Self-Improvement | Soul | The Self Improvement Blog

What Happens When We Die? I don’t know. Do you?

May 8, 2012 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

There are some things that we just don’t know for sure and one of those is what happens when we die. Do we go to a place called Heaven or one called Hell? What about Limbo? What about the Bardos? Do we come back again and live another lifetime or do we just have one chance to get it right? (And what does “getting it right” mean?) Do we just cease altogether and disappear from all realms?

You can find “experts” who represent each of these ideas and declare that they are the only ones who have it right (I always find it amusing when someone gets dogmatic about things that cannot be known).

One thing for sure is that we are all going to do it – each of us will “die” some day - so you might want to give it some consideration while you can.

You might want to watch the videos on the right. Put together, they are nine parts of a documentary made for HBO and present a number of different points of view on life after life or, if you want to say life after death that’s o.k., too. There are a number of movies that deal with life after death - like What Dreams May Come, Meet Joe Black and Heaven Can Wait. There are many more, most of them comedies. We have books, movies and TV shows about ghosts, apparitions and paranormal phenomena and stories of near death experiences by people who have been pronounced dead only to come back with stories of “the other side.” Read the “Featured” article on today’s blog – Life After Life – Death Is Merely a Changing Room for one of these stories. As a hypnotherapist I have worked with a number of people who had near death experiences who wanted to remember more about what happened and see if they could re-create the amazing love they felt while they were there. They don’t waver in their stories nor does anything change – they simply recall more of the details and bask in the feelings of love and exhilaration. I have read a couple stories of those who did not have a wonderful experience but I have not met them.

Some claim they can talk with those “on the other side.” I had someone that I loved very much who died of Lou Gehrig disease in 2001. A couple of months after his passing a psychic friend of mine said she had messages from Stephen. They didn’t make sense to her and she apologized for telling me such strange things. But I knew exactly what she was talking about – things that only Stephen and I shared with each other. She was, excuse the expression, “dead on.” No one else knew. So where did the message come from? Many say they can feel the energy of their loved ones and some have seen them. How do you explain that?

What about Mediums? I don’t know. But I don’t discount them. I know there are charlatans in business, in entertainment, in sports, in government, in religion, in education – and in the paranormal realm. I know, too, that there are people in those fields that you can absolutely trust.I know several mediums that I absolutely trust. I know others that I don’t think are accurate.

I think life is an exciting, crazy ride that we know very little about. I plan to keep an open mind and an open heart so I don’t miss a thing. I happen to believe that that part of me that is “me” – the conscious part of me – will continue and since I have no choice in whether or not my body dies, I might as well look forward to the next great adventure.

In the meantime you might want to listen to The Self Improvement Show tomorrow when Donnie Tash, a gifted medium, will talk about “Gratitude from the Grave.”

Life After Life – Death Is Merely a Changing Room

May 8, 2012 By Admin Leave a Comment

By Edward Toupin -

Since I awoke from my three month coma in August of 2004, I have been asked many times about what I remembered and experienced. After looking over my notes and speaking with my wife and some of the medical professionals involved, I decided that it might be a good idea to write a short overview of these experiences. They were both wonderful and frightening, but the lessons I learned and the “gift” I was given are worth more than anything I could ever experience again.

When I awoke, I was told about my wreck and my coma. That wasn’t all that exciting. But, what really kicked me in gear was when my wife and the surgeons carefully informed me about my deaths and myriad other events. It was all amazingly like a dream! I couldn’t believe it! How could I have died if I feel more alive now than ever before? I remembered everything that happened during the noted coma. But, I never knew I was in a coma because I actually “lived my life” through what I now know were “trips” outside of my comatose state.

The medical professionals were amazed because I not only described activities that occurred to me physically, but I described the nurses and the rooms I was in during my comatose state. I then carried on about where I went, what I did, and what I saw. Mystified and concerned, my wife and the medical staff stepped outside to discuss my mental and physical state. My wife then re-entered and told me that I was never supposed to walk again. I was never to function mentally as I had. I was not to live but five more years on feeding tubes and a respirator in a nursing home. Ouch! I was a power lifter and a mathematician, writer, and software engineer! It just knocked me for a loop! But, this was not acceptable.

Now, I have to take a tangent to discuss what happened in my “death-zone”, comatose excursions. It was an amazing adventure! I visited homes, people, and places of business that had come into existence during my coma and afterward. For example, I described one house to my wife and how to get to the property. I drew the map and the house’s layout. We took a day and drove there to find that the exact house I “visited” was being built were I saw it in my death-zone travels. Another example was a “visit” with my brother, who is alive and well, as we ate at a restaurant, made of coral, by a body of water. Amazingly, in the physical realm, he came to visit and I took a picture of him when we went out to dinner. Upon review of the photo, I noticed that we were next to a lake with a coral statue standing behind him, outside of the restaurant. I’ve always had a bit of psi ability and have been practicing and studying it for years, but this was beyond me! These events, in addition to many others, caused me to consider that my travels were more than just mental twists and dreams.

However, back to the bad news, I had to deal with all of this without the realizations that slowly came back to me from my trips. I was blank and empty and going to die. What did I have to lose? I demanded the removal of the tubes and other paraphernalia as I didn’t want to drag this on for too long for my wife. Let’s just do it. I then, went to sleep.

Three days later I woke up in a rehab center. My blood pressure was normal and, having had my tubes removed, I was starving and had to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t an easy task to “walk” to the bathroom, but I did. I then decided to take a further trip to the cafeteria. Of course, I didn’t make it, but I was so close I could smell the hospital food. One of the assistants at the center caught me, put me in a wheelchair, and rolled me back to the room. Stubbornly, I crawled into bed myself. But, I did it!

After my single attempt to make it on my own, everything else came into place like a puzzle. One piece fit nicely into another. How I made it, no one knows. I was released from the rehab center in three weeks and, two months later, I am doing everything I did before the accident — only better. I’m walking, driving, and traveling with my wife! I’m doing my writing, math, and software engineering again! I am better in the sense that I am a better person than I ever was before. Better in the sense that I have a greater patience and an understanding that I never had before. Smarter in the sense that my mind is more open and I no longer have the fears and baggage that I had before the accident. Richer in the sense that I have my life back.

But, how did I get here? I should be dead — or so I’m told often as my doctors sign off on me. I know now that I was given “a gift”. The gift is different for everyone. Some don’t understand it and become bitter while others see it and want more of it. Smashing my head into the ground and being stuck on a 750 pound motorcycle during three flips is the hard way to receive a gift. But, it is more of an education and an “essence” than anything physical. It is me. It is you. It just … is!

The gift is very simple and small, but very powerful. It is simply — seeing and feeling. I lost that somewhere along the way. It is knowing what is there and seeing what is here. Feeling everything. Riding in the dream instead of chasing it. The memories, emotions, and feelings that taunted my life and vision are gone. I feel and see like never before. My wife calls my new gift an innocence. I call it a knowledge of all and the wonder of a child.

But, what does all of this mean? During my numerous trips in my dead-zones, I was greeted by many people who would speak to me and then tell me to gather my things. They were angry with me as I was told I was “in the wrong place”. My things were these odd bubbles floating over my head that contained visual memories that were part of my life. I simply took out of the clouds those memories I wanted to keep. When I awoke, I was to have suffered horrendous memory loss. However, I’ve been tested and evaluated to find that I’ve not lost any mental function or memory. As a matter of fact, I recall things now that were amusing and wonderful parts of my life that I had long forgotten! I have so many new stories about my life that my wife enjoys at every dinner!

However, these people I mentioned would speak to me in my travels. I only remember extreme words and feelings as a flash, but I “feel” the results of these discussions. Issues that have been hidden, yet affective, in my life were discussed and resolved. It was as if I had to re-experience the events of my life, things I had forgotten, and resolve them — Now! Amazingly, I recalled all of those forgotten, painful memories when I awoke. But, the pain was gone! They were just placeholder memories of times gone by. They became educational pictures on the walls of my mind as opposed to blocks in the way and baggage to carry in my life.

But, one of the many questions of my life, that was answered, was about death. Is the afterlife as final and drastic as religion teaches? Is there a heaven and a hell? Will I really see my relatives, my dad, when I die? Call it the ultimate research project, but the results were amazing. From my experiences in my coma and death-zones, I found that death is but a quick change in a dressing room. I merely changed “clothes” to continue down the path I was heading before! It was just life as it was and always will be. It is the life I led and experienced. It is a continuation of everything I was into and everything I wanted to be. Looking for a better life after death is for naught if the life we make in this physical realm is unbearable. If it is hell on Earth, then it will be hell “off Earth” as well. If the physical realm is heaven, then it will be heaven. It is the actions we take and the decisions we make “here” that determine what happens “there”.

I learned from my discussions and travels that the body is merely a host and the important elements of our lives reside inside it, and around it. Although it was badly damaged, my body wasn’t lacking the ability to walk, eat, and perform the necessities of a physical life. It was my soul, my higher self, that had been in a coma for years and hadn’t come around as of yet. As it began to wake, it provided the energy and effort to make the body move and heal in its necessary ways. Now, it’s all good and functioning as it should!

Speaking of my soul being in a coma, it is interesting to think that, through the years, we all become so keen at neglecting our higher self and our souls that the physical becomes the core. Feeling and seeing have become secondary to the physical temptations. The physical is only a temporary stage in our existence. It is the spiritual and higher aspects of ourselves that we must attend so that we can ensure that we have the fulfilling life we want now and later. The physical is never fulfilled as once the half-filled glass if full, it wants a bigger glass. The physical only knows the need for survival. It is the “souler” that adds the intelligence and creativity to living. The souler can be fulfilled in the simplest things and is bent on living to the best that it can be in all ways.

Although it is a gift that they gave me — to come back and be — I must add that you should not try my trick at home. Crashing on a mountain, falling into a coma, and then dying is not a way to spend the summer. Although Las Vegas has a hot summer, I could have simply gone to the lake for the time I spent asleep. But, all that I learned and feel now can easily be integrated into any life simply by stepping back and evaluating what is truly important. Let the souler come out and rule the physical! What truly means something to you? Who truly means something to you? Where do you want to go?

In the end, it wasn’t a miracle. It was the harshest, yet most rewarding, experience of my life. It is a chance to create my heaven for my next visit. It is a chance to appreciate so much more. It is a chance to give so much more. It is a chance to be so much more. It just … is!

Edward B. Toupin, Ph.D. is an author, publisher, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, and technical writer living in Las Vegas, NV. His research focus is on cognitive transformations, epistemology, and metaphysical topics. His experiences have spawned a new series of articles and a book project entitled “Dynamics of Life” that peers into the hidden recesses of our physical and spiritual interactions.

For more information, and to find out about his upcoming books, e-mail publish@toupin.com or visit http://www.make-life-great.com or [http://www.life-vision-imagineering.com]!

etoupin@toupin.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Edward_Toupin
http://EzineArticles.com/?Life-After-Life—Death-Is-Merely-a-Changing-Room&id=22088

Editor’s note: The Self Improvement Show on Thursday, May 10 will talk about talking to those on “the other side” with medium Donnie Tash.You can find the show at 12 noon at http://www.worldtalkradio.com/worldtalkradio/vshow.aspx?sid=1822

Filed Under: Featured Tagged With: life after death, Life after life, self improvement, soul

Food for the Body, Nourishment for the Soul

July 22, 2011 By ireneconlan Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

(Something light for a hot day in summer)

Almost everyday there is a new article or news item about food. Everyday we pick and choose what we want to eat whether it fits someone’s idea of “balanced” or not. We read about superfoods, whole foods, organic foods, genetically engineered food, packaged food – for the body. But what about food for the soul?

I used to think that the soul was fed only through the study of sacred scriptures – the Bible, the Vedas, the Tao Te Ching, for example. I still believe their teachings are valuable, but they are only one course in a three course meal for the soul. Scripture is perhaps the “main course” because if we listen closely, we may hear the voice of the Divine and learn valuable lessons from the sacred teachings that have come down through the ages.

If scriptures are the main course then, to me, beauty is the appetizer. Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my idea of beauty may be entirely different from yours. That’s not just okay – that’s fantastic because there is so much beauty to behold. Beauty comes to us through each of the senses so we’re continuously presented with it in some form, if we are awake and aware enough to notice.

For me beauty to enjoy with my sense of sight is all around me – everywhere I look. I especially love the beauty in nature – flowers, trees, clouds, clear sky. But I revel in the beauty of a child’s face (especially the faces of my grandsons), any painting by Monet, lovely fabric, a seascape, and sunrises and sunsets. That’s just the beginning – my list is endless. Almost everywhere I look I see beauty.

My hearing is thrilled with sounds of the ocean in its constant ebb and flow (it’s hard to hear it on the desert but a CD will give you the same feeling), the birds singing outside my window, or a child’s laughter. Bach’s “Sleepers Awake!” (Cantata 140) – or almost anything by Bach – makes my soul soar, and hearing my sons’ calling “Hey, Mom!” brings it even more joy.

My taste? Oh, it has to be chocolate in any form, Maryland crab cakes, a great cup of coffee or a glass of vintage Cabernet Sauvignon. On a hot day, nothing tastes better than a glass of cold, pure, spring water or a tasty glass of lemonade. These feed my body and my soul simultaneously.

What tickles my sense of smell? The sweet smell of a baby’s skin, the scent of any flower, the air right after it rains, cinnamon, cookies baking and lavender. With any of these, if I close my eyes and inhale I can feel my soul expand.

And then there’s touch. I think of a wonderful massage that kneads my tight, tired muscles and helps every muscle relax, or the feel of silk on my skin, or the gentle touch of someone who loves me. When my sons were babies they would reach up and touch my face with their tiny hand bringing almost more soul expanding joy than I could take in.

So we have beauty as the appetizer coming in through the senses and the sacred writings as the main course. Now, what’s for dessert?

Love is the dessert. Think about what is said of love: Love makes the world go around; Love heals; Perfect love casts out fear: Love conquers all; God is love. Science has proved that feeling loved creates positive change in the body at a cellular level and stimulates the secretion of endorphins – the “feel-good” hormones. It stimulates the immune system to help your body heal itself. Poets have written about love from the beginning of poetry and love songs have been written and sung over the ages. Preachers have preached about it, advertisers exploit it to sell a product, and now scientists are studying it. We all want it, some long for it, some die for it. Love – the sweetest dessert.

The poet, Rumi, said “The soul is here for its own joy.” We are offered so much “soul food” – teachings, beauty, love. It’s up to you to reach out to take it. And your taking all you want doesn’t diminish the supply for anyone else. So now is the time to feast. I love the little poem by Hafiz that says just this:

Let’s Eat

Why
Just show you God’s menu?
Hell, we are all
starving -
Let’s eat.

(From The Gift: Poems by Hafiz The Great Sufi Master. Translations by Daniel Ladinsky)

Filed Under: Irene's Articles Tagged With: Food, nourishment, self improvement, soul

February 24, 2011 – Dreams

February 24, 2011 By Admin Leave a Comment

Dreams are gifts of the soul. We need to make every effort to cherish them, to live them. Otherwise they only surface in our sleep. A soulful life is an awakening and actualizing of our deepest dreams within.

~Allison Maslan

Filed Under: Daily Quotes Tagged With: daily quote, dreams, soul

Staying In Tune with Your Soul While Running Your Business

February 24, 2011 By amaslan Leave a Comment

By Allison Maslan ~

Have you ever impulsively jumped on a great new idea to make money only to find that your enthusiasm dwindled after the first week or two? Have you started a hobby that a friend got you fired up about, dropping a big investment to get started, but soon after you completely lost interest?

In order for an activity or goal to sustain itself long enough to be successful through life’s ups and downs, there must be meaning or a passion behind it. This love of your work, relationship, hobby or practice is the glue that will keep you cherishing your wins and picking yourself up after your losses as you progress on your path toward success. When an activity or goal has meaning to you, you are more likely to give your heart and soul to this cause, making sure that you stay focused, labor over every detail, and absorb yourself in every moment. When you spend time on efforts that really matter to you, it’s much more probable that you’ll make the commitment that’s necessary to build a lasting entity.

Millions of people desire to leave the confines of the corporate world to start their own business. Even though they fantasize about the idea of freedom, they become paralyzed with fear at the thought of leaving a safe, secure job. I talk to people all day that tell me they are feeling empty as if something is missing in their daily lives. They spend three quarters of their lives at a job void of soul and passion. Their creativity and drive are buried so deep within them they feel numb and shut down. The status quo, title and a paycheck are not enough anymore. They have upped the ante. They now want to be inspired and fulfilled with purpose in their home and work life.

Then there are those who have taken the haphazard plunge into a business that they are not passionate about, and find themselves feeling like they have fallen into the drudge of yet another boring job. What was once their mission becomes their biggest nightmare.

After a few years of being disillusioned they opt to throw in the towel. This does not need to happen!

When the purpose of your business matters to you on a deeper level, your efforts will endure. And when you reach your meaningful goals, success will feel like a shining glory. When you have built something you can be proud of, something you are completely passionate about, the satisfaction is not only in the outcome, it’s in the day-to-day process. If you’re only working toward the destination and not reveling in the journey, you miss out on the abundance of life. When you are only focused on the goal , you may find yourself thinking, “Is that all there is?” while feeling empty, sad and bored, and once again, unfulfilled.

What’s the difference between those entrepreneurs who are optimistic and moving forward and those who are just getting by? I believe that much of it has to do with how you view the glass – half full or half empty. George Sheehan (author, track star, cardiologist), once said, “Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” People with a positive outlook and a life plan don’t get off the track when things change – they just change tracks.

As a life and business strategist, I spend a great deal of time helping clients tap into their passions, and then guiding them to create a business that reflects their inner purpose and dreams. Particularly in this economy, if you are a business owner that is having some slower weeks or months, it is crucial that you stay connected to your mission and why you started the business in the first place. If the business is only about making money, there is not much heart or soul to draw from to get you through.

Here are a few tips to feeding the soul in yourself and your business.

*Surround yourself with inspiring and motivating people. You may find that your usual crew begins to lean toward the negative side of life when times get tougher. Seek out those people who are supportive of your goals. Join groups or seek counseling to keep you motivated and accountable.

*Be Easy on yourself. Change and transformation can bring up all sorts of good, bad and ugly stuff. When you feel yourself struggling, take a break. When you have small successes, give yourself kudos for all your hard work and continue to move on toward your bigger visions and dreams.

*Start now. You don’t want to look back in ten years and realize that you’re still at the same place in your life then as now. Even if you love your life now, growth is a necessary part of your evolvement on this planet. Every single day of your life is precious. Embrace it, and those you love, to the fullest.

Once you finally connect with something that has meaning to you, and your internal passion regarding this is accessed and utilized, your once deadened perception and reality will be pumped with new and energized life blood. I call this your Secret Spark, a perfect mix of meaning and passion that enlivens your life purpose and gives you the drive and stick-to-it-ness to make things happen. When you discover the soul in your business, your work will become stimulating and fun, and you’ll be immersed in your satisfying activity and lose track of time.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: business, loving what you do, optimism, soul

Reclaim your soul from the rat race

October 31, 2010 By amaslan Leave a Comment

By Allison Maslan, President of Blast Off! Life and Business Coaching -

The philosophy behind modern technology is that it’s supposed to streamline and simplify our lives. But do you ever find that the more cool gadgets you have to make life easier (cell phones, PDAs, even digital books!), the more complicated your life becomes?

For instance, one time I returned from vacation to find over 2,000 e-mails! This is not simplifying life. It’s amplifying more things to do.

It’s easy to get caught up in the mania of the rat race in which life leads you instead of you leading it. The energy of our lives moves forward at an alarming rate.

Just look in the rearview mirror while you’re driving on the freeway. Everyone is heading forward in high gear to complete something. Many of the drivers are more focused on anything but being present in the journey. This is the “living outside of the body syndrome,” a state of complete disconnection with the present moment.

The fact is, your life will be stressful if that is how you perceive the world. Plus, the unexpected happens every day. Meanwhile, the more you attempt to live life to the fullest, the more you will expose yourself to diversified tones of energy and experiences. Well, thank goodness for those surprises! ’Cause let’s be honest. If life were controlled and predictable you would be bored. This is the pace of our times.

So how can we manage the “racy” ride in a calmer and more fulfilling way? Is it even possible to live a full life while taking the stressful times in stride? Can you prevent burnout? Can you get everything done without losing your soul and spirit in the process? Yes, you can.

There are many ways to slow down the pace without sacrificing your intent. Remember, productivity could be a waste of your precious time if your intention is to just get things done and off your list.

I’ve had many people tell me, mostly women, that they cannot sit and relax until everything is done. But basically, everything is never done. So they spend their lives trying to accomplish the impossible, hoping that someday they can stop and enjoy their lives. This makes no sense, does it?

What to do about all the non-valued to dos? Well, here’s a place to start. Let your people (friends, clients, etc.) know that you answer e-mails and calls certain days or times of the week. That way, you won’t feel the pressure to respond right away. When you do sit down to reply, you can handle it all at once rather than piecemeal throughout the day.

Your personal energy bank

Another preliminary step to reclaiming your true self is to find out where the energy leaks are in your life so you can begin to repair them. Then you can focus your energy in a direction that is feeding you – not draining you.

Everything is made of energy. This is the Law of Quantum Physics. If you look at a table or a couch under an electron microscope, you’ll see that they are actually made up of atoms in constant motion, just like your body.

All of these things are always changing and never standing still. Therefore, you have the ability to create and change your reality in every moment.

Your thoughts and actions also operate from this precious field of energy, and thoughts are powerful. Just think, when you think to take a step, you take a step. When you think to raise your arm, your arm is elevated. Since thoughts are energy, it would make sense to choose positive thoughts and actions that will benefit you by replenishing and expanding your supply of energy, not draining it.

Visualize your body attached to a cord that is plugged into a generator. Just pretend that you are receiving your morning dose of 100 kilowatts of positive energy, which is supposed to last you all day. You start the day with a full tank of energy. Let’s see where you are at the end of the day after depleting your energy bank with negative energy drainers. Take a moment to consider how much negative energy you expend.

Here’s an example of an overburdened tank:

Full Tank: 100 kW, minus negative energy drainers. Watch how the tank becomes empty.

Dread concerning the meeting with your boss or assistant: 10 kW.

Fear about not being able to do a good job: 15 kW.
Self-reproach about not cleaning the house: 5 kW.
Guilt about the argument you had when you dropped your daughter off at school: 10 kW.
Saying yes when you meant no and harboring resentment all day: 25 kW.
Obsessing over your date and wondering if you’ll ever get together again: 10 kW.
Regret about having that extra serving of mashed potatoes: 10 kW.

Total energy left: 15 kW.

You’ve already given away 85 kilowatts and that leaves you with only 15 left to make it through the day. No wonder you’re so stressed and tired by 4 in the afternoon! You are emptying your tank through negative emotions and beliefs that are creating your reality. Just think what would happen if you replaced this negative focus with positive thoughts and actions.

Now try it yourself on your next full day. Start with 100 kilowatts again in the morning. But this time, whenever you feel a negative thought coming on, switch it immediately to a positive one, even if it is fake or forced. Eventually, positive thoughts will come more naturally and you’ll end the day with lots of reserve in your tank. See how you feel!

By taking a look at what triggers your stress responses, you can become more aware and actively prepared to take care of yourself in these instances. At those times, you can use your inner sense of stress rising to create strength, empowerment and resilience, and eventually learn how to avoid the trigger altogether.

By making these simple changes, you could add years to your life span, and you’ll feel so much better during this fantastic voyage you have been blessed with.

Filed Under: Self Improvement Tagged With: energy leaks, enjoy life, rat race, self improvement, soul, work place

Who Are You?

May 21, 2010 By ireneconlan 3 Comments

By Irene Conlan -

The other day I stopped by the library to pick up a few books I had reserved and I decided to browse a bit. I love libraries and searching through the stacks to see what they have. I love the “library smell” of old books and the quietness as well as the feeling of being surrounded by old friends. I paused at the psychology section and one book seemed to shout at me from the shelf, “Hey, pick me! Pick me!”

I did. I took it off the shelf and couldn’t put it down.

Surrendering to Yourself: You Are Your Own Soul Mate by Iris Krasnow was a fascinating read for me. It’s about knowing who you are apart from your relationships and your employment. It was prompted by her wondering – and fearing – what her life would be like when her children left the nest. Who would she be then?

This is a dilemma faced by many parents whose lives are invested in and entangled with the lives of their children when it’s time for the children to leave home and begin their own journey through life. It is also a dilemma faced by professionals who, when they retire, have no identity apart from what they’ve been doing for the past fifty years. “What do I do now?” they wonder and don’t have a clue where to turn.

Krasnow talks about discovering and nurturing the soul. She says:

It is impossible to hear the soul if you don’t stop, even for a day or two, and disconnect from the world. I mean really disconnect. From email and faxes and beepers and connect with what is crying out inside of you. I am clear of my own cry right now, and it is to discover a self beyond the labels mom, wife, writer. Whatever titles you hold, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse – make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond, parent, attorney, teacher, nurse – make sure you too are trying to know the self beyond your job description.

Your children are not you. Your spouse is not you. Your job is not you. And until you consciously go there, dig there, move the other stuff out of the way for a while and hang out with yourself, the you of truth remains a buried jewel.

Many of us face an identity crisis sometime in our waltz through life. The music changes its beat and we don’t know how to dance to it. Crises of “who am I?” and “What am I supposed to do now?” sometimes follow a major life change such as divorce, child birth, children leaving home, graduation, change of job or profession, the death of a loved one. Or it can emerge when you realize with a shock that your life is on hold, that you’re living on automatic pilot, cruising through the days without noticing much of what is going on around you. It happens,too, when one day you look in the mirror and realize that you have grown old and, searching through your mind and emotions, find that your goals have been met, most of your dreams have been realized and now what? (Find new goals and new dreams, of course. What fun!).

I was looking for more material on self esteem – something new, perhaps some “how tos” for this blog. I didn’t find it in this book.

What I did find was a warm, down-to-earth, life story by a brilliant writer who had the courage to bare her soul for all of us to see and know. She tells her own story and includes fascinating and personal narratives by many others. While she doesn’t give you bullet points on how to become acquainted with your own soul, she leads by example and leaves you with a longing to find a quiet place and get started on this great adventure.

It seems to me that If you get to know yourself at a soul level, the problem of poor self esteem will be resolved and you can begin to live your life flat out. We’ll be talking more about this in the days to come.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who is sincerely interested in personal growth and the exciting exploration of their own soul.

Krasnow, Iris. Surrendering to Yourself: You Are Your Own soul Mate. Miramax Books. N.Y. 2003. It’s in libraries, bookstores and Amazon.com.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Self Improvement Tagged With: getting to know self, Self Esteem, self identity, soul, soul searching

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