaws and weaknesses. Of course, the truth is, people, including you, are not perfect. Being human means we make mistakes, period! Rather than dwelling on your errors of judgment, you need to become proactive in learning from mistakes. Like all animals, human beings learn through a process of trial and error. To get hung up on making a mistake is to be hung up on being a human being.

So, the first step to self acceptance is to accept that you are fallible along with everyone else. Incorporating self accepting beliefs into your life can make a real difference to your lifestyle. You become encouraged to correct past mistakes or previous shortcomings on the principle that mistakes happen but can be rectified. Self acceptance grants you a margin of error. When problems occur, you can experience appropriate and proportionate negative emotions and then move on. It stands to reason that you are far more likely to solve a problem if you are not suffering emotional distress.

Everything from your skills through to your little flaws is what makes you. Although you should be serious about being the best you can be do not take this to mean you have to take yourself too seriously, for this is not constructive for good mental health.

Much of what makes people endearing are their little foibles, idiosyncrasies that mark them out as special. When we witness these things in other people we find them endearing so give yourself the benefit of the doubt, after all, no one is perfect, right?

Don’t fall into the trap of giving up on trying anything new just because one new thing you tried did not work.

The most interesting people tend to have encountered a few hurdles to overcome in their life time; it is what gives them character. If you can view all of your failures and successes as essential to your character, then you are a far sturdier, resilient individual.

You know how the more you practice something the more natural it becomes? Well, practicing a belief is no different. The more you rehearse being self-accepting, the more you laugh at the silly things that you do, the more times you visualise being adaptive, you will become more like that type of person. Rehearsing an event in your mind makes you that much more prepared for dealing with it.

For a complimentary report and workbook on how to improve your confidence instantly and permanently please visit http://www.improvedconfidence.com to download straight away.

Why wait? Take action now to improve your life today!

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Where Do You Get Your Self Esteem?

April 29, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Cara Lumen -

Instead of looking for self-esteem in what you own, look for it in what you do.

My friend has several home improvement projects in mind and was worried about which one to choose and what it would cost. I asked her “Why are these choices important to you?” and she said, “I need them to boost my self esteem.” Where do you get your self-esteem?

Self-esteem comes from within

It’s not about the power suit or the great hair cut – those may be confidence builders, but self-esteem is about what you think about yourself. It’s about how much you love yourself, how good a person you try to be. Self-esteem comes with how you conduct yourself. It comes from the choices you make and how you show up in your world. Your feelings of self-worth come from within. Your self-respect comes only from how you perceive yourself. Can you look in your mirror and say, “I love you.”?

Don’t be fooled by the outer trimmings

Have you ever met someone who presented a good image but wasn’t a very nice person to know? All the trappings in the world won’t make that person more likeable. Are all pretty people likeable? Are all unattractive people unlikeable? Of course not. It’s what’s within that counts. The size of your house or the quality of your clothes are just trimmings. The important “you” is in your smile, your kind eyes and your appreciative laughter. How is your inside showing up on the outside?

How can you increase your self-worth?

Money, or the lack of it, can be a great leveler. I know a community of retired senior women who live their lives with very little money. Their apartments are all the same size; their incomes are all about the same as in not very much, so they are valued for their friendships, their common interests and their contributions to their community. What they do or don’t own is totally irrelevant to who they are. You can improve your feelings of self-worth by acknowledging the gifts of others, by helping those around you, by being kind and helpful, and by acknowledging the gifts of their being that every person brings to you.

How do you show up in your world?

If the Universe started giving out gold stars, it wouldn’t be for the furniture in your house or the clothes on your back. It would be for what you do for others, how you respond to them, how you support them, how you laugh and love with them.

You are perfect just the way you are and who you are and what you do is much more important to others than the paint job on your house.

2012 Cara Lumen

Cara Lumen, Your Idea Optimizer keeps you passionately on purpose and helps you build your successful business from your inside out. A Business Coach, Content Developer and Educator her Magnetic Marketing Method Program takes you step by step through the steps you need to succeed. http://www.caralumen.com

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Magnetic Self-Esteem

April 8, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Steven Handel -

You can tell when someone is comfortable in their own skin. It resonates from their character and in everything that persons says and does. A person with healthy self-esteem doesn’t have to boast or show-off their talents and skills, they act with modesty because they rarely feel they have anything to prove. Their sense of gratification is mostly internal, but their external behaviors reveal a bold and confident persona, a person that is equally comfortable with both their strengths and their flaws.

I find myself often attracted to these kinds of people. Not in a sexual way, of course, but in a way that I wish to be more like them. They have an authentic sense of self-worth. They are confident in their abilities and their resilience when things get tough. They are masters of themselves, and as such there is always something new to learn from them and apply to your own life.

Recognizing your own unique value to the world, whatever that may be, can motivate you to exercise your gifts and take pride in your accomplishments. And that pride can be contagious to whoever watches you succeed.

People like people who believe in themselves. We often seek to be more self-dependent just like them, and we find ourselves inspired by the way they carry themselves.

Some of my own inspirations include entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuck, personal development guru Steve Pavlina, writer Ayn Rand, and musician Maynard James Keenan (from the band Tool). These are just a handful of the many personalities in my life who have taken pride in their craft, and in return accomplished things that were later beloved by many. Who has influenced you in your life?

Having a mentor who exhibits this kind of self-worth can help you build strong character for yourself. When you relate to others who overcome struggles and later triumph, you can borrow that energy to help fuel your own endeavors. A recent study in social psychology showed that role models work best during times when we can relate to them. So find yourself a mentor or two, and then find the parallels between their story and yours (I personally try to find inspiration in every success story I hear).

In one story, we see how Bruce Lee’s confidence in himself spills over into his confidence in others. When his friend says, “If I run anymore I am liable to have a heart-attack and die,” Bruce responds, “then die.” He would rather his friend die trying to achieve his maximum potential, then live constantly selling himself short. The friend took this as a challenge and found the power to run the full 5 miles. Lee’s response motivated the friend to do something they previously thought was impossible. By the end of it, the friend walked away feeling like a better person – that’s the effect magnetic self-esteem can have on another person.

Before we can share self-esteem, we have to have it ourselves. And once we do, we can become an endless source of inspiration for others.

One of the key ideas here is that the benefits of self-esteem stretch far greater than our narrow ego – I’ve used words like “magnetic” and contagious” to help illustrate this point.

One area I’ve been trying to build self-esteem in is entrepreneurship and self-employment. You can imagine how much confidence it takes to build a product or service that others will find valuable. If you think you can’t do it, you’ll never finish it, because you’ll always feel you are inadequate or “not good enough.”

Barbara Winter touches on this very concept in her book “Making A Living Without A Job.” She stresses that self-esteem has a consequence on our actions, and that a person with high self-esteem is often more compassionate toward others. Because the esteemed person can already sufficiently take care of their own needs, they can now focus more on the needs of others. Self-esteem thus enables us to work with others more effectively (this is something important to both business and life in general):

“While it may be intangible, self esteem is not invisible. It’s easy to spot people who have high self-esteem by their behavior. Chances are that the people you most like being with possess it in abundance. These people are frequently described as ‘gracious’ and ‘thoughtful,’ which makes them desirable as friends.

They love and care of themselves, but they are not arrogant. They have compassion for others, which rises out of their compassion for themselves. Since few of us arrive at a place of healthy self-esteem by accident or birth, these folks may be constantly aware of their own struggle to achieve it – and their ongoing effort to nurture it.”

I think Winter’s is right. People who have authentic self-esteem build stronger relationships with others. They don’t view everyone as a threat, so they are willing to help people instead of break them down. When we are confident enough in our own abilities, we are comfortable helping others build their own strengths and overcome their own weaknesses, without worrying that we are making ourselves look worse. That’s a very enchanting quality to have.

People like people who make them feel good about themselves. If being with a person inspires you to be a better person, by most accounts you will want to keep them as a worthy friend. So I think it is important to remember that self-esteem is not only something that is good for ourselves, but also something good for society at large. We should all strive to feel more comfortable in our own skin.

Steven Handel is a blogger on psychology and personal development that practices what he preaches. Check out more of his psychology and personal development articles.

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What Is Self Awareness?

April 1, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Anita Narayan -

Self awareness is an essential skill when it comes to personal growth and success.

In fact it is like a foundation stone out of which a lot of things build. Self awareness is so important that it can often be the difference between reaction and response, constraint and problem solving, creativity and rigidity to name but a few.

Whether you are looking to learn more about your mind, heart and emotions, your capacity for self awareness will increase your understanding and your ability to translate that understanding to your life in an effective way.

So what is self awareness? Simply put it is the act and process of observing yourself, and how you interact with your environment, including situations and other people.

It involves noticing and acknowledging how things impact you and vice versa. In other words it is an interactive, two way process of noticing influence and impact.

How To Increase Self Awareness

The simple way to increase self awareness is firstly to direct your attention to yourself in a chosen situation. It can be any situation of your choosing, for example sitting alone in silence. Secondly notice your emotions, your thoughts, your spirit and your physical experience.

In the example above [sitting alone in silence] you may experience physical restlessness, mind chatter, tension and general discomfort. It may happen immediately or after 5 minutes.

You may then want to choose an opposite scenario [sitting in a noisy environment] for sheer contrast and to gauge the scope of your experience.

You can increase self awareness through direct experience, or from a certain level of knowledge acquired in theory. In essence it is about the process of increasing your perception and knowledge of yourself.

This leads nicely onto the consideration of what makes for effective self-awareness. There are three key areas to consider.

1. Perception

Perception is an integral part of the process of self awareness and by definition it is about a view point rather than a fact.

The way to increase perception and become more perceptive is to view yourself from as many different angles as possible, and notice the subtle nuances that go to make you who you are.

One way to increase the different angles from which you view yourself is through the use of different and incisive questions.

For example ‘when I am at my most stressful state how does it manifest?’ and ‘what conditions cause me to feel highly stressed?’ ‘What enables me to feel in control?’

2. Accurate Reflection

There is a difference between these two statements:-

‘I am depressed’ and ‘I feel depressed’. In the first statement the person is equating themselves to depression. In effect they are saying that they personify depression.

In the second statement the person is describing the emotion they are feeling as opposed to identifying with the state.

The first statement is a judgemental statement and an inaccurate statement if what the person is really trying to do is describe their feeling, rather than saying who they are.

3. Application of Self Knowledge

Self awareness is ultimately about self knowledge, but self knowledge is not enough if you do nothing with it. Applied knowledge is what makes a difference to your life.

In that the perceptual process is about a view point, it does not necessarily represent truth and fact. Therefore it is important when observing and noticing yourself, that you do so without judgement.

Judgement by its nature tends to suppress any resourcefulness. Without resourcefulness self awareness loses its purpose.

Meditation is a process that is both effective in increasing self-awareness and resourcefulness. This is a potent combination because self awareness on its own is without effect unless it translates into growth and effects change.

There are two aspects to meditation that help this to happen. Firstly the direction of attention to self as described above.

The second stage goes beyond that focussed awareness, to finding the space between the observations, thoughts and feelings, referred to as going into the emptiness. The act of creating internal space via letting go, rather than dwelling on our observations, is what creates resourcefulness and new solutions.

The concept is akin to having a clear out or a declutter of stuff you have accrued over a period of time that you no longer have need of. The idea is that when you create space, by letting go of old stuff, new things can enter that space.

Ultimately the increase of self knowledge leads to more possibilities and choices for your life that you will not perceive otherwise, unless you engage with the process.

So whether through meditation or other practice, make self awareness an essential part of your personal development.

Anita Narayan is a highly endorsed author, speaker and coach. She is soon to release her book Breaking Free From The Prison Of Survival which has received top industry endorsement http://www.mypersonalbestcoaching.com

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: self improvement, self acceptance, self awareness, Self Esteem

Who Am I? A Crisis for All Ages

March 25, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Stephen Laurence Adams -

It sounds like a childishly simple question with an obvious answer. But is it? The only way to know is to ask yourself, and listen carefully to your answer.

Titles such as “Husband”, “Mother”, “Student”, are easy replies. But do these titles actually define who you are at the core? Have you always been a husband or a mother? These are definitions we adopt in an effort to define our relationship to others and society. They provide a comforting identity, and help to steer each moment of our day within predictable boundaries.

The topic of mid-life crises has been discussed and researched at great length. It has become a hallmark of the “Baby Boomer” generation’s later-life confrontation with the insufficiency of archetypal definitions.

Empty Nest Syndrome is another studied phenomenon that results from the last child leaving home for a life of their own. Typically an issue for mothers, it can actually occur with nearly any uncontrollable shift in domestic identity; male or female.

Less studied is the lament of many college-aged students, as they search for an identity through the classes they take; the major they declare; the friends they keep; and the career they attempt to launch. It’s a painful and confusing process that can feel like you’re wearing a big sign proclaiming immaturity, low self-esteem, or just lost.

“Boomers” are living longer and healthier than their parents, and the cascading changes the world is undergoing, raises the need to understand one’s relevance to a new paradigm. Somewhere embedded in “Who am I”, is the answer to the disquieting sense that the old stereotypes are no longer useful or true.

There are always a few in anyone’s sphere of friends and acquaintances who seem have “found their calling” at an early age. Why these fortunate few have been blessed with such clarity, is neither understood nor studied. But instead of thinking of these people as somehow better than or more fortunate than you, consider that they may never have the clarity or growth that comes from struggling to find the answer.

Most, who confront the question for whatever reason, draw a disquieting blank. If I’m not what I always thought I was, then am I nothing? Perhaps buying a Corvette will help. Or something by Gucci could create an identity. A great deal of humor has been lobbed at the mid-life sufferer, but as you ponder this question for yourself, perhaps you’ll find compassion for the confused seeker. It’s not a laughing matter when it hurts.

Each of us becomes aware of “being” at a very early age through interaction with our environment. Hopefully, we learn we’re loved and protected. We learn we belong to a small group called “family”. And so it goes in life as we add more and more external evidence that creates identity.

If you’re uncertain of the validity of your identity, put it to the test. Consider what happens when you learn your parents are divorcing. Here then is a significant change in identity, because you are no longer a member of a family. This is one reason why divorces can be devastating to young people who have not yet launched a life of their own. They rely upon their identity as son or daughter in order to know who they are.

Is our identity the result of accumulated assumptions accrued throughout life? Consider for a moment that at each stage of life, identity markers served an important purpose. Sometimes they’re bad, but more often they’re an essential stabilizing force.

Life is an evolution of perception and understanding. Only when abrupt or dramatic changes happen, are we shaken. Most of us handle a gentle evolution in stride, and easily find elements of comfort in a newly altered identity. So we know we can make changes to our identity, and we’re not stuck with the accumulated assumptions of life thus far.

How then, might one look for the markers of one’s true identity. It’s actually easier than might appear on the surface. It begins by looking for answers at the most fundamental level, and will involve multiple answers.

Question: Who am I?

Answer: I am a person with a strong work ethic

Answer: I am a person who loves playing baseball

Answer: I am a person who finds fulfillment in caring for others

Answer: I enjoy social encounters

The serious seeker of answers to this question may want to make a flip-chart on which answers are written over a period of days. Keep the answers simple, and always go in search to the deepest feelings. Stand back from the flip chart and look at the whole as a test of whether your answers are at the core, and not built upon assumptions you felt life demanded of you. This is about being truthful about you.

When the list is as complete as you can make it, look for the common thread that connects each one with the other. Using the four answers above, you might see that you value honesty, teamwork, compassion, and community.

Next, rate each answer with the amount of time you spend each day, engaged in expressing that value. Ideally, you should be spending 65% of each day finding satisfaction in one or more of these core sentiments.

If you’re not meeting that 65% threshold, consider changing one thing about your day that will nudge you closer to the ideal. It might be as simple as rearranging your daily routine to make it more efficient, allowing you to indulge in satisfying activities.

You may also decide that some answers you’re not that proud of. For these, you may want to seek advice about how to make changes. Only when we are living the majority of our answers, are we truthful to ourselves, others, and in harmony with the innate need to express ourselves.

Humans have the greatest capacity to spontaneously adapt their behavior, of any life form. And at the same time, fear curtails much or most of that flexibility. Understanding how fear works is a significant component to making changes.

Most of us emerged from childhood believing that if we’re perfect, we have nothing to fear. But as your perception of the world embraces more possibilities of what can go wrong, fear intrudes, creating a hapless victim of life. Perfection, no longer saves the day.

In today’s focus on child welfare, abuse is the primary marker for intervention. Thankfully, as a society, we seem to be making inroads into identifying child abuse methods for intervening. Shielding a child against further injury is an essential part of our social and moral obligations.

But what about the abuse inflicted by the process of living? There are many ways by which we can feel victimized by life. Disease, poverty, oppression, and discrimination are just a few. Who do we arrest, sue, or slug to stop the faceless oppressor of our life? It would probably feel wonderful if there were some action we could take to seek justice.

The “court” for litigating this, is inside each of us. That part of litigation called “Discovery” is where you are right now. As the Defendant, witnessing to the inventory of your personal profile, you create the clarity necessary to evince your innocence and abiding perfection.

This empowers you to “make a deal” with the District Attorney. By making changes in accordance with your true nature as testified in “court”, the D.A. will cease and desist. Everyone wins.

The gulf between what we think we need to be and what we truly are is fertile ground for the seeds of victimization by life. When life doesn’t provide the response we expect from a false identity, we perceive victimization by a power much greater than ourselves.

Walking through life is a journey of discovery, change, and courage. Remove fear from each one of these, and you can relax the grasp on that which is false and no longer seen as true. The first step in removing fear, is to answer the question, “Who am I?”

Steve Adams is a veteran of diverse career paths spanning more than forty years. The author of numerous record reviews and self-improvement articles, he is also a storyteller, humorist, and philosopher.

Website http://stephenladams.com

Blog http://steveincarmel.wordpress.com/

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Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: self improvement, Self Esteem, self identity, Who am I

Positive Self Esteem Is The Immune System Of The Soul

March 16, 2012 By Admin 1 Comment

By Tyler Woods -

Low self-esteem does not have to be part of your life. You can improve your self-esteem and feel better about who you are and what you desire in life. Having positive self-esteem is all in your power. I know that saying you have the power to have positive self-esteem might sound impossible to you, but the truth is, positive self-esteem is achievable if you want to achieve it. I will not kid you though; it takes practices and persistence.

Positive self-esteem is the immune system of the soul or spirit so speak. When this part of your immune system is healthy, you begin to have a great defense toward the negativity in your life. That is because positive self-esteem is your heart and soul in action. It is the belief we need in order to feel good about who we are.

Healthy self-esteem leads to independence, happiness, flexibility, the ability to adapt easily to change, co-operation and a positive outlook on any situation. Unhealthy or low self-esteem on the other hand leads only to irrational thoughts, unhappiness, and fear of the new, rigidity, defensiveness and a negative outlook on life in general.

Somewhere along the line, we began to believe we were not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough resulting in poor self-esteem. Core beliefs about who you are can have an important effect on your personal worth. You may have some beliefs that are not conducive to a healthy image and are not encouraging a healthy personal value. Beliefs are subtle but powerful; they tie us up in knots until we are so caught in our own self that we believe these beliefs define who we are or who we aren’t. Sometimes we need to change our belief systems in order to move ahead and grow.

We form a belief based on something that was told to us either by someone like a parent, teacher, friend, relative, or our own self. Your belief system gives you a framework that helps you interpret and understand the experiences you face in life. A belief is something you accept as truth. This means you can expect that every day it will seem just as true as it was the day before. As part of your overall belief system you may have developed negative beliefs about yourself. To rebuild our self-esteem requires that we dismantle our limiting beliefs about ourselves and find a way to change how we link pain and pleasure to our life experiences.

Offering ourselves positive self-affirmations is another way to dismantle negative beliefs about ourselves. Positive affirmations can help replace negative thoughts that help create low self-esteem. Affirmations are a key ingredient to changing old belief systems and negative self-thoughts. Affirmations allow us to say wonderful things about ourselves and believe in them. Affirmations help replace a negative with a positive thus building better esteem.

Out of all the judgments we make on a daily basis, I believe that no judgment is more important than those we make about ourselves. This evaluation we make on ourselves directly affects the way we act and react, the way we love ourselves and others, the values we choose, the people we hang out with, and the goals we set. Our belief system about our own self determines how we meet the challenges that we must face daily, and the key to our basic beliefs is feeling worthy of happiness.

Low self-esteem does not have to be part of your life. One of life’s greatest gifts comes when we realize that we have the power to make our own choices in directing our lives. You can improve your self-esteem and feel better about who you are and what you desire in life by just using simple tools that can help you feel good about you.

Be sure to visit Building Self-Esteem to download the free building self-esteem ebook. Also available is our interactive Self Esteem Worksheets.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tyler_Woods
http://EzineArticles.com/?Positive-Self-Esteem-Is-The-Immune-System-Of-The-Soul&id=6926409

Filed Under: Self Esteem Tagged With: raise your self-esteem, Self Esteem, self esteem and the soul

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