Anger Coping Skills and Tips – Self Talk

By Nick Mutt -

Trainers should use all the four common teaching methods – instruction, modeling, role play, and feedback. Trainers will need to educate about how our opinion can influence our approach and behavior. If an important person bumps into us and we tell ourselves that he did this on reason, we are more likely to get distress. However, if we tell ourselves that it was a misfortune, we are less likely to get distress. If we give ourselves good commands during the infuriating condition, we will be more likely to respond suitably. In this article you will find effective anger coping skills and tips.

To educate how to manage anger, discuss with students the underlying principle for the topic. Provide information about how our opinion can influence our emotions. Just as other people can make us feel annoyed by what they say, we can get ourselves distress by what we say to ourselves. Give the few examples – Our manager shouts at us. If we think that he is out to acquire us, we will get angry. If we think that he is just having an awful day, we may not get angry.

Our colleagues spill something on some copies we just completed. If we think he is out to get us fired or into problem, we will be irritated. If we tell ourselves it was just an accident, we are less likely to irritate. Our spouse comes home not on time. If we think he/she is cheating on us, we will get angry. Or, if we think he/she has been an accident, we may feel concerned. Our child is creating dramas in the store. If we think he is doing it on reason and all of the people in the store are irritated with us, we may get distress. If we think that there is something incorrect with the child and most people maybe don’t care, we are less likely to get distress.

A colleague brings us a card for our birthday or anniversary. If we think he actually likes us and wants to spend some time with us, we may have feelings of magnetism and a desire to spend some time with him/her. If we think that he is just being kind, we will have approach of friendship, but may not have loving feelings. Pick a role-play and have a student practice the coping abilities to control anger. The student should practice deep breathing while the instructor says the self-statements for the student. Using the same role-play, have the student do deep breathing while he/she makes the statements out loud.

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Use Appreciation and the Law of Attraction to Tell a New Story

By Kim O’Hara -

You know that old story you keep repeating, in your head and to others? The same old tune that’s as worn out as last year’s slippers? And, about as comfortable, eh? What you’ve been repeating is likely full of past failures and present fears and limitations. It’s not serving you.

Dump that old worn out tune and create a New “Story” about your life and start repeating that, instead.

You might say: “How can I say I’m fine when I’m not?” Good question. The answer is in your focus.

Find something to appreciate, there is ALWAYS something to appreciate. For example, the sunshine, that you can walk or you can see, that you have a roof over your head, fresh water to drink. We tend to take so many things for granted, but there are many millions of people on this planet without clean water to drink!

So, latch onto those things you can appreciate right this moment. Take baby steps towards a greater appreciation of more in your life. Then you can start moving towards your desired future more easily.

If you focus on your fears or the bits of your past that upset you, that’s what your life will be filled with. Conversely, focus on what you want in life, on what you appreciate in life, and you get more of that! It’s the crux of the Law of Attraction.

So, how do you do create a new story?

It has several aspects to it, all have value. Let’s take a look.

*One is what you say when someone asks you how you’re doing. Do you trot out a litany of complaints or pretend all is well and lie to be polite or take some middle ground?

*Another is the speech you bring out for new people in your life, that one minute elevator story of woe and lack you may think of as your personal history. You all know what I’m talking about. What does yours sound like?

*A third is your “self talk.” What you are saying to yourself, inside, all day, every day. What are you repeating thousands of times a day to yourself inside your head??

It’s so tempting to complain, and so addictive, and once you get going, it can be almost impossible to stop the downward spiral. So, don’t get started, or when you find yourself getting started, catch yourself as soon as you can.

Sure those bad, negative, sad things did happen, but, why dwell there? Why focus on that? As Dr. Phil is known to ask, “How’s that workin’ for ya’?” If it’s making you feel more empowered and happier in your life, read no further.

If not, spend some time over the next few days noticing each area indicated above and how you handle them. Then, start creating a new script focused more on the positive in your life.

Start with just one area to change, and watch yourself, in this one area only! Baby steps. Just relax! Don’t get overwhelmed, it’s too easy to quit then. You could even start off with an easy area, to give you faster results.

“Spin” your current story to a more positive version! Find the gratitude lurking behind the complaints. Appreciate the tough times for how strong they’ve made you. Appreciate the valuable lessons you’ve learned from them.

Take it slow.

Every time you catch yourself reverting back to the old story, and you will, we all do for a time, simply reaffirm the new ‘story’ and move on.

It may take some time to make it sound real to your own ears. But change always feels a little awkward as it’s happening. There’s always an adjustment period for any change, even ones we look forward to.

Allow yourself the time to really feel good about this new ‘story’ that focuses on what you appreciate now, as well as your dreams, your desires, on what you want for your life.

Change won’t happen overnight. Keep at it. I promise you, you’ll feel better for it.

� Kim O’Hara

Kim O’Hara has been through a lot of emotional turmoil and pain in her life. Out of the ashes of her past (and over sixteen years of dedicated study) came the inspiration to create special guided meditations. These meditations almost effortlessly change limiting beliefs that hold us in struggle and pain. Fast results come through the use of brainwave entrainment along with carefully scripted messages. Visit her website at http://Joyfulinnerself.com to get her Free Relaxation Meditation, a full thirty minute guided meditation, or to check out her blog.

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Self Identity and Performance

By Sonja Fullwood -

Have you ever watched someone accomplish a task that you have not been able to accomplish? Do feelings of frustration occur? Does the mental chatter begin that says negative things about you and to you? Do you begin to feel inadequate and stupid? Have you ever considered that the other person may have spent more time practicing this task and thus has more advanced skills? So, if this is true, might it also be true that with more practice you could perform this task equally as well? Yes, that is true!

If you flip into negative thinking the task will become impossible to complete or to conquer. Thinking positive thoughts helps us to perform our tasks better. Think of the first time you had to program your cell phone? Did you know what to do? Did you give up or were you persistent and committed to the outcome? Did you stay positive with thoughts that said “I will figure this out – I know I will.” Now if you were presented with programming a new cell phone, it might be a different model, but you would not feel intimidated by the process. Correct?

Our brains are the center of our lives. We have over 50,000 thoughts per day. Just because a thought passes through your consciousness does not mean it is the truth. You can learn to challenge these negative thoughts and beliefs. A couple of simple phrases I use to challenge specific thoughts are – “thank you for sharing,” or “cancel”, or “dismiss.” Remember, a thought is only a thought not a call to action nor does the thought have any more meaning than the meaning you give to the thought.

As you approach new challenges, quiet your mind and pull forth those positive words and phrases that will support you in performing well. Begin to reprogram your thoughts – it is your brain – learn to manage it more efficiently. People believe this is impossible. Really? If we are not in charge of our thoughts, who is in charge?

As you begin to communicate with your thoughts you will begin to control the outcome of your results. Your thoughts have become part of you based on past experiences. We also hold on to other peoples’ comments to us that might reinforce our negative self- talk. Change your thoughts, change your life.

Your self-identity is driven by your brain and how it has been programmed to think. Even though you failed at a task earlier in life; such as public speaking, does not mean you can not be a spectacular public speaker. Because this belief lives in your brain and, again, you are in charge of your brain. Practice positive self-talk and re-programming your brain.

Sonja Fullwood, author, life, health, and prosperity coach. Sonja brings a life-time of experience, knowledge, and accomplishments to her coaching business. Sonja is direct in her approach to coaching and holds people accountable for their actions and supports the greatness and potential in everyone. Visit my site at http://sonjafullwood.com. This site is a work in progress – please feel free to visit and comment.

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Gaining Self-Awareness – How You Can Do It Through Self-Talk

By Abhishek Agarwal -

blue-butterflyYou can ensure a bright future for yourself if you raise your level of self-awareness. You can enhance your awareness of yourself through self-talk and positive thinking, the keys to a long and successful life.

Living is not fun if you don’t have something to look forward to, and goals give you something to work for, something to expect, and something to look forward to. Setting goals is of great importance in life. And before you can set any goals, you need to enhance your level of self-awareness.

When you become more aware of yourself, you gain more knowledge about yourself. Self-awareness enables an honest and balanced view of your personality, which will, in turn, enable you to interact with your peers confidently and openly.

You can develop self-awareness through positive thinking and self-talk. Simply think positively about your personality and your life. Self-talk, which will help you become more positive in life, is the sure way of gaining self-awareness.

Basics of Self-talk

Go to a quiet area in your house or garden. Visualize yourself sitting with another person. You don’t have to worry about your safety. The person you are visualizing is your own self. Your aim is to understand your own self better, and the only person you can help you do this is yourself–your best friend and confidant.

Visualize your own self sitting in front of you and communicate with yourself. Ask your self about your feelings, about the things that are going on in your life. Assure yourself that you are always there for your self and that you would always lend your self a hand. Encourage your self so that you can rely on your self and give your self a helping hand whenever you are in need.

The more you get to know yourself, the easier your life is going to be. Don’t judge yourself when you engage in self-talk. Instead, make it a fun experience akin to the experience you have when you go out with your friends.

Here is an example to help you get an idea of what happens in self-talk.

Self: How are you?
You: I am fine, but I have been working long hours, and I am really tired.
Self: Why do you work so hard?
You: Well, I have to be loyal to my employer, show dedication toward my work, and deliver prompt results.
Self: What do you get for working so hard?
You: Oh, people show their gratitude sometimes.
Self: How do you feel so?
You: Sometimes, I feel they don’t really care.
Self: Ok…
You: Aren’t we now thinking out of context?
Self: Not that I know of. We are still traveling in the same vehicle.
You: I am afraid, I am the culprit here. I am thinking about playing golf tonight with the others. I simply don’t understand where the thought sprang from.
Self: It came from me; I inspired it. I was just wondering how wonderful it would be to finish work early tonight and just relax and watch a movie instead of hammering away on this keyboard till my fingers ache.
You: That sure sounds like a great idea! I am really feeling extremely stressed. A breath of fresh air is all I need to come back to life after all these long hours of writing.
Self: Well, what stops you from doing just that?
You: Nothing really! Why don’t we just go out and have some fun tonight, just you and I?

So, you must have got some idea about self-talk. To a certain extent, all of us indulge in it. Here, you are doing it consciously.

Self-talk can be crazy at times, but who cares as long as it works? If you read between the lines of the above example, you will notice a sense of stress and emptiness in life, a void that waits to be filled. The person who is engaging in self-talks feels unappreciated, overburdened, and longs to take a break. Perhaps if he or she goes on a vacation, he or she will be able to return to work refreshed. Moreover, the person will be able to get rid of negative thoughts.

So, as you see, apart from giving you an enhanced level of self-awareness, self-talk refreshes you and makes you feel more positive toward life.

Abhishek is a Self-Development expert and he has got some great Positive Attitude Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 87 Page Ebook, Positive Attitude For Unlimited Success from his website http://www.Positive-You.com/689/index.htm. Only limited Free Copies available.

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Self Esteem Tips – For Goodness Sakes, Stop Talking About Your Problems

By Joyce Lee

It always amazes me how many women are in the habit of going over and over the details of their problems.  They fret, worry, stew, think about them, talk about them and carry them around ready to haul them out at any opportunity. [Read more...]

Three Weird (But Effective) Methods Of Improving Self Esteem

By Jon Mercer http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jon_Mercer

Improving self esteem is something that will benefit every area of your life.  Research shows that approximately 70% of the population suffers with low self-esteem, and in some ways, it is the great epidemic of our time.  Lack of confidence and self-esteem causes us to make poor decisions, and to set our goals and expectations far too low.  As a result, many people become underachievers and end up settling for less than they deserve out of life. [Read more...]