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9 Tips for Finding Joy From Within

December 17, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Sheila Viers -

“You will find your joy when you stop looking for it outside yourself and instead look within.”

It’s so tempting to give people or circumstances credit for how you feel, isn’t it? It seems logical-things happen, you think about and process them, and then you feel a certain way because of it, right? That’s the way human beings work.

But maybe that’s not true. Imagine what it would feel like to take total responsibility for the way you feel… for the thoughts you choose to think and the emotions you choose to hold your focus on.

What would it be like to always know that no matter what, you have the power to choose to feel joy?

This is what “finding your joy within” means. It means that it’s no one else’s responsibility to make you happy. It means that even in what might seem to be the toughest of circumstances, you can look for things to focus on that will help you to feel better. Here are 9 tips to help you find joy from within

1. Make lists daily of the things in your life that you appreciate.

And make the list because you truly want to make it and because you really do appreciate these things. This isn’t something that you can just go through the motions and get the benefit from it. You’ve got to hit pause on everything else, clear your mind, take a deep breath and think about what you really appreciate right now today.

2. Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it.

Make a commitment to yourself to stop looking for reasons, blaming, or making mental lists of excuses as to why you aren’t happy. Take your power back.

3. Look at challenges through the lens of: “what does this help me to clarify about what I want for my life?” Keep your focus on the answer.

Every challenge is an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and what we really want. Give your challenges an imaginary hug and thank them for the chance to gain more clarity about yourself and your preferences for your life.

4. Adopt the affirmation: “things are always working out for me-whether I see the path right now or not.”

It feels good just to say that doesn’t it? You can’t help but have amazing things happen when you adopt this attitude.

5. Let go of worrying about the “what ifs” and trying to control.

Worrying, what-iffing, and trying to control from a forceful stance is silly. Just let go, go with the flow, and allow things to unfold. Take one step at a time, on a moment by moment basis toward what feels best based on the information you have right now. You might be surprised how well things can work out on their own when you let them.

6. Take care of yourself first, then others.

It sounds like a selfish thing to say, but when you are well taken care of, you have more to offer others.

7. Evaluate, measure, compare less… a lot less.

Let your intuition guide you toward the things that fit you best rather than what you think you should do and/or what everybody else is doing.

8. Find positive things about yourself and celebrate them-be satisfied with who you are right now.

You are amazing right here and now in this moment. Own it. Flaunt it. BE IT. Not because you are trying to impress anyone, but because you deserve to experience what it feels like to completely love yourself. You don’t need to change one thing in order to be perfect and worthy of happiness.

9. Embrace the journey.

When you look back at the end of your life, many of the things you thought were huge struggles could actually be seen as adventures on the ride of life. It might seem odd to think of it that way, especially for those of us that want to achieve, prove, create results, make change for a better world… but it really does get you thinking-what’s the point of it all anyway? It’s not really to lose 5 pounds or fit into your favorite pair of jeans, is it? Or in more general terms, we aren’t here to prove. Give yourself a break and enjoy the ride. Expand, learn, grow, interact, love, and experience life.

About the Author

Sheila Viers is the author of The Eat Well 360 (for the Rest of Your Life) Diet and Co-founder of Live Well 360, whose mission is to inspire you to see health and fitness as something you get to do, rather than something you have to do.

Best known for her uplifting perspective on healthy living, Sheila and many of her articles have been featured on health and fitness publications including Yahoo! Shine, Glo MSN, FITNESS Magazine, LiveStrong, FitSugar, Under30CEO, and FigureAthlete.

To learn more about how Sheila transformed her life and her relationship with food, visit eatwell360.com.

To check out the Live Well 360 line of premium fitness and yoga bags go to livewell360.com.

You can also say hello to Sheila on Twitter at @sheilaviers.

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What Does Self-Esteem Really Mean to You?

December 15, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Patricia Anaya -

I deserve only good things, so nothing bad can happen to me!

These days, we hear the term self-esteem every day. We relate to it and most of us know what it means because we’ve heard about it since we were kids. At least one of our teachers tried to explain what it means and how we can develop very good self-esteem. They told us that self-esteem is one of the most important things to have if we want to be happy. We are grownups now; if we go back to our school years, we realize that maybe we didn’t understand the concept behind the term self-esteem, because our lives don’t reflect a realistic respect for ourselves.

What does self-esteem really mean?If we focused on these two words, the first word is self, which means your own reflective consciousness; in other words, it means my OWN person. The second word is esteem, which means respect and admiration. If we put together the two words, it means “my own respect and admiration.” But the term self-esteem is much more than that. Self-esteem is how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It is how much confidence and capability you think you have. It is feeling good and comfortable doing what you want to do. It is the ability to feel good and have fun. It is giving yourself permission to enjoy your life and to feel and embrace all your emotions, including fear, frustration, anger, and others. Your self-esteem is a complete detailed picture of you, it is your self-image. How do you see yourself? What do you think about yourself? What do you feel about yourself? That is your self-esteem!

If you want to know more about your self, answering these questions may help you. It is very important that you have a piece of paper and a pen to answer them.

How much do you love yourself?Loving yourself means that you accept yourself completely. See yourself without any judgment or recrimination. Accept all the good qualities (of course you have them!) and work on the ones you want to improve. Nobody is perfect, but everybody has positive qualities, you just need to look inside you. Ask people who know and appreciate you to help you find your strengths. Make a list of all the qualities you have and read it every day. And make another list with the things you want to improve and work on that every day.

How much do you believe in yourself?Every person believes in themselves, what do you believe about you? Write down everything you believe about yourself, positive and negative. Then, on another piece of paper, write on the left side all the positive beliefs and on the right side the negative ones. The negative ones are limited beliefs that you need to change, things like “I don’t deserve to be happy,” “I don’t like my body,” “People don’t like me,”… and others that are stopping your happiness. You need to replace your limited beliefs with empowering beliefs because they are a very important part of your self-esteem.

How much do you respect yourself?If you notice that other people don’t respect you it is because you don’t respect yourself. The most important thing is your own respect. The way you treat yourself others will treat you. You deserve only good things and you are capable to get them as soon as you believe and respect yourself. Be aware of the words you say to you. What is your self-talk every day, do you use empowering or dis-empowering words?

How much do you admire and value yourself?You are the most important person in this world! Create an ideal-ME with a specific vision and work on it every day. You are very valuable; this world wouldn’t be the same without you. You are in this world for a reason and you have an important mission. It is your responsibility to find and accomplish it. Congratulate yourself for every little (big) accomplishment every day.

How much do you accept yourself?Accepting yourself is very different from resignation and not doing anything to improve your life. Accepting yourself means being happy and able to enjoy every day of your life, but at the same time it requires you to be honest with yourself and seek opportunities to grow and improve things. For example, if you are not happy with your body, the first step is to accept and love your body as it is. Learn how to feel good and appreciate your body. When you feel good your body and mind work together and react better to how you’re improving your body, such as exercise, dieting, and others.

You need to be very honest with yourself when you answer these questions. When you read your answers you will discover that you have qualities, talents, and reasons to celebrate your life. At the same time you will find your limited beliefs that are stopping you to grow and be happy, so know you are ready to clean them and reprogram new ones.

Now that you have a better idea about yourself, you are ready to improve your self-esteem. Here are three steeps that you can do:

- Heal and release your past.It is very important to close your past circles and live in the present. If you are living in the past (or in the future) you are wasting your time and losing your focus. The past is already done and we cannot do anything to change it, but if we don’t let it go, our past experiences are controlling our now and ruining our life. A good exercise to heal your life is to write down on a piece of paper the details of one bad past experience. Write about all your negative feelings and emotions. You can write names if you want. Let go of everything you’re holding inside. When you finish, burn the paper. Breathe slowly three to five times, take another piece of paper and write what you learn from this experience. Everything has two sides, it depends how you see it. Focus your mind on seeing the good side of the event. Forgive yourself and others. Everybody makes mistakes. Write grateful affirmations because you are alive and great things are coming to you. Maybe you will need to repeat this exercise a few times to heal yourself, just don’t do it that same day.

- Evaluate your present.Ask yourself, how do I feel right now?

What is missing in my life today? Maybe you are not living the life you want, maybe you feel frustrated, depressed, stressed or dissatisfied with your life. Realize that you are here to be happy no matter what and if you are not living the life you want, you need to make changes. You are the creator of your life and only YOU can change it when you take responsibility.

- Look for your ideal future.The first question here is what do you really want to do with your life? How does your ideal-life look like? If you can describe it in detail and visualize your ideal life, it will be easier to accomplish it. What are the things you need to change to get what you want? Remember that you are in charge of your life and you are a creator, so if you can create your ideal life in your mind you can bring it to reality and live the life you deserve.

The next time you hear the term self-esteem, think about your inner self, because your self-esteem is YOU. The complete picture of you, your self-image has a big impact on your reality. It gives you the power to love, believe and accept yourself completely and create the life you deserve.

Patricia Anaya is an Author, Speaker, Life Coach and Creative Director. Her new book for children “The Three Powers, Magic to Love Yourself! was published on 11/11/11 ( http://www.TheThreePowers.com ). The Three Powers, Magic to Love Yourself! teaches children the principles to love themselves and to develop their own ability to make good friends and be happy. Patricia is the creator of brainywoman.com, has a passion for creating projects that help people, especially women and children. “brainywoman.com opens up a lot of possibilities to touch women’s lives and help them to improve self-esteem.

Don’t forget to visit http://www.brainywoman.com to find more inspirational and practical articles like this. “Learn how to create the life you deserve by focusing your words, thoughts, feelings and emotions.”

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Selfishness Vs Self Esteem

November 21, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Nick Arrizza -

Have you ever been confused between those choices that are “selfish” and those that boost your “self esteem”?

You’ve probably heard yourself or others making a choice that was supposed to make you feel better about yourself, i.e. boost your self esteem, only to follow it up with a statement like “well I know that perhaps that’s selfish, but it’s a good selfish, and I’m going to do it anyway”

You see there’s a deep confusion between these two concepts in the minds of many. Some may even wonder if they are even separable, correct?

Well I would like to say that not only are they separable, they are diametrically opposite entities that actually originate from very different forces within us. To confuse them for each other only serves to severely undermine your happiness and good feelings about yourself and who you really are.

Let’s look closely at them.

Selfishness is often associated with negative feelings i.e. like you’re taking something that doesn’t belong to you, undeserving, feelings of low self worth, guilt, self loathing, disgust, nervousness or anxiety, fear of being found out or judged and generally makes you feel badly about yourself. That is it brings you self esteem down!

Self Esteem on the other hand is associated with feelings of lightness, joy, liking one’s self, inner peace, self worth, self acceptance, an I’m OK feeling, happiness, and self confidence, resilience, attractive to others and to one’s self. This is the essence of loving one’s self or having high self esteem.

So why are they ever confused with each other?

Well largely because when you carry within you negative memories where you may have been punished, abused, or judged harshly you then acquire a negative attitude towards yourself that gets stored deep within you. This creates an associated deep unmet need for self appreciation and self validation. You see, without having such validation or appreciation for one’s self life would feel almost intolerable. One would feel totally unworthy, undeserving, depressed and the meaning in life would evaporate.

These needs for self acceptance or validation will spur actions that attempt to restore one’s overall self esteem. Unfortunately because the “need” is held in place, so to speak, by the negative memories I mentioned earlier, the individual will always feel unworthy, even if the needs are met.

So even if they are met the individual cannot own them fully. That is because their early experience has imprinted them with an image of themselves as a person who is “not deserving” of such accolades. So when they are seemingly met the individual will always feel as if they are being “selfish” i.e. getting something that they don’t deserve.

Under such situations self esteem is severely limited and that only deepens the need for self acceptance and validation i.e. makes them more desperate to have them met. As the negative self image is still unconsciously active however a fulfillment of such needs will again be met with a stiff “punishment” i.e. feeling selfish.

There is a way to get around this problem and release one from the inner bondage they are experiencing. That is to completely release the negative memories altogether. Interestingly this not only erases the need altogether it also automatically restores one’s right to self appreciation and validation i.e. boosts their self esteem!

This is possible with a new coaching modality which I have written about extensively here. If you’d like to know more kindly visit the web link below where you can download a free audio radio show or request a free 1 hour introductory telephone consultation.

Nick Arrizza MD, a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is an International Life, Executive, Organizational Tele-Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker, Trainer and Facilitator. He is also on Faculty at Akamai University in Hawaii. He is the CEO and Founder of Arrizza Performance Coaching Inc. and the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process� (MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone Consultation is available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011 – Self Love

August 30, 2011 By Leave a Comment

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

-  Buddha

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Forgiveness – It’s Complicated

July 27, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Ruth Gordon -

Why is forgiveness so difficult? There are those who say they forgive easily, but, I’m not sure I always believe that. When we say, “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget”, what, exactly does that mean?

Forgiving does not mean that we’re saying that what harmed us is okay. It does not mean that we have to like the person, or persons, we are attempting to forgive. I think Oprah said it best when she said, “Just because you forgive somebody doesn’t mean that you have to eat potato salad with them”.

Now, I don’t claim to be an expert on this subject, but, it’s something I have had to grapple with both personally and professionally. So, I will just voice my opinion.

It gets confusing when we proclaim that we forgive for our own benefit, not the well-being of another. It’s hard to know what that really means. I can tell you that I have worked with many, many people who harbor and hold on to their resentment for a very, very long time. It is true that such an individual believes he/she has been wounded. What is often not understood is that as we are batting around old injuries, we are keeping them alive. Why do some of us insist on newly and continually reliving old heartaches?

One explanation is that a negative attachment may feel better than no attachment at all. Especially when a significant person or issue in our lives is trampled on, we may nurse it, go over it, do just about anything to avoid letting go of it. Why? Because we feel too empty when we just let go. We attempt to avoid the grief that inevitably follows such a discharge, often by denying that grief has anything to do with the situation. As long as the issue is kept alive, we believe, consciously or unconsciously, that we are dispensing with the inevitable feelings of loss.

I don’t think that I have ever met an individual who doesn’t have some sort of fear of abandonment. We may dread being discarded or being the one who does the letting go. These issues are painful and it us understandable that we want to avoid entering that arena.

One of the problems is that the break has occurred whether or not we choose to acknowledge it. The longer we hold on to the illusion of attachment the longer it releases toxins into our systems. It’s like being hurt by another and swallowing battery acid ourselves in response. Of course it makes no sense, but we are human and are likely to follow this course at some point in our lives.

We know we have achieved forgiveness when we reach the point of indifference as to the comings and goings, fortunes and misfortunes of the person who has harmed us. When we really believe that it is too much trouble to invest emotion into or become unduly interested in such a person’s life, we have made the leap and relinquished the connection.

It feels good to boot trouble out of our lives. It may take us a while to get there, but there is a great deal of relief that accompanies just not caring. We have more energy to put into activities that are meaningful in our lives as well as the people who sustain us.

After we have let go of hurt, regret, shame and disappointment, our self-esteem grows and we learn to trust that we can take good care of ourselves. This self-trust is an essential element in adult mental health. We need to believe that we can depend on ourselves as well as others. The more we know who we really are, the better the likelihood that we will make decisions that serve us well. Taking an unflinching look at ourselves, accepting our limitations and foibles as part of being human and maintaining self-love is exactly where we want to be.

Once we have extricated ourselves from a noxious attachment we are in a position to recognize that what makes this event so poisonous is that, some part of us bought into the notion that we had done something wrong, that our failings caused the outcome. Well if that’s the case, let’s learn from it and move on. It is important to realize, however, that we do not choose another person’s behavior — that is their responsibility.

When we burden ourselves with the ideal of personal perfection, we become self-punishing and judgmental. What a waste! We, ultimately, are our own, faltering selves trying to build the best possible lives that we can achieve. When you start forgiving yourself for your imperfections it becomes much easier to forgive others.

Unless you begin to grow angel wings, embrace your humanity and rejoice in the life you live.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

Catherine Ponder

Monthly newsletter for FREE. Just contact me or go to my website at: http://www.foreverfabulousyou.com and click on “Newsletters” — there’s over 6 years’ worth right on the site. Timely observations on daily life to encourage you to think, maybe laugh, maybe feel nostalgic. Whatever you feel it will have relevance in your life. Enjoy!

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Are You Happy to Be You?

July 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Susan Russo -

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain

Why are people so hard on themselves? Why do we beat the living crap out of ourselves about every little thing and then wonder why we’re not happy? Isn’t it sad when you hear about a person who has been abused by someone they love?

No one deserves to be treated poorly, disrespected, talked down to and beaten down, not even you. So why on earth do people do it to themselves? Learning to love yourself may sound cliche, but it’s the single most important factor in building your confidence and self-esteem.

If you stop for a second and listen to the self-deprecating way you talk to yourself or how you continually criticize yourself, is it any wonder you feel bad about who you are? There isn’t anyone on the planet that’s perfect. We all have our flaws, but we also all have our strengths, our blessings and our inner beauty.

Focusing on everything you hate or dislike about yourself is like a nagging old bitty constantly beating a dead horse. Give it up! Lay off!

If you were witnessing someone being mistreated you would want to come to their rescue and tell the bully to go crawl back under the rock they came from. Well then, there are times when you are that bully inflicting mean, hurtful words upon yourself, your own self-torture.

Instead, make a list of the things that you have to be thankful for and begin to see that there are many blessing you’ve been given that you may have chosen to ignore.

You have qualities that are unique from others and that is where you need to focus your thoughts. There are things about you that make you special.

Every time you start to find fault, i.e. I’m too fat, too old, too short, too tall. I’m too shy, I can’t make friends, No one ever likes me, I’m dumb, I can’t talk in front of people, I’ll never succeed etc., ask this question, why am I being so mean to myself?

What good does it do to talk to myself in such a cruel way? Would you ever talk to someone you loved that way? Then why not start to love yourself a little bit more each day?

Treat yourself, as you would someone you love. Don’t allow that bully in you to keep putting you down. If you do, you are approaching your life with the wrong attitude. You are being abusive and unkind to YOU!

Instead, say, “I’m not that bad. There may be things I don’t like about myself but in all in all, I’m a good person.” Then start to acknowledge those qualities that you do possess, i.e. I’m funny, I’m giving, I love to laugh, I excel in this or that, I help people, I’m committed, honest, warm, I’m nice to people (other than myself, just kidding) I’m a great cook, I’m organized, etc. Begin to acknowledge the qualities that make you special.

Find the goodness in you and start to appreciate you for who you are. Relish your uniqueness. We are all on a journey to find our true authenticity. Yours will be different from others. There will be things you can change and things you will learn to accept and embrace about yourself.

However, the key is to learn to accept the whole package. You are a shining star in many ways. Become aware of what you have to offer and celebrate your gifts. There isn’t another person on this planet with your qualities and uniqueness.

You can’t expect others to love and respect you if you can’t. By treating yourself lovingly and respectfully, you will find others who will treat you the same. It all begins from within. When you learn to accept yourself just the way you are, you will say, “I’m happy to be me!”

If you want to find out how to discover your hidden power, go to: http://www.susanrusso.com
Susan Russo is an author, speaker and coach who provides inspiration, self-empowerment and the tools and strategies to help move you toward personal success and fulfillment. She is author of “There Is Life After What’s-His-Name and The 7 Keys To Unlock The Power Within You. Susan is also Co-Author of: Success and Happiness-16 Experts Reveal Their Secrets.

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Self Worth – 5 Steps To Respecting Yourself

June 26, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Sharon Jacobsen -

All too often we spend our lives trying to live up to the expectations of others while denying ourselves our own sense of self worth. Surely this is wrong? Were we really put on this planet to be puppets controlled by others or should we be living a life that’s happy and fulfilling?

By living the kind of life that suits us we’re actually doing more for others than if we live our lives on their terms. Ultimately, it’s more difficult to be around needy people will little sense of self worth than it is to be around those who know what they want and where they’re heading. Sure, there will always be those who would rather control us than enjoy watching us grown and thrive as independent individuals, but are they really the kind of people you want in your life?

In order to feel any sense of self worth, there are five points that must be fulfilled.

1. Don’t let others invalidate your feelings

How many times haven’t you been told to ‘lighten up’, ‘get a grip’, don’t look so miserable’, ‘stop being so emotional’ or similar words that invalidate your feelings? While this will never stop, simply because controlling personalities will always try to control us through our emotions, it’s important that you ignore their commands and accept that your feelings are your own to deal with as you see fit. If possible, avoid people who are intent on invalidating you.

2. Make Your Own Plan

For those who are too busy trying to please others than pleasing themselves, sailing through life without any plan or goal can appear to be the only real way of living. The truth is, those who value themselves also value their lives and therefore want to get the most out of it as possible.

Think about the things you’d like to achieve in your life, then think about the time you think it’ll take to achieve each of them. Your plan doesn’t have to consist of major life-changing achievements but also smaller, less important things like learning to knit or buying a bicycle.

Those who are used to having you live your life to please them will undoubtedly try telling you that you can’t change a plan once it’s made and that, if you do, you’re a loser who can’t stick with anything. That’s poppycock! Plans can and will be changed. Life isn’t rigid; unexpected events happen that demand we change our plans and any number of things can make us see things differently as we mature. As the late John Lennon said, life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

3. Be Passionate About Your Life

There’s only one certainty in this life and that’s that you’ll one day die. How long you have before that happens is anybody’s guess but what you do with that time is entirely up to you.

Live your life to the full and believe that there’s never a better time to do anything than right now. Putting things off until another time is just a way of hiding behind our fears – either that or sheer laziness.

By being passionate about your life you’re showing that your believe in yourself and your value as a human being. Don’t let others talk you out of doing whatever you choose to. Listening to others tell you what they would do is of no value to you – it isn’t them who’s doing it, it’s you and only you can know what’s right for you.

4. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure

Fear of failure stops far too many people from ever trying anything new, especially when they’re surrounded by negative people who will tell them “it’ll never work” or “you’ll just be wasting your time”, or “you’ll live to regret it.”

Maybe it won’t work, but even if you don’t get the result you’d hoped for, you’ll be an experience richer and that certainly isn’t a waste of time or anything you’d need to regret.

Failure is part of living. If we succeeded in everything we did, life would become boring and predictable. Dare to take a risk and inject some excitement into you life.

5. Lighten Up

Don’t take life so seriously. Laughter really is a great medicine that releases endorphins (feel good chemicals), eases pain and boosts our immune system.

You may well find yourself being chastised for taking things lightly but because this is your life and you make your own choices, the opinions of others will no longer matter. Life is to be enjoyed so why not enjoy it?

~~+~~

Sharon Jacobsen is a full-time freelance writer based in South Cheshire, England. For a competitive fee she’ll happily write compelling, well-researched and informative articles on any subject from hygiene to hippie culture.

To contact Sharon or to find our more about her work, please visit http://www.sharon-jacobsen.co.uk

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A Powerful Self-Love Exercise!

April 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Mary Knebel -

I first learned about this exercise last year when I attended Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success conference in Scotsdale, Arizona. Most of you will be familiar with Jack Canfield as one of the co-creators of the mega-popular Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Jack is phenomenal, and if you ever have the chance to see him speak live or present at a conference, I highly urge you to take that opportunity! Jack taught the following self-love exercise, and does it himself on a daily basis. This was the one piece of homework we absolutely had to do every single night of the conference. I figured if someone as successful as Jack Canfield does this every day, then I should do it too! I’ve since seen variations of this exercise in several popular self help books, including Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

The exercise is called The Mirror Exercise, and you’ll understand why. Every night before you go to bed, preferably after you’ve washed your face, brushed your teeth, put on your pj’s, etc., find a mirror in your home that you can stand in front of undisturbed for a few minutes. If you’re married or have a roommate, you’ll want to ask them to give you a few minutes to yourself because you should do this exercise alone to get maximum results. So find a mirror, either in your bathroom or bedroom, and stand in front of it by yourself.

For the first few seconds, just stand there and really look at yourself, deep in your eyes. Chances are you’ve never done this before, so it will probably feel very uncomfortable or awkward, and you may find yourself turning away from the mirror! Rest assured that this is normal, and simply direct your gaze back to your eyes and send yourself as much love and acceptance as you can. Really look at yourself and see what you look like to the outside world. Look at your eyes, your skin, your forehead, your nose, etc. and if you’re standing in front of a full-length mirror look at the rest of your body, too. (If you’re brave enough to try this exercise naked, go for it! But it’s not required to get powerful results…)

After you’ve really looked at yourself for a few seconds, say out loud to yourself “I love you” and then your full name. So for me I would say, “I love you, Mary Knebel.” Again, you are saying this out loud, and this may bring up uncomfortable feelings. Do your best to just stick with any feelings that come up, whether positive or negative. They are just feelings and you can accept them and allow them to be.Then you want to reflect over your day, and think of things that you are proud of yourself for accomplishing. These can be big or small things, but aim to find 5-10 things that you did during the day that you can appreciate yourself for. Here are some examples, “I’m so proud of you for eating a healthy dinner.” “I’m so proud of you for finishing the memo you said you would finish.” “I’m so proud of you for reading the kids a bedtime story before bed.” You get the idea! The idea is to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for things you achieved during the day. Again, aim for 5-10 things and remember you are saying these things out loud to yourself!

While continuing to look at yourself in the mirror, flow love and compassion towards yourself as best as you can. Now you want to find things that you love about yourself and acknowledge those qualities. For example, “I love that you have such pretty eyes.” “I love that you are such a loyal friend.” “I love how creative you are.” “I love how toned your arms are.” You can focus on things you love about yourself that are either physical characteristics or that have more to do with who you are as a person. The key is to find things about yourself that you can truly love and appreciate and acknowledge yourself for.

Finally, to finish this exercise, look yourself deeply in your eyes for a few more seconds and then say out loud one last time, “I love you” and then your name. So for me it would be, “I love you, Mary Knebel.” Really be with any feelings that come up, whether positive or negative, and just allow them to be there. Loving yourself means loving ALL of you, feelings and all.

And that’s it! As I mentioned above, this will probably feel uncomfortable or even awkward the first few times you do this. However, I guarantee you that this is normal and that you will get over it if you keep practicing! Here’s the catch: You should do this for 40 days straight, without skipping a day. If you skip a day, start over from Day One and do the 40 days all over again! After 40 continual days this will become a habit in your subconscious mind, and you will notice how much better you feel about yourself and how much more comfortable you are in your skin. The world will seem to become a much more loving and accepting place towards you, but in fact it’s your thinking that has changed the world around you. Remember, your thoughts become your reality… so the more loving thoughts you have within, the more loving the outside world will be towards you. Give this exercise a shot, and let me know how it goes!

Mary Knebel is known as the Self Help Goddess, because she loves reading and finding the best self help books and resources to help others create their ideal life. She believes that everyone should be living their dream life, every single day. For additional self-love resources or to read her new ebook, Secrets to Creating Your Ideal Life, visit her website at http://www.selfhelpgoddess.com. You will discover the best self help resources she has found over the years so you can start living a life that is meaningful, fulfilling, and satisfying in every way possible!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Knebel
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Ten Tips For Loving Yourself

April 14, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Laurie Brenner -

Working with the law of attraction is an adventure to be sure. Instead of living life on autopilot and taking what comes, why not try a different tack and you will experience dramatic change in your life.

A majority of the people alive today did not receive what was needed when they were growing up to help them develop an appreciative attitude in their adult years. Appreciation brings to you your desires quickly and easily. Because our caretakers lived what they had been taught they passed on to us the limitations handed down to them. This has been going on from generation to generation. These limitations caused us to develop belief systems centered around ideas that we are not worthy of love, abundance, peace, happiness, joy, prosperity, loving relationships, meaningful work or whatever else seems to negatively dominate your life.

Learning to love yourself is the basis for accepting anything good in your life. You can say all the affirmations you want, do the dances, and work through any of your blocks, but if you don’t love yourself FIRST and foremost, the work you are doing will fall on sallow ground.

Learning to love you is the most important piece of an inner work and is the starting point for everything else. Once you love yourself, you learn to be gentle with yourself and understand that you are perfect in the eyes of the Universe just as you are which in turn, paradoxically, allows you to grow and receive more of the benefits the Universe holds in escrow for you.

Here are ten things you can do that teaches you to love yourself:

1. Make a list of the ten things you like about yourself.

2. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or a lover.

3. Wrap your arms around yourself (in private) and tell yourself out loud “I love you.”

4. Close your eyes, visualize yourself as a small child and hug this child close to you as you tell him or her how much they’re loved and how very special they are.

5. Forgive yourself for all that you “perceive” you have done wrong.

6. Take yourself on a date. A movie, a drive, the museum, the mountains or to the beach, where ever you’ve wanted to go.

7. Buy yourself a gift, wrap it up and put it away for a month and then “surprise yourself” with it.

8. Write yourself a love letter.

9. Do something that is nurturing and comforting to you.

10. Ask yourself what YOU can do to make yourself feel loved. Write it out on a piece of paper with your dominant hand and answer with your non-dominant hand. This shifts you from left to right brain.

The bottom line is if you don’t think you’re worth loving, who can love you? You need to love yourself first before you can truly receive and enjoy the love from another human being.

Though you may be in a relationship already, loving yourself puts you in a place where you can more easily express love to another person as well as opening yourself up to the bounty of the universe. When you truly love yourself, you feel really, really good.

When you do not love yourself, you don’t feel good. For the well-being and abundance of the universe to flow to you, you need to feel good about yourself first. The Beatles had it right, All You Need Is Love.

Don’t hold back-give it to yourself. You are most certainly worth it-you’re here aren’t you?

Laurie J. Brenner, formerly managing editor of a California small-town weekly newspaper and author of The Little Book of Becoming – Understanding the Law of Attraction-The Primer to Living Inside Out and her metaphysical fiction novel, Changing Planes writes to inspire you to your own greatest potential.

To pick up your copy of the free e-book How to Attract Love, visit How To Attract Love No list to join!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Laurie_Brenner
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Return to Self Love

March 10, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Erica Goodstone, Ph.D.

Can you truly say “I love myself? Say those words now and notice what you feel in your body. Does it feel totally right, definitely correct, and easy to say “I love myself?” Or, as most of us will find if we are really truthful about it, somewhere in our body we feel a slight twinge. Some small part of us is saying, “No, I don’t really love myself.”

Maybe we feel we can only love our self when others show they love us. Maybe we can only love our self when things go the way we want in our life. Maybe we can only love our self when we “perform” in some way that pleases the people we care most about. And then, when others don’t show us their love, when things do not go the way we want, and when we have difficulty “performing” as expected, we cannot love our self.

Loving our self is probably the most difficult love to attain in this lifetime. Although most of us, most of the time, focus on the love we are receiving or not receiving from others, our focus is in the wrong direction. Instead, we need to bring our attention right back to our own self and discover, establish, connect and nurture our own self love.

Creating and sustaining self love is truly a lifetime task and only a few dedicated people really achieve it. Here are some tips for developing a strong belief in yourself and an ability to love yourself unconditionally.

  • Ask yourself, what do I like, value, appreciate, respect, admire and love about myself?
  • Ask your friends and family to share with you only the qualities they truly love about you.
  • Every day, every chance you get, find something to praise about yourself
  • Treat yourself with kindness, compassion and forgiveness, the way you would treat your best friend
  • Listen, hear the words, breathe deeply and smile every time someone praises you
  • Recognize that YOU have to love YOU first before you can attract and accept love from others

Are you ready to return to self love? Do you believe that YOU are truly worthy of love, from yourself or from anyone else? If not, your first important step is to seek help, to find someone outside of you who will acknowledge you and show you just how lovable you are. That person may be a friend, a lover, a teacher, a therapist or a clergy member. Once you have received a small dose of love from outside, turn inward and begin to spread that love to every cell of your body. You are love, you are worthy of love, you just have to feel that love from within your self.

Dr. Erica Goodstone, a Spiritual Relationship Expert, has helped thousands of men, women, couples, and groups to develop greater awareness of the issues in their relationships and their lives, to overcome and alleviate stressors and discords, and to revitalize their relationships and their own mind-body-spirit connection. Stop struggling alone. Schedule a private coaching or counseling session now at http://www.DrEricaWellness.com and you can take the Create Healing and Love Now Personal quiz and get your free personal report and bonus gifts at http://www.createhealingandlovenow.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Erica_Goodstone,_Ph.D.
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