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Success in Life Starts With Knowing What You Want

February 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

By Paul R Roy -

Success is so many different things to many of us. It may be material things, money or a relationship that brings us love. The perseverance toward obtaining these things is what separates the dreamers from the realists. Success is commonly found in those who make their dreams reality. But how do you find out what it is you want?

We often hear people use the word vision. Simply put it means that you can clearly see where you are going. Exceptional people are often referred to as visionary. But what does that really mean? I believe visionary people are able to bring new yet unseen pictures and ideas to reality. Less visionary people can do this to, but at a level we already know exists. We often hear of people using vision boards with pictures of their favorite car, their dream house or favorite vacation spot on the vision board. You can use these pictures as subtle reminders that help us stay on track. Many of these pictures have come from our dreams and goals. They can be transferred loves of things from our parents. We should also make sure they are what make us happy too. I caution that chasing other peoples dreams can lead to heartbreak.

The most important part is to understand that we gravitate to what makes us happy. You must and you have to put yourself first. That does not mean you have to give up your love of others and become singular. I suggest you look at it this way. Don’t you want your wife or children to be happy? Of course you do. I suggest to you they want the same for you.

The following six tips will get you started in obtaining a clear picture of what it is you want and where you want to be.

  1. Write down all the things that make you happy.
  2. Make sure it is what makes you happy and not what someone else wants for you.(ownership)
  3. Take it the next step and write down why they these things make you happy. (validation)
  4. List these make me happy priorities in the order of importance.
  5. Write down your action plan that you are going to use toward achieving these things that make you happy.
  6. Share these affirmations with your mentor or accountability partner.

Your Success is just outside your comfort zone.

Staying on track is not always easy. Your success rate jumps when you have to report to someone what you have done this week toward achieving our goal. As simple and goofy as it may feel, I truly believe you will not find success if you do not write down what it is you want. If you can not get to that level of commitment right out of the starting gate you will continue to struggle in finding success.

Not all of us have a “Eureka” moment that defines what it is we want in life. What matters changes as we grow older. The need to impress others also diminishes as we grow older. We gravitate toward what makes us happy. Knowing these things earlier in life helps us find success sooner.

Paul’s many years of business and life experience have provided him with the expertise to deal with complex issues regarding success and obtaining your goals. Paul has developed a passion for writing and chooses to share this knowledge with his readers and clients. Paul has lived and taught much about what he writes about. This is what separates Paul from those who have just studied it from those who have experienced it,studied it and taught it. Life is full of tough decisions and some times we need a coach to help us through that. Paul can help you get pointed in the right direction and gain control of your life once again. For more information please go to http://www.toyourfuturesuccess.ca

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Paul_R_Roy
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She Stole My Idea and I Don’t Know What to Do

January 16, 2012 By 1 Comment

By Bonnie Marcus -

Sometimes ideas come to me at the strangest times, like when I’m taking a shower, at 2 am when I can’t sleep, or when I’m driving my car. But when a great idea comes along you know it right away, right?

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. As I was driving my car, a light bulb went off. I suddenly thought of a terrific idea to move a struggling project forward. I was certain that this new innovative approach to a stale project would have a positive impact on the project as well as my department and I couldn’t wait to share it with one of my co-workers.

The next day I met my colleague for lunch and I was bubbling over with enthusiasm as I told her my idea. She was equally excited and validated my strategy and creativity. I couldn’t wait to present this at our next senior staff meeting later in the week.

In the senior staff meeting, we made our way through the agenda and the troubled project became the focus of our discussion. I was already thinking about the best way to present my idea when my colleague addressed the senior team with a potential solution; MY SOLUTION! She stole my idea!

My face immediately flushed and I could feel my heart rate accelerate. I didn’t know what to say or do.

This a theoretical situation but my question to you is this: What should I do in this situation?

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do and how did it turn out?

Please email me me your thoughts and I will post them next week along with some of my suggestions for how to handle the situation.

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You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

December 8, 2011 By 1 Comment

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes: You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

By Chace T Parask

“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much in so little time? How come you constantly hear stories of somebody who was broke as a joke and then all of a sudden a year later they have made six or seven figures? How does success come so fast for some people?

Thinking is always easy, but success minded thinking is not a habit which everyone possesses. So even though thinking may be easy, your thoughts may not be taking you where you want to go. Knowing how to think and then immediately acting on your thoughts creates success momentum!

The saying that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is absolutely true. Those people who are rich got there for a reason and that reason was not luck! You all know someone who had every opportunity in the world, but they blew it. Likewise we have all seen someone who had all the odds stacked against them, but somehow they managed to come out on top.

The successful individual grooms their thoughts. They consistently manicure every idea and mold their thoughts to their preference. So for the successful individual thinking itself is an action. The successful individual drives their thoughts towards their goals. Think of your thoughts as a train. If you are driving a train and you want to get your precious cargo to its destination then you must keep the train on the tracks and certainly on the correct track. If you let your thoughts run wild that is like setting a train on full throttle and then curling up and taking a nap. That would be utter insanity. The train would blast off the first tight corner, it would smash into cars, at the very least it would take the wrong track and would never reach its objective.

Habit number one today is: Take action with your thoughts. Don’t let your mind react to the world around it, concentrate your thoughts on that which you desire.

Successful people know that when they have an idea or a passion they must act on it to give it the power it has. You know this is true. There was an old man, that used to live next to us. He did not have two pennies to rub together, he lived with his very elderly mother and he was the most unhappy person you ever met. When I would go over there as a child he would tell me every miserable thing that ever happened in his life. Then he would tell me all the great ambitions he had. When I would ask him what he did to act on his ideas the answer was always the same. “Ooh I didn’t do that, because (insert lame excuse here)!” Even as a child I felt confused, here was an adult that I should respect, but he seemed to lack simple common sense. His advice was always virally negative, “Ah, don’t do that, that will never workout!” Whenever I left his presence it was a breath of fresh air. Like the dark cloud of failure had drifted away and a burst of positive energy was allowed back into my life.

Fast forward fifteen years and I am sitting in one of my uncle’s multimillion dollar homes. This man is a success in everything he does. He talks as if the world bends to his will. He is not conceded or cocky he just has this expectation that when he puts his mind to something he will do it. His answer to everything is, “Well is that what you want? Then go do it!” I never want to leave his presence, he is a man of action! He is always happy, always smiling. His positive energy is infectious! He knows what he wants, he focuses on it and then he takes immediate action. Without ever looking back.

Habit number two today is: Take immediate action on your desires, once you have a developed your concentrated thoughts.

If you create these two habits within yourself, you will properly focus the energy of abundance in your life. Then success will find you with incredible speed. Those who changed their lives or those who continue to lead successful lives, they lead their minds with the habits above. It works for them and it will work for you!

To create more abundance in your life click on http://EnergyOfAbundance.com and use this free resource for all of Chace Parask’s readers. If you are looking for more financial abundance click on http://Action-Pays.com and see how you can learn to create multiple, simple income streams.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chace_T_Parask
http://EzineArticles.com/?Johann-Wolfgang-Von-Goethe-Quotes:-You-Must-Overcome-This-Difficulty-To-Be-A-Success!&id=6721154

 

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes: You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

 

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes: You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

By Chace T Parask

“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much in so little time? How come you constantly hear stories of somebody who was broke as a joke and then all of a sudden a year later they have made six or seven figures? How does success come so fast for some people?

Thinking is always easy, but success minded thinking is not a habit which everyone possesses. So even though thinking may be easy, your thoughts may not be taking you where you want to go. Knowing how to think and then immediately acting on your thoughts creates success momentum!

The saying that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is absolutely true. Those people who are rich got there for a reason and that reason was not luck! You all know someone who had every opportunity in the world, but they blew it. Likewise we have all seen someone who had all the odds stacked against them, but somehow they managed to come out on top.

The successful individual grooms their thoughts. They consistently manicure every idea and mold their thoughts to their preference. So for the successful individual thinking itself is an action. The successful individual drives their thoughts towards their goals. Think of your thoughts as a train. If you are driving a train and you want to get your precious cargo to its destination then you must keep the train on the tracks and certainly on the correct track. If you let your thoughts run wild that is like setting a train on full throttle and then curling up and taking a nap. That would be utter insanity. The train would blast off the first tight corner, it would smash into cars, at the very least it would take the wrong track and would never reach its objective.

Habit number one today is: Take action with your thoughts. Don’t let your mind react to the world around it, concentrate your thoughts on that which you desire.

Successful people know that when they have an idea or a passion they must act on it to give it the power it has. You know this is true. There was an old man, that used to live next to us. He did not have two pennies to rub together, he lived with his very elderly mother and he was the most unhappy person you ever met. When I would go over there as a child he would tell me every miserable thing that ever happened in his life. Then he would tell me all the great ambitions he had. When I would ask him what he did to act on his ideas the answer was always the same. “Ooh I didn’t do that, because (insert lame excuse here)!” Even as a child I felt confused, here was an adult that I should respect, but he seemed to lack simple common sense. His advice was always virally negative, “Ah, don’t do that, that will never workout!” Whenever I left his presence it was a breath of fresh air. Like the dark cloud of failure had drifted away and a burst of positive energy was allowed back into my life.

Fast forward fifteen years and I am sitting in one of my uncle’s multimillion dollar homes. This man is a success in everything he does. He talks as if the world bends to his will. He is not conceded or cocky he just has this expectation that when he puts his mind to something he will do it. His answer to everything is, “Well is that what you want? Then go do it!” I never want to leave his presence, he is a man of action! He is always happy, always smiling. His positive energy is infectious! He knows what he wants, he focuses on it and then he takes immediate action. Without ever looking back.

Habit number two today is: Take immediate action on your desires, once you have a developed your concentrated thoughts.

If you create these two habits within yourself, you will properly focus the energy of abundance in your life. Then success will find you with incredible speed. Those who changed their lives or those who continue to lead successful lives, they lead their minds with the habits above. It works for them and it will work for you!

To create more abundance in your life click on http://EnergyOfAbundance.com and use this free resource for all of Chace Parask’s readers. If you are looking for more financial abundance click on http://Action-Pays.com and see how you can learn to create multiple, simple income streams.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chace_T_Parask
http://EzineArticles.com/?Johann-Wolfgang-Von-Goethe-Quotes:-You-Must-Overcome-This-Difficulty-To-Be-A-Success!&id=6721154

 

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes: You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

 

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Quotes: You Must Overcome This Difficulty To Be A Success!

By Chace T Parask

“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much in so little time? How come you constantly hear stories of somebody who was broke as a joke and then all of a sudden a year later they have made six or seven figures? How does success come so fast for some people?

Thinking is always easy, but success minded thinking is not a habit which everyone possesses. So even though thinking may be easy, your thoughts may not be taking you where you want to go. Knowing how to think and then immediately acting on your thoughts creates success momentum!

The saying that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is absolutely true. Those people who are rich got there for a reason and that reason was not luck! You all know someone who had every opportunity in the world, but they blew it. Likewise we have all seen someone who had all the odds stacked against them, but somehow they managed to come out on top.

The successful individual grooms their thoughts. They consistently manicure every idea and mold their thoughts to their preference. So for the successful individual thinking itself is an action. The successful individual drives their thoughts towards their goals. Think of your thoughts as a train. If you are driving a train and you want to get your precious cargo to its destination then you must keep the train on the tracks and certainly on the correct track. If you let your thoughts run wild that is like setting a train on full throttle and then curling up and taking a nap. That would be utter insanity. The train would blast off the first tight corner, it would smash into cars, at the very least it would take the wrong track and would never reach its objective.

Habit number one today is: Take action with your thoughts. Don’t let your mind react to the world around it, concentrate your thoughts on that which you desire.

Successful people know that when they have an idea or a passion they must act on it to give it the power it has. You know this is true. There was an old man, that used to live next to us. He did not have two pennies to rub together, he lived with his very elderly mother and he was the most unhappy person you ever met. When I would go over there as a child he would tell me every miserable thing that ever happened in his life. Then he would tell me all the great ambitions he had. When I would ask him what he did to act on his ideas the answer was always the same. “Ooh I didn’t do that, because (insert lame excuse here)!” Even as a child I felt confused, here was an adult that I should respect, but he seemed to lack simple common sense. His advice was always virally negative, “Ah, don’t do that, that will never workout!” Whenever I left his presence it was a breath of fresh air. Like the dark cloud of failure had drifted away and a burst of positive energy was allowed back into my life.

Fast forward fifteen years and I am sitting in one of my uncle’s multimillion dollar homes. This man is a success in everything he does. He talks as if the world bends to his will. He is not conceded or cocky he just has this expectation that when he puts his mind to something he will do it. His answer to everything is, “Well is that what you want? Then go do it!” I never want to leave his presence, he is a man of action! He is always happy, always smiling. His positive energy is infectious! He knows what he wants, he focuses on it and then he takes immediate action. Without ever looking back.

Habit number two today is: Take immediate action on your desires, once you have a developed your concentrated thoughts.

If you create these two habits within yourself, you will properly focus the energy of abundance in your life. Then success will find you with incredible speed. Those who changed their lives or those who continue to lead successful lives, they lead their minds with the habits above. It works for them and it will work for you!

To create more abundance in your life click on http://EnergyOfAbundance.com and use this free resource for all of Chace Parask’s readers. If you are looking for more financial abundance click on http://Action-Pays.com and see how you can learn to create multiple, simple income streams.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chace_T_Parask
http://EzineArticles.com/?Johann-Wolfgang-Von-Goethe-Quotes:-You-Must-Overcome-This-Difficulty-To-Be-A-Success!&id=6721154

 

 

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Let Them Fail?

October 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment

– By Tommy Wittig -

Ever noticed how some people just aren’t motivated no matter what the reward? Ever tried to “Nice” someone into doing things different? Have you ever tried to curb someone’s behavior by “sweetening the deal” so they would do this rather than that? How well did it work for you? Yep, that’s what I thought.

By Tommy Wittig -

So, I got to thinking today, why is it that the typical individual needs to have their “Come To Jesus” moment before they even consider making a positive change in their life? For instance, why does it have to come down to a Doctor telling you that you have Lung Cancer before you would decide to quit smoking? Why does it take Heart Disease or Diabetes for an individual to start eating healthy? Why does it take a divorce, or worse, a loved one’s death, to make you realize that you should have spent more time with your family?

In each of these generalized examples it took having to face the worse-case scenario before realizing that it’s time to make a change for the better. In each of these circumstances, you can only imagine that each of these cases knew better but simply did not do better. Why? Was it because they really were unaware of the potential consequences of their behavior? Was it because people weren’t nice enough in telling them how to change? Was it because the reward for changing wasn’t good enough? No, it wasn’t any of these reasons. Simply put, you cannot motivate the unmotivated.

Whether we like it or not, there are many people who would sooner choose to do the least amount required of them, just as long as it allows them to get by. There are many more who will push the envelope even further and do the very things they know are wrong so long as they can get away with it. Excellence and integrity seem to be a thing of the past while apathy, laziness, and selfishness appear to be the way of the future. Oh woe is us! Whatever shall we do in these dark and dreary times?

Sit tight faithful reader, I’m about to tell you. But I’m warning you, you might not like it. You might think I have completely turned away from my stand for Personal Responsibility and Common Sense. You might think that I have given up on my message of Personal Development and that I no longer care about what happens to others. In all that I am about to say, be sure of this; I say it with the utmost care of others and I will prove it.

So what to do with the unmotivated? What to do with the people we love who are unwilling to make a change for the better? What to do with those who have chosen to take up destructive behaviors and are no longer interested in things like Integrity, Responsibility, Honesty, Healthy Living, and Selflessness? What to do, what to do, what to do…

My answer? Do nothing and let them go.

“What?!?! Are you saying to just give up on them and let them fail?!”

No, I am not saying that we should give up on them but I am saying we should let them experience failure. Why? Because when it comes down to it, failure is the one motivator that typically reaches those who cannot be motivated by the more traditional methods. In many ways, failure exists for the sheer purpose of kicking someone in the butt by telling them “Hey, blockhead! Don’t do that anymore! It doesn’t work!” It says “I am your last resort. Either learn from me now or you will never get it.” (Author’s note: Sadly, there are those who indeed never get it. Why? God only knows. Remember, I am speaking in generalities here and I cannot possibly speak to every circumstance or situation.)

The interesting thing about failure is that while it comes in many varieties, the overall impact is the same; game over. For example, failure to spend time with your family (divorce) is different then failure to eat healthy and exercise (disease). Failure to show up on time to your job (you’re fired) is different than failure to quit smoking (cancer). Failure is a direct consequence to simply not doing what you know you should do.

So where is the compassion in letting someone experience failure? First off, compassion for others does not come to an end by letting someone run out the natural consequence for their behaviors. If you know someone who simply cannot be influenced with positive reinforcements, then it might be time to turn them over to their own vices. As I’ve said before, nobody changes until they want to, and not a minute sooner. For some it’s as simple as pointing out the error of their ways; for others, not so much. There will always be those who need to learn the hard way.

Is it painful to watch those who you love continue to make poor decisions? Yes. Is it difficult to sit by and allow someone you care about to hurt themselves or others? Absolutely. But let me remind you – even God allows us to make mistakes. As hard as it may be to watch your loved ones do stupid things, you have to remember that each of us has the gift of Free Will. Aside from raising our own children, we have no right to impose our will upon another human being (and even as we raise our own kids, we have to be careful to impose wisely). So the compassion really comes down to this – respect. By respecting someone’s decisions, behaviors, and choices, you increase your odds of becoming a positive influence by removing yourself from the nagging and lecturing.

Even though it may require someone to hit rock bottom before they will turn their lives around, you can be the first one they see when they look up. Again, therein lies the compassion. Be there for them. Spare them the lectures and let them learn from the negative outcome if it has to be that way. Respect their Free Will and let yours be the first hand they grab when they are ready to get back up.

Failure may carry a negative connotation but for some it is the best thing that ever happened to them. If they had not failed, if they had not bottomed out, if they had not lost it all, they quite possibly would have lost everything, including their very own lives. For some there simply won’t be a positive means of encouragement and direction to steer them away from doing the wrong stuff. Sometimes ours is not to be the one to save them from falling. Sometimes ours is to be the one to lift them up after they have fallen.

Tommy Wittig

© 2011 T-Dub-Ya Words

Tommy lives in Brooklyn Center, MN with his Wife, Kimberly and their three children, Jayden, Rachel and Zachary. When he is not writing or speaking, you will find him playing Guitar and Drums with his Band. A self-taught musician and Head-Banger at heart, Tommy takes his love for Rock And Roll center stage with a style that is rare in the Self Improvement field. “I coined the phrase ‘No suit, No tie, All business’ because I wanted to be different in my approach to the people I hope to reach. You’ll find a long-haired, T-shirt and Jeans wearing guy lecturing you on Personal Responsibility and Integrity. We’ve all heard it from the Suits, and while I am not knocking them, I think there is a new generation of people coming up that don’t wear the suits and ties and want someone they can relate to. That’s where I hope to come in.”

To learn more about Tommy, you can find him on Twitter [@tommywittig], Facebook and his Blog, www.expertofnonexpertise.blogspot.com

You can visit Tommy at his Website, www.tommywittig.webstarts.com

Feel free to email Tommy at, tommywittig@gmail.com

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This is it – your last chance to get in on an opportunity

June 8, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Dear Irene,
This is it – your last chance to get in on an opportunity
that has the potential to change your life.
My webinar, “Six Steps to Reaching Your Goals Once and For All!
takes place today at 5:00pm PST and 8:00pm EST today.
And if you’re serious about receiving powerful guidance
to reach ALL your 2011 goals, you want to be on it.

Reserve your spot here: http://www.myblastoff.com/2011goals/

I’ve already explained what you’re going to learn on the call,
and how to determine whether the call is for you, in previous emails.
What I haven’t talked much about, though, is what could
happen if you don’t make the call.
The truth is, not much. You will probably continue on, just as you
have been. You’ll continue to feel overwhelmed as your great
ideas pile up without turning into anything concrete. You’ll feel
frustrated as you juggle life and business without ever truly making
the progress you want to. And you’ll continue to let your insecurities
haunt you and ground your dreams.
If you’re ready to make a big change—and start turning your
dreams and goals into reality—then join me today. I can show
you exactly how to do exactly that!
You may be wondering how one quick, 75-minute call can shift
your life and business as dramatically as I’m saying it can. Here’s how…
I’m was recently named one of the top women entrepreneurs in America.
My mission and passion is helping others reach their true potential.
And I’m going to explain exactly how I built 9 successful businesses—
earning several million dollars over the past several years—despite
starting with no money, against all odds as a single mom.
Then how I’ve helped others to do the same.
I’m going to share the secret I always use to ensure business success.
The one that’s led me to create one success after another.
On this call, you’re going to discover how to access the fire inside
of you, so you can break free from your fears to become a
high-flying success mogul.

Of course, what you do with this information is up to you!

But you’d be selling yourself short by missing this call.
Reserve your spot here: http://www.myblastoff.com/2011goals/
Keep in mind that when you register for the call, you’ll also
get the link to my NEW 3-video series that are getting rave
reviews, in which I reveal the exact same strategy I’ve used to build
several mega-successful businesses – and go into depth regarding
TWO crucial elements of that strategy. You don’t want to miss it.

Here’s that link again: http://www.myblastoff.com/2011goals/

Remember, the call and the video series are absolutely, no obligations FREE!

To your joy and success,

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A Formula for Happiness

June 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Mehera Arjani -

As a behavioural psychologist and Life-skills coach, the study of happiness is important to me. Not just professionally, though a lot of my clients are in pursuit of happiness, but also spiritually and personally.

I grew up in a family that follows the Indian spiritual Master, Meher Baba. His best known quote (used by Robby McFerrin in the song ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’) is “Don’t worry, be happy. I love you more than you can ever love yourself.” As a child I took this quote for granted, but my belief was tested many years later, when I was going through the break-up of my marriage and subsequent divorce. One time I was with Meher Baba’s sister Mani Irani when she said to me, “Don’t think that Baba’s message to not worry and be happy is merely a feel-good saying. It is an order from your spiritual master and has to be obeyed. You owe it to Him, if not to yourself, to not worry and be happy. If anything or anyone stands between you and the carrying out of that order, you need to remove that thing or person from your life.”

Having been given such a strong directive, I had to think about my life and what exactly was making me unhappy. After a lot of heart-searching and honest evaluation I realised that the main cause of my unhappiness was not my husband at the time but my expectations of him, my marriage and our life together. As a behavioural psychologist I knew I could find a way to work through this. I would be a pretty useless behavioural psychologist if I didn’t! So I started keeping an ‘Expectations Diary’. This was a small notebook that fit into a pocket and had a pencil tucked in the spine. Each time I had an expectation, no mater how small – the toast will turn out just as I like it, I’ll not hit too much traffic on my way to work, my son will not track mud through the house, my husband will remember to say ‘thank you’ for the meal I cooked – I made a mark in the diary, a five-bar code. If it was a big expectation, I wrote a bit about it, but mostly the book was filled with five-bar codes. At the start I had well over 750 expectation incidents a day. No wonder I was unhappy!

Day after day over a period of five years I reduced my expectations. My husband did not, so we ended up separating and eventually divorcing. But I ended up with between 250 and 150 expectation incidents a day. No matter how I tried I couldn’t get them down further. But it worked! I was happier than I had ever been. People started noticing that I was more positive and had a much more realistic approach to life and they began to ask how they could achieve the same results in their own lives.

So far I had ignored reality, and only focused on expectations, but I looked at how reality impacted on the level of happiness in my life and I came to the conclusion that there is an almost scientific formula for happiness:

HAPPINESS = REALITY / EXPECTATIONS or H = R/E

We have two ways of increasing the happiness in our lives. The one I had used was a reduction process, I reduced my expectations and increased my happiness. But there is a second way. You can expand your reality by setting and achieving realistic goals to become more qualified, wealthy, popular or whatever. A lot of my clients were over-achievers, and reducing their expectations was very difficult for them. So we had to work out a programme of expanding their reality side by side with cutting out some of their more extreme expectations. The perspective needed to shift from merely looking at overt success – professional growth, promotions, big contracts, more business, more money – to real success. The apparently successful had to look behind their outward achievements to the desolation in their personal lives – the broken marriages, failed relationships, estranged or neglected parents and children, lack of true friendships and a hollow spiritual core – and decide if they really wanted to be happy. Did their inner happiness mean enough to them to sacrifice some of the outer trappings of material success? If they could honestly answer in the affirmative, we worked together, if not they had to find another therapist. Over the years I have helped a lot of individuals move towards real happiness, not just for themselves but also the people they care about. They in turn have gone on to spread the message of the Happiness Formula to others.

In case you are thinking, “What on earth did she do with the Expectation Diaries?” After five years I had quite a few collected, so I burnt them. I had a great time symbolically saying goodbye to the obstacles to my happiness. There is something of an arsonist in most of us that loves a good bonfire, I think.

Meher Baba Quote courtesy of Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust (AMBPPCT)
Article copyright Mehera Arjani

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May 24, 2011 – Get Up, Dress Up, Show, Up

May 24, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Sometimes success comes just because you chose to get up, dress up and show up.

Paraphrased from someone I can’t remember by Irene Conlan

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Keys to Happiness: No. 1 Self-Appreciation

April 26, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Michael Hadfield -

Appreciation, or rather the expression of appreciation, is essential for emotional health and well-being. Appreciation is a skill that we can all learn. But it has to start at home. It has to start with appreciation for you.

Appreciation of self may not come easily. I don’t know about you but I grew up with the sense that to ‘blow my own trumpet’ was a bad thing – something I shouldn’t do because I wouldn’t be liked if I did. Being liked was important to me – so I didn’t blow my own trumpet – ever. I also rarely felt good about myself. In my seeking to understand me I discovered that a powerful connection exists here..

If you don’t already feel good about yourself, and you seek happiness, then learning the art of self-appreciation is the key to unlocking the good feelings you’d like to feel inside of you. With that in mind I have some exercises for you to complete. I would like you to make a chart of your life. Write down a list of numbers that represent ages from 0 to your current age – one line for each. Then just allow your mind to drift over each of those ages briefly and note down anything significant to you in the way of a success, or an achievement – something you felt good about at the time, or you feel good about now. Things like starting school; passing some exams; getting a job; getting a job you wanted; kissing someone you liked; first-time sex; riding a roller coaster; taking a picture; first pay check; growing a plant from seed; eating something you’d grown; fulfilling a dream; healing. It really doesn’t matter what it is, it definitely doesn’t matter if the rest of world would see it as insignificant, what matters is that it was important to you and made you feel good, or excited, or happy.

Now when you’ve been over the list and filled in all the major events, look at the gaps and see if you can possibly find something to put on every single line. That’s a bit of a challenge I admit, and there is certainly no failure if you have big gaps, but you will find that as you move your mind towards thinking in terms of achievements and successes that more and more memories will come up.

Now, buy an expensive frame, and frame this ‘certificate’ of achievement and hang it on your bedroom wall. If you have a computer and like to play around, type in all the information and turn it into an impressive and attractive certificate and print it on some quality notepaper. As you look at it every morning and every evening and see just what a wonderfully successful person you are, you may find that any gaps will soon be filled as your mind switches its focus from failure to success. Pick one item each day, fetch back the memory, and fully appreciate the importance of that event in your life.

One other activity I’d like you to engage in is another simple exercise. At night, just before you drift off to sleep, I’d like you to wander through your day in your mind and find between 1 and 5 things that happened that day that you appreciate. It doesn’t matter how small these items of appreciation are. There is always something good in a day. If the sun came up this morning then that’s a good thing. If you put food in your mouth, and water in your belly – that’s a good thing. If you enjoyed the food and drink – that’s even better. If you saw a flower, or enjoyed its scent, then make note, if you were lost in its beauty for a moment – then that’s a miracle. If your car started, or your bus turned up; if you have a job, or lots of free time… if you took a breath and were still alive to enjoy breathing it out again… the list of ordinary, mundane, incredible things that happen to us each day, and that we take so totally for granted, is endless. Start to notice them and continue this exercise until you feel that appreciation and sense of wonder at the time you are experiencing the event.

Make this conscious effort to agree to spend a moment or two each day to express sincere appreciation and thanks for the miracles that exist around you and within you. Learn to appreciate the wonder of you, for none of these experiences could exist without you the Experiencer to enjoy and appreciate them. Your experiences are unique to you. When you experience joy the planet has more joy in it. By the simple act of appreciating those simple, yet wonderful, things that you experience, you will change your world for the better.

Michael J. Hadfield MBSCH is a registered clinical hypnotherapist. You can experience his unique style on a popular range of hypnosis CD’s and tapes at http://www.hypnosisiseasy.com Here you can also obtain treatment for a variety of problems and explore his approach to health, healing, and hypnosis.

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Big Ego Or Self-Esteem?

April 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Leslie Fieger -

I received an email from a reader who wanted to know how it is possible to have a highly developed level of self-esteem without becoming, or seeming to be, egotistical. The very question shows that our cultural brainwashing works to limit one’s belief in one’s self and self worth. Being egotistical is seen to be a negative thing and, by inference, those with extra high levels of self-esteem are taken to be egotistical; therefore bad.

First of all, let’s clarify the difference: Egotists are essentially insecure people who are attempting to cover up their own suspicion that they are not quite as good as other people by pretending that they are more important. People with very high levels of self-esteem do not need to determine their self-worth by comparing themselves, either publicly or in their own minds, with others.

An egotistical person’s sense of self-worth is mostly determined by external conditions, circumstances or events.

They promote themselves so that they can be convinced of their own value by the feedback they receive from peers, fans, voters, employees or even their own children. They often strive to be high achievers because they can then get the acclaim of others, in the hope that this acclaim will somehow prove their worth; though it seldom erases the suspicion that they are unworthy. It is not a bad thing to be egotistical; it is just sad.

A self-esteemed person’s sense of self-worth is mostly determined by internal conditions like attitude, compassion, belief, passion and personal vision. They also tend to have a direct sense of their relationship with divinity. Not the kind of divinity promulgated by preachers, mullahs and gurus who teach that human beings are base creatures who can only merit salvation by submitting to the will of some god; but the kind of divinity that teaches that all things, including you, are sacred and worthy of being honored as such.

That’s the trick to having a high level of self-esteem: to know yourself as being both a sacred creature and a divine creator; and then to honor yourself as such by acting as such. If you want to develop a high level of self-esteem, you must first come to know your true self and then, you must fall in love with your true self. That’s another bit of cultural brainwashing you must overcome. Self-love is often seen as narcissism or extreme vanity. It is not; any more than self-esteem is egotism.

So change your perspective. Having a high level of self-esteem does not equate to being egotistical. If others wish to interpret your sense of self-worth as meaning that you have a big ego, let them. That’s their problem, not yours. Loving yourself unconditionally does not equate to narcissism. It is simply honoring that spark of divinity that resides in you. Those who also honor their own divinity will not think you vainglorious; they will simply say “namaste”. Namaste means, ‘the sacred in me recognizes and honors the sacred in you’.

Forget the big ego. Know thyself; honor thyself; love thyself. Then go about your job of being a contribution to your fellow creatures. Modern day culture teaches that the more you accumulate, the more you are worth. The truth of the matter is that the more you give, the more you are worth. The more you are worth, the more wealthy you can become. If you want to be wealthy, develop your self-esteem. If you want to be prosperous, become abundantly worthy. Believe in you.

The true measure of your wealth is not measured by what you are able to accumulate, but by what you are enabled to contribute.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of several books, including The Master Key, Alexandra’s DragonFire, Your Prosperity Paradigm and The DELFIN Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest. You can find more wealth creation information at ProsperityParadigm.com or LeslieFieger.com

Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

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Happiness Comes From Within

March 28, 2011 By 1 Comment

By Arnold Quickley -

Whenever I start feeling like the world is too heavy for my meager shoulders, I try to think about all of the people who continue to live wonderfully happy lives, despite very adverse circumstances. How do they do it? How can they still manage to laugh and play in the midst of an incredibly stressful life? The answer to this question is not hard. True happiness comes from within, and internal joy is rarely affected by external events.

How does one become genuinely happy? The first, and often not so obvious, step is to start loving yourself. My brother, a Catholic priest and religion professor, once told me that “real love requires acceptance.” So, if you truly want to start loving yourself, it means accepting the fact that you are not perfect. People make bad choices all the time. Genuinely happy people always manage to find the courage to recover from their mistakes. If you’re really serious about finding true happiness, it’s important for you to accept the fact that you’re only human. From time to time, you will mess things up.

Genuine happiness also comes from contentment. If you are truly contented with your job, the way you look, your family, your friends, the place you live, your car, and all the other things in and around your personal space, you already know the answer to the question “How do I find genuine happiness?”

This journey we call life is really about learning the difference between right and wrong, trying and failing, and even wining and losing. These are the things that happen to us almost as often as we breathe. In many of our lives, failure has become as abundant and necessary as air. Yet, these failures should never stop us from becoming happy.

Genuinely happy people don’t normally wallowing in their failures. Instead, they tend to look at failure from a more optimistic point of view. Optimists believe failure is just a temporary setback, and that the causes are confined to just one case. So, an optimist will only focus on and plan for the problem at hand. They often use a technique known as “positive reinterpretation.” In other words, they will most likely interpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. People who embrace this optimistic outlook are rarely deeply affected by failure, since they perceive it as a challenge, and they will therefore try harder.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest car, or living in the biggest house. In reality, true happiness has very little to do with the accumulation and possession of material things. Contrary to what you might think, the most sought after prizes in life don’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest, or even the best. Why? It’s because each of us has our own definition of happiness. For a writer, true happiness may mean creating a best selling novel. Happiness for a professional basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. However, for a beggar, real happiness could be as simple as getting a hot meal.

While true happiness isn’t about having all the best things in the world, it is about doing your best, and making the most out of every situation. Until you learn to smile at your own mistakes and tell yourself you’ll do better next time, strong will and determination will never burn inside you. True happiness requires a willingness to stand up and try again, especially when you get knocked down.

Learning to accept yourself and your own faults, is the first step toward finding genuine happiness. And once you’ve learned to accept yourself, it won’t be much of a stretch for you to accept others. Remember, love is really about acceptance, and when you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. One of life’s unchanging rules is the fact that you always get back what you put out.

“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?” – Albert Camus

Arnold Quickley manages two websites: http://www.teasetsworld.com and http://www.origamiboxes.etsy.com

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